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Minnesota religious groups are demanding a federal judge hold ICE contempt after some fucking idiot agent dropped a recording device during a “boxing/sparring practice” in the gym of a Minneapolis church in May, the agent’s infiltration mission a clear breach of a February order by Judge Dennis Saylor IV barring such “investigative actions” at houses of worship, Politico reports.

The best part is the scumbag realized he dropped it and returned to the University Baptist Church three minutes later only to find the device gone, scooped up by a congregant. The other best part of this of course is the pearl-clutching and screaming meltdowns after Don Lemon accompanied those activists into that church run by the acting field director of ICE’s St Paul field office, that those libs had been violating the sanctity of a house of worship and all that shit only for ICE to turn around and try to infiltrate a pro-immigrant church. Hypocrisy’s the feature, not the bug of the MAGA Reich.

FBI agents acting on the orders of not an actual apolitical federal law enforcement professional executed warrants on disgraced fromer Congressman Eric Swalewell’s home and devices last weekend, Townhall reports on the investigation into Swalwell’s effing a Chinese spy that became public during the first Trump regime and nobody did anything about it back then.

Too bad being buddies with real estate whiz kids Jared Kushner and those other scumbags couldn’t help Saudi Prince Bonesaw’s multi-trillion project to build a city capped by twin 1,600 ft tall, 106 mile-wide skyscrapers across vast, hostile desert get out of the development phase.

A ridiculous new memo by the NRSC starts off by saying incumbent Ohio Republican Senator Jon Husted and Dem former Senator Sherrod Brown “are in a dead heat. Private polling has been consistent: when voters hear Brown’s positions and his record, Husted pulls away.”

Lol. Note the “private” added in there because Brown leads public polls. “That is still the path in this race. The new ingredient (and the new problem) is data centers. Ohio is one of the leaders in building these AI factories. Brown has made his opposition to them the centerpiece of his campaign against Husted. Brown is using it because it works. More than any other thing in this race, data centers are the anchor hanging around Husted’s neck. If he loses and data centers get the blame, politicians across the country will take notice – and they will not go near the next one.”

“THE DATA CENTER BRAND IS THE ANCHOR: Data centers are the centerpiece in the case Sherrod Brown is litigating; he has made them his de facto opponent, and no one is correcting the record. Brown has put three unique television ads on the air and spent millions doing it, to the tune of more than 6,000 points on television. This is more than a month’s worth of messaging during one of the most critical times in the race. Our polling indicates that this messaging is significantly more effective than traditional messaging tracts, as it introduces new information on a highly relevant, emerging topic. This has become a sleeper issuefor the entire election cycle. WHAT HAS TO HAPPEN: Campaigns or party committees can not fix the toxic brand of an entire segment of the economy,” the memo to tech company PR team urging them to do something, anything continued.

“No one has given the Islamic Republic of Iran a greater opportunity to make a Deal than me. TRAGICALLY, for them, they have failed to take it. Therefore, today, I am announcing the MOST CRUSHING ECONOMIC OPERATION EVER TAKEN AGAINST ANY COUNTRY! This will be Economic Warfare and Isolation on an unprecedented scale. Their navy is gone, their air force is destroyed, their military factories are now rubble, their currency is worthless, and their country is hanging by a thread. Today, I am also announcing that ANY country that allows its financial institutions, businesses, airports, or government entities to provide any type of lifeline to Iran will itself face TREMENDOUS Economic Consequences. Oil smuggling, swap lines, cash transfers, exchange houses, ship registries, front companies – It all needs to stop NOW. You know who you are.”

“This will be an ECONOMIC D-DAY, and we need all of our Allies to stand with the United States of America to isolate, and defeat, the Iran threat. These maniacs are on the ropes, and these HISTORIC MEASURES will cripple them and their ability to project terror worldwide. IRAN WILL NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON,” posted the toughest president ever on Wednesday, not explaining why he didn’t already do all this shit months ago if it’s going to be so effective against Iran, lol.

“I told Congressman Cory Mills of Florida, a friend of mine, to get out of the Race, but he wouldn’t listen. He thought he could win, so who can blame him? We now have a great candidate, Ryan Elijah, running in his place! Ryan stands for EVERYTHING MAGA, and is respected by ALL. He has my Complete and Total Endorsement!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday after yet another one of his most loyal fanatics, the complete and total domestic abuser Mills, went down.

In Alaska, the fake, dirty-trick Dan Sullivan finished in third place and made it to the general election. https://t.co/4VIU0kgYqV pic.twitter.com/WH4pVYZVeF

— Byron York (@ByronYork) August 19, 2026

Former Congressional bad boy Madison Cawthorn pulled in 8.5 percent of the vote on Tuesday night in the Florida 19th GOP primary, per the AP, placing third in his comeback bid in another state, a pathetic showing made all the more tragic by the fact that the other MAGA asshole who defeated him in 2022, Chuck Edwards, dropped his reelection bid over sexual harassment.

Fox Newsbro Jessie Watters on Tuesday told viewers he’s “hearing” scumbag Florida MAGA Congressman Cory Mills lost his primary, denying Dems a pickup opportunity for his seat.

