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why am I being mogged by a Filet-O-Fish rn pic.twitter.com/vbnXmaJxJ4

— McDonald's (@McDonalds) April 13, 2026

“Mog” was not invented by Clavicular, though the now-sterile “looksmaxxer” freak inarguably did more than any other individual to popularize it. For those still lost, mog is a contraction of “AMOG,” which itself was acronymed from “Alpha Male of Group,” a key fixation of the incel/men’s rights advocate/pickup artist subcultures in that “foids” (“female humanoids”) are attracted to the AMOG, which got verbed into mog, like the fish filet sandwich does, according to McDonald’s… “rn.”

Convicted felon President Trump – or maybe his wiener social media aide Dan Scavino using Trump’s Truth Social account – on Monday gave into the heat from his own worshippers and deleted the previous night’s AI slop post depicting the Satanic cult overlord as a Jesus-like figure.

“Iran’s Navy is laying at the bottom of the sea, completely obliterated – 158 ships. What we have not hit are their small number of, what they call, ‘fast attack ships,’ because we did not consider them much of a threat. Warning: If any of these ships come anywhere close to our BLOCKADE, they will be immediately ELIMINATED, using the same system of kill that we use against the drug dealers on boats at Sea. It is quick and brutal. PS 98.2 percent of Drugs coming into the US by Ocean or Sea have STOPPED!” posted the 21st century’s Chester Nimitz, daring his opponent to place their vessels on the coordinates he’s already selected as his target offensive operation area.

Just ask the tiny plastic Risk artillerymen lodged in his lower intestine since 1968. You don’t mess with the Stratego-ic prowess of the man who exploited Candy Land’s crucial Gumdrop Pass to outmaneuver his opponents in a hard-fought battle to capture King Kandy’s castle. Twice.

Really what Senator John Barrasso is saying is that Democrats are happy right now because everyone’s paying more for gas, which helps advance their “radical climate agenda,” and then in the next sentence it’s “so people understand what the president is doing and agree with him.” Which when you really think about it means… Barrasso is… praising Trump for making sure gas prices increase and the Democrats actually like it… so it’s actually making Democrats look bad…?

House Oversight Chairbilly James Comer’s staff have removed the Wednesday deposition with disgraced former Attorney General Pam Bondi from the schedule for this week, Meidas Touch’s Scott MacFarlane reports and naturally there’s no announcement or explanation from Team Comer.

A federal judge on Monday tossed convicted felon President Trump’s $10 billion defamation lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal and owner Rupert Murdoch over the paper’s publication of Donald’s affectionate 2003 birthday letter to notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

Southern Florida District Judge Darrin Gayles found that Trump had “not plausibly alleged that the Defendants published the Article with actual malice,” which is one way to describe a case that stood on, in the actual words of Team Orange’s Michael Brito, “the defendants’ reliance on a purported letter released over a month after the complaint was filed proves that defendants did not actually possess, or even review, any purported letter before publishing the false and defamatory article.”

Those words alone, deranged as they may be, actually undersell the batshittery of the whole timeline: It was July 17th, 2025 that the Journal printed the text of the letter that they did not yet have in their possession, and the complaint was filed less than 24 hours later. On September 8th, the House Oversight Committee acquired the actual letter from Epstein’s estate and, in a fun little fuck you to Trump, gave it to the Wall Street Journal first. It was a month and a half later that Brito told the court that it was still defamation because they didn’t have the letter yet in July.

HOLY GRAIL: Pope Leo says he has "no fear" and will continue his calls for peace in the Middle East after President Trump criticized him as "weak on crime" and "terrible for foreign policy." pic.twitter.com/CudJ5WQrsZ

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 13, 2026

Quantifying the effectiveness of the political and civil pushback against convicted felon President Trump’s legions of white nationalist stormtroopers, CBS News reports that the latest numbers show a 12 percent decline in internments by ICE since the January bloodbath in Minneapolis, and within that the average number of detainees without criminal records dropped by 21 percent.

Should be far closer to 100 percent. Not 100 percent because there is of course a kernel of justified enforcement against actual criminal illegal aliens. But they’ve clearly been restrained and another surge – or worse, another execution, during the summer – would be a nightmare for the regime.

