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Iranian military personnel are digging into their missile reserves, NBC News reports in a story that’s considerably more literal than you might think as they’re clearing out the rubble from US and Israeli strikes that buried their munitions bunkers and trying to see what if anything is still intact.

Other than the fact that NBC specifically mentions that they’re “taking advantage of the ceasefire” to undertake the recovery attempt, it’s not exactly a sign of strength for the regime to be resorting to this to build up its usable arsenal. Not to mention risky as hell because what didn’t already get detonated from US/Israeli missile strikes could quite easily blow up in the faces of the poor bastards toiling with shovels and pickaxes. And then if that doesn’t happen then there’s still the question of whether the propulsion, guidance, and other components are still good. Hell a slightly misaligned cylinder could jam in the launcher and explode long before it misses the Burj Khalifa by 20 miles.

Yet if anything it’s actually a greater sign of weakness for the Trump Regime, for that much of the job to be done but still unable to end it on his terms – the fat fuck stopped using the words “regime change” a long time ago even while he still continues to sporadically issue empty threats – and the entire world is worse off than if he’d just concentrated on solely domestic policy fuckups.

Georgia Gov Brian Kemp on Friday told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution he has no plans to redraw the Peach State’s congressional map ahead of the November midterms, further solidifying the reality that this week’s Supreme Court gutting of Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act was less-than-optimally-timed for GOP hopes to capitalize on the ruling ahead of an expected brutal midterm.

Already the governors of Alabama and South Carolina have punted while Mississippi, Louisiana, and Tennessee are trying to move ahead with uncertain prospects. The Georgia GOP gubernatorial field is a mess, with Trump’s pick, Lt Gov Burt Jones, trailing oligarch Rick Jackson in most polling – and just this week multiple stories about Jackson employing illegal aliens as his permanent landscaping crew have surfaced. There’s no floor on how bad turnout could get for MAGA this year, which is probably why Kemp at least nodded at redrawing maps to be effective for 2028 this year.

I encourage everyone to participate in Mike Lee’s poll on the filibuster. https://t.co/yHkUFLwdtm

— Senator Ron Johnson (@SenRonJohnson) May 1, 2026

Sources tell MS Now that Auditioning Attorney General Todd Blanche unshelved the “8647” seashells “investigation” into former FBI Director James Comey after his former boss Pam Bondi had shelved it last year in favor of the theoretically more winnable lying to Congress case which in retrospect, despite being a complete fucking joke, looks like a slam dunk relative to this shitshow.

Shocker, right? Funnier and even less surprising: Prior to Bondi’s firing, rank and file Justice Department prosecutors were urging her and Blanche to at least wait until interim US Attorney Ellis Boyle was confirmed by the Senate before going ahead as indicting one of convicted felon President Trump’s most hated enemies over such stupid bullshit would endanger his nomination process, the already longshot case, or both. But, seeking to win Trump’s approval himself, Blanche just did it anyway, throwing Boyle to the wolves for a short-term gain. Boyle – who like now former interim US Attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia – did at least get another federal prosecutor to sign off on the indictment, thereby foreclosing the one avenue Comey and New York Attorney General Letitia James used to get their EDVA indictments tossed. There remain plenty of others however.

Turns out they weren’t actually expendable. The New York Times reports that FEMA has rehired at least 14 of the officials who signed onto the “Katrina declaration,” voicing zero confidence in the leadership of the agency under former Secretary Kristi Noem and former chief David Richardson.

Lib kid Adam Mockler did not flinch, not in the least and did not really stop lighting into CNN’s pussy-ass bitch of a MAGA diversity hire on Thursday when commanded to remove his “fucking hand” from his proximity because, well, the nightly yap fest just really wasn’t going great for Scotty.

The “move fast and break things” dipshits brought in by Elon Musk to make things more “efficient” before Ketamine Brain got fired last year ended up creating a public database that exposed the Social Security numbers of doctors, physical therpaists, nurse practitioners, and other healthcare providers who accept Medicare and Medicaid, the Washington Post reports on waste, fraud, and abuse.

A widely disliked old boomer made a social media post stereotypical of his generation’s insufferable sense of entitlement and singular claim on socioeconomic advantages denied to later generations on Thursday, writing “Anybody running for President or Vice President should be forced to take a Cognitive Examination prior to entering the Race! By doing so, we wouldn’t be surprised at people like Barack ‘Hussein’ Obama, or Sleepy Joe Biden, getting ‘ELECTED.’ Our Country would be a much better place! I took the Exam three times during my (‘THREE!’) Terms as President, and ACED IT ALL THREE TIMES – An Achievement that, even on a single Exam, according to the Doctors, has rarely been done before!” and thus underscoring the point considerably more than he had even intended.

