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“For the first time in two decades, Taco Bell is expanding the MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST legacy with a bold new flavor: MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA MIDNIGHT. An unexpected purple twist on the iconic tropical lime flavor fans know and love, Taco Bell’s exclusive, first-ever MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST flavor drops nationwide on August 14. As a permanent menu addition, MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA MIDNIGHT is set to unleash the next wave of MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA BLAST fandom, driven by the same passion that has defined the phenomenon since 2004,” says a new press release from the Lords of Mexican fast food headlined “THE EPIC MOUNTAIN DEW® BAJA BLAST® LEGACY EXPANDS WITH NEW MOUNTAIN DEW BAJA MIDNIGHT™, ONLY AT TACO BELL.” So epic.

In what looks like a rare correction prepended to their usual bullshit, Fox Business News on Tuesday seemed to try to at least partially walk back the framing of what creepy incel EJ Antoni, Trump’s new Bureau of Labor Statistics chief, said after real economists freaked out in response to Antoni saying that “until it is corrected, the BLS should suspend issuing the monthly job reports but keep publishing the more accurate, though less timely, quarterly data,” as though he said that this week.

“Editor’s Note: This article was updated to clarify that the interview with EJ Antoni was conducted by Fox News Digital on Monday, August 4, 2025, and not during an on-air appearance on Fox Business Network. The story has been corrected to reflect this distinction,” the top of the article now says at the top, emphasis theirs, trying to make it clear this happened before the Orange God Emperor nominated Antoni to pretend to lead the bureau even though they presented it as new on Tuesday. It’s not clear whether “this distinction” actually matters and whether Antoni still wants to do it – hell this might’ve been exactly why Trump hired the rapey-looking skell three days later – but obviously Fox Business felt like they should at least make said dispositive difference clear.

It was already kind of official but now it’s even more official as the Cleveland Plain-Dealer reports that Dem former Ohio Senator Sherrod Brown directly told labor leaders in the Buckeye State that he’s running to take on Jaydee’s replacement Jon Husted in 2026.

If nothing else about the Senate map in 2026 look at the lineup: Dems got Brown in Ohio, Roy Cooper in North Carolina, and a very solid bench in the Michigan D primary. Hopefully Texas shakes out. Meanwhile on Team MAGA Lara Trump, Brian Kemp, and Chris Sununu all passed on empty seats. If nothing else what does that say about how confident they are about winning?

“Jerome ‘Too Late’ Powell must NOW lower the rate. Steve ‘Manouychin’ really gave me a ‘beauty’ when he pushed this loser. The damage he has done by always being Too Late is incalculable. Fortunately, the economy is sooo good that we’ve blown through Powell and the complacent Board.”

“I am, though, considering allowing a major lawsuit against Powell to proceed because of the horrible, and grossly incompetent, job he has done in managing the construction of the Fed Buildings. Three Billion Dollars for a job that should have been a $50 Million Dollar fix up. Not good!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, fat and miserable as his usual state of mind.

Quick question for Trump fans here: If your Lord and Savior is so smart and omniscient then why is he blaming friggin Steve Mnuchin for Jerome Powell? Mnuchin didn’t hire him, Trump did.

Donald then turned his contempt on another member of The Tribe, posting a bunch of lies about the effects of tariffs on the US economy and then “But David Solomon and Goldman Sachs refuse to give credit where credit is due. They made a bad prediction a long time ago on both the Market repercussion and the Tariffs themselves, and they were wrong, just like they are wrong about so much else. I think that David should go out and get himself a new Economist or, maybe, he ought to just focus on being a DJ, and not bother running a major Financial Institution.”

Trolling SO hilariously on Tuesday, convicted felon President Trump posted “GREAT Nominees for the TRUMP/KENNEDY CENTER, whoops, I mean, KENNEDY CENTER, AWARDS. They will be announced Wednesday. Tremendous work is being done, and money being spent, on bringing it back to the absolute TOP LEVEL of luxury, glamour, and entertainment. It had fallen on hard times, physically, BUT WILL SOON BE MAKING A MAJOR COMEBACK!!! President DJT”

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.2 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis in July, after rising 0.3 percent in June, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 2.7 percent before seasonal adjustment,” says the monthly CPI report a day after convicted felon President Trump nominated some Heritage Foundation fanboy to run the Bureau of Labor statistics.

The Senate Leadership Fund, the top PAC for the establishment wing of the GOP in Congress’s upper chamber, estimates that rescuing Texas “RINO” John Cornhole Cornyn from corrupt Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton, who leads Cornyn by an average of 17 percent in polls of Lone Star State Republican primary voters, would cost them $25 to $70 million and if that doesn’t work then putting Pax over the finish line in the 2026 general election would run from $200 up to $250 million, according to an internal PowerPoint presentation obtained by Punchbowl News.

