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Scientology rages at Xenu cultists “speedrunning” into sanctums

The “Church” of Scientology on Wednesday invoked religious freedoms as it decried a recent TikTok trend of kids “speedrunning” onto its properties by simply entering the door and seeing how deep they can get before security grabs them and drags them out, ripping into the fad as “trespassing, harassment and disruption of religious facilities,” NBC News reports while sanewashing the sci-fi cult as “a fiercely private religious group that follows the teachings of founder L Ron Hubbard.”

“Over recent weeks, individuals have repeatedly forced their way into Church properties on Hollywood Boulevard, disrupted religious and public facilities, damaged Church property, and endangered staff, parishioners and visitors,” the “Church” said, adding that turning its “OT reading centers” into “targets for viral stunts is not journalism, protest or civic activity.”

The cult – which teaches that human psychological problems are caused by “thetans” who are the ghosts of trillions of aliens that were imprisoned by the evil galactic Lord Xenu 75 million years ago and sacrificed by being immolated on board one of dozens of giant golden spaceships shaped exactly like McDonnell-Douglas DC-8s as they were intentionally crashed into Mauna Loa in Hawaii and then those alien ghosts were again imprisoned and brainwashed by Xenu before he released them into the aether where they floated until they infected human souls – was particularly incensed after a Saturday mass “speedrun” of a Los Angeles center. Among the dozens of rogues rushing into the Hollywood Boulevard location were Sonic the Hedgehog and Jesus Christ cosplayers.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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