“Norway is bracing for the aftermath of the Nobel Peace Prize announcement on Friday as the Nordic nation has faced increasing pressure from Donald Trump and his administration to award it to the US leader,” is an actual fucking sentence in the lede of Bloomberg’s Thursday morning story headlined “Norway on Edge Over Trump Ahead of Nobel Peace Prize Verdict,” as though it were 1940 and Vidkun Quisling was teasing a “special announcement” about the country’s defense.

They were definitely “on edge” back then. And this is not to mock Bloomberg’s reporting, just the fact that such language is an apparently necessary and accurate description of the situation there as, per their article, there are worries of an “economic and diplomatic fallout” coming in less than 24 hours when the Peace Prize laureate – who is in almost no conceivable scenario is named Donald Trump – is announced. “Even so, there is growing indication that pressure has been, if anything, counterproductive,” Bloomberg writes, adding that the foreign minister at least twice went out of his way to say that the Norwegian government has no say in the Nobel committee’s decisions.

Not that such piddling details will matter to the MAGA Reich and its Fuhrer. Oslo obviously recognizes this and are trying to figure out how Trump losing would factor into ongoing trade negotiations with the US to lower the 15 percent tariff and the 40 percent of Norway’s $2 trillion sovereign wealth fund tied up in American assets, all of them potential targets of the toddler’s wrath.

Hahahahaha! Get it? Turning point? Anyway, rustic chic lumbersexual fascist Matt Walsh on Wednesday confessed he was surprised to find out that far more deranged extremist influencer Candace Owens was not just making shit up when she claimed that, just days before his death, Saint Charles the Martyred had written in a group text some very Ilhan Omar-ish things about Israel and Jewish-Americans. In fact one of Kirk’s top lieutenants Andrew Kolvet on Tuesday – with a lot of self-serving qualifiers – literally confirmed the texts were genuine during a livestream.

“Just lost another huge Jewish donor. $2 million a year because we won’t cancel Tucker, I’m thinking of inviting Candace [Owens],” Kirk wrote, referring to some upcoming event in which Tucker was on the billing. Hilariously the part about inviting Owens was what Walsh said had seemed too “on the nose” for him initially. Can’t really fault him for it when she was the one propagating the texts.

“Ugghhh,” someone wrote in response before Kirk continued with “Jewish donors play into all the be bullied like this. stereotypes. I cannot and will not [trails off]” and then finally “Leaving me no choice but to leave the pro Israel cause,” like he didn’t already see the way the wind has been blowing.

Adding to the mess is the fact that the texts made their way to Owens not from a source in TPUSA but either directly or intermediately from someone in federal law enforcement. Kolvet explained that, in the hours after Kirk was fatally shot and Keystone K$H was fucking up the investigation, the top people in TPUSA were handing anything and everything over to the FBI as potential leads to follow.

Republicans in Missouri are worried that Democrats are on track to collect the petition signatures required to get a referendum on the ballot that would kill their gerrymandering effort to erase Congressman Emanuel Cleaver’s Kansas City district, Punchbowl News reports.

Even just submitting 110,000 valid signatures by mid-December – like in every state, the canvassers need to exceed the quota by a sizable margin because thousands are going to get rejected, so in Missouri the Dems will want to get closer to 200,000 – will automatically freeze the redraw for 2026 and Cleaver will be reelected. The ballot measure won’t be voted on until August or November.

Outlining some friction the MAGA Reich is facing in the Indiana state Senate in the effort to kill off one or both of the state’s blue districts and the likely doomed campaign against California’s retaliatory proposition, Punchbowl writes “The roadblocks in Indiana and Missouri are compounded by mounting fears that Republicans will not be able to block Democrats’ redistricting ballot measure in California,” naturally without commenting on the fact that none of this would be necessary if Republicans believed they could defend their majority on the strength of their policies alone.

Or at least a “caravan” coming up through Mexico and ads about how Zohran Mamdani will bring socialist Sharia Law to rural Arklatucky if you don’t reelect Congressman Jefferson Davis McPervert.

“TRUMP’S TOWERING ACHIEVEMENT: President Trump is in a celebratory mood this morning after brokering a landmark peace deal in Gaza. It’s early days, but expectations are sky high after Israel and Hamas agreed to the first part of a deal that will see all remaining Israeli hostages released from Gaza in return for a pullback of Israeli troops. It looks like a historic moment for the Middle East – and yes, a personal triumph for the US president. After months of touting himself as the world’s greatest peace broker, Trump is on the verge of something remarkable,” writes Politico Playbook in Thursday morning’s edition under that manages to be excessively slobbersome even by their standards, under the headline of “The art of the (peace) deal.” Bet they stayed up all night coming up with that one.

