Category: Uncategorized

Soyboys, MAGA slang for sensitive little socialist wieners who cannot stand President Trump’s America First policies, are running to the leftist rag the New York Times to cry for help.

Josh and Jordan Gackle, two soyboys from North Dakota, complain that President Trump’s trade war – which is all about putting American workers first and fentanyl dealers last by cutting off their supply – is hurting them because they can’t get any dirty money from the Chinese communists anymore. “The stress level is much higher now than it was then,” said Jordan as he stood in front of his soy field. “If we keep this going for very long, then we are going to see the kind of foreclosures that were happening. All of it is unnecessary. The US was not forced into this by anybody.”

Other soyboy Justin Sherlock, who was complaining about Trump to woke NPR six months ago, still needs his cry closet. “I feel like we’re out of time. If we don’t get a deal in the next few weeks, I think this turns what is hopefully a one-year problem into a multiyear problem,” Sherlock said, whining that he and his fellow soyboys will lose big this year without Chinese money – or socialist handouts from the government – will screw them going forward. “Are we going to lose a generation of farmers because of the trade war? I think that’s what we’re fast approaching.” Fuck you feelings soyboy.

A Zambian court on Monday sentenced two allies of dead ex-President Edgar Lungu to two years in the joint for casting spells against Lungu’s hated longtime rival and successor President Hakainde Hichilema, the BBC reports. Jasten Mabulesse Candunde, 42, and Leonard Phiri, 43, were hired by Lungu minion Nelson Banda – brother of fugitive former lawmaker Jay Banda, who escaped from a hospital last year – to sacrifice small animals as part of a ritual to hex Hichilema and kill him.

“It is my considered view that the convicts were not only the enemy of the head of state but were also enemies of all Zambians… The two accepted ownership of the charms. Phiri further demonstrated that the chameleon’s tail, once pricked and used in the ritual, would cause death to occur within five days,” magistrate Fine Mayambu said in his ruling, later stressing that whether or not it actually worked – obviously it didn’t – was besides the point. “The question is not whether the accused are wizards or actually possess supernatural powers. It is whether they represented themselves as such, and the evidence clearly shows they did,” Mayambu told the courtroom.

The trial was the first ever prosecution for politically-motivated witchcraft, but the law against such practices dates back to 1914, during British colonial rule. Smart move keeping that on the books.

Former Southern District of New York Assistant US Attorney Maurene Comey on Monday filed a federal lawsuit against the MAGA Department of Justice, arguing that her termination “was designed to retaliate against her based on her familial relation as the daughter of James B Comey, or because of her perceived political affiliation and beliefs, or both. No other plausible explanation exists for her termination – and certainly none was provided,” noting that it only happened after a Laura Loomer tweet and seeks compensation for lost wages plus reinstatement to her post at the district.

The first defense motion in this one ought to be pretty freaking funny, unless they’re not even gonna bother with the why and try some bland bureaucratese to say the Orange God Emperor has every right to fire her because something something Article II powers Trump can do whatever he wants.

https://t.co/Mx1zK4fhCe

— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) September 15, 2025

The Tyler Robinson Foundation, founded in 2013 “by the Grammy Award-winning band Imagine Dragons in honor of their friend and fan, Tyler, who tragically lost his battle with cancer at the age of 17,” held their annual gala in Las Vegas on Friday night and, uh, well luckily it doesn’t seem like any Charlie Kirk fans showed up to protest the very unfortunately-timed annual fundraiser given that it was held just hours after a certain other Tyler Robinson was arrested in neighboring Utah.

Would be a hell of a shame if the organization has to change their name just because some other guy got more famous. Also, as freaking dull Imagine Dragons they deserve credit for leading such a noble and also straightforward mission for the charity: supporting the non-medical needs of young cancer patients and their families. Takes a lot more sentences to explain whatever Bono does.

