Hmmm… Maybe should’ve saved “Karoline’s Khristmas Special” for next week in case she does actually hold one closer to Christmas. Still leaves a whole week to come up with another headline.

Dog-murdering Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem on Thursday got up and left the room during a hearing of the House committee that oversees her department, saying simply “I have to actually leave this hearing early” and spewing some bullshit about a FEMA council something something that evidently provided a convenient enough excuse for her to book it.

Just throwing this out there that maybe, just maybe, Dem Seth Magaziner confronting her with a live Zoom call with a Korean-born combat veteran deported earlier this year because of some minor drug conviction from the 1990s and THEN the combat veteran husband of an Irish-born woman who’s been in the gulag for four months because she wrote bad checks for $80 a decade ago. That Magaziner asked Noem to thank both for their service probably led to her early exit.

Congressional Dems led by California Senator Adam Schiff on Thursday sent a letter to the Justice Department’s Inspector General’s Office demanding that an “audit” be conducted “to reassure the American public that any files released have not been tampered with or concealed, the chain of custody forms associated with records and evidence in the Epstein files must be accounted for, analyzed, and released,” CBS News reports on what’s obviously pretty goddamned necessary given the amount of FBI man-hours put in to redacting the Orange God Emperor’s name from the files.

Separately, lawyers for the Epstein survivors tell CBS they’ll stand up a third-party review process to check if any record has been “scrubbed, softened, or quietly removed before the public sees it.”

Shitbag Secretary of State Marco Rubio and other Trump minions are making moves toward revoking the green cards of former European Union Commissioner Thierry Breton and Imran Ahmed, CEO and founder of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, for their sin of a $140 million fine that the European Union levied against Twitter for breaches of the Digital Services Act surrounding transparency, Zeteo reports on Ketamine Brain working his tentacles back into the Trump Regime.

The move would be in lockstep with a State Department directive issued last week for work visa reviewers to scrutinize if applicants have worked for entities combatting online disinfo/propaganda.

“STOCK MARKET JUST HIT AN ALL-TIME HIGH!!! When will the Fake Polls show that I am doing a great job on the Economy, and much more??? Thank you!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, effectively demanding that the “fake polls” be faked to be much more favorable to him.

It’s not clear why he won’t just launch his own polling operation to make shit up for him.

“In March 2025, a few months into Donald Trump’s second term, his overall job approval was 42 percent. Similar shares approved of how he was handling of the economy (40 percent) and immigration (49 percent). Since then, fewer adults have a positive view of how Trump is handling his job overall, the economy, and immigration. Border security remains his best issue on the poll with 50 percent approval, including getting positive marks from nearly all Republicans, 19 percent of Democrats, and 36 percent of independents,” says the toplines to the latest AP-NORC national survey, which found the fat bastard’s overall job approval at a gutter 36 percent.

From the intro to Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier’s complaint against Starbucks: “1. All racial discrimination, even for supposedly benign purposes, is invidious and unlawful. 2. Defendant Starbucks Coffee Company, however, has refused to abide by this legal and moral commitment to equality. For the past five years and continuing to the present day, Defendant has excluded or disfavored nonminorities in numerous employment practices and programs. 3. Defendant has: (1) established racial quotas and goals for hiring; (2) paid employees different wages because of their race; (3) tied executive compensation to participation in race-based mentorship programs open only to persons of certain favored races and race-based retention rates of employees; and (4) excluded people of disfavored races from networking and mentorship opportunities.”

“4. But civil rights protections extend to everyone—both minorities and nonminorities. 5. A desire to promote “diversity” does not give Defendant a free pass to discriminate against persons of certain disfavored races (that is, white people, and until last year, multiracial and Asian people). Doing so violates Florida civil rights law,” the lawsuit, filed Wednesday in a Florida court, continued.

Is the power demand for A.I. data centers impacting the electric bills of everyday Americans?@SecretaryBurgum says that is "100 PERCENT FALSE." pic.twitter.com/I0pZXPdiqQ

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) December 11, 2025

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime have already threatened the International Criminal Court with sanctions if they do not preemptively and publicly guarantee immunity for the fat bastard, binge-drinking date-rapist Pete Hegseth, and other top officials for the war crimes they’ve already committed and, presumably, the ones to come in the next three years, Reuters reports.

