Categories
Uncategorized

Catturd 💔 Steve Bannon

“And save your breath acting like it was a documentary, i’ve been reading the emails between them, they’re best friends, trying to take down Trump together. It’s so bad. Anyone from the war room who’s trying to justify this, is full of sht. It’s so bad, and there’s no coming back from this,” continued the feline feces-themed conservative thought leader after the tweet embed cutoff.

The URL in the community note links to Catturd tweeting “I stand with Steve Bannon” in June 2024.

Categories
Uncategorized

Dubai fires Epstein’s “torture” buddy from state shipping concern

Dubai leadership on Friday canned Sultan Ahmed bin Sulayem from his role as the CEO of the state-owned ports authority after it was revealed Sulayem was the scumbag who wrote “I loved the torture video” in an email to notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, Semafor reports.

Categories
Uncategorized

Turning Point situationally against far right conspiracy theorists

A recently-former communications director for Turning Point USA named Aubrey Laitsch came forward earlier this month with a shocking revelation about the massive “conservative youth organization” undertaking a massive purge of believers in extremist conspiracy theories, infringing on their First Amendment rights to just ask questions about the narrative in the establishment media.

Specifically, according to an excellent write-up in the Bulwark this week, it was Laitsch’s just asked questions about “the narrative of what happened to my role model and CEO, Charlie Kirk, on the day of his assassination.” Or at least she says it was. Per Laitsch, the pretext was that an unnamed Turning Point exec had – about a month or two after Kirk’s death – gotten into an Uber whose driver said his daughter was a high school classmate that Laitsch had told the driver’s daughter that the organization was a shitshow. It’s a mess of a story but in any case Laitsch doesn’t buy it and has a “gut feeling” her mid-January firing was due to her just asking questions of who really killed Charlie.

And she’s not from the only one, according to both her and Candace Owens.

Categories
Uncategorized

Ken Paxton ad all but straight up falsely says Trump endorsed him

Categories
Uncategorized

Former Norwegian prime minister charged over Epstein friendship

Norway’s former Prime Minister Thorbjorn Jagland has been charged with “aggravated corruption” over his lovely friendship with notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, CNN reports on yet another non-American facing actual fucking consequences for hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein.

Cops are investigating “whether gifts, travel and loans were received in connection with his position.” Jagland – who was prime minister from 1996 to 1997, as well as serving as foreign minister and secretary-general of the Council of Europe – has denied he did any real Epstein stuff.

Categories
Uncategorized

“Biden was better” and other tales from “Dems in Disarray, Inc”

The Axis of Buzz Alerts – Politico Playbook, Punchbowl, and Axios – appear to have collectively decided to curry favor with ascendant Dems Thursday and Friday, directing their “disarray” narrative onto the bloated old corpse their house accountants abso-fucking-lutely wanted to win in 2024.

First up is Axios, who printed “A year into Trump’s term, voters say Biden was better,” firing off three bullet points supporting their thesis, starting by citing abject Trump ballsucker Mark Penn’s polling firm finding that 51 percent of respondents saying Biden did a better job than Trump is doing. Then it was an even uglier finding from hardcore MAGA pollster Rasmussen Reports finding Biden 48 to Trump 40 percent on a similar question, and lastly the Economist/YouGov at Biden 46 to Trump 40 percent, then another 7 percent saying “about the same.” That could actually kinda sting the most.

On Friday Axios printed “Behind the Curtain: Resistance rising” because “Resistance” drives clicks and “the law of political gravity is starting to apply to Trump.” AXIOS IS SO INSIGHTFUL.

Thursday morning’s Punchbowl AM was about as blunt as possible, writing “Trump is wasting his energy. He can veto any tariff termination resolution and the vast majority of Republicans would absolutely uphold his veto. These resolutions are nothing more than a bad headline for the president. But Trump doesn’t like the optics of any Republicans voting against him. Ever,” accurately portraying him as a mental child and warning if his “approval ratings stay where they are, Republicans may continue to buck him, betting that opposing an unpopular president is smart for the midterms.” What happened to the shining virtuoso at the center of the political solar system?

Categories
Uncategorized

Regime’s 7-Eleven conspiracy truther demands accountability

Suspecting a 7-Eleven is an inside job that goes all the way to the top, douchebag Trump Admin pencil pusher General Services Administration deputy chief Michael Lynch tells Fox News he’s sent the chain’s COO a sternly worded letter following an altercation where now-demoted weenie Gregory Bovino and his posse were denied service at a Minneapolis gas station last month.

