Disgraced former British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who ignored credible reports that one of his lieutenants would drink too much and grab other guys’ dicks, on Sunday announced he wouldn’t be running again for the premiership. “I believe I am well placed to deliver a Conservative victory in 2024 – and tonight I can confirm that I have cleared the very high hurdle of 102 nominations, including a proposer and a seconder, and I could put my nomination in tomorrow. There is a very good chance that I would be successful in the election with Conservative Party members – and that I could indeed be back in Downing Street on Friday. But in the course of the last days I have sadly come to the conclusion that this would simply not be the right thing to do. You can’t govern effectively unless you have a united party in parliament,” wrote Johnson on Telegram.