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Gulf Coast under tropical storm warning from Bertha

“At 700 AM CDT (1200 UTC), the center of Tropical Storm Bertha was located near latitude 28.8 North, longitude 86.2 West. Bertha is moving toward the northwest near 5 mph. A slow northwestward to west-northwestward motion is expected today followed by a turn toward the west by the middle part of this week. On the forecast track, Bertha will move near or along the northern Gulf Coast during the next several days. Maximum sustained winds are near 50 mph with higher gusts. Some slight strengthening is possible later today, followed by gradual weakening through the middle of this week. Tropical-storm-force winds extend outward up to 80 miles from the center.”

“The estimated minimum central pressure based on NOAA Hurricane Hunter aircraft data is 997 mb. Tropical storm conditions are expected within the warning area along the northern Gulf coast by late today into Wednesday,” says the National Hurricane Center in an update on Bertha.

“Bertha” seems, um, antiquated. And for a specific type of person. Sleeveless, yelling don’t slam the screen door of the trailer, floorboards of said trailer sagging under the spot where she typically sites whilst watching QVC or religious programming. Not really like, say, Sydney Sweeney.

Huh… Look if there’s a “Bertha” who’s a top Instagram model or whatever then let’s see it.

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