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“CHICAGO IS THE MURDER CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday morning, completely undermining his credibility on other matters with a far-too-easily falsifiable statement that does not feel true or “speak to a larger point” or whatever.

The murder capital of the world in absolutes would most likely go to Salvador, Brazil, at 986 dead in 2023 while per capita title would be Colima, Mexico, at 140 per 100,000 in 2024. Domestically, while Chicago typically has the highest absolute number of homicides annually at 573 murders in 2024, the rate is a third that of the actual murder capital of the US, which is St Louis at 87.2 in 2025, more than triple that of Chicago at 28.7 so far this year, ranking 7th among American cities.

You will not be surprised to learn that Michael Velchik, the Trump Justice Department lawyer tasked with prosecuting the regime’s war on Harvard University who argued “let’s not give federal taxpayer dollars to institutions that exhibit a wanton indifference to antisemitism” in court in July, is an alum who in 2011 wrote a paper from the perspective of Adolf Hitler, the Boston Globe reports.

The paper was an exercise in Velchik’s Latin language course in which students were asked to write from the perspective of a controversial figure, per the Globe, who write that “Velchik’s choice of Hitler so unnerved the instructor that he was asked to redo the assignment.” Then, about 18 months later after he had gotten his BA and was preparing to enter Harvard Law School, the now-MAGA lawyer wrote that he enjoyed “Mein Kampf” more than any other book he’d recently read.

Hitler “certainly excelled as an orator, and his writing reflects oratory,” Velchik, described as a bowtie-wearing dork, wrote. “Understands the importance of propaganda. Thought that the timing of a speech was important: better late at night!” The Globe notes that they interviewed Velchik’s former boss and fellow Ivy League-alum fascist Senator Josh Hawley before they learned about the young lad’s Hitler fetish. “I never found that there was an issue Michael could not get up to speed on in an extremely brief period of time,” Hawley said. “He has an encyclopedic mind.”

Zero people were killed as a confused elderly terrorist drove his golf cart into the produce section of a Winn-Dixie in The Villages, Florida on Sunday, per Villages-News. Police did not respond and the terrorist’s vehicle was escorted out of the premises without further incident.

Krazy Karoline tells Fox News White House Correspondent Jacqui Heinrich that “the President will be making an exciting announcement related to the Department of Defense,” at 2 PM EDT on Tuesday this being the potentially gravely ill old bastard’s first public press availability in a week after his rambling, tedious, and very stupid three-and-a-half-hour cabinet meeting last Tuesday.

The fat fuck is probably going to announce and executive order renaming the Department of Defense back to its pre-1947 name of the Department of War, something he all-but-certainly cannot do by unilateral fiat but like with the “Gulf of America” will simply try to impose his will anyway.

Nestle CEO Laurent Freixe has been abruptly fired just under a year at the helm of the candy giant for being too sweet on an unnamed employee, CNBC reports without any sexual/sugar innuendos.

“This was a necessary decision. Nestle’s values and governance are strong foundations of our company. I thank Laurent for his years of service. We are not changing course on strategy and we will not lose pace on performance,” said Chairman Paul Bulcke in a statement. “A CEO who fucks around with employees will not stop us from developing the Everlasting Gobstopper, the wonder candy that never, ever, ever loses flavor no matter how much you suck on it,” Bulcke did not add.

Taking the hint that the party’s gerontocracy problem requires less talk and more doing something about it – specifically from the people positioned to do something about it before they die in office and pad the GOP’s majority as no fewer than three Dem did this year – Manhattan Congressman Jerry Nadler, 78, tells the New York Times he’s hanging it up and won’t run again in 2026.

“Watching the Biden thing really said something about the necessity for generational change in the party, and I think I want to respect that,” Nadler said, adding that a younger successor “can maybe do better, can maybe help us more,” than he could in an 18th term in the House of Representatives.

Asked by some Daily Caller chode if he’s worried about the steadily decreasing American support for Israel, convicted felon President Trump said “Yeah I’m aware of it. So, Israel is amazing, because, you know, I have good support from Israel. I have. Look, nobody has done more for Israel than I have, including the recent attacks with Iran, wiping that thing out. We, that plane, wiped them out like nobody ever saw before. You know, we got back and CNN was trying to say ‘well, maybe it wasn’t complete,’ and it turned out totally complete, beyond complete. But when, if you go back 20 years. I mean, I will tell you, Israel had the strongest lobby in Congress of anything or body, or of any company or corporation or state that I’ve ever seen. Israel was the strongest.”

“Today, it doesn’t have that strong a lobby. It’s amazing,” Trump added, not sounding all the concerned because he never actually gave a shit about Israel so much as the image of giving a shit.