“As 7-Eleven, Inc/Speedway LLC locations accept the GSA SmartPay fleet card for fuel and other authorized purchases on behalf of Federal fleets – including those operated by the US Department of Homeland Security – these actions raise concerns about the ability of Federal vehicle operators to access necessary fuel and services at convenient locations,” Lynch wrote to COO Doug Rosencrans.

One manager of a Speedway – an affiliate of the 7-Eleven network – gas station in Minnesota told Bovino to get fucked and would not be serving him and his goons and now the MAGA Reich literally thinks it goes all the way to the top. These stupid cocksuckers and their delicate little feelings.

Categories
Uncategorized

DHS ceases “clapping back”

Categories
Uncategorized

New York-New Jersey Gateway Tunnel project funds unblocked

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime failed to get another stay before a Manhattan judge’s expired on Thursday so the funding to continue constructing the $16 billion Gateway Tunnel project is now unblocked, Politico’s Chris Marquette reports. It does not appear Penn Station will be renamed for Trump either, so really the fat bastard got nothing for his arbitrary hostage-taking.

Categories
Uncategorized

Tulsi tried to hide a still-unspecified act of Kushner treason: WSJ

The super-duper secret DNI whistleblower report that shitbag Hindu fascist Tulsi Gabbard is still trying to hide from Congress concerns, as the Wall Street Journal puts it, a “conversation intercepted last spring in which two foreign nationals discussed Jared Kushner.”

Probably wasn’t just Bonesaw and one of his aides trying to remember what brand of hummus Jared prefers to have in his hotel suite when he’s in town for their regular money laundering meetings.

Categories
Uncategorized

Pennsylvania Staples tech diagnoses local man’s laptop issues

National office supply retailer Staples is a great source for tech services, which are critical in today’s digital environment. From repairs to preventative maintenance, customers can find the technological services to keep their PCs, Macs, tablets, or mobile device in top shape for when they need help they most. Staples’ priority is getting customers’ technology back up and running, or to help prevent issues before they happen with proper setup and protection services. With over 900 locations nationwide open seven days a week, Staples’s trained tech professionals are ready to tackle your tech troubles and have your device back to you usually within three to five business days!

Unless you got the viruses from downloading thousands of child sexual abuse images, like one Staples troubleshooting pro did when examining a laptop dropped off by 55 year-old Hanover, Pennsylvania man Troy Wesley Tracey. The Hanover Evening Sun reports that the tech had to call law enforcement professionals to examine Tracey and diagnose him with that really pesky rural Caucasian pedophilia virus, hitting him with two felony counts of child pornography possession, all with the help of the friendly tech who told them the child porn sites definitely caused the viruses.

So if you’re not a chomo – or at least one smart enough to simply throw out your laptop with child porn on it and need a clean one fixed – visit Staples.com to find a location near you today!

Categories
Uncategorized

Rodriguez says Maduro still legitimate Venezuelan leader

Now actual Venezuelan President Delcy Rodriguez tells NBC News that her former boss, Nicholas Maduro – the guy she sold out to the Trump regime, is still the legitimate leader of the nation.

Even though he’s going to die at ADX Florence and wasn’t really fairly elected in the first place.

“I can tell you President Nicolás Maduro is the legitimate president. I will tell you this as a lawyer, that I am. Both President Maduro and Cilia Flores, the first lady, are both innocent,” Rodriguez told Kristen Welker in an interview taped in Caracas that’ll probably air Sunday. “I can tell you I am in charge of the presidency of Venezuela, as it’s stated clearly in the constitution of Venezuela. And from the amount of work that I have, from how busy I am, I can tell you it’s very, very hard work and we’re doing it completely day by day,” the venomous snake in Maduro’s garden continued.

Rodriguez said she’s “been invited to the States.” Womp womp Maria Corina Machado.

Categories
Uncategorized

Judge blocks Hegseth from punishing Mark Kelly

A DC federal judge on Thursday sided with Dem Arizona Senator Mark Kelly and blocked binge-drinking date rapist Secretary of War Defense Pete Hegseth from demoting the decorated retired Navy captain and former NASA astronaut – as well as docking his pension – for having reminded service members of their duty to disobey illegal orders from a tyrannical and incompetent regime in the “Don’t Give Up The Ship” video. That everyone saw this ruling coming is prooooobably why Hegseth’s fellow alcoholic former Fox News host Jeanine Pirro slapped together her amateurish and similarly doomed attempt to punish Kelly – and the five other Dems – through different means.

