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“A reasonable person wouldn’t think a sandwich is a weapon”

Jurors who acquitted DC sandwich terrorist Sean Dunn tell CBS News that deliberations were trickier and lasted longer than one would first assume given that two of the 12 had initially voted to find Dunn guilty of the misdemeanor charge brought by US Attorney Jeanine “Judge Box-o-Wine” Pirro after she failed at least once to get a grand jury to stick him with a felony assault count.

“I thought we’d be out of there quickly. This case had no ‘grounding.’ He threw a sandwich at the agent because he knew it wouldn’t hurt. A reasonable person wouldn’t think a sandwich is a weapon,” said one of the jurors, explaining that the two holdouts were afraid of sending a message that it’s okay to throw shit at federal law enforcement officers. Not the worst reason for it and certainly better than simple politics. Obviously the holdouts ended up caving, otherwise there would’ve been a mistrial, something the jurors credited the foreperson’s management skills with.

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Thailand attacks Cambodian border positions

However many wars convicted felon President Trump claims to have solved at this point make that one fewer as a new flare-up of violence has killed at least one Thai soldier and four Cambodian civilians along the disputed border between the two Southeast Asian countries, the AP reports.

“Thailand has never wished for violence. I’d like to reiterate that Thailand has never initiated a fight or an invasion, but will never tolerate a violation of its sovereignty,” said Thai Prime Minister Anutin Charnvirakul said in a televised speech after the the flare-up of the carnage.

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Judge blocks Regime from certain “evidence” against Comey

Convicted felon President Trump’s minions working to get a grand jury to return another bullshit indictment against former FBI Director James Comey will have to do so without access to certain “evidence” – apparently obtained without a warrant – from Comey’s friend and advisor Dan Richman, CNN reports. Comey may or may not have relied on Richman to act as a cut-out to feed leaks to the media during the 2016-2017 investigations into Trump and his minions’ connections to Russia.

Which is the entire premise of the alleged perjury case against him, that Richman was employed by the FBI at the time that Comey used him as the cut-out and Comey said no when Ted Cruz asked him about that during a hearing – in pretty the most confusing way possible. The whole thing’s so deep in the weeds on top of being incredibly fucking stupid and on top of that having been rushed by an extremely incompetent insurance lawyer a few days into her new job as the top prosecutor in what’s arguably the third or fourth most important federal court jurisdictions in the United States.

Oh and then there’s also the unanswered question of whether any new indictment would be lawful given that the statute of limitations expired just days after the first one was returned.

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Eric Schmitt TOTALLY PWNS Slopodopoulos: Live Updates

Stung by ABC’s George Stephanopoulos’s skepticism that he knows nothing about Trump pardoning former Honduran President/drug cartel boss Juan Orlando Hernandez, Republican Missouri Senator Eric Schmitt on Sunday shot back and exposed Slopodopoulos’s skepticism as a “Democrat talking point,” and then utterly demolishing the biased propagandist with the receipts on his terrible ratings.

BOOM!

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“More of a narrative thing than a substantive thing”

An anonymous White House aide tells NBC News that the Trump Maladministration is “now cleaning up what” Democrats “still don’t have any actual solutions for. It’s more of a narrative thing than a substantive thing,” while hyping up convicted felon President Trump’s upcoming economic speech in Pennsylvania. “With the trip coming up here, it’s more to reiterate or underscore that we’ve been working on this since Day 1. That’s not changing anytime soon,” the Trump minion continued.

That anonymous quote in the middle of a lengthy story headlined “Republicans worry they’re not doing enough on affordability” pretty perfectly nails exactly where everyone who had been paying attention a year ago thought we’d be right about now: Trump and his ball-sucking cultists loved inflation when it was something to campaign on, hate it now that it’s continued – and in many respects gotten worse – on their watch. The “solution” under a second Biden or first Harris term was to not do anything drastic and just let wage growth catch up with prices eventually. But it’s hard to campaign on that so instead we got fucking tariffs, deliberate expiration of government health insurance subsidies, and mass deportations of cheap labor in the housing, restaurant, agricultural, and other sectors sensitive to shortages – “substantive” shit that Dems can and will run on.

Again, this is how they’re hyping Trump’s upcoming road show – if it even happens.

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Henry Cuellar wants Jim Jordan to probe his case’s prosecutors

Newly-pardoned corrupt Democratic Texas Congressman Henry Cuellar tells Politico he’s asked House Republicans, specifically spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan, to investigate the federal prosecutors who charged him and his wife with accepting $600,000 worth of bribes from some Mexican and Azerbaijani scumbags and nearly got them put in prison for God knows how long.