“In the span of four months, three federal departments have contracted to create enormous political banners. Two contracts were for large banners of Donald Trump’s portrait that were hung outside the Departments of Agriculture and Labor. A third previously undiscovered federal solicitation is for 88-foot signs to be hung on the Department of Health and Human Services to promote Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr’s presidential campaign slogan ‘Make America Healthy Again.’ A review of contracting documents indicates that the signs are being made at the public’s expense, with the first three signs costing at least $50,000 in taxpayer funds and the full cost yet to be determined.”

“This pattern of contracts suggests an unprecedented and coordinated effort by the Executive Branch to use federal funds to glorify and pay tribute to a sitting US President and his political agenda, despite a longstanding legal prohibition against the use of federal funds for propaganda and self-aggrandizement purposes. In addition to wasting taxpayer funds, these banners mimic self-aggrandizing banners, billboards, and other propaganda promoted by dictators abroad. They also serve as a stark visual manifestation of measures President Trump and his administration aretaking to consolidate power and control that are antithetical to American democracy. EXECUTIVE SUMMARY The Trump Administration is spending taxpayer funds on political banners hung on federal office buildings in the style of totalitarian dictators,” says the intro to a new report by California Senator Adam Schiff, pointing to a 1951 law prohibiting such expenditures on propaganda.

.@FBIDDBongino: "There appear to have been multiple warning signs… this investigation has just begun." pic.twitter.com/iRyqSII1NZ

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) September 15, 2025

Yeah, great idea to go out there saying there were warning signs from Charlie Kirk’s assassin before he pulled the trigger as though this was a total black swan and the bureau up until earlier this year had a pretty core mission of monitoring certain online channels for signs of violent radicalism until those agents were either purged for having investigated MAGA radicals and/or their maniacal leader or were reassigned to track down migrants and patrol the streets of DC like beat regular cops.

Not saying that the FBI definitely 100 percent could have prevented Kirk’s murder but given that unfalsifiability is a core epistemological tenet of the MAGA propaganda cult you can seriously go fuck yourself if at any point between January 20, 2021 and January 20, 2025 you unironically said ANYTHING like “This never would have happened if Trump was still president” whenever some tragedy occurred or there was bad economic news or Chick-fil-A ran out of sauce and so on.

“Subject to SEC Approval, Companies and Corporations should no longer be forced to ‘Report’ on a quarterly basis (Quarterly Reporting!), but rather to Report on a ‘Six (6) Month Basis.’ This will save money, and allow managers to focus on properly running their companies. Did you ever hear the statement that, ‘China has a 50 to 100 year view on management of a company, whereas we run our companies on a quarterly basis???’ Not good!!!” posted the president whose legendary mastery of capitalism has imbued him with the wisdom to concoct a strategy to lower the frequency with which publicly traded corporations inform investors of the value of their holdings in said corporations and to also extoll the values of the Chinese communist state’s tightly-controlled command economy.

As if to further underscore the validity of that charge, the fat bastard then posted “‘Too Late’ MUST CUT INTEREST RATES, NOW, AND BIGGER THAN HE HAD IN MIND. HOUSING WILL SOAR!!!”

The co-leader of The Villages, Florida “MAGA Club” has been hospitalized and possibly suffered a brain injury after she was shoved to the ground during a Saturday night candlelight vigil for Charlie Kirk by – wait for it – a fellow registered Republican Villager, Villages-News.com reports on a story not exactly tailor-made to fit a “BREAKING: EVEN MORE LEFTIST VIOLENCE” narrative.

Valerie and Tommy Jamieson are the leaders of the Villages MAGA Club and while Tommy was on the stage speaking to the crowd 56 year-old Courtney Beth Anderson approached and shoved Valerie to the pavement, apparently hitting her head. There aren’t any specifics on what, if anything, led up to the assault. Villages-News articles aren’t exactly known for exhaustive detail but it’s also quite likely that it was nothing as Anderson’s prior arrest record in the vast retirement community contains two unspecified public disturbances and more recently leading cops on a car chase that reached speeds of 112 miles an hour. When she was finally stopped she told a state trooper “Actors are allowed to drive like that for a movie and don’t get in trouble because they are rich.”