“A federal grand jury returned an indictment Tuesday charging a Canadian citizen with illegally registering to vote and voting in federal elections in 2022 and 2024. ‘Every single time a noncitizen casts an illegal vote in North Carolina, it steals and nullifies the vote of an actual citizen,’ said US Attorney Ellis Boyle. ‘If the records are correct, this Canadian citizen appears to have voted in New Hanover and Pender County elections over the past 20 years. We intend to prove his illegal conduct in court and put an end to it,'” says an Eastern District of North Carolina press release.

“According to the indictment, Denis Bouchard, 69, falsely claimed to be a US citizen to vote in federal elections, including the most recent 2024 presidential election. Bouchard, who has resided in the United States since the 1960s, never obtained US citizenship. Despite his status as an alien, Bouchard certified that he was a US citizen on voter registration applications in 2022 and 2024, when he cast a ballot in the 2024 presidential election and 2022 congressional election. Bouchard is charged with two counts of 18 USC. § 1015(f) and two counts of 52 USC § 20511(2)(B). If convicted, he faces a maximum penalty of five years imprisonment on each count,” the press release continued.

It did not say who he voted for in either election, but a Facebook profile listing a Denis Bouchard living in Wilmington, North Carolina shows a man of about that age in a profile pic. Another profile pic is a meme saying “ALL THESE WOMEN HAVE ACCUSED BIDEN OF SEXUAL ASSAULT [various women] SHARE TO SHOW A BIDEN VOTER WHO HE IS.” Among the memes on his “newsfeed” is one that says “Democrats are suddenly worried that Iranian terror sleeper cells will now attack the USA from within. The same Democrats who let them all in. The same Democrats who want you to be unarmed,” misidentifying the party that was propagating fears of Iranian retaliation following the Orange God Emperor’s only partially effective bombing of Tehran’s nuclear facilities in June.

“At 0852 the president came out the South Portico entrance and walked the 20 or so feet into his waiting SUV. Pool photographers had a narrow view from about 100 yards away between his SUV and the one behind it through which to get earn their keep. At 0853 the motorcade is moving,” says the White House press pool report from Monday morning as the Orange God Emperor departed for his golf course in Virginia for the 21st time this year, per CBS’s Scott MacFarlane.

Team Orange might want need to expand that cordon if they don’t want to photogs to snap any pics of the bruising on the decrepit old bastard’s hands. Telephoto lenses are pretty solid these days.

A police officer in Livonia, Michigan last week successfully deployed a newfangled and very Batman-like grappling hook to stop suspects fleeing westbound on I-96, Michigan Live reports.

One small catch, per Livonia PD’s press release on the incident: “The Grappler is an innovative safety tool that deploys a high-strength net around a vehicle’s rear tire and axle, stopping it within seconds. In this case, after being stopped, the driver repeatedly attempted to break free by reversing and then accelerating forward. However, the Grappler held firm and because of the driver’s own actions, the vehicle’s rear axle was ripped off, permanently disabling the car.”

“This is not typical with Grappler deployments and was solely the result of the driver’s reckless attempts to escape,” the release continued as though they had to come up with something to acknowledge someone’s car was totaled and that was the best their PR team had.

Indian billionaire Mukesh Ambani’s family has postponed a planned September 12th “cultural showcase” at New York’s Lincoln Center, citing “unforeseen circumstances,” in response to convicted felon President Trump’s 50 percent tariffs on the country, the Straits Times reports.

It’s not clear how much of this was an Indian version of Shen-Yun but either way that’s how many millions of dollars for New York City’s economy that just got rug-pulled because the fat fuck is pissing everyone in the rest of the world off – that being said punishing India for buying Russian oil is the rare case of the fat fuck’s punitive tariffs being applied for a good enough reason.

Posted the Orange God Emperor on Monday: “What few people understand is that we do very little business with India, but they do a tremendous amount of business with us. In other words, they sell us massive amounts of goods, their biggest ‘client,’ but we sell them very little – Until now a totally one sided relationship, and it has been for many decades. The reason is that India has charged us, until now, such high Tariffs, the most of any country, that our businesses are unable to sell into India. It has been a totally one sided disaster! Also, India buys most of its oil and military products from Russia, very little from the US. They have now offered to cut their Tariffs to nothing, but it’s getting late. They should have done so years ago. Just some simple facts for people to ponder!!!”

It’s not clear if this was in response to the news of the cancelation. Who the hell knows.

“It is very important that the Drug Companies justify the success of their various Covid Drugs. Many people think they are a miracle that saved Millions of lives. Others disagree! With CDC being ripped apart over this question, I want the answer, and I want it NOW. I have been shown information from Pfizer, and others, that is extraordinary, but they never seem to show those results to the public.”

