Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov hasn’t been seen in public for a few days, an absence that some observers see as particularly worrisome in light of a Moscow business publication’s citing of “informed sources” of Lavrov being “absent by agreement” from Wednesday’s televised high-level national security council meeting with murderous dictator Vladimir Putin, CNN reports.
Lavrov’s body has yet to be found splattered on the pavement outside of a tall building, which does nothing to rule out the possibility that it’s simply splattered on the rooftop of an adjacent shorter building. Or maybe he was still in his car while it was crushed into a cube at a junkyard. Or fed to Putin’s dogs. Or pigs. Or the pigs and the dogs fought over Lavrov’s flesh for Putin’s entertainment.