And if he does have a " plan" it must be illegal like his last one. I urge readers to send him a bar of soap. He desperately needs a bath.

— Roger Stone (@RogerJStoneJr) October 27, 2025

A known swinger – as in a married person who, along with his spouse, regularly engages in sexual activity with multiple persons on a plastic tarp or “Twister” game mat laid out to protect the carpeting underneath from stains caused by the emissions of bodily fluids – used social media to badmouth the personal hygiene habits of another man on Monday. Though the swinger was not necessarily incorrect in his assessment given the other man’s unkempt appearance, the swinger’s own lifestyle habits render his heavily implied position of superior and irreproachable hygiene questionable at best, outright hypocritical at worst. Some might even prefer a dishevled alcoholic who showers and does his laundry irregularly as the lesser evil if the other is a clean-shaven human petri dish of venereal microbes that have yet to be even classified by modern medicine.

Obese Islamophobe Florida Congressman Randy Fine tells the New York Post he’s urged the Trump Regime’s Department of Justice to “review every naturalization of the past 30 years – starting with [New York City’s all-but-Mayor-Elect Zohran] Mamdani,” because it’s not like unfucking the ACA health insurance situation for his own constituents in the Daytona Beach area is all that pressing.

“I just think we need to take a hard look at how these folks became citizens, and if there is any fraud or any violation of the rules we need to denaturalize and deport,” said Fine, who represents a district in which a KFF study estimates “will see enrollees over age 60, making just over 400 percent federal poverty level, face 2026 ACA premiums that would be, on average, at least four times as high if the enhanced premium tax credits expire,” but Zohran Mamdani’s a foreign-born Muslim socialist.

“I know that there’s a lot of us that are very, very concerned about the enemy within – people who have come to this country to become citizens, to destroy it,” the likely severely diabetic Fine added, focused on threats to his constituents emanating from a city 900 miles away from his district.

Cameroon President Paul Biya, a 92 year-old man who recently made headlines for not being too tired to attend a campaign rally, was on Monday declared by the West African nation’s constitutional court the winner of the 2025 election, the BBC reports on the extension of Biya’s now 43 year-long rule until he’s 99 in 2032 or he finally dies in office, whichever comes first. Biya took 53.7 percent of the vote to runner-up Issa Tchiroma Bakary’s 35.2 percent share of the probably rigged election.

The ballots took a few weeks to count and schools, stores, and other public spaces were closed in several cities, including the capital of Yaounde, in anticipation of violent unrest over the results. It’s not an idle threat as at least four were killed during Sunday clashes between protestors and security forces in Cameroon’s main economic hub of Douala even before the election results dropped.

President Trump arrives in Japan and meets Emperor Naruhito as trade, North Korea and China take center stage before his meeting with Xi Jinping later this week | @pdoocy pic.twitter.com/BugzUFGLcT

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) October 27, 2025

At least they spelled it correctly in the chyron below the yappy nepo-hire.

A Monday morning advisory bulletin from the US National Hurricane Center puts it very plainly to folks in Jamaica about the now-Category 5 Hurricane Melissa with “Do not venture out of your safe shelter. Catastrophic and life-threatening flash flooding and numerous landslides are likely today through Tuesday. Destructive winds, especially in the mountains, will begin by this evening, leading to extensive infrastructural damage, long-lasting power and communication outages, and isolated communities. Life-threatening storm surge and damaging waves are expected along the southern coast through Tuesday,” with similar but more limited warnings for Haiti and the Dominican Republic.

Which puts the range of outcomes for Jamaica somewhere between very bad but manageable and a cataclysmic humanitarian disaster requiring foreign assistance that the Trump Regime will not be offering, nor will it be allowing any meaningful numbers of those affected to travel to the US to seek refuge with friends and relatives already living here. In fact it’s quite likely the suffering will have been made worse for a not-insignificantly-sized cohort who over the last nine months have either been deported back to Jamaica outright or have “self-deported” to avoid the abuses of ICE.

House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries is heading to Illinois on Monday to sell Lincoln State Dem lawmakers – with a focus on the state’s Black legislative caucus – on nuking at least one of the state’s three MAGA congressional districts to offset convicted felon President Trump’s ongoing bid to rig the 2026 midterms to hold on to the GOP’s majority, Punchbowl News reports.

Listen to the whole “gaggle” if you can stomach it:

“After winning THREE Elections, BY A LOT, I am now getting the best Polling Numbers that I have ever received. People see how strong the Economy is, the Trillions of Dollars of Investment pouring into our Country, the Record Setting Strong Border (After years of millions of criminals pouring through it, totally unvetted and unchecked!), ending 8 wars in eight months, no men playing in women’s sports, no transgender for everyone, rapidly falling Energy prices, and much more!”