Wrote District Judge Richard Leon, emphasis his: “United States Senator Mark Kelly, a retired naval officer, has been censured by Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth for voicing certain opinions on military actions and policy. In addition, he has been subjected to proceedings to possibly reduce his retirement rank and pay and threatened with criminal prosecution if he continues to speak out on these issues. Secretary Hegseth relies on the well-established doctrine that military service members enjoy less vigorous First Amendment protections given the fundamental obligation for obedience and discipline in the armed forces. Unfortunately for Secretary Hegseth, no court has ever extended those principles to retired service members, much less a retired service member serving in Congress and exercising oversight responsibility over the military.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Surprise! Trump met with Ellison, then lied about it in NBC interview

You will not be surprised to learn that convicted felon President Trump was not what most people would call “honest” when questioned specifically about the Warner Bros-Netflix-Paramount drama during his interview with NBC’s Tom Llamas last week, per CNN media guy Brian Stelter’s newsletter.

“You are close with the Ellisons who are trying to stop a merger between Warner Bros, Discovery, and Netflix. This deal could change the make-up of the media as we know it. Are you personally gonna get involved in that deal?” asked Llamas, to which Trump said “I haven’t been involved. I must say, I guess I’m considered to be a very strong president. I’ve been called by both sides, it’s the two sides, but I’ve decided I shouldn’t be involved. The Justice Department will handle it,” and blah blah blah too senile to recall the word “antitrust” and blah blah blah. Emphasis added on the denials.

The interview, aired prior to the Super Bowl, was taped last Wednesday – timing that Stelter finds interesting because it was most likely after the fat bastard welcomed loyal oligarch Larry Ellison to the White House – as well as two days before the Wall Street Journal reported that the Regime DOJ’s Antitrust division had opened an investigation into Netflix… And just Netflix as it is right now.

Not like an investigation of the streaming giant’s bid to acquire Warner, which is still at a stage far too early for there to be any official regulatory scrutiny from the division. As for Trump’s meeting with Ellison, Stelter’s sources did not provide any detail on what they talked about but you have to be pretty goddamned daft if you think CNN’s future didn’t come up one way or another given that months ago Ellison specifically told Trump he would fire Erin Burnett, Brianna Keilar, and other anchors the fat bastard hates if and when he and his dickhead son can get the keys to the building.

Categories
Uncategorized

Mike Johnson posits quantum superpositioned Bondi misconduct

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson on Thursday floated an interesting epistemological hypothesis regarding theoretical inappropriate conduct by Attorney General Pam Bondi having a list of searches of the unredacted Epstein files by Congresswoman Pramila Jayapal in Bondi’s binder during her Wednesday hearing: That IF Johnson were aware of the voluminous photographic evidence that Bondi indeed had such a printout in her binder while sitting at the table during the contentious testimony then it WOULD BE “inappropriate,” in Johnson’s words. However, like many other inexplicably distant video clips, racist rants by convicted felon President Trump, and so on, Johnson asserted unfalsifiably that he remains outside the sphere of awareness of this transgression by Bondi and concordantly she remains outside the sphere of his judgment on inappropriate conduct.

It’s almost like these Hill reporters should have an iPad on hand with whatever it is they already know Johnson is going to say he hasn’t seen yet very clearly displayed on the tablet. Hand it to him first, explain it briefly, THEN ask him to comment. Or print it out if an iPad’s too clunky, whatever.

In related news the House is out on recess for the week and DHS will shut down Friday.

Categories
Uncategorized

Claiming exoneration is a way to sell Americans on that exoneration

“AG Pam Bondi, under intense fire from the Trump Deranged Radical Left Lunatics, was fantastic at yesterday’s Hearing on the never ending saga of Jeffrey Epstein, where the one thing that has been proven conclusively, much to their chagrin, was that President Donald J Trump has been 100 percent exonerated of their ridiculous Russia, Russia, Russia type charges. Actually, it is the SLIMEBALL Democrats, many of them big Donors and Politicians, that have been proven GUILTY! ‘Republican’ Loser, Sanctimonious RINO Congressman, Thomas Massie, made a total fool of himself yesterday, fighting aimlessly against a hopeless agenda of Hate and Stupidity, as most clearly stated by his crashing Job Approval Numbers in the Great Commonwealth of Kentucky, where a Military Hero Opponent, Ed Gallrein, is crushing him in the Polls. He is now in ‘Wacky’ Liz Cheney territory!”