The post followed one in which he expressed offense and unsubtle racism with “Hakeem Jeffries just called the Supreme Court of the United States an illegitimate Court! This is a Low IQ individual, who should not be allowed to talk that way about one of the Greatest Institutions anywhere in the World. He should withdraw the statement, IMMEDIATELY!” showing his boomer self-unawareness just days after he called the same jurists “weak, stupid, and bad” for a different decision.

The boomer also commanded a lowly service worker to spare no effort to make him as comfortable and insulated as possible, posting “I had a very good conversation with Governor Bill Lee, of Tennessee, this morning, wherein he stated that he would work hard to correct the unconstitutional flaw in the Congressional Maps of the Great State of Tennessee. Likewise, all of the other Political Representatives of Tennessee have promised to do so. This should give us one extra seat, and help Save our Country from the Radical Left Democrats, and their Country destroying Policies of High Tax, Open Borders, Transgender Mutilization, Defunding the Police, ICE, and Border Patrol, No Voter ID, Soft on Crime, and so much more. Thank you Governor Lee – PUSH HARD!”

Democrats go out of their way to lecture the public about violent rhetoric, but ONLY when it benefits them.

Let’s be clear: this is a one-sided problem.

They pal around and campaign with someone who called for MY MURDER. That should tell you everything you need to know. https://t.co/ZfdSrWX2YU pic.twitter.com/HhltVoFeFk

— Rick Scott (@SenRickScott) April 30, 2026

What’s funny about this is that if some lib podcaster had said “Rick Scott voted for/against XYZ so libs people are going to be calling for his shiny scalp” then it’s questionable at best that he would react at all. Instead it was that Hasan Piker rabble rouser who said “if you’re outraged over Medicaid fraud then you should want to murder Rick Scott,” referring obviously to Scott’s history of ripping off taxpayers to the tune of billions in his private sector career. The counterfactual is like a badge of honor, a sign that Rick’s “over the target” while what actually happened was Piker being over the target while ALSO saying not that it’s leftists who should lynch Scott, but Republican voters outraged at “waste, fraud, and abuse” that forced work requirements and cuts on them.

Lightning and then tragedy struck an animatronic dinosaur park in Derby, Kansas on Saturday as the spark ignited flames that consumed the Derby’s Field Station: Dinosaurs experience’s 100 ft-long, 60 ton Sauroposeidon. The animatronic, a recreation of a massive long-necked herbivore that was wiped out by a similarly cruel, chance act of nature eons ago, was accurately reported by local officials to be the “first dinosaur fire Derby has experienced in 65 million years.”

“This evening at about 8:30pm, Derby Fire crews were dispatched to multiple reports of a lightning strike and a Dinosaur on fire at Derby’s Field Station: Dinosaurs. Units arrived to heavy fire showing from a three-story Sauroposeidon (meaning Earthquake God Lizard) Dinosaur. This Sauropod is the park’s largest herbivore from the early Cretaceous period with a total length of roughly 100ft, weighing nearly 60 tons! Crews were able to gain access and prevent the fire from spreading to other dinosaurs thus sparing an extinction level event. The fire was extinguished with automatic-aid from SCFD1 and Mulvane Fire. This is the first dinosaur fire Derby has experienced in 65 million years. Field Station Dinosaur plans to open tomorrow (Sunday) as scheduled! There are 39 other dinosaurs to see and experience,” the department wrote in a Facebook post, evidently having failed to consider that the burned remains of a hulking robotic dinosaur could itself become an attraction.

“For months, Senator Bill Cassidy (of the GREAT State of Louisiana!), a very disloyal person whose ‘TRUMP’ Endorsement got him elected, but later voted to impeach ‘President Trump’ on what has now proven to be a total Hoax and Scam, has stood in the way of Robert F Kennedy Jr’s Nominee, Casey Means, for the important position of US Surgeon General. I nominated Casey, a strong MAHA Warrior, at the recommendation of Secretary Kennedy, who understands the MAHA Movement better than anyone, with perhaps the possible exception of ME! Nevertheless, despite Senator Cassidy’s intransigence and political games, Casey will continue to fight for MAHA on the many important Health issues facing our Country, such as the rising childhood disease epidemic, increased autism rates, poor nutrition, over-medicalization, and researching the root causes of infertility, and many other difficult medical problems. Casey, thank you for your service to our Nation!” posted a plainly butthurt convicted felon President Trump on Thursday.

Lol at “Robert F Kennedy Jr’s Nominee.” Way to not-really-Freudian slip his abdication of responsibility and authority to a fucking weirdo who cut off a dead raccoon’s dick for his collection.

“Hopefully all of the Great Republican People of Louisiana, which I won, BIG, three times, will be voting Bill Cassidy OUT OF OFFICE in the upcoming Republican Primary!” Trump then added, further underscoring how it’s not actually about Means but his abuse of Cassidy, who deserves this after selling out and confirming Bobby Brainworms instead of maintaining the spine he showed in 2021.

