Think back a few months ago when the news broke of Republican former Missouri Governor Eric Greitens’ divorce papers containing some pretty damning episodes of abusive behavior inflicted on his wife and son. We were all obviously disgusted but not surprised considering that sick asshole’s history. There’s a reason he’s the former Governor, that the allegations of sexual assault and blackmail toward a woman he was having an affair with taken together with the corruption was beyond the pale even in a hardcore MAGA state like Missouri during the Trump era.
Greitens had however by earlier this year “rehabilitated” his image with the state’s Republican voters and was considered a serious threat to win the nomination amid a field of mostly assclowns including “Get off my lawn” guy Mark McCloskey and fat moron Congressman Billy Long. It was only through Mitch McConnell’s successful effort to recruit current Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt and Trump’s indecision over who to back culminating in a lame 11th hour endorsement of “ERIC” was a very real chance to lose what should be a safe GOP seat averted.
But what if Greitens’ ex-wife had held off on submitting that affidavit for a few months? That was the only thing that held Trump back from fully endorsing the sick fuck. The Donald was apparently really close to doing it anyway even after the abuse allegations. Imagine if Greitens was already the nominee and that affidavit was reported last week? We would have already been talking about it in the same conversations as must-win Dem Senate pickups in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Probably even more likely than Ohio. Definitely after that. Instead in this universe we can’t even remember the Dem candidate’s name. She’s an heir to the Anheuser Busch, we know that much. It’s a sad statement when a member of the namesake to Missouri’s most famous hometown consumer brand has no chance, but here we are, banking on shitty GOP Senate candidates in other states to lose.
WE ARE WINNING! Here's why ⬇️
"These polls confirm that Missourians are ready for a Senator who will be laser-focused on stopping reckless spending, curbing energy costs, and defending our individual freedoms," said @Eric_Schmitt pic.twitter.com/caZY1fdA7z
— Team Schmitt for US Senate (@Schmitt4Senate) August 29, 2022
What are we lamenting here anyway though? The tragedy of child abuse not translating to electoral advantage for Democrats? That’s kind of fucked up, isn’t it? We can tell ourselves that it happened five years ago and what’s done is done, sure. That it occurred but that it’s reporting was mistimed to our dreams of enough Dem Senators (plus a hold of the House majority) to abolish the filibuster and introduce sweeping democratic reforms to crush the currently intractable advantages enjoyed by Republicans in Congress and the Electoral College. The November election in Missouri would’ve been nothing but addition by subtraction for Dems: enough right-leaning suburban voters disgusted with Greitens checking the box for the Libertarian sealing it for Busch lady.
All said, justice was done politically. Greitens is unlikely to ever appear again on a ballot. His one opening for a Senate seat is gone, along with (likely) his career in Republican politics. He got what he deserved for his scumbaggery no matter what. We can be at peace with that while being honest with our disappointment over a missed opportunity, even if the real reason for it – a child being abused – feels terribly gross. We’re not going to go on some rampage acting like it was some kind of conspiracy that derailed what until the final stage of the primary campaign had been a clear path to a win for Greitens, even if it’s beyond dispute that Republicans benefitted from it.
It’s hard not to think on that – or other similar breaks, good and bad – after this:
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
1,953 4,331 Aug 29, 2022, 11:39
Set aside how this is complete bullshit and that the FBI merely warned Facebook that the laptop was at least partially a Russian disinformation attempt to swing the election to Trump. Set aside how Trump, Rudy, and John Solomon had already fucked up when they got Donald impeached over Hunter Biden and Ukraine, which meant that by October 2020 the media and the public had already long since learned to ignore stories about that “scandal.” Also set aside how suddenly the fanboys went from furious with Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg over the “Zuckerbucks” bullshit to taking what he said to Joe Rogan last week as gospel and blowing it up into “THE FBI RIGGED THE 2020 ELECTION FOR BIDEN,” because they lie about everything.
As we've said, nothing about the Hunter Biden laptop story is new. Below is what Mark told Sen. Johnson in Oct 2020 and what Mark told Joe Rogan this week. The FBI shared general warnings about foreign interference – nothing specific about Hunter Biden. https://t.co/pHtzvh6r0r
— Meta Newsroom (@MetaNewsroom) August 26, 2022
(Also skip that Trump is again kind of accidentally admitting he lost without any voter fraud, and the overall fucking insanity of his demanding a win by default or re-do almost two years later.)
Monday’s Truth Social rant is revealing even by Trump’s standards. The utter nihilism and deep contempt for voters who were supposed to be persuadable is something to marvel at here. Really he’s essentially saying “I should be declared the winner because the FBI pressured Mark Zuckerberg to throttle the Hunter laptop story.” The most batshit part is that Hunter Biden is actually now currently under federal criminal investigation. Joe Biden went so far as to not replace the Trump-appointed United States Attorney for the District of Delaware to avoid any appearance of impropriety with an active investigation. Fucking Trump fired the Director of the FBI less than four months after being inaugurated to prevent an investigation into himself and Biden allows a Republican prosecutor to stay on to investigate his son for any number of financial crimes.
Shouldn’t Trump and his fans be happy about that the same as liberals were when it was first reported that Matt Gaetz is under federal criminal investigation for sex trafficking? Isn’t the mere potential for consequences a welcome sugar rush in the political shitposting world?
It’s glaringly obvious the strategy behind Hunter-ghazi was not to get would-be Biden voters to switch to Trump, but a more cynical expectation that swing voters would say “Well they’re both corrupt so I’m not voting for either,” since the same kind of bullshit from the Trump kids was already priced in for Trump fans who were never not voting for him. It was addition by subtraction. Reduce turnout for Biden so Trump wins a second term. It was never more complicated than that. It’s also crystal clear that it was never about “justice” but political advantage.
But to all but literally acknowledge that openly is actually kind of shocking in a way. Trump’s saying he lost because his October Surprise was poorly executed, claiming (falsely) that the FBI defanged its reach on Facebook, which was unfair to him. “Trump would have easily won the 2020 Presidential Election,” he says in quotes himself. So he was going to to lose if that really fucking shady laptop situation had never happened in the first place? What kind of politician confident in his own brand would fucking say such a thing? If his fans had any capacity for introspection they should be besides themselves with rage for being let down like this.
Because it wasn’t the FBI or Facebook that failed them, it was Trump. He did it and he just admitted it. It shows nothing but malice and disrespect for them and they’ll never catch on.
If we were like the fanboys we would be mad at Eric Greitens’ ex-wife for being inconsiderate of the Democrats’ Senate majority when she sat down for a deposition in her divorce case and effectively ended her ex-husband’s political career, because we know the Dem doesn’t stand a chance in Missouri against Eric Schmitt. We can admit that and be not particularly proud of it even amid other less morally hazardous instances when we’ve been happily willing to play a zero sum game.
We can sleep better at night than a crazy asshole who posts “The Presidential Election was BADLY & IRREPARABLY TAINTED by the FBI’s FAKE description of the “Laptop from Hell” to Facebook & the LameStream Media – & for MANY other reasons as well. Declare the rightful winner, or hold a new Election, NOW! Our Country, which is failing badly, knows the “score,” and will never accept Criminal Election Interference. The FBI just fired its Special Agent In Charge of this outrageous & very illegal assault on the Constitution of the United States of America!” at 1:46 AM.