Having been deemed flawed because its authors failed to reach the conclusion supporting MAGA pseudoscientific principles, a report by CDC researchers that found the COVID-19 vax to be safe, effective, and proven to reduce hospitalizations in those infected with the virus has been officially nuked by the agency and will not be published in its flagship journal, the Washington Post reports.
“The [CDC’s official circular Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report]’s editorial assessment identified concerns regarding the methodological approach to estimating vaccine effectiveness and the manuscript was not accepted for publication,” said Team Brainworms spokesman Andrew Nixon in a statement that had already been prebunked by the sources that leaked to the Post that the MMWR reviewers had, in fact, approved the findings and had slated it for the publication’s March 19 edition.
To be fair to Nixon though, the “concerns regarding the methodological approach” did at least nod at the truth – that the researchers had not properly worked backward from a conclusion such as that the COVID-19 vax turns human flesh into a ferromagnet on which you can stick silverware and paper clips. Or is responsive to 5G signals transmitted by Soros to infect you with the woke mind virus. Or whatever they wanted, so long as they wound up with something besides “safe and effective.”