The 15-D chessmaster has executed yet another quantum superpositional exploit of the weakened kingside pawn metastructure with a textbook preliminary h6 tachyonic pawn storm, the maestro a thunderously breathtaking accelerando in measure 47 of a syncopated arpeggiate passage, the hunter a most devious snare laid for his hapless quarry. It is a quintuple-axle pirouette within a haiku within a Manhattan Project within a pick-six wheel route within a filigree glass chrysanthemum.

To behold Politico’s article “On Crime, Trump has Democrats Right Where He Wants Them” is to behold such ethereal transcendence. Such nigh-alchemical virtuoso. Such celestial luminosity.

Voici enfin cette illumination sublime qui saisit l’esprit devant le génie à l’œuvre – cette extase ineffable de la reconnaissance artistique! Humility, thy vaporous tendrils hath such florid essence, a glowing sweetness of enticing purity! Quake ye laymen, quake all before thou colossus!

“If the president’s recent escalation was an attempt to goad Democrats into declaring that crime isn’t a problem, they did not disappoint him,” writes Politico’s Rachel Bade in a fugue state, rendered a mere vessel, an automaton scribe whose higher functions were cascaded with awe of he.

Ahem. Just going to leave the old satire tag out of this one. Probably even could’ve just pasted in the first few paragraphs of the article and pretended it was parody of a Politico piece.