Nagged by questions about his health, Philippines President Ferdinand “BongBong” Marcos on Monday stepped outside of his office and, rather than starting by addressing reporters’ said questions verbally, simply did jumping jacks and jogged in place while wearing a suit, the AP reports.

“I challenge anyone who are saying that I am sick, that they come and exercise with me,” Marcos then said. “You come to the gym with me. Let’s see who can lift the weights better. Those people who tell you that I’m sick, that I’m paralyzed, they’re all liars.” The AP does not describe Marcos’s delivery, as in whether he was particularly winded, but the absence of any such qualifier kind of answers that question, as does the apparent ebullience of the statement. The questions from reporters and social media rumors that the 68 year-old leader was on his deathbed did not come from nowhere as in January Marcos was hospitalized with a serious but treatable abdominal issue.

There’s no details in the AP story on what time of day this appearance occurred or, if it was in the morning/early afternoon, whether Marcos retired for the rest of the day. But that’s just needling, the bottom line is that he did the jumping jacks rather than have some unethical, supplicatory quack put his name on a letter that he did not write, a letter describing the president as being in completely perfect health, even healthier than a notorious fitness freak 15 years his junior. Nor did Marcos challenge a 36 year-old leftist congresswoman to a cognitive test and then just not do anything to set up that face-off. Marcos simply did the jumping jacks and said the rumors are bullshit.

Convicted felon President Trump’s worshippers on Sunday and Monday found themselves upset with their messiah for using AI-generated imagery to illustrate their feelings toward him, as though he somehow embarrassed them for simply taking their devotion to its natural conclusion.

Evidently determined to live up to the stereotypes, Politico on Monday printed “Hungary’s Election Sends a Jolting Message — to Democrats” because, and they actually wrote this, “The outcome is a setback for the White House and a humiliation for its best friend in Europe. But the sharpest message from Budapest should be for the Democrats, strange as that may sound…”

It’s like they’re trying to get themeselves a shoutout from “New York Times Pitchbot.”

“Pope Leo is WEAK on Crime, and terrible for Foreign Policy. He talks about ‘fear’ of the Trump Administration, but doesn’t mention the FEAR that the Catholic Church, and all other Christian Organizations, had during COVID when they were arresting priests, ministers, and everybody else, for holding Church Services, even when going outside, and being ten and even twenty feet apart. I like his brother Louis much better than I like him, because Louis is all MAGA. He gets it, and Leo doesn’t! I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s OK for Iran to have a Nuclear Weapon. I don’t want a Pope who thinks it’s terrible that America attacked Venezuela, a Country that was sending massive amounts of Drugs into the United States and, even worse, emptying their prisons, including murderers, drug dealers, and killers, into our Country. And I don’t want a Pope who criticizes the President of the United States because I’m doing exactly what I was elected, IN A LANDSLIDE, to do, setting Record Low Numbers in Crime, and creating the Greatest Stock Market in History.”

“Leo should be thankful because, as everyone knows, he was a shocking surprise. He wasn’t on any list to be Pope, and was only put there by the Church because he was an American, and they thought that would be the best way to deal with President Donald J Trump. If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican. Unfortunately, Leo’s Weak on Crime, Weak on Nuclear Weapons, does not sit well with me, nor does the fact that he meets with Obama Sympathizers like David Axelrod, a LOSER from the Left, who is one of those who wanted churchgoers and clerics to be arrested. Leo should get his act together as Pope, use Common Sense, stop catering to the Radical Left, and focus on being a Great Pope, not a Politician. It’s hurting him very badly and, more importantly, it’s hurting the Catholic Church!” posted convicted felon President Trump, lol.

Fuck you! No peace for you! Resign bitch or be expelled! I’ve spent all day today and yesterday working the phones with Dems who are ready to cut you loose!

— George Santos (@Georgesantos) April 13, 2026

“US Central Command (CENTCOM) forces will begin implementing a blockade of all maritime traffic entering and exiting Iranian ports on April 13 at 10 am ET, in accordance with the President’s proclamation. The blockade will be enforced impartially against vessels of all nations entering or departing Iranian ports and coastal areas, including all Iranian ports on the Arabian Gulf and Gulf of Oman. CENTCOM forces will not impede freedom of navigation for vessels transiting the Strait of Hormuz to and from non-Iranian ports. Additional information will be provided to commercial mariners through a formal notice prior to the start of the blockade. All mariners are advised to monitor Notice to Mariners broadcasts and contact US naval forces on bridge-to-bridge channel 16 when operating in the Gulf of Oman and Strait of Hormuz approaches,” said CENTCOM on Sunday.