The sickening slurping sounds grow even louder and the tempo higher toward the bottom of the very lengthy section “And with perfect timing … It’s Nobel Peace Prize day tomorrow. Unfortunately for Trump, the five-strong panel of Norwegian judges likely made up their minds some weeks back.”

“But next year’s award? Honestly, who knows,” Playbook continues and hang on, it gets even better.

Ukrainian sumo wrestler Danilo Yavhushyshyn has been kicking serious ass against the top talent in Japan’s national sport, recently defeating Mongolian-born Hoshoryu, one of the circuit’s two Yokozuna – which loosely translates to “grand master” – and is gunning for the other, the AP reports.

Citing higher labor costs and ongoing upgrades, Disney on Wednesday announced a price hike on entrance fees to its two US theme parks, Disney World in Florida and Disneyland in California, Fox Business News reports on something that would’ve been blamed Joe Biden if he were still president.

“Disney Parks offer a full day of experiences each day, with ticket, hotel, and dining options designed to suit a wide range of budgets for all who visit. Our commitment to creating magical experiences for everyone remains at the heart of what we do – and that will never change,” Disney suits told Fox in an email confirming that Disneyland’s Tier 6 one-day ticket, used on the busiest, highest-demand days, rose $18 to $224 per adult – up 126 percent over the past decade. A top-tier Disney World ticket jumped from $199 to $209 while parking fees went up $5 at both parks.

The megacorporation did however throw fans a bone in the form of expanding the number of low-priority days when the cheapest tickets are available, from 15 to 38. Those tickets are still $104 each for adults and still this would have been blamed on “Bidenflation” if he were still president.

“I am very proud to announce that Israel and Hamas have both signed off on the first Phase of our Peace Plan. This means that ALL of the Hostages will be released very soon, and Israel will withdraw their Troops to an agreed upon line as the first steps toward a Strong, Durable, and Everlasting Peace. All Parties will be treated fairly! This is a GREAT Day for the Arab and Muslim World, Israel, all surrounding Nations, and the United States of America, and we thank the mediators from Qatar, Egypt, and Turkey, who worked with us to make this Historic and Unprecedented Event happen.”

“BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday.

“On Friday morning, President Trump will visit Walter Reed Medical Center for a planned meeting and remarks with the troops. While there, President Trump will stop by for his routine yearly check up. He will then return to the White House. President Trump is considering going to the Middle East shortly thereafter,” says a press release from Krazy Karoline. Trump last had a yearly checkup on April 11th.

Jewish space laser lady Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene tells CNN that she’s still not effing around on the Obamacare insurance subsidy shitshow, declaring “Everyone’s just getting destroyed.”

“Look, Democrats, you created this mess. Republicans, you have no solutions. You haven’t come up with a new plan, and we’re not even talking about it, and it is hurting so many people,” Greene continued, adding that Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson needs to get the House back open immediately. “Any serious speaker is going to build consensus within his conference behind a plan. It’s not something secret that gets worked on in a committee. This cliff is coming for millions of Americans where their premiums are about to skyrocket, so put your money where your mouth is.”

“I think the politics are terrible. I don’t think anyone is sitting at home going, ‘Oh, this is great. The Republicans and Democrats have the government shut down, and they’re not discussing anything to fix it.’ Democrats are saying, ‘Continue to grow the debt with ACA tax credits’, and Republicans are just… calling it a Schumer shutdown, so I don’t think anybody is winning here, and I think it’s failure, and I personally don’t like it,” Greene said and damn that’s gotta sting. Wrong kind of bothsiding.

A new Public Policy Polling survey of New Jersey voters finds Dem Congresswoman Mikie Sherrill leading 2021 GOP loser Jack Ciattarelli 49 to 43 percent in the gubernatorial race.

Singaporean penal officials hanged another guy Wednesday, this time it was someone’s diamorphine guy, who was arrested in 2014 for smuggling the stuff, the South China Morning Post reports.

The guy, Malaysian Pannir Selvam Pranthaman, 38, was the ninth drugs guy executed in the city-state this year. Singapore doesn’t really like guys, no matter what kind of stuff they have.

An exhibition match between Puerto Rico and Argentina’s soccer teams scheduled for Monday in Chicago was moved to Fort Lauderdale because of convicted felon President Trump’s assault on the Windy City, the AP reports on the real-life economic effect’s of the fat fuck’s misrule.

As expected, whichever MAGA Congresstwat standing in for Speaker Mike Johnson on Wednesday gaveled the House in and out immediately within like seconds as Dems shouted to swear in Arizona Congresswoman-Elect Adelita Grijalva after she was elected more than two weeks ago.

