Orange God Emperor skipping mass cult gathering

Sources tell Time Magazine that, for the first time since 2016, convicted felon President Trump is skipping CPAC, the mass cult gathering in which he is slavishly worshipped like a golden bovine.

The precise reason why is unclear, but Time suggests it could have something to do with it being in Texas rather than the usual National Harbor, Maryland venue. Not really sure how that’s an issue either but who the hell knows with this fat, old weirdo and his random peccadilloes.

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Orange God Emperor skipping mass cult gathering

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