“There is growing concern… that in 2029 the ICC will turn its attention to the president, to the vice president, to the secretary of war and others, and pursue prosecutions against them,” an plainly terrified anonymous Trump minion said. “That is unacceptable, and we will not allow it to happen.”

Gee, why would they ever be concerned about the ICC prosecuting Trump? And, to drop the tedious sarcasm for a minute, this team’s ability to Streisand Effect their liabilities is unparalleled. Reuters notes in their report that Republicans have already sanctioned nine ICC officials for issuing arrest warrants against Israeli dictator Benjamin Netanyahu and former Defense Minister Yoav Gallant for their genocidal campaign in Gaza. However they have yet to sanction the court itself, which the article says “would severely disrupt the tribunal’s work.” Try to picture for a minute how bad of a look that would be that the court that has brought some of the world’s most notorious butchers to justice is bricked because Trump and Hegseth fear being entombed in the same cell block as former Philippines dictator Rodrigo Duterte and Serbian warlord Ratko Mladic. On top of that, Reuters writes that “Any effort to change the Rome Statute to accommodate the US demand would be slow and difficult, requiring approval of two-thirds of countries that have ratified the Rome Statute” which, pointedly, the US has not ratified, is not a party to the ICC, and thus has no official say.

And THEN who says the next Dem president is going to be bound to honor that agreement?

“Fire-making is a uniquely human innovation that stands apart from other complex behaviours such as tool production, symbolic culture and social communication. Controlled fire use provided adaptive opportunities that had profound effects on human evolution. Benefits included warmth, protection from predators, cooking and creation of illuminated spaces that became focal points for social interaction,” says new research from a team led by British Museum egghead Nick Ashton.

“Fire use developed over a million years, progressing from harvesting natural fire to maintaining and ultimately making fire. However, determining when and how fire use evolved is challenging because natural and anthropogenic burning are hard to distinguish. Although geochemical methods have improved interpretations of heated deposits, unequivocal evidence of deliberate fire-making has remained elusive. Here we present evidence of fire-making on a 400,000-year-old buried land surface at Barnham (UK), where heated sediments and fire-cracked flint hand-axes were found alongside two fragments of iron pyrite—a mineral used in later periods to strike sparks with flint.”

“Geological studies show that pyrite is locally rare, suggesting it was brought deliberately to the site for fire-making. The emergence of this capability provided important social and adaptive benefits, including the ability to cook food on demand—particularly meat—thereby enhancing digestibility and energy availability, which may have been crucial for hominin brain evolution,” rhe abstract continued, curiously absent any mention of malicious arson or more innocuous types of arson.

Eight boys, aged 14 or 15, all players on the Philly’s United Thoroughbreds were arrested in Polk County, Florida over the weekend when they were caught trying to shaft a Dick’s Sporting Goods store out of $2,000 worth of products of an unspecified nature, NBC Philadelphia reports.

The squad, visiting Florida for a championship game in some sort of travel conference, immediately suspended the players, which may or may not have cost the team the Saturday night game. All eight of the teens were taken to a juvenile detention center in Florida and face two felony charges: retail theft over $750 and conspiracy to commit retail theft, according to the Sheriff’s office.

In almost completely unrelated news, CNN reports the University of Michigan fired football head coach Sherrone Moore on Wednesday after the school said he was “engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a staff member,” which means that he was staffing her with his member. Or he liked to be touched down there. He was totally scoring. Going deep. Getting new stuff from Dick’s.

Nobody talk about “end zones” or “tight ends” here. That’s going too far, okay? Keep it semi-classy.

Republican Nassau County Executive Bruce Blakeman was “encouraged” by convicted felon President Trump not to launch a gubernatorial campaign and thus have to face Donald’s already-anointed favorite scumbag Elise Stefanik in a primary but that command was ignored and Blakeman last week went ahead and launched his bid anyway, New York Magazine reports on the Orange God Emperor yet again being disrespected by his once-far-more-fanatically loyal minions.

