A most un-wizened and un-cunning mage of questionable skill at sorcery hath pleaded guilty in a court of mortal law Wednesday for crafting a most crude instrument of simple combustion to smite a rival in a failed quest for the affections of a fair maiden, the Daily Beast reports. Clayton McCoy, a former spellcaster of the Dragohir live action RPG from the ghoul-infested realm of Ohio, surrendered Wednesday to this most humiliating of defeats in a lawcourt in the shire of Baltimore.
Erek Barron, an enforcer of manlaw empowered by Dark Brandon, decreed that McCoy’s attempt to annihilate his rival with a packaged “pipe bomb” disguised as a gift of tribute shall be punished to the fullest extent of manlaw, with McCoy condemned to as many as 360 moons in a dungeon riven by fiendish vagabonds and vile shower goblins. Perhaps the most unforgiving irony of this tale is that the deprivation of female sexual contact that led him into a dark realm in which there will be none to be had at all. Now his quest ends in most ignominious defeat.