Actually come to think of it that’s a pretty surefire sign she’s MAGA and this was personal.

To be fair, going on Fox and Friends is actually the smart move to try to appeal to the audience of one to not fire him less than 12 hours after the network reported that is pretty much already a done deal. There are worse ways to go about this extremely urgent attempt at damage control.

“The NFL has to get rid of that ridiculous looking new Kickoff Rule. How can they make such a big and sweeping change so easily and quickly. It’s at least as dangerous as the ‘normal’ kickoff, and looks like hell. The ball is moving, and the players are not, the exact opposite of what football is all about. ‘Sissy’ football is bad for America, and bad for the NFL! Who comes up with these ridiculous ideas? It’s like wanting to ‘roll back’ the golf ball so it doesn’t go (nearly!) as far. Fortunately, college football will remain the same, hopefully forever!!” posted really manly President Trump on Monday.

“Trump’s personal popularity continues to trend downward (from -12 in February, -17 in May, to -20 today). His job approval has followed a similar trajectory (from -11 in February, -18 in May, to -23 today), as has his approval on handling the economy (from -13 in February, -20 in May, to -26 today). Independents, women, and younger voters (ages 18–29) are among the most disapproving blocs – but importantly, men, who were more mixed in February and May, are now clearly souring on Trump as well – most distinctly so on Trump’s economic approval (-10 today)” says a new survey of Latino voters from Somos Votantes. Huh, probably not great for the GOP in 2026.

South African Zulu King Misuzulu kaZwelithini on Saturday publicly announced he’s had enough of the fake news from his subject, University of Zuuland Professor Musa Xulu, and challenged the radical left academic to a ritual nonlethal combat to settle the score, the BBC reports.

“We are angry and we will do anything to protect and preserve our cultures,” Misuzulu said to a crowd of thousands gathered in front of the newly-built eMashobeni palace during the opening of the Zulu community’s annual Reed Dance. “It pains me to see another man telling me how to do my job… It is okay if he is against me, but when he insults me, he insults the Zulu nation as well. If his friends are here, go and tell him that there is a fighting ring – if he wants a stick fight because I can take him up,” Misuzulu continued in his tirade against Xulu without specifying the insult.

Xulu tells the BBC he’s pretty sure this is about an interview he gave to local media recently in which he criticized the king for pissing away millions to build a new palace just a few years after $9 million had been spent renovating the Enyokeni palace – where the Reed Dance had been held since 1984.

“The Federal Government, under my auspices as President of the United States of America, has stepped into the complete criminal mess that was Washington, DC, our Nation’s Capital. Because of this, DC has gone from one of the most dangerous and murder ridden cities in the USA, and even around the World, to one of the safest – In just a few weeks. The ‘place’ is absolutely booming, with restaurants, stores, and businesses packed and, for the first time in decades, virtually NO CRIME.”

“It has been a beautiful thing to watch but, now, under pressure from the Radical Left Democrats, Mayor Muriel Bowser, who has presided over this violent criminal takeover of our Capital for years, has informed the Federal Government that the Metropolitan Police Department will no longer cooperate with ICE in removing and relocating dangerous illegal aliens. If I allowed this to happen, CRIME would come roaring back. To the people and businesses of Washington, DC, DON’T WORRY, I AM WITH YOU, AND WON’T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN. I’ll call a National Emergency, and Federalize, if necessary!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 1:08 AM EDT on Monday, neglecting to explain why he would need to declare a national emergency if it’s only a problem in DC. Or why he didn’t show up for the mega-MAGA candlelight vigil for Charlie Kirk at the Kennedy Center on Sunday night.

Bronx Dem Congressman Ritchie Torres tells Axios he plans this week to intro a bill directing the Department of Homeland Security to study the feasibility of using drones to prevent assassinations.

