In a development that is pretty congruent with the intended result of such a brazen theft and yet also could very easily have been an afterthought for police, WHAS reports that Evansville, Indiana man Randall Baker blew a .103 BAC after he was arrested for stealing a Bud Light delivery truck whilst the driver was unloading cases of the formerly artificially-MAGA-controversial mass-market beer in the parking lot of a liquor store on North Governor Street at around 3 PM Friday.
Further details about how Baker was apprehended were not in the article, how much time and distance he was able to put in between himself and the scene of the theft and, most importantly, specifically whether it either were ample enough for him to have actually consumed any of his ill-gotten spoils from the heist. Baker’s moderate level of intoxication and the location of the theft do however point toward it being a simple crime of opportunity by an ebullient and daring boozebag who was making his way into the liquor store to restock on his spirit of choice, saw this most unexpected of openings to obtain a vast wealth of alcohol – along with the keys in the ignition.
Heartbreaking to think that he might not have been able to crack open even one tall boy though.