The massive, 6 to 12 inch thick ice sheet that presently covers a good 95 percent of Lake Erie just fucking cracked in half on Sunday, rent by fierce northerly winds after apparently getting snagged on the Long Point peninsula in Ontario where the rupture opened and spread down to somewhere in the vicinity of Cleveland, Accuweather reports without any mention of casualties from the split.
That means there probably weren’t any locals driving snowmobiles or ice fishing or just out for a stroll getting some fresh air out on the frozen inland sea who were swallowed up. Probably.