Yup, they will spend a quarter of a billion to make sure that piece of shit wins. Punchbowl says the establishment GOP have found some hopium in the fact that their aggregate of the polling ran only through the end of June, before shitty country musician state Senator Angela Paxton announced she was divorcing her long-unfaithful husband as if the 2015 indictment, 2023 impeachment, and allegations of all sorts of other crimes, plus the publicly-known fucking around on the side weren’t enough but it’s the divorce that will FINALLY put the nail in the coffin for Kenny Side-Eye.

In a nod to reality the slides acknowledged that 58 percent of Texas “primary voters don’t view Cornyn as conservative,” and thus the “most pressing problem” in the race. “The not great news: this is an expensive state with an early timeline. Resources will need to be committed starting this August,” the presentation continued, emphasis theirs. If they want to hang onto the seat then their focus should be on talking Corny into retiring, not what Punchbowl identifies as “throwing money at the problem.” They’re just going to end up throwing more at it if this primary race keeps going.

Was tempted to just embed the entire 91 minute video of this because even just skimming it you can find lowlight after lowlight after lowlight of California MAGA Congressman Doug LaMalfa’s very bad time at a Monday town hall in his R+22 district. Per Cal Matters, this was the first town hall LaMalfa held in eight years, and he got a voter telling him “If you need help pulling away from everything that’s going on, please, we want to help you,” as in whether he needed help getting out of the MAGA cult and escaping violent Trump fanboys. Another reminded him that “You all left… The Speaker of the House released you guys so you didn’t have to deal with releasing the Epstein files.”

So naturally LaMalfa acted like a condescending, pussy-ass bitch to them back. Of course the explanation’s always going to be “paid agitators getting bussed in, not representative of the majority of the district” blah blah blah which, okay, sure. Say the hecklers were bussed in from San Francisco or Oakland or wherever. Why didn’t LaMalfa’s team make sure at least some seats were filled with reliable supporters? These town hall shitshows have been going on for six months. If the libs were there to make him look bad then why at this point isn’t LaMalfa’s team or the NRCC or whoever taking steps to make sure at least some people are there to help make him look good?

“The US Attorney for the District of Columbia is marking President Donald J Trump’s first 100 days by highlighting a 25 percent drop year-to-date in violent crime across the District, credited in part to the ‘Make DC Safe Again’ initiative and the US Attorney’s partnership with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives and Metropolitan Police Department,” says a DOJ press release.

“According to data provided by the Metropolitan Police Department, total violent crime has declined by 25 percent year-to-date in 2025, with significant decreases in robberies, assaults with a dangerous weapon, and homicides. In March of 2025, US Attorney Edward R Martin Jr launched ‘Make DC Safe Again’, a law enforcement initiative in support of President Trump’s Executive Order to Make DC Safe and Beautiful. Make DC Safe Again aims to crack down on gun violence, prioritize federal firearms violations, pursue tougher penalties for offenses, and seek detention for federal firearms violators,” the press release continued and OH SHIT this is from April 28th back before the narrative changed and the National Guard needed to be deployed to extirpate the homeless.

And before Martin got replaced with Judge Box-o-Wine but that’s got fuck all to do with it.

A new Siena College survey of New York City voters finds socialist Dem mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani with less than majority support at 44 percent against disgraced former Governor Andrew Cuomo’s 25 percent with Republican loser Curtis Sliwa at 12 percent and incumbent idiot Eric Adams at an abysmal 7 percent. Which is funny because the natural answer is for Sliwa and Adams to drop out to consolidate the anti-Mamdani vote and there’s pretty much no way in hell they will.

Incumbent Governor Kathy Hochul leads ghoulish likely Republican nominee Congresswoman Elise Stefanik 45 to 31 percent in the 2026 election. Hochul is lame but looks like Jesus Christ herself on a golden unicorn in comparison to the shrill, hateful monster that is her opponent.

Convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell is permitted to leave the Club Fed in Bryan, Texas for “work assignments” of an unspecified nature, Mueller She Wrote reports on the Epstein accomplice being granted a privilege for well-behaved inmates who aren’t sex offenders.

https://t.co/RRa7N6vAse

— FBI Director Kash Patel (@FBIDirectorKash) August 12, 2025

A swarm of jellyfish, a marine invertebrate literally dumber than a lot of plants, has forced a shutdown of the Gravelines nuclear power plant in northern France after they floated into a canal that draws water from the North Sea to cool the plutonium rods, the Guardian reports.

