Obviously feeling more than a little stung by the MAGA base’s reaction to his somber admission that all evidence suggests Jeffrey Epstein really did kill himself in 2019, conspiracy podcaster-turned-FBI Assistant Director Dan Bongino on Monday announced that the bureau would be opening new investigations into the 2022 leak of the Dobbs Supreme Court ruling that overturned Roe V Wade and the time in 2023 when some dumbass left a small bag of cocaine in a coat check in the Biden White House, Reuters reports on Bongino’s panicked efforts to quell the outrage from his own team.

“Shortly after swearing in, the Director and I evaluated a number of cases of potential public corruption that, understandably, have garnered public interest. We made the decision to either re-open, or push additional resources and investigative attention, to these cases. These cases are the DC pipe bombing investigation, the cocaine discovery at the prior administration’s White House, and the leak of the Supreme Court Dobbs case. I receive requested briefings on these cases weekly and we are making progress. If you have any investigative tips on these matters that may assist us then please contact the FBI,” Bongino wrote in the middle of a lengthy tweet, adding “In response to feedback, both positive and negative, from our interview last week we will be releasing more information which will further clarify answers to some of the questions asked in the interview,” lol.

The outcome of the “additional resources and investigative attention” being applied to the Biden White House cocaine saga in particular ought to be interesting and, similarly to the Epstein situation, proooobably going to end up a contrast with his earlier assertions about the bag’s disposition.

It was found outside of a security checkpoint, genius pic.twitter.com/Z8O4AIvNPw

— National Zero (@NationalZeroUSA) July 5, 2023

“@dbongino has blocked you You can view public posts from @dbongino, but you are blocked from engaging with them. You also cannot follow or message @dbongino,” the now-FBI Assistant Director’s Twitter page has said when viewed by @nationalzerousa’s account since July 5, 2023.