“Nobody cared about Epstein when he was alive, they only cared about him when they thought he could create Political Harm to a very popular President who has brought our Country back from the brink of extinction, and very quickly, at that! In fact, this attempt by the Democrats to take away attention from tremendous Republican SUCCESS is backfiring badly. Maybe they should focus on their quest to Open our Borders to the World’s Greatest Criminals, have Transgender for Everybody or, get Men, no matter their size or strength, to play in Women’s Sports. Thank you for your attention to this matter,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, thanking everyone for their attention to the Epstein matter that he just drew attention to by claiming he’s been exonerated.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Palestinians overtake Israelis on American sympathies: Gallup poll

5 minutes ago

Huckabee tells Americans to GTFO of Israel

33 minutes ago

US laser shoots down US drone on US soil

10 hours ago

Pakistani jets bomb Kabul

11 hours ago

Byron Donalds disagrees with Stitt fact-checking MAGA bullshit

12 hours ago

Indiana school bus driver manages incredible four year streak of drinking on the job without getting caught and immediately fired

13 hours ago

Netflix capitulates in WB bidding war

14 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Hillary unbowed by Comer’s dumbassery

15 hours ago

Stephen Miller “repelled” by Noem-Lewandowski affair: book

16 hours ago

Tampa International Airport’s Crocs ban sadly just a joke

16 hours ago

Zohran comes out victorious again

17 hours ago

Convicted attempted murderer accused of succeeding on cellmate

17 hours ago

Trump kayfabes a world where he obeys court orders

18 hours ago

Surreptitious shot, consequential chaser

19 hours ago

New Doritos Protein to boost Doritos eaters’ athletic edge

19 hours ago

Orange God Emperor hears out “Stop the Steal” assclowns’ plan for him to declare “national election emergency” ahead of midterms

20 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump sends JD to lie to voters about US economy

20 hours ago

Los Supremos again postpone Carroll v Trump conference

21 hours ago

“Prosthetic butthole” dominating entertainment news coverage

22 hours ago

Biden didn’t release those missing FBI interviews either, libs

22 hours ago

State of the Union ratings lowest ever for Trump

23 hours ago

DINGUS RESIGNS: Thran to be sworn in as acting mayor

23 hours ago

House Republicans can’t stand being associated with sick sex pest

24 hours ago

WEF chairman quits over Epstein ties

1 day ago

Cubans claim Floridians were trying some mini-Bay of Pigs

1 day ago

Hardcore anti-Trump Villager’s MAGA kids don’t really talk to him

1 day ago

Oz and Jaydee announce Medicaid punishment for Minnesotans

2 days ago

Six percent of Trump 2024 voters now disclaim it: pollster

2 days ago

Venezuela attorney general quits

2 days ago

Misogyny okay because a trans swimmer got a bigger trophy

2 days ago

Drunk Republican voter rear-ends cop car at 3:06 pm on a Tuesday

2 days ago

Cuban troops neutralize four suspected Floridian terrorists

2 days ago

“Johnny MAGA” doxxed as White House comms office staffer

2 days ago

New York Times now covering the missing Trump-Epstein docs

2 days ago

Fat, insecure man-baby lets brown Muslim women get to him

2 days ago

Larry Summers resigns from made-up Harvard job

2 days ago

Theoretical threat of summary executions in 2028 effective at quashing impeachment bid against Philippines VP Sara Duterte

2 days ago

Jaydee blamemaxxes Biden when poll-mogged on Fox News

2 days ago

DSCC spending early in Alaska

2 days ago

Regime weighs ordering banks to collect citizenship info

2 days ago

Steve Scalise’s math the least stupid part of his pitch to voters

2 days ago

Mandelson, Andrew facing life in prison

2 days ago

Seattle vagrant’s daring escapes from cops undone by low stamina

2 days ago

CNN snap poll ratings worse than Trump’s 2018 State of the Union

2 days ago

Fox and Friends platforms Spanberger’s rebuttal for some reason

2 days ago

Florida Everglades wildfire grows to 15,000 acres

2 days ago

Al Green removed for holding up “Black People Aren’t Apes” sign

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: The People’s State of The Union

2 days ago

Blackburn delivers for Tennesseeans

3 days ago

Tony Dorkoupil already doomed at CBS: report

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x