“Why not??? They go off to the next ‘hunt’ and let everyone rip themselves apart, including Bobby Kennedy Jr and CDC, trying to figure out the success or failure of the Drug Companies Covid work.”

“They show me GREAT numbers and results, but they don’t seem to be showing them to many others. I want them to show them NOW, to CDC and the public, and clear up this MESS, one way or the other!!! I hope OPERATION WARP SPEED was as ‘BRILLIANT’ as many say it was. If not, we all want to know about it, and why? Thank you for your attention to this very important matter!” posted a fat stupid fuck who understands nothing but is now acting like his fanboys will believe him when Big Pharma tells him whatever he wants to hear from them about COVID vaccines and treatments.

"This appears to be an attempt to shift the blame from Biden inflation onto Republicans."@ByronYork digs into the fine print of Democrats’ latest pitch to male voters — which includes blaming the GOP for higher beer prices. pic.twitter.com/MqpVYdnwdI

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) September 1, 2025

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer’s committee has withdrawn their subpoena with former FBI Director and Justice Department special counsel Robert Mueller after his family informed them the 81 year-old retired lawman is suffering from Parkinson’s disease and has difficulty speaking, the New York Times reports. Last month Paul Sperry from shitty right wing aggregator RealClearPolitics had reported that Mueller has been living in a “memory care facility,” so this is close enough.

“Bob was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in the summer of 2021. He retired from the practice of law at the end of that year. He taught at his law school alma mater during the fall of both 2021 and 2022, and he retired at the end of 2022. His family asks that his privacy be respected,” Mueller’s family said in a statement to the Times. Dipshit Comer had subpoenaed Mueller as part of his investigation into convicted felon President Trump’s dearly departed friend Jeffrey Epstein, for some reason believing the FBI Director at the time of the first case against Epstein in 2008 would have more information than Alex Acosta, the former US Attorney who actually fucking “prosecuted” the sex trafficker and later served as Trump’s Secretary of Labor, who was not among the subpoenaed.

Comer did subsequently announce that Acosta would sit for a “voluntary interview” in a press release that noticeably omitted whether the shitweasel would be answering questions under oath.

More than 800 people are dead after a 6.0 magnitude earthquake struck along Afghanistan’s eastern border with Pakistan late Sunday, the Wall Street Journal reports citing a Taliban minister.

At least another 2,500 were injured in the temblor which hit two rugged mountain provinces near the city of Jalalabad said Taliban spokesman Zabiullah Mujahid at a press conference. No serious damage or injuries were reported in adjacent areas of Pakistan, though a heat map of the intensity of the shaking by USGS shows it was indeed confined to a limited area inside of Afghan borders, likely an effect of the quake’s shallow 8 kilometer depth and the topographical barriers of the region.

Which means local to the epicenter the shaking was stronger than a 6.0 would imply – and that its waves were likely to have been amplified and refracted by the Hindu Kush mountains.

A suspected Russian interference attack disabled GPS navigation services at a Bulgarian airport and forced a plane carrying European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen to land at Plovdiv on Sunday using paper maps, the Financial Times reports in a hard-paywalled article.

“Prices are ‘WAY DOWN’ in the USA, with virtually no inflation. With the exception of ridiculous, corrupt politician approved ‘Windmills,’ which are killing every State and Country that uses them, Energy prices are falling, ‘big time.’ Gasoline is at many year lows. All of this despite magnificent Tariffs, which are bringing in Trillions of Dollars from Countries that took total advantage of us, for decades, and are making America STRONG and RESPECTED AGAIN!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday night, feeling extra dishonest just because the fancy struck.

Dog-murdering lamebrain DHS Security Kristi Noem on Sunday just casually made shit up about the impact of convicted felon President Trump’s pointless deployment of military troops to Los Angeles earlier this summer after some rowdy anti-ICE protests and got no pushback from CBS on it.

DC Federal Judge Sparkle Sooknanan (yeah there’s a judge named “Sparkle”) on Sunday blocked the Trump Regime from deporting 600 Guatemalan children aged 10 to 17 who arrived in the US as unaccompanied minors in the custody of the Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Refugee Resettlement who were to be flown out this morning, Politico reports on what the reich is up to on Labor Day weekend. Deporting orphans back to the impoverished nightmare they fled.

UPDATE 8/31/2025 11:47 AM EDT: Sooknanan moved up her scheduled afternoon hearing because she received notification that putative class members are in the process of being removed from the United States. The hearing previously set for August 31, 2025, at 3:00 pm in Courtroom 14 has been rescheduled to August 31, 2025, at 12:30 pm in Courtroom 14 before Judge Sparkle L Sooknanan.”