Maybe if I spent more time at shady parties with monied insiders I would’ve won. I heard you’d know a bit about that. You’ve always been a dick by the way. Grifting off your daddy like a suckling little doggie. When I first met you in the panhandle I knew you were a piece of…

— Dan Bongino (@dbongino) January 6, 2026

“When I first met you in the panhandle I knew you were a piece of shit. It’s written all over that phony face of yours,” the reply from Dan Bongino continued after the cutoff.

Gaetz wrote that in response to the now-former Deputy FBI Director’s little pep talk of “We’ve got midterms coming up, and there’s no time for bullshit. This administration is cooking and REAL change simmers. If you’re spending your entire day bitching and whining with 3/4ths of the term still to go, then please find the exits. There’s no time for it. It’s not ‘infighting’ when you excise a cancer killing the host. It’s ‘outfighting’ because you’re not part of any movement I’m familiar with.”

Chinese state food collective Sinograin on Tuesday bought up 10 million tons of American-grown soybeans, getting close to the 12 million tons Treasury Suckretary/soybean farmer Scott Bessent had pledged to offload to the ChiComs by the end of February, Reuters reports on a belated win.

This of course still is less than half of the 26.8 million tons sold to China in 2024, back before the vast majority of the farmers voted to return their Orange Mao to the White House.

After probably quietly realizing that it might not go over so well with the general public – and/or that some retailers might, not entirely unreasonably, believe they’re fake – the US Mint evidently have quietly scrapped plans to feature convicted felon President Trump’s face on this year’s line of special 250th anniversary coins, the Washington Examiner reports with a full display of the coin designs.

As billed, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries is chairing a pseudo-hearing marking the fifth anniversary of convicted felon President Trump’s violent coup attempt to remain in power.

Former federal prosecutor and Politico columnist Ankush Khardori argues in a Tuesday piece that January 6 pipe bomber Brian Cole – technically a “suspect” but the dude already confessed – that the text of convicted felon President Trump’s January 20, 2025 proclamation granting “a full, complete and unconditional pardon to all other individuals convicted of offenses related to events that occurred at or near the United States Capitol on January 6, 2021,” makes it all but ceratin Cole’s lawyers can get the case tossed pretty quickly given the amnesty’s stupidly broad scope.

“Last week, the Justice Department went out of its way during the court hearing to avoid using any phrases that might immediately connect Cole’s alleged crimes to Jan 6, but prosecutors’ efforts were so obvious, that they had the effect of drawing more attention to it. The government’s pre-hearing brief also appears designed to skirt this issue and put the most Trump-friendly spin on Cole’s motive for his alleged crimes – though ultimately not very convincingly,” Khardori writes.

Northern California MAGA Congressman Doug LaMalfa, who was all but certain to retire or just lose after Prop 50 blued up his district, has died suddenly at the age of 65, Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman reports on the reaper working against Mike Johnson after coming through for him thrice last year.

The House is now 218 Republican to 213 Democratic, soon to be 218 R – 215 D and it’s definitely worth questioning whether the GOP will be able to recruit a candidate to serve like what, six months at most, before the district gets nuked and if the seat might just flip D early anyway.

The upshot is that Dems taking the House before 2027 cannot be ruled out. The next special is in Texas on the 31st and that’s a guaranteed Dem hold. After that Mikie Sherrill’s seat, which brings it to 218 – 215 D/R. GA-14 is guaranteed red so then it’s 219 – 215. Flipping CA-1 would bring us to 219 R – 216 D. Sherman adds that 80 year-old Indiana Republican Jim Baird has been hospitalized after a car accident, who knows how bad it is. In any case Johnson’s hanging on by an ever-thinning thread.

When you think of it, when he’s asked by CNBC’s Andrew Ross Sorkin if he supports “the pardon of Hernandez, the former president of Honduras for what effectively looks like the same thing as Maduro,” Republican House Intel Committee chair Rick Crawford is saying here, “I don’t have the information the president had. I don’t get to weigh in on those particular things,” is like Sorkin might as well be asking Robert F Kennedy Jr or Corey Lewandowski the same question and getting the same response because, as officials who serve at convicted felon President Trump’s pleasure, they don’t get to “weigh in” on those kinds of decisions. Crawford however is a duly elected member of a co-equal branch of the government and he not only “gets to” have opinions on such matters, it’s actually his responsibility to do so and yeah no shit Republicans in Congress have abandoned even the thinnest pretenses of acting to uphold that sacred duty to the American people and so on.