“Common sense dictates that drone technology should be harnessed to scan every elevated structure with a line of sight to a target. If drones can enable the early detection and prevention of assassination attempts, why not use them? Better to have vigilant eyes in the sky than to remain blind to would-be assassins,” said Torres, willingly handing the Trump Regime a blueprint for putting lethally-armed UAVs in the sky above public events ready to blast anyone they think is a threat.

Two Salt Lake City-area men, Adeeb Nasir, 58, and Adil Justice Ahmed Nasir, 31, were arrested Friday and face charges including attempted aggravated arson, threat of terrorism, and possession of weapons of mass destruction, after they for some goddamned reason decided to place an “incendiary device” under the a news van owned by local affiliate Fox 13, CBS News reports.

It’s not clear what, if any, connection there is between the Nasirs’ attempt to blow up a news van and the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s assassination at Utah Valley University last week.

Those celebrating the death of Charlie Kirk must be thrown out of civil society.

If you are aware of anyone in the 6th District of Florida — or heck, anywhere in the state — who works at any level of government, works for an entity that gets money from government (health care,…

— Congressman Randy Fine (@RepFine) September 14, 2025

Even though the headline says “Fox News” this report comes from Jacqui Heinrich, one of the small handful of serious and credible journalists at the 98 percent otherwise bullshit propaganda content mill. Heinrich reports that dipshit FBI Director Kash Patel and his top deputy Dan Bongino fear that their doom is very much imminent as on Monday extremist MAGA asshole former Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey is set to be sworn in to the newly-made-up position of co-Deputy FBI director, which to K$H and Bongino like Bailey being pre-positioned to take over for them.

“The White House, Bondi, Blanche have no confidence in Kash. Pam in particular cannot stand him. Blanche either,” a source, maybe even Bailey himself, told Heinrich, who writes “But allies of President Trump and Patel’s harshest critics have begun to circulate word that contingency plans for Patel’s ouster are forming. They also claim his hopeful successor, Andrew Bailey, made clear that he would not leave his post as Missouri’s AG or abandon his aspirations to run for state governor only to serve as Patel’s number two.” Again, Bailey already left, sooo… Yeah, Kash and Bongino are toast.

Like this article might as well just be reporting that he’s done at the FBI. It even says the regime’s trying to find an “off-ramp” like some ambassadorship. “Sources close to Trump acknowledged the president was not thrilled with some past episodes of Patel’s performance – including a public feud with AG Bondi over the administration’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein case,” Heinrich writes.

Patel’s performance in the aftermath of Charlie Kirk’s assassination has made things even worse, with one official going so far as to say that “letting Kash talk much could fuck up the prosecution” of leftist-ish assassin Tyler Robinson given the things the FBI director said to the press on Friday.

In their Sunday story linked here earlier about Texas Republican Michael McCaul calling it quits, ABC News wrote that the formerly powerful ex-committee chair “joins two other House Republicans who announced their retirement from public office this year: McCaul’s fellow Texan Rep Morgan Luttrell and Rep Don Bacon of Nebraska” which, strictly speaking, is a factually accurate statement.

It also kind of undersells the reality that quite a few more are still getting the eff out of DC – and actually at a slightly faster pace than in 2018. The right way to count this, based on Ballotpedia’s tracker, is to include the number who are running for office back in their home states – which is currently eight gubernatorial hopefuls plus Chip Roy who’s already declared his bid for Texas Attorney General – and exclude the five running for Senate. Then add that philanderer from Tennessee Mark Green who resigned in July and you have 13 who will not going to be showing up for work at the Capitol on January 3, 2027. Really should be 14 since shrill, barbaric monster Elise Stefanik is supposed to have already announced her bid for New York State governor.

At this same point in 2017 a total of 12 Republican House members had announced their intent not to seek reelection or run for the Senate – or had already resigned outright. This preceded an absolute dam burst between October 2017 and January 2018 – followed by a slower trickle that infamously included then-Speaker Paul Ryan, totaling 35 exits ahead of the 116th Congress.