The fat bastard kicked things off by bragging about the Navy seizing a Venezuelan oil tanker because who the hell knows why that was justified if there’s not already an all-out war.

Former “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” star Jen Shah, who did 33 months into what was originally sentenced as a 6.5 year bid for some telemarketing scam, was released Wednesday morning from the Club Fed in Bryan, Texas, having cashed out her good behavior credits to get out early, People Magazine reports on the reality TV bullshit National Zero mostly ignores until it matters.

If someone’s enough of an attention whore as to want to be on a reality show in the first place then where better to be than positioned to command a shit ton of media coverage after having lived for the past four or five months with a notorious sex offender who for some reason gets unlimited free toilet paper? As a known-enough entity, Shah can and hopefully will do a shit ton to refocus the public on the bubble-wrapping of Ghislaine Maxwell after having bore witness to it firsthand.

One catch though: The Bureau of Prisons confirmed to People that “Jennifer Shah transferred on December 10, 2025, from the Federal Prison Camp (FPC) Bryan to community confinement overseen by the Bureau of Prisons’ (BOP) Phoenix Residential Reentry Management (RRM) Office. Community confinement means the inmate is in either home confinement or a Residential Reentry Center (RRC, or halfway house). For privacy, safety, and security reasons, we do not disclose an individual’s specific location while in community confinement.” Which sounds more like Shah is still under their thumb and subject to re-incarceration if they piss her off than it doesn’t. Hell for all the rest of us know a “gag order” from talking about Maxwell or really anything FPC Bryan could be a term of this halfway house/home confinement transfer. It’s not clear how long Shah has left until her real release.

Erika Kirk goes absolutely SCORCHED EARTH against evil people monetizing Charlie Kirk's death and attacking her family and the families of those close to Charlie and TPUSA.

The Fox News Anchor audibly gasps LIVE:

"Here's my breaking point. Come after me, call me names, I don't… pic.twitter.com/3EqwpQiw1H

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) December 10, 2025

“On December 8, a pair of twins in Absecon, New Jersey, threatened to kill Department of Homeland Security (DHS) DHS Assistant Secretary Tricia McLaughlin and called to ‘shoot ICE on sight’ on social media. DHS and the Absecon Police Department SWAT team executed a search and arrest warrant for US citizens Ricardo Antonio Roman-Flores and Emilio Roman-Flores. Emilio Roman-Flores is being charged with unlawful possession of an assault weapon, possession of prohibited weapons, conspiracy terroristic threats, criminal coercion, threats, and cyber harassment. Ricardo Antonio Roman-Flores is charged with conspiracy terroristic threats,” says a DHS press release.

“‘Let this be a warning to anyone who dares threaten or attack our brave law enforcement officers,’ said Acting ICE Director Todd Lyons. ‘We will find you, we will arrest you, and we will prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law. We are NOT afraid of you. The extreme rhetoric of the news media, sanctuary politicians, and activists is leading directly to our law enforcement officers facing an 8,000 percent increase in death threats against them. If you threaten our law enforcement or DHS officials, we will hunt you down and you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.’ Both twins are American citizens. They are currently being held by the Absecon Police Department in New Jersey.”

Interesting how these two were nailed within a day of their posts but there doesn’t seem to be any news about MAGA assholes being cuffed for threatening Mark Kelly or Ilhan Omar, etc.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak MAGA Congressman Jim Jordan on Wednesday spoke up at the morning’s all-hands House GOP meeting and, per Punchbowl’s Jake Sherman’s sources, said the party faces two choices on handling healthcare: One is that they suck up to it and add “reforms” to any extension of Obamacare subsidies – as in simply making it shittier and harder to obtain like they did with Medicaid – or the swing-seat “moderates” in the conference will end up joining with Dems on a discharge petition, which would pass easily, and thus no “reforms” to the ACA.

“VERY interesting. Made a lot of ears perk up in the room,” Sherman writes of the reaction.

Meanwhile Politico reports the meeting was otherwise a shitshow. “There was a general uneasiness because nothing is coming together,” one member said. “We wasted so much time,” said another.