Still you’d think they would at least lie about it and say they’re dedicated to conducting rigorous oversight of presidential actions. Even just saying he agrees with Trump that Hernandez was a victim of Biden lawfare would arguably be in a way less nakedly embarrassing and disgraceful.

“California, under Gov Gavin Newscum, is more corrupt than Minnesota, if that’s possible??? The Fraud Investigation of California has begun. Thank you for your attention to this matter!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday, likely notifying Attorney General Pam Bondi that she’s now investigating the “fraud” in California and expects her to tweet that the probe is underway.

The post followed a personification of his tariff policy with “The USA markets just hit another ALL TIME HIGH – ALL OF THEM!!! THANK YOU YOU MISTER TARIFF!!! PRAY THAT THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT ALLOWS OUR COUNTRY TO CONTINUE ITS UNPRECEDENTED MARCH TOWARD UNPARALLELED GREATNESS! BOTH OUR NATIONAL AND FINANCIAL SECURITY HAVE NEVER BEEN STRONGER!” Or maybe Trump was speaking in the third person and he’s “MISTER TARIFF.”

While the fat fucking-idiot-in-chief and his bald Nazi minion Stephen Miller run their mouths about seizing control of Greenland through military means, sources tell the Economist a more serious effort to steer the vast, frozen island’s nascent independence movement toward entering into a “Compact of Free Association” with the United States after severing ties with Denmark is quietly underway, resurfacing a less imperialistic plan for semi-sovereignty first reported by Reuters last year.

The precedent for this exists in the Pacific where three tiny states – Palau, Micronesia, and the Marshall Islands – signed on to such a compact after achieving quasi-independence from the US in the 1980s. For Greenland it’d be more or less simply switching from Denmark to the United States.

But as with everything Trump and Greenland what could in theory work and be equitable under a chemically-balanced president who doesn’t simply cancel programs and funding on a whim. They have no reason whatsoever to trust the fat fuck and should just stay away at all costs.

Who is in charge of Venezuela after Nicolas Maduro’s capture?@ByronYork questions whether interim president Delcy Rodríguez can be an ally to the U.S. after she was “living and prospering” under the regime. pic.twitter.com/oIoU3Ltkgc

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) January 6, 2026

A number of the more pilled January 6th insurrectionists are, since getting fucking pardoned on day one wasn’t enough, outraged at the Trump Regime over the lack of validation for their insane conspiracy theories that they were somehow entrapped by Deep State agents into sacking the US Capitol and are especially furious that the five year statute of limitations on charging said nonexistent agents expires Tuesday, the New York Times reports in a review of the overall dirtscape.

“President Trump campaigned on there being feds in the crowd that stirred up trouble, but we haven’t seen any action against them yet. The bottom line is we’d like to see some action,” said Will Pope, one of the rioters, who was never going to see any action and now he really won’t.

“If the true perpetrators of Jan 6 aren’t held accountable before the statute of limitations expires on Jan 6, 2026, count me OUT of the midterms. I’ll be running AGAINST the GOP,” tweeted felon rioter Shane Jenkins, who smashed a window with a tomahawk and threw a desk at Capitol cops.

Parallel to this “fedsurrection” dead end is the similarly imminent failure of an effort to set up some sort of public compensation fund for the offenders, largely spearheaded by St Louis Man-Karen Mark McCloskey – the now-disbarred ambulance chaser MAGA famous for parlaying his pointing an AR-15 at Black Lives Matter protestors into an embarrassing shitshow of a 2022 US Senate primary campaign – and Peter Ticktin, Trump’s assclown military boarding school roommate who in 2023 got himself, Alina Habba, and the Orange God Emperor hit with nearly $1 million in sanctions by a Florida federal judge for gross incompetence in handling their failed lawsuit against Hillary Clinton et al for the Russia investigation that largely consumed the first half of Trump’s first failed administration.

The now week-long protests over economic conditions in Iran have claimed at least 35 lives, just two of them members of security forces, the AP reports citing estimates compiled by the US-based Human Rights Activists News Agency. Guess Tehran isn’t all that interested in hearing out convicted felon President Trump’s threats against their leadership over killing civilian protestors.