Hungarian opposition leader Peter Magyar’s Tisza Party on Sunday captured a comfortable majority and well within reach of the real prize, 2/3rds of seats in Budapest’s parliament, the supermajority required to make constitutional changes to undo all of the authoritarian impositions by pro-Trump dictator Viktor Orban, who conceded a “painful” defeat well before all the results had been tallied.

The actual words “with tears in his eyes” appear in Politico EU’s reporting on Orban’s concession, lol.

Thus ends 16 years of the evil slob’s rule, a stretch that has seen nothing even remotely close to economic prosperity for the country. A dirty little secret all the fanboys like Tucker Carlson and bisexual CPAC chair Matt Schlapp won’t tell you is that life in Hungary simply sucks considerably more than it did in 2010 and Orban did nothing to improve the condition of the average citizen

Prosecuting people for a Pride parade can only work for so long, especially when you’re depending on billions in annual handouts from the rest of the European Union to not go completely broke.

Also lol at JD Vance and Vladimir Putin, the former of whom got embarrassed on the world stage for the second time in under 24 hours and especially the former who loses an important veto over EU policy. This is actually REALLY not good for Vladdy Daddy. And, of course, convicted felon President Trump takes an L on yet another one of his endorsed candidates for about the fifth time this year.

Complete scumbag Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson said he’s not surprised neckbearded Vice President JD Vance failed to get the Iranians to submit to his sheer force of personality – but of course blamed the Iranians themselves and not, you know, the fat dumbass that started this fight.

“So, there you have it, the meeting went well, most points were agreed to, but the only point that really mattered, NUCLEAR, was not. Effective immediately, the United States Navy, the Finest in the World, will begin the process of BLOCKADING any and all Ships trying to enter, or leave, the Strait of Hormuz. At some point, we will reach an ‘ALL BEING ALLOWED TO GO IN, ALL BEING ALLOWED TO GO OUT’ basis, but Iran has not allowed that to happen by merely saying, ‘There may be a mine out there somewhere,’ that nobody knows about but them. THIS IS WORLD EXTORTION, and Leaders of Countries, especially the United States of America, will never be extorted. I have also instructed our Navy to seek and interdict every vessel in International Waters that has paid a toll to Iran.”

“No one who pays an illegal toll will have safe passage on the high seas. We will also begin destroying the mines the Iranians laid in the Straits. Any Iranian who fires at us, or at peaceful vessels, will be BLOWN TO HELL! Iran knows, better than anyone, how to END this situation which has already devastated their Country. Their Navy is gone, their Air Force is gone, their Anti Aircraft and Radar are useless, Khomeini, and most of their ‘Leaders,’ are dead, all because of their Nuclear ambition. The Blockade will begin shortly. Other Countries will be involved with this Blockade. Iran will not be allowed to profit off this Illegal Act of EXTORTION. They want money and, more importantly, they want Nuclear. Additionally and, at an appropriate moment, we are fully ‘LOCKED AND LOADED,’ and our Military will finish up the little that is left of Iran!” posted Donald on Sunday.

US Vice President JD Vance on Sunday departed Pakistan with nothing even remotely resembling a peace agreement with the Iranians, the AP reports on a historic, unprecedented failure.

DC US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro is not among the contenders to replace disgraced former Attorney General Pam Bondi due to what the Wall Street Journal reports is Pirro’s failure to bend the justice system to her will and successfully bring fkae cases against convicted felon President Trump’s enemies such as the “Seditious Six” and Fed chairman Jerome Powell.

“As Bondi’s ouster demonstrated, Trump is looking for not only eagerness but also effectiveness in pursuit of his political adversaries, and that has proven a hurdle for Pirro,” the Journal writes, adding the the Orange Tyrant “has personally noted to advisers that some of her cases have flopped.”

The Journal notes that Pirro is hard at work on her next flop: Prosecuting disgraced former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo for supposedly lying during his 2024 testimony to Congress over how he handled the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic that Trump grossly mishandled and got hundreds of thousands of his own fans killed, including one dumbass who drank aquarium cleaner that contained chloroquine the day that Trump claimed hydroxychloroquine was a miracle cure for the virus.