“Denmark’s government has proposed purchasing two new Arctic inspection vessels and increasing dog sled patrols to boost its military presence in Greenland, as US President-elect Donald Trump sets his sights on the island, local media reported. The government has also proposed upgrading the airport in Kangerlussuaq, a former US military base in western Greenland, to accommodate F-35 fighter jets, broadcasters DR and TV2 said on Friday,” says the lede to an actual Reuters story.

Copied that verbatim to present the raw absurdity of all this, in which the dog sled patrols is the most straight-to-DVD “comedy” movie script element. Like what the actual fuck do they think is going to happen if the convicted felon orders an attack? It’ll be a few hundred Navy SEALs and MARSEC Marines storming into Nuuk in the middle of the night and taking control of the local government, setting up a crackerjack puppet regime Denmark will be forced to recognize. Then days later the “legitimate” Greenlandic government would sign the island’s sovereignty over to US.

It will be over very quickly IF Trump is serious about seizing the island. The US military is literally already on the ground there and for all we know the manpower needed to take Nuuk is stationed at Thule this very moment. Any Danish efforts at “deterrence,” even the fucking dog sled teams, are probably just going to antagonize the fat bastard – or worse, his cult. It takes some imagination, but not a lot, to see how some MAGA bravos would on their own attempt to seize Nuuk and declare it a sovereign territory of the US, hold the city hostage with the help of local collaborators until either the Danes or the locals sign some sort of capitulation and then for Trump to endorse it.

And this is all assuming that Danish suzerainty over Greenland would still be in effect. If they’re an officially independent nation in a few months then it gets even easier for the Orange Caesar.