“I really think what they did was wrong,” Cuellar said on Friday, apparently continuing to play along with the kayfabe so he can get reelected since well he’s already been pardoned.

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Bethlehem has a Christmas tree again for the first time since 2022

After two years of cancelation by secularist globalist Benjamin Netanyahu’s genocidal wars, Palestinian Christians in Jesus Christ’s birthplace of Bethlehem are saying Merry Christmas again and have lit up the Little Town’s Christmas tree hoping for tourists to show up and celebrate where it all started, the BBC reports on a triumph for Christianity over the haters and losers.

“It’s been a bad two years of silence; no Christmas, no jobs, no work,” says Bethlehem Mayor Maher Canawati. “We’re all living here from tourism and tourism was down to zero. Some may say it’s not appropriate and others say it’s appropriate. But deep inside my heart, I felt this was the right thing to do because Christmas should never be stopped or cancelled. This is the light of hope for us.”

Cope and seethe, you “Happy Holidays”-loving woke Marxist pussies. Merry Christmas is back.

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Orange Fatass spending his weekend productively

“Why would Fox and Friends Weekend (of all things?) put on a ‘Stockbroker’ named Peter Schiff, a Trump hating loser who has already proven to be wrong. Either the show made a mistake, or it is heading in a different direction. He thinks prices are going up when, in fact, they are coming substantially down. Gasoline hit $1.99 a gallon yesterday, in certain states, and is down BIG since Biden. Other prices are almost all down. Biden caused the AFFORDABILITY CRISIS, I’M FIXING IT, along with everything else! Much of it, like the Border, is already fixed. Check out the ‘booker’ who put this jerk on!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Saturday morning.

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Grijalva says she was pepper-sprayed by some ICE asshole

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MAGA Florida gov hopeful’s former underage girlfriend speaks up

Longshot MAGA Republican Florida gubernatorial hopeful James Fishback appears to be even a longer shot as state propaganda outlet Florida’s Voice decided to do some actual journalism for a change and wrote a deeply reported piece on how Fishback, about 30 or 31, had a then-16 year-old girlfriend living with him as recently as 2021. The now-legal adult woman, Keniah Fort, laid it all out in a petition for a restraining order filed back in January, accusing Fishback of effectively grooming her.

It’s not like this asshole ever had a serious chance against Trump-endorsed ex-felon Congressman Byron Donalds but it’s just funny how rigorous and professional a freaking Pravda like Florida’s Voice can be when they want to squash a pest skittering around the state Republican Party.

Otherwise it’s just styrofoam agitprop starring assclowns like “Randy Fine rips Democrats, calls illegal immigration the top driver of unaffordability” as though that fat fuck doesn’t have a Papa John’s employing undocumented workers from Pakistan on speed dial. Or a Little Caesars, whatever.

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Netflix buying up Warner Bros… in theory

Netflix on Friday announced they’ve outbid Paramount-Skydance in the quest to buy up Warner Bros, a merger that will theoretically happen if for some reason convicted felon President Trump and his incel fanboy Brendan Carr don’t find a way to block it because Netflix is “woke” and signed that multi-million dollar documentary production deal with Barack Obama, CNBC reports.

However the acquisition will still end up seeing CNN, TNT, the Discovery Channel, and other cable networks spun off into a separate entity that would be prey for some MAGA billionaire to gut CNN and inevitably turn it into a state media propaganda outlet like the Ellisons did with CBS.

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K$H used FBI agents as Uber drivers for his woman’s drunk friends

FBI Director K$H Patel, already taking shit from all sides due to his profligate waste, fraud, and abuse of federal taxpayer resources – as well as just overall gross incompetence – appears to have topped even himself sources tell MS Now that Patel on at least two occasions ordered FBI agents on the security detail protecting his girlfriend, 27 year-old country “star” Alexis Wilkins – who shouldn’t even have a security detail in the first place – to escort her friends home after a night out drinking.

At least one of these times Patel personally called the agent in charge of the detail and yelled at them to drive Wilkins’s friend home from some club in Nashville, over that agent’s objections.