“Despite all of this, the Radical Left Losers are taking fake ads, not showing REAL Polls, but rather saying that I’m Polling at low levels. These are the people that I’ve been beating for years, and am continuing to do so, but by even bigger margins. These ads should not be allowed to run because they are FAKE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, minutes after another “Truth” in which he professed his excitement to be landing in Japan to meet with the Emperor.

After introducing 86 year-old Iowa soybean farmer Larry Ory and quoting his 37 year-old granddaughter-in-law Summer about how, per Summer, convicted felon President Trump’s policies are forcing them to fight “different economic wars all at once” and that it’s “death by a thousand paper cuts,” in thier Sunday story headlined “In Trump-Friendly Iowa, the President’s Policies Have Hit Hard,” the New York Times writes very plainly that “Ms Ory said she votes in every election, but she, like Mr Ory, declined to say who she cast her ballot for last November.”

The Times then lets the words hang there while showing a photo of Ms Ory with her kids.

🚨🚨BREAKING: A U.S. Navy helicopter and fighter jet from the aircraft carrier USS Nimitz crashed "separately" only 30 minutes apart in the South China Sea, according to a statement from the U.S. Pacific Fleet.🚨🚨 pic.twitter.com/RSQtFYSyZC

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 26, 2025

“What’s worse, the NBA Players cheating at cards, and probably much else, or the Democrats cheating on Elections. The 2020 Presidential Election, being Rigged and Stolen, is a far bigger SCANDAL. Look what happened to our Country when a Crooked Moron became our ‘President!’ We now know everything. I hope the DOJ pursues this with as much ‘gusto’ as befitting the biggest SCANDAL in American history! If not, it will happen again, including the upcoming Midterms. No mail-in or ‘Early’ Voting, Yes to Voter ID! Watch how totally dishonest the California Prop Vote is!”

“Millions of Ballots being ‘shipped.’ GET SMART REPUBLICANS, BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, evidently already panicking about losing the House and/or Senate majority in the midterms more than a year before election day 2026.

And he can’t do shit to ban early or mail-in voting. He’s just making himself look weak.

This is one of those times when starting with the background context is more appropriate than a traditional lede that expands on the headline: Indiana Lt Gov Micah Beckwith is a pastor and a hardcore Evangelical douchebag whose greatest hits include saying the January 6th insurrectionists were “sent by God,” vowing to fire any staffer who uses pronouns in their email, and – this last one’s a clue – getting over 2,000 books banned from the Hamilton East Library’s young adult section for “depictions of sex, violence and repeated profanity” – or “pornographic” in MAGA hyperbole.

Beckwith’s boss is not Gov Mike Braun. Not even if they liked or respected each other, which they don’t. His true overlord is Nathan Peternel, founding pastor of the “Life Church” chain of MAGAchurches, who elevated Beckwith to lead pastor of the Noblesville campus of the Life Church, the pulpit from which Beckwith continues to preach his fire and brimstone while serving as Lt Gov.

Oh and they still podcast together on a show called “Jesus, Sex, and Politics.” Why “sex” has to be in the name says enough, but pornography and child exploitation are regular topics. Also a hint here.

Kentucky GOP chair Robert J Benvenuti III on Saturday issued a statement saying “The Republican Party of Kentucky condemns hate in all its forms. The post is vile and reprehensible, and is directly adverse to all that we stand for as a party and a nation. We are actively investigating the matter and will take the harshest action available to us against those involved. We remain committed to the values of Lincoln and advancing liberty and prosperity for every American,” after the chair of the Hardin County Republican Party posted what the Lexington Courier Journal reports was a video depicting former President Barack and former First Lady Michelle Obama as apes.

Which is pretty standard for how Republicans, particularly the ones in impoverished rural podunks, regard African Americans. Thus making the condemnation more of a self-affirmation exercise for MAGA voters who like to believe that, deep down inside, they aren’t really racist so much as maybe merely edgy or just not so politically correct like those bitchy, overly sensitive libtards.

Hardin County GOP chair Bobbie Coleman seconded that in her “apology” Facebook post. “Earlier today, I shared a video that was intended to celebrate President Trump’s successful policy achievements by depicting him as a Lion King, triumphing over liberal Democrats. I thought this video was a silly way to celebrate the policy victories of the past nine months – including tax cuts, peace in the Middle East, a strong border, and lower gas prices. I apologize for sharing the video and for amplifying offensive imagery of former President Obama. As someone who does not engage with racist tropes, I did not consider the underlying meaning that this video may have had. I am not racist and any suggestion to the contrary does not reflect my values or character,” Coleman wrote.

