Asked to comment on the 57.2 to 42.8 percent defeat of Trump-endorsed Patriot Mobile exec Leigh Wambsganss in Saturday’s state Senate runoff against Dem Taylor Rehmet, Texas MAGA Congressman Pete Sessions at first blamed the massive winter storm that scarcely affected the Dallas-Ft Worth area six days earlier as a ding against turnout. Then, probably realizing that was stupid, brought up some shit about how there had been another Republican in the race – but also realized that was also stupid because it was a runoff and there were only two candidates on the ballot. Finally, he sort of kind of owned up to the fact that it wasn’t a good look for the party.
Pennsylvania Senator Dave McCormick, freezing his balls off at -2° F “Gobbler’s Knob” (lol) in Punxsatawney, didn’t get the memos from Sessions and instead just admitted it wasn’t a good look.
BUT the American people are going to be so much happier economically in the next few months, according to McCormick, who also expressed fear for the lives of precious cupcake ICE agents, who should never have to reveal their faces or wear badges with their names on them.