It’s not the first time this has happened at a nuke plant and probably won’t be the last unless jellyfish are exterminated from the earth’s oceans by an engineered virus or something.

Republican South Carolina state Representative RJ May III, co-founder of the chamber’s Freedom Caucus, tendered his resignation last week, nearly two months after he’d been charged with 10 counts of distributing sexual abuse material involving children. Which was kind of just the tip of the iceberg as the investigation still continued after he was indicted and found that the hardcore conservative behind “joebidennnn69” had filmed encounters of himself with possible teenage sex trafficking victims in a hotel room in Colombia. Oh and that “he has a sexual interest in children the same age as his own children” and that he has “a sexual interest in incest” between young children and their parents, per Homeland Security Investigations. What a fucking animal.

Palmetto State House Speaker Dave Hiott on Monday responded to the resignation by hinting that the Freedom Caucasians had been part of a coverup. “May did today what he should have done a year ago. Not only would he have treated his constituents fairly, but he would have saved taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars. Now that he has finally resigned, the House Freedom Caucus has changed their tune. For months they’ve defended him, paid him tens of thousands of dollars, and even called him an ‘upstanding member.’ I hope the House Ethics Committee, having already initiated its inquiry, will follow its process through to conclusion, regardless of his resignation. And I hope members of the House Freedom Caucus don’t think this will end this investigation. As reported by the media, and recent statements made by Mr May during his jailhouse confessions, they appear to have uncovered numerous questions over campaign finance irregularities,” said Hiott in a statement.

Texas Gov Greg Abbott wasn’t exactly a force of nature in this CNN bit on Monday, probably speaking to the fact that he didn’t want to actually do this and basically got forced to by convicted felon President Trump. Abbott didn’t really believe his own shit about empowering Black and Latino voters, had no good answer for why he’s so outraged about Dems breaking quorum when Texas Republican Kay Granger was living in a dementia home for most of last year, and said he would respond to Gavin Newsom erasing five GOP districts in California by wiping out 10 Dem districts in the Lone Star State… Abbott did not explain why he didn’t just kill 10 Dem districts in this new map.

America Online on Monday announced that they’ve “decided to discontinue Dial-up Internet. This service will no longer be available in AOL plans. As a result, on September 30, 2025 this service and the associated software, the AOL Dialer software and AOL Shield browser, which are optimized for older operating systems and dial-up internet connections, will be discontinued. This change will not affect any other benefits in your plan, which you can access any time on your AOL plan dashboard.”

Well that’s it. The end of an era that no one knew was still an ongoing era 10 or even 20 years ago.

“I met with Mr Lip-Bu Tan, of Intel, along with Secretary of Commerce, Howard Lutnick, and Secretary of the Treasury, Scott Bessent. The meeting was a very interesting one. His success and rise is an amazing story. Mr Tan and my Cabinet members are going to spend time together, and bring suggestions to me during the next week. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, just four days after he demanded Tan resign.

Suddenly all the problems that Tom Cotton had with Tan running Intel while having some possibly suspicious connections to the ChiComs’ tech procurement programs aren’t really problems anymore.

A national survey conducted late last month by Canadian pollster Leger360 found that, on the question of “If Donald Trump was officially implicated in Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking activities, would this make you more likely to vote for another party, or would it not affect your vote for Donald Trump?” just 23 percent of Republican respondents said “I would be more likely to vote for another party,” 26 percent said “Not sure / Prefer not to say,” and 47 percent said “It would not affect my vote for Donald Trump,” and no that question/answer was not worded all that precisely.

Trump isn’t running in 2028. He’s either going to leave office or cancel the election, so how could his fans learning about his “involvement” affect a vote that was already cast, other than prompting people to regret it? The question already asked whether it’d make them more likely to vote for another party. Stupid wording on that part. On the other hand the vagueness of the word “involvement” may seem just as dumb at first, but it’s actually pretty instructive. Lacking space to map out a whole hypothetical about evidence that MAGA voters would accept as authentic – since there almost certainly will never be short of Trump openly admitting to raping sex trafficking victims and even then – the condensing forces the GOP respondents to imagine that maximal version.

Which means the floor is at 47 percent, that in an outcome where, say, Trump himself publicly copped to raping multiple teenage sex trafficking victims but thought they were all over 18 and that Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein had lied to him about the girls’ ages (so he’s the real victim). The ceiling? Maybe somewhere like 85 percent of Republican voters, the percentage that did not say “Yes” on the question of “Do you believe that Donald Trump was involved in Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking activities?” Another 22 percent weren’t sure and 63 percent said no, slightly lower than the number of Trump voters who said the same on an Economist/YouGov survey last month.