The powerful rotisserie chicken industry applied what proved to be unrelenting heat from multiple angles to Congress and saw the deliciously juicy meat of its labors paying dividends on Thursday as by an overwhelming margin lawmakers passed Arkansas Congressman Rick Crawford’s amendment allowing SNAP beneficiaries to purchase the pre-heated birds. The abeyance, which runs contrary to traditional opposition to access to prepared food products in the social safety net, only further slippens the slope toward ribs, wings, fried chicken buckets, and other grocery heat-lamp foods.

And to be serious for a minute who gives a shit if Crawford’s industrial chicken farmer donors did push him into it only for him to sell it as responsive to his economically and educationally deprived constituents. People on SNAP shouldn’t have to buy a goddamned whole raw chicken when there’s a properly-cooked one right there for a not-meaningfully higher price. That this amendment was even necessary speaks to how fucking stupidly the burden of preventing beneficiaries from buying Heineken and Winstons is applied to those who really do need to feed their families.

Without actually pointing to any significant general public outcry agitating for the immediate removal of the late night host, the President of the United States on Thursday nevertheless insisted it was currently erupting forcefully, posting “When is ABC Fake News Network firing seriously unfunny Jimmy Kimmel, who incompetently presides over one of the Lowest Rated shows on Television?”

“People are angry. It better be soon!!!” the President concluded, implying consequences for the national television network and its corporate parent despite his lieutenants already having initiated a lengthy, complex, litigious, and far from guaranteed-to-be-successful challenge to the broadcast licenses of the television affiliates that air Kimmel’s show… Six days after the host simply joked that a nearly 80 year-old man in ever-increasingly grave physical and mental health is likely to die soon.

The president then expressed futher frustrations with legislative friction in a subsequent post, writing “How much abuse can the Republican Senate take from the Radical Left Lunatics in the form of Democrat Senators, before they BLOW UP (TERMINATE!) THE FILIBUSTER, and approve things at a record clip, including The Save America Act, that would be unthinkable without the Filibuster Termination??? The Dems will do it on the first hour of their first day. DO NOT BE STUPID!!!”

Dem Maine Governor Janet Mills, age 77, announced on Thursday she’s dropping out of the senate primary to take on Concern Lady in November, leaving problematic, kind of weird, yet still formidable outsider Graham Platner as the effective nominee in the must-win race to flip the Senate.

Whether the Bernie Sanders and Liz Warren-backed Platner really knew his tattoo was a Nazi SS symbol when he got it inked and some silly shit he posted on Reddit over a decade ago aren’t as likely to matter in November as how cold it is and how much a gallon of home heating oil costs. The price last month was already up 44 percent year-over-year and in a state where half the homes are heated by black gold pumped from delivery trucks it there’s going to be a point where Eric Swalwell could be a viable contender against an incumbent from the party led by the fucking idiot who was posting a “Strait of Trump” meme on Wednesday in between not trying to demilitarize it.

The AAA National Average is at $4.30 a gallon as of Thursday morning but Stevie obviously hasn’t looked it yet, claiming on CNBC that it’s “in the threes” as in the $3.00 to $3.99 range.

The “Church” of Scientology on Wednesday invoked religious freedoms as it decried a recent TikTok trend of kids “speedrunning” onto its properties by simply entering the door and seeing how deep they can get before security grabs them and drags them out, ripping into the fad as “trespassing, harassment and disruption of religious facilities,” NBC News reports while sanewashing the sci-fi cult as “a fiercely private religious group that follows the teachings of founder L Ron Hubbard.”

“Over recent weeks, individuals have repeatedly forced their way into Church properties on Hollywood Boulevard, disrupted religious and public facilities, damaged Church property, and endangered staff, parishioners and visitors,” the “Church” said, adding that turning its “OT reading centers” into “targets for viral stunts is not journalism, protest or civic activity.”

The cult – which teaches that human psychological problems are caused by “thetans” who are the ghosts of trillions of aliens that were imprisoned by the evil galactic Lord Xenu 75 million years ago and sacrificed by being immolated on board one of dozens of giant golden spaceships shaped exactly like McDonnell-Douglas DC-8s as they were intentionally crashed into Mauna Loa in Hawaii and then those alien ghosts were again imprisoned and brainwashed by Xenu before he released them into the aether where they floated until they infected human souls – was particularly incensed after a Saturday mass “speedrun” of a Los Angeles center. Among the dozens of rogues rushing into the Hollywood Boulevard location were Sonic the Hedgehog and Jesus Christ cosplayers.

Despite six months of really lame efforts to sell convicted felon President Trump’s stupid White House ballroom as necessary, an ABC News/Washington Post national survey finds the project at 28 percent approve to 56 percent disapprove plus 16 percent not sure, exactly the same as in October.

Trump putting his signature on US currency stands at 12 percent approval.