Categories
Uncategorized

Secret Service gives up on finding White House cokehead

Sources within the Secret Service tell CNN they’ve concluded their investigation into Cocainegate and, as they warned given the traffic at the location within the White House, have been unable to identify the suspect who dropped a baggie of Colombian snow in the West Wing.

MAGA Congressman Tim Burchett also confirmed the same to CNN Capitol Hill reporter Manu Raju as he left the House Oversight committee’s briefing with Secret Service officials. “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” said Burchett, plainly disappointed they didn’t tell him it was definitely Hunter or Joe Biden who was walking around with the nose candy.

The AP followed up and reports Secret Service investigators were unable to obtain any fingerprints or DNA from the bag. Not to go all “Blue Anon” here but that detail makes it all too easy to imagine that someone with an agenda might’ve made sure that there was nothing traceable on the bag when dropping it in a conspicuous place in the Biden White House. Some low-level fifth columnist with business there but otherwise personally in league with some James O’Keefe types who knows that a lack of conclusion keeps the story hanging in the air for the MAGA media complex.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

4 hours ago

Hungarian Nazi enthusiast named to National Security post

5 hours ago

We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

6 hours ago

Hedge fund manager going to play with a lot more people’s money

7 hours ago

Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October

8 hours ago

Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

10 hours ago

Top German conservative activist dies at 96

10 hours ago

Guy who can’t get webcasts to work interested in buying MSNBC

11 hours ago

Texas Supreme Court gets Ken Paxton out of a jam

13 hours ago

Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

15 hours ago

Judge Merchan indefinitely postpones Trump sentencing

15 hours ago

Mike Rogers not under consideration for FBI chief: Trump minion

16 hours ago

MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

16 hours ago

Tucker says he told Johnson to “check with Putin” on Ukraine aid

17 hours ago

Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

18 hours ago

Convicted California pedophile faces 740 years to life in prison

1 day ago

New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

1 day ago

“He was doing very well but, at the same time, did not want to be a distraction for the Administration”: Trump on Gaetz withdrawal

2 days ago

Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

2 days ago

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

2 days ago

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

2 days ago

Barrasso comes out in support of Pete Hegseth

2 days ago

Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

2 days ago

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

2 days ago

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

2 days ago

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

2 days ago

Out of control inflation: banana sells for $5 million

2 days ago

House Republicans lining up to sink Gaetz nomination

2 days ago

Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

2 days ago

Capitol rioter convicted of plotting to murder FBI agents

2 days ago

House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

2 days ago

Elon Musk got a lot done today

3 days ago

Orange Pharaoh rages over pushback to his shitty picks

3 days ago

Laken Riley’s killer convicted

3 days ago

Bald asshole former acting AG gets NATO ambassador nod

3 days ago

Grindr user “SenatorPartySlut1776” complies with blackmail terms

3 days ago

Freeman and Moss ask judge to hold Rudy in contempt

3 days ago

Jaydee stuck trying to sell Senate GOP on Gaetz

3 days ago

Surprise! Bobby Jr bought into “plandemic” shit in 2020

3 days ago

Walmart CFO says they’re getting ready to jack up prices

3 days ago

US Embassy in Kyiv shuts down over anticipated Russian attack

3 days ago

AG-designate Gaetz helped pay $10K in tuition for two underprivileged sex workers, Committee investigation found

3 days ago

Wrestling executive to head US Education Department

3 days ago

Guy accused of battery who cheated on wife once wrote of one’s “moral responsibility” while at Ivy League. (No, the other guy)

3 days ago

SpaceX landing aborted with Donald watching

3 days ago

Senate approves RFK takeover

3 days ago

Mehmet Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid for Trump Reich

3 days ago

Deeply unstable woman continues ranting about trans Dem-elect

3 days ago

Fatass demands GOP stop Dems from appointing judges

4 days ago

Manhattan DA won’t let Trump go without a fight

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x