So kind of Sean Hannity to give Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado valuable airtime to plead with the Orange Tyant to endorse her as the next leader of her country and offer to “share” her Nobel Peace Prize with him. That however will not be good enough. The medal and official certificate need be surrendered in full to his corpulence, plus the 11 million Swedish krona in cash before he even considers it. Render unto Caesar, you lowly, undeserving Nobel-stealing puke.

“About time. I feel for legitimate recipients but their inept democratic politicians put them in this position. The fraud is rampant and these politicians benefited from supporting these fraudsters will kickback campaign support or even more in some cases” – Top comment on the New York Post article “Trump cuts off $10B in funding to five blue states for child care, social services over fraud fears,” posted Monday after Trump told them he’s pulling the plug on money for California, Colorado, Illinois, Minnesota, and New York. Those toddlers will understand… Eventually, if they don’t already.

Lost count of how many times Ol’ Gymbo insisted his Orange Dom commands trust.

“Pregnant Women, DON’T USE TYLENOL UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY, DON’T GIVE TYLENOL TO YOUR YOUNG CHILD FOR VIRTUALLY ANY REASON, BREAK UP THE MMR SHOT INTO THREE TOTALLY SEPARATE SHOTS (NOT MIXED!), TAKE CHICKEN P SHOT SEPARATELY, TAKE HEPATITAS B SHOT AT 12 YEARS OLD, OR OLDER, AND, IMPORTANTLY, TAKE VACCINE IN 5 SEPARATE MEDICAL VISITS!” POSTED PRESIDENT TRUMP on Monday, spelling hepatitis like a fucking idiot.

Rhode Island Republican Party Chairman Joe Powers on Sunday announcing his resignation from his post effective January 15th because he has a day job which prevents him from devoting himself to running a major political party in one of the 50 states in the union, the Rhode Island Current reports.

“The role of Chairman demands constant focus and daily engagement, especially moving into an election year, neither of which Chairman Powers can provide at this time,” said the party in a press release while Powers was in Tampa to meet with a client for his consulting business. Powers had a rough time winning reelection to a second two-year term last year, which was actually the first contested party leadership race in 30 years, yet he’s gotta pay the bills with his day job.

Who the hell knows how many of the state Republican or Democratic party chairs are actually paid positions. Texas GOP’s chairmanship is a $150,000/year job, the Arizona Dem chair is a $12,000 per month “contract” position. Those are just anecdotes and there’s no comprehensive list, but one can imagine that the size of the party/state as well as its electorate’s competitiveness probably corresponds to it and as such the Rhode Island GOP chair is probably ranked somewhere around the Wyoming Dem chair in pay/benefits – if any. Still at the same time maybe part of the reason that Rhody is such a deep Blue State has to do with the fact that the GOP chair would quit to devote more time to his day job and that making it a paid, full-time professional position could end up being a wise investment. If nothing else they could at least get someone to funnel more money to the national party by going down to Newport yacht clubs to hustle the Roman numeral Brahmins.

“AEM, the essential source for environmental insights, today released its 2025 US Lightning Report, revealing that Oklahoma has dethroned Florida to become the nation’s lightning concentration capital. With approximately 73 flashes per square mile, Oklahoma displaced the state that has traditionally dominated this ranking, signaling a broader surge in lightning activity across the Great Plains. Overall, AEM’s Earth Networks Total Lightning Network® detected nearly 430 million lightning pulses within 88.4 million lightning flashes across the US in 2025, a 9.8 percent increase from the prior year,” says AEM in a press release on Florida getting zapped from the top spot.

“While Oklahoma led in lightning concentration, Texas dominated in sheer volume and storm intensity. The state recorded more than 13 million lightning flashes, exceeding its historical average by 1.3 million. As an additional indicator of storm severity derived from lightning behavior, Texas also registered the highest number of Dangerous Thunderstorm Alerts (DTAs), a proprietary AEM metric that flags periods of exceptionally intense lightning rates associated with severe storms and provides an early signal of rapidly intensifying thunderstorm activity. Overall, the Great Plains accounted for roughly half of the top 10 states with the most intense lightning storms, underscoring the region’s reputation as a severe weather hotspot,” the fucking electrifying statement continued.

Asked by CNN’s Manu Raju if he’s okay with convicted felon President Trump now claiming the United States runs Venezuela, Senate Majority Leader John Thune said “Well, we’re gonna try and get more information about that,” adding his team will be briefed on the matter this week.

Asked again what he thought Trump meant, Thune said simply he’s “hoping to find out more.”