“Not only is the assignment of FBI SWAT personnel to a security detail to protect his girlfriend inappropriate, directing these highly trained professionals to babysit his girlfriend’s friend is outrageous, and demonstrative of Kash Patel’s complete lack of judgment and integrity,” said former FBI agent and MS Now contributor Christopher O’Leary. “FBI agents serve the public and swear an oath to protect and defend the Constitution. This is clearly a long way from that.”

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Chicago’s Christians too liberal, says Jewish conservative

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ChiComs impose 13 percent tax on condoms

In a bid to reverse what’s pretty much already an inevitable demographic dead end that will have catastrophic consequences in the coming decades, Chinese communist officials this week imposed a 13 percent tax on condoms as their means of increasing birth rates, NewsNation reports.

Decent quality standard Trojan-brand condoms, despite global inflation, cost 45 cents each going by a $15.97 price on Amazon for a 36 pack, which a 13 percent take would jack up to $18.04 or 50 cents each. Going further into speculating what folks in China are paying for their condoms or what a minimum viable product runs for would just be belaboring the point about how panicky and stupid this looks to outsiders, that a 13 percent sales tax on condoms is going to undo the societal damage caused by 36 years of the one-child policy. They’d seriously be better off officially adopting the Catholic Church as the state religion if they want to encourage more procreation.

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Bondi commands DOJ to pursue evil leftist groups

Dipshit Attorney General Pam Bondi on Thursday remembered she was supposed to be making a big thing out of pursuing Antifa and other leftist groups, commanding her minions to do just that in a memo obtained by Reuters. “These ‌domestic terrorists use violence or the threat of violence to advance political and social agendas, including opposition to law and immigration enforcement; extreme views in favor of mass migration and open ⁠borders; adherence to radical ​gender ideology, anti-Americanism, anti-capitalism, or ​anti-Christianity,” Bondi wrote.

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Toy Soldiers, or why you only matter if Democrats can be blamed

First, foremost, and no matter what else it’s a horrific tragedy that two young members of the West Virginia National Guard were shot last week while on deployment in DC – Spc Sarah Beckstrom, 20, who succumbed to her wounds last Thursday, and Staff Sgt Andrew Wolfe, 24, who WVNews.com reports is able to make a thumbs up, still faces a long road to recovery after taking shots fired by deranged Afghan refugee Rahmanullah Lakanwal, who entered in 2021 after Kabul fell to the Taliban.

Lakanwal, wounded in the shooting, suffers from severe mental illness and who the hell knows what prompted him to drive from Washington state to DC to fire at some National Guard troops just doing their job, even if the “job” was just bullshit optics for the Trump Regime. As much as the deployment was unnecessary and Trump just playing toy soldiers – and ballsucker West Virginia Gov Patrick Morrisey playing along to gain political favor with the Orange Toddler – nobody can seriously argue either were putting the troops in any more danger than the regular federal law enforcement agents/cops posted outside of major sites/buildings in and around the National Mall area.

Before last week’s shooting a freaking Subway sandwich to the torso was the worst thing that happened to any of the personnel on the streets during this “surge” into the nation’s capital. It’s not like DC is Fallujah and Trump was ordering them into deadly battles with armed insurgents.

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“Shade” is “Gen-Z slang for ‘disrespect'”: MassLive.com

Yo Boomers, Gen Xers, and Millennials, check it: “Shade” means “disrespect” in Gen Z slang, according to MassLive.com’s article about a Brookline, Massachusetts teenager whose prank Google Maps submission ended up becoming a real street name. Pretty ratchet, right?!?

Ughhh man. Hasn’t “shade” been around for like 10, maybe 15 years by now? Jesus Christ, lol. What makes it even more ridiculous is that the “clarification” distracts from the overall point of the article, which is pretty funny and interesting in and of itself, a 21st century version of the “Paper Town” of Agloe, New York. Shortest version possible: Back when commercially-produced paper maps were the only way to get driving directions, plagiarism was rampant. If you owned a printing press why bother with putting in all the work to create and draw your own maps when you could just buy one from a bigger company and copy their drawings? It got to the point where mapping drafters selling their work to Esso in the 1920s started putting fake towns on their maps in order to catch scammers, one of them being “Agloe,” placed at the intersection of two country roads in Delaware County.

Then in the 1930s Rand McNally printed a map with Agloe on it and Esso thought they caught them stealing their work, buuuuut turned out that some family had opened up “Agloe Lodge Farms” at the intersection, thus making the paper town real. The name persisted for decades – even though nobody actually lived there after the lodge closed – into the 1990s when Rand McNally removed it.

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