The “I am not racist” was for her, not for anyone who would’ve been offended by the content.

Speaking with ABC News on Sunday, a real modest soybean farmer who also happens to work in public service on the side said that he’s been hurting financially from access to Chinese markets being cut off due to President Trump’s trade war but nevertheless professed a deep conviction that in the end everything will work out for him as long as he continues to support the policies.

And yeah, Treasury Suckretary Scott Bessent really does own $25 million worth of North Dakota soybean and corn fields, which was supposed to be scandalous that he didn’t divest from it and now here he is saying he feels the pain of guys in John Deere caps and flannel out there in MAGAmerica.

Istanbul Mayor Ekrem Imamoglu, the would-be 2028 presidential contender who’s been in jail since July on a 20 month bid for the crime of pointing out that Turkish dictator Recep Erdogan’s regime stifling democratic opposition was, per the AP, hauled into court on Sunday for questioning on suspicion of “espionage” for some bullshit pretext too vague to even entertain dignifying here.

Hundreds rallied outside the courthouse, led by Ozgur Ozel, chair of Imamoglu’s Republican People’s Party (CHP). “As long as these interrogations continue, as long as this cruelty continues, as long as this oppression continues, we will struggle democratically – without harming anyone and without allowing anyone to trample our dignity,” said Ozel. It’s not clear if the rallygoers were harmed or trampled by cops loyal to Erdawg’s increasingly insecure authoritarian regime.

In an interview aired Sunday on CBS, California Governor Gavin Newsom was asked whether he’d been giving “serious thought” to a White House bid in 2028, to which he said “Yeah, I’d be lying otherwise,” Newsom replied. “I’d just be lying. And I’m not – I can’t do that,” which sure as hell sounds like “yes” but he’s just not ready to actually announce it and launch yet.

The hint comes a day after the BBC aired an interview in which fellow Golden Stater former Vice President Kamala Harris strongly hinted she would make another run for the top job following her catastrophic but fairly narrow loss to convicted felon President Trump last year.

Prosecutors in Paris on Sunday announced the arrest of two suspects in the heist on the city’s iconic Louvre museum in which they made off with $102 million worth of jewels, France 24 reports.

Seriously stop laughing! This is important health news! Yes like “Lol they’re ALL ‘from contaminated meat'” hah hah, very funny… For real, CBS News reports that a four year study of urinary tract infections in Southern California were linked to E Coli from the consumption of contaminated animal flesh from an abattoir. The rest were presumably from, well, contaminated human flesh.

That freaking sucks for the people who just ate from some greasy spoon and their partners thought they were fucking around on the side. Had to have happened to at least a few of them.

With the holidays and off-year elections coming up often too does politics in conversation. Maybe too often for some, not enough for others, but either way it’s a good prompt to start talking about talking about politics, starting with an example of the kind of dense topic you should not open with…

Speaking with NPR this week, House Oversight Committee Ranking Dem Robert Garcia was asked about his team’s launch of what Fox News and other MAGA media outlets described as an “ICE tracker” akin to the now banned “ICEBlock” app. “Well, first, to be clear, this is a misconduct tracker that documents civil rights violations by the administration. Yeah. It includes, you know, cases where ICE has detained US citizens, of course. This is not a live location tracker. This is not putting officers at risk. We’re publishing records after the fact to expose any patterns of misconduct. And so this is not tracking anyone or putting out officers’ names. This is about documenting something that’s already happened. So they’re creating a fake controversy,” Garcia said, as Dems so often have to these days. The interview aired after MAGA Congressman Bryan Steil’s committee tweeted this:

Statement from Chairman Bryan Steil:

“The House of Representatives absolutely will not maintain a website that tracks and doxes ICE agents.” https://t.co/VJHeEERNh6

— House Admin. Committee GOP (@HouseAdmin) October 22, 2025

Irony’s dead, hypocrisy’s the law of the land, nobody gives a fuck about intellectual dishonesty anymore, and yet the tweet still manages to transcend it all. Now assume the very real possibility that this asshole simply did not even look at Garcia’s press release in which his staff announced that they’re “establishing a misconduct tracker to systematically document abuse and civil rights violations by this administration — including cases where ICE has detained US citizens and violated federal law. The tracker documents unconstitutional actions after they occur — it is not a live location tool” and just got the Fox News version of it instead. Assume that he doesn’t know the Oversight Dems already have a generalized “Report Potential Wrongdoing” tipline and web form like various committees under both parties have operated for years in search of bad shit to amplify.