Shasta County, California, a far-right jurisdiction already kind of famous across the MAGAverse for its codified election denialism with moves such as ending its contract with Dominion and then simply not switching to a new vendor in 2023, is taking halfway to the next level by welcoming convicted felon former Mesa County, Colorado clerk Tina Peters to the team, the Guardian reports.

That “halfway to the next level” qualifier is there to denote a condition that clerk Clint Curtis placed on her role as the Guardian writes that Curtis has “said Peters would not have access to the county’s voting system” but otherwise “did not directly respond when asked what her responsibilities would be.” Yeah. It’s like if the Sinaloa Cartel hired Juan Orlando Hernandez but said outright that he wouldn’t have a login to their cocaine distribution software. Or RuPaul hired George Santos but said he wouldn’t have a key to the wig closet and has to wear a suit to work on the “Drag Race” show.

Maybe there’s a better analogue out there. Plus those two assholes were freed from federal prison by convicted felon President Trump whereas Peters was released from her sometimes tumultuous stay in a Centennial State DOC big house thanks to outgoing Dem Governor Jared Polis’s bafflingly chickenshit capitulation to a pressure campaign from the Orange God Emperor. Maybe people should’ve seen the Peters commutation coming when Polis ordered staffers to take down that hilarious (and possibly intentionally) awful portrait of Donald from the state capitol last year.

“There are no talks or conversations going on, or scheduled, with the Islamic Republic of Iran. The Naval Blockade remains in full force and effect. The Hormuz Strait is open and operating. All water mines have been removed or detonated,” posted the Holy Lord of Peace and Prosperity on Tuesday.

The top reply to the 21st century Jesus’s post is a meme that reads “We had a choice between a nuclear armed Iran or a temporary spike in gas prices. And since some of you can’t decide if you’re a man or a woman, Trump made the decision for you,” in white text against a generic starry background. Wasn’t worth mentioning for any reason besides that this is what passes for a “banger” meme these days, the killer lib-owning quip tucked in under the grudging admission of reality intruding upon the alternate one MAGAmerica lives in. Must really suck for them these days.

🚨 EXCLUSIVE: OpenAI is launching ChatGPT for Teens — a dedicated, learning-focused experience with enhanced safeguards.

Key details announced on Fox & Friends:

Study Mode: Instead of giving away direct answers, ChatGPT asks follow-up questions to help students learn.

Parental… pic.twitter.com/L504FwbS5H

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) August 18, 2026

Probably a surefire sign that it’s designed to brainwash them into MAGAism that goddamned Fox and Friends gets the “exclusive” on the new “clanker” model aimed at teenagers.

Disney-owned national TV network ABC on Tuesday filed a federal First Amendment lawsuit against the Federal Communications Commission, alleging the agency and its incel leader Brendan Carr have “waged a retaliatory campaign against ABC for a single reason: it disapproves of what ABC broadcasts,” CNN media chief Brain Stelter reports. “Plaintiffs come to this court reluctantly with no alternative means to eliminate these ongoing and immediate threats other than total capitulation to the administration’s demands,” the complaint continued as Disney finally grew some balls.

“ALASKA: Be careful, VOTE FOR THE REAL DAN SULLIVAN TODAY. Through me, he’s brought HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS OF DOLLARS BACK TO YOUR STATE. The Dumocrats know how good he is and have put up an imposter of the same name. Vote for the ‘INCUMBENT SENATOR.’ Don’t let these Fraudsters get away with this HOAX,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday.

Speaking of cosmetics: Who in God’s name needs to be fired for that eyeliner job? Holy shit, lol.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth on Monday headed out to the battlefield to help boost morale among those fighting to contain a dangerous threat from the enemy that’s expected to only grow increasingly more perilous over the next few months, with the top leader of the US military’s schedule taking him to a number of frontline posts scattered across an impoverished hinterland full of violent religious fanatics who wish to destroy democracy and inflict widespread suffering.

Per CBS News, one of Hegseth’s stops in Iowa will be at a campaign event for Congressman Zach Nunn, an Air Force Reserve colonel who faces a serious threat from Dem challenger state Senator Sarah Trone Garriott, and thus totally appropriate for the Secretary of Defense to help defend an endangered Republican incumbent. Plus he’s a military officer so the campaign event can be military themed with a lot of pledges of allegiance and salutes from men in camo cargo shorts.

Since they’re CBS News and would’ve written “It is highly unusual for a current defense secretary to campaign for candidates. Previous secretaries rarely if ever attended events for candidates while defense secretary,” even if they hadn’t been hijacked by wealthy fascists, that watered-down MSM pablum is as close to the article gets as a “subjective” remark on the visit. The national network then cited zero examples to support the assertion of “unusual” versus “first time it happened.”

Hosting some 16 year-old lifeguard who saved someone from drowning recently, convicted felon President Trump on Monday used the Oval Office occasion to embarrass the United States of America, claiming variously that voluminous accounts of horrible conditions being suffered by sailors stationed on the USS Abraham Lincoln are a “CNN fake news report,” that he should be able to build a ballroom on the White House ground because a communist dictatorship has a “Great Hall of China,” and said “Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. CNN, fake news. You’re fake news. You’re a loud – You’re a loud, boisterous person. You’re fake news. Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. You’re a fake reporter and you report fake news,” angrily to a reporter who dared to ask Trump about why he was surrendering to obese North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Must’ve been an exciting day for the kid.