Ohio Senate hopeful JD Vance wants to save possible future colleague Ted Cruz's family from pornography, according to a 2021 interview newly unearthed by the Huffington Post. "I think the combination of porn, abortion have basically created a lonely, isolated generation that isn't getting married, they're not having families, and they're actually not even totally sure how to interact with each other," said Vance to "Crisis Magazine" in 2021. Although he wasn't naming names, the implication that Vance wants to save Ted Cruz specifically was obvious.
After all, if Vance wants to set American men on a righteous moral path if elected, then where else would be a better place to start than with his future coworkers? Vance should take it further and pledge to voters that he'll become Cruz's recovery coach, constantly monitoring his internet use and ensuring the Texas Senator is safe from the wicked temptations of "Reality Kings".