'SUFFERING DEMENTIA': Pritzker makes claim about Trump despite once defending Biden's mental fitness pic.twitter.com/WVgcNl1O6i

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 8, 2025

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson walked into Dem Arizona Senators Ruben Gallego and Mark Kelly’s mini-press conference in the Capitol to walk back on his Tuesday statement that Congresswoman-Elect Adelita Grijalva can be sworn in “whenever she wants” to when the government is reopened, Semafor’s Burgess Everett reports. Sur-fucking-prise on that and the part where Johnson said it had “nothing to do with Epstein,” as in Grijalva being the 218th signatory on Republican Congressman Thomas Massie’s discharge petition to force the Epstein files vote.

Now I need to make a correction too: In yesterday’s article I had expressed some puzzlement over why Dems were making as big a deal out of the nexus to the discharge petition as they are, and thought this was simply political messaging. It’s not like forcing the Republicans on the record as voting against the compelled release of the files isn’t political messaging in itself because then it has to go to the Senate, but that’s an important win no matter what. Where I fucked off is not doing my research on how House discharge petitions work and what happens when Grijalva is sworn in and signs it: That actually is a point of no return. The discharge petition is officially entered into the Congressional record on the 218th signature and the vote becomes inevitable. Johnson can screw around and delay it through an array of other tricks, but that’ll push it back a few months at most.

Unless Crazy Nancy Mace and/or Lauren Boebert can be talked into backing out – Thomas Massie and Marjorie Taylor Greene obviously aren’t up for grabs – swearing in Grijalva is for Johnson like signing the discharge petition himself. Whether buying himself more time works has yet to be seen (and of course Boebert and Mace could just vote no) but he’s buying it by holding out.

“Today we are announcing the arrest of 29 year-old Jonathan Rinderknecht on a criminal complaint charging him with maliciously starting what became the Palisades Fire in January. The complaint alleges that Rinderknecht started a fire in Pacific Palisades on New Year’s Day – a blaze that eventually turned into one of the most destructive fires in Los Angeles history, causing death and widespread destruction. Among the evidence that was collected from his digital devices was an image he generated on ChatGPT depicting a burning city. While we cannot undo the damage and destruction that was done, we hope his arrest and the charges against him bring some measure of justice to the victims of this horrific tragedy. Rinderknecht’s initial appearance is scheduled for today at 1:30 pm EDT in US District Court in Orlando. Rinderknecht is presumed innocent until proven guilty,” tweeted Central District of California Acting US Attorney Attorney Bill Essayli on Wednesday.

Since you were wondering Rinderknecht is listed as having “No Party Affiliation.” His parents however are registered Republicans, while two older siblings are registered Dems. So 50/50 on that.

With that very important data point out of the way, notice that Essayli says “Rinderknecht started a fire in Pacific Palisades on New Year’s Day” which doesn’t quite add up if you look at the National Zero article headline quoting a National Weather Service Los Angeles office’s advisory “‘THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE WINDSTORM SEEN SINCE 2011’” timestamped at 5:21 AM Pacific Standard Time on January 7th, 2025 and then – this is fucking heartbreaking to see now just how quickly that warning came to fruition – “Thousands evacuate from raging wildfire in Los Angeles” timestamped just over eight hours later at 1:39 PM Pacific Standard Time on January 7th, 2025. Six days later, obviously.

Eric Trump did not expect to be treated like that crackhead Hunter Biden while sitting on Chris Cuomo’s show on stupid NewsNation Tuesday night and here’s Chris cosplaying as a journalist and asking why he’s making corrupt crypto quid-pro-quo deals with the Emiratis instead of polishing his balls and talking about golf courses. This is not America, people! This is like Communist Nazi Germany or something! They should call this show Chris Cuomo’s Witch Hunt Tonight! Fuck!

The Trump Administration’s Department of Labor is pushing to lower the minimum wage for foreign workers brought in under the H-2A visa program by warning that the Trump Administration’s Department of Homeland Security’s immigration enforcement policies are increasing the risk of food shortages by arresting and deporting undocumented farm workers, the American Prospect reports.

Seriously. “The near total cessation of the inflow of illegal aliens combined with the lack of an available legal workforce, results in significant disruptions to production costs and threatening the stability of domestic food production and prices for US consumers,” the memo says, adding “this threat will grow” because of the Big Beautiful Bill’s $100 billion check for ICE expansion.

The Soviets had a lot of this kind of bureaucratic infighting too. Agriculture and labor were often the subject but sometimes it went in interesting other directions, like with that big futz-up at Chernobyl.