Categories
Uncategorized

The “Real QAnon” really knocks PBS forum intro out of the park

Well actually it was just okay… What would've worked better is if Ron Watkins had said "Hello Arizona, my name is Ron Watkins and I'm running to represent you in Congress. It's truly an honor to be here before you today to tell you my story. There's not much to it really, I'm an Army brat who moved around a lot as a kid, my parents divorced when I was a teenager, and my dad's a businessman who started a porn site designed specifically to help Japanese users circumvent that country's censorship laws which prohibit the display of vaginas. I moved to the Philippines to work for my old man and learn the ropes of cutting-edge vagina-display internet technologies. From there he and I expanded this business into hosting for other porn sites, anime sites, and anime porn sites. Through that we came across a misguided but ultimately good natured teenager with a severe disability and conned him into giving us control of 8chan, the forum site he founded."

"When some South African asshole on 8chan decided to start acting like he was a secret government agent with inside knowledge of a hidden war President Donald Trump was waging against a cabal of satanic pedophiles and was gaining a lot of followers with it, I stole that guy's account from him and took over pretending to be what you now know as 'QAnon'. From there my shitposting inspired millions to join an apocalyptic cult for which many violent acts, including a toddler and an infant killed by their own father with a spearfishing gun, have been at least partially attributed to. Two members of Congress from Georgia and Arizona openly subscribe to the belief system for which I am the genesis, with dozens more also giving it credence with varying degrees of subtlety, all of them sent to DC by MAGA voters just like you. So why the fuck wouldn't you want the genuine article, people?!? I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE, Q IN THE FLESH BROS! VOTE WATKINS!"

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

WATCH LIVE: Trump’s supplicants try to spin his stupidity

3 hours ago

Ketamine Brain rage quits gaming stream over heckling

6 hours ago

Flight from New York City to Milan, Italy turns around after four hours after passenger freaks out over goddamned inflight meal

7 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Fat bastard’s stupid NASCAR event

21 hours ago

Treasury Suckretary not willing to comment on Trump capitulation

22 hours ago

Wisconsin post-mortem poll quantifies Musk’s suckery

1 day ago

Apple and Orange

1 day ago

Chicoms bump retaliatory tariff up to 84 percent

1 day ago

State Department situationally flexible on free speech

1 day ago

Former Mets pitcher among 44 killed in Dominican club collapse

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Filthy man hypes filthy fuel

2 days ago

Krazy Karoline confirms 104 percent tariff on Chinese imports

2 days ago

Bondi flees reporter to escape hole in circular logic

2 days ago

“Whatever”

2 days ago

CREW sues over Trump regime’s takedown of spending database

2 days ago

Stephen A Smith caught masturbating in front of audience

2 days ago

“DOGE AI” appears to have gotten some tweaks

2 days ago

Wisconsin Trump voter Brad Bartell bails wife out of ICE lockup

2 days ago

ChiComs say they’re ready to “fight to the end”

3 days ago

Orange Warlord does little end zone dance over fascism win

3 days ago

Senator Grandma says it’s Fat Donald’s economy now

3 days ago

Baby ducklings rescued from Vancouver, Washington highway

3 days ago

Hedge fund douchebag says US probably in a recession already

3 days ago

Netanyahu still at White House

3 days ago

The version of you in the other timeline is so fucking lucky

3 days ago

White House cancels Trump-Netanyahu press conference

3 days ago

Your “no shit” story of the day from the friendly folks at Axios

3 days ago

Meth-head guns stolen 2007 Hyundai Elantra’s engine to 100 mph

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Legendary baseball organization self-debases

3 days ago

Fat fucking idiot ups the ante with another 50 percent on China

3 days ago

Team Orange petitions Supreme Court on Abrego Garcia case

3 days ago

Regime rapidly responds to apparent false alarm

3 days ago

Stocks rebound as Trump considers 90-day pause, except China

3 days ago

S&P 500 enters bear territory

3 days ago

Breitbart reports “THE GREAT RESHORING” underway as “Major garment producer Bangladesh says US buyers halting orders”

3 days ago

Ketamine Brain getting into Friedman and the “Panican Party”

3 days ago

Jamie Dimon then and now

3 days ago

Doug Burgum a bitchy, abusive diva

3 days ago

“Not acknowledging my warning”

3 days ago

Orange Hitler dreams of sending US citizens to Bukele’s dungeon

4 days ago

Fat Nero insists he’ll be vindicated “some day”

4 days ago

Dow futures a precurse ofth greate doome fore merchantes

4 days ago

MAGA Land celebrates (or non-celebrates) “Liberation Day”

4 days ago

Team Orange’s “everything thing will be fine” blitz didn’t go so fine

4 days ago

Three USAID workers DOGEd while on the ground in Myanmar

4 days ago

“Well, I mean that – come on Jake… Whatever. Listen…”

4 days ago

At least 16 dead in storms across South and Midwest

4 days ago

Justice Department lawyer placed on leave for admitting to judge Trump Reich violated lawful court order in deporting Abrego Garcia

5 days ago

WSJ shades DJT

5 days ago

Message from the Fuhrerbunker on the 7th hole

5 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x