Super plugged-in Beltway GOP megadonor-friendly bullet-point factory Axios has “scooped” (their headline literally says “Scoop: Ted Cruz sets stage for 2028 run with Tucker jabs”) that the Republican Texas Senator is gearing up for a 2028 presidential campaign by feuding with the former top Fox News propagandist over his recent platforming of Neo-Nazi zoomer influencer Nick Fuentes.

“We have a responsibility to speak out even when it’s uncomfortable,” Cruz said in a statement to Axios. “When voices in our own movement push dangerous and misguided ideas, we can’t look the other way. I won’t hesitate to call out those who peddle destructive, vile rhetoric and threaten our principles and our future. Silence in the face of recklessness is not an option,” Cruz continued.

Nothing in the article says anything about Cruz’s plans to appeal to actual voters in a GOP primary and then a general election, something that’ll be the afterthought it usually is in Republican politics. Instead right now this is about getting through to the donor class and bumping off a possible populist rival who, if he runs, will be doing little if any dog-whistling about Jews two years from now.

“On November 5, 2025, the Shreveport Police Department began investigating a theft at the Hustler Hollywood store located in the 6100 block of Financial Plaza. Three unidentified female suspects entered the business and collectively took nearly $1,000 worth of merchandise without paying.”

“The individuals were last seen leaving the location in a silver sedan. Anyone with information that may assist in identifying these suspects is urged to contact the Shreveport Police Department at 318-673-7300. Those wishing to remain anonymous may contact Caddo Crime Stoppers at 318-673-7373. Crime Stoppers pays cash rewards for information that leads to the identification or arrest of individuals responsible for crimes,” says the Shreveport, Louisiana Police Department in a press release that scrupulously avoids saying what the Hustler Hollywood store actually sells.

A court in Bangladesh on Monday sentenced exiled former dictator Sheikh Hasina to death in absentia for her role in hundreds of extrajudicial killings during the bloody protests that led to her ouster last year, the AP reports and yeah, she probably isn’t coming back now.

“As I said on Friday night aboard Air Force One to the Fake News Media, House Republicans should vote to release the Epstein files, because we have nothing to hide, and it’s time to move on from this Democrat Hoax perpetrated by Radical Left Lunatics in order to deflect from the Great Success of the Republican Party, including our recent Victory on the Democrat ‘Shutdown.’ The Department of Justice has already turned over tens of thousands of pages to the Public on ‘Epstein,’ are looking at various Democrat operatives (Bill Clinton, Reid Hoffman, Larry Summers, etc) and their relationship to Epstein, and the House Oversight Committee can have whatever they are legally entitled to, I DON’T CARE! All I do care about is that Republicans get BACK ON POINT, which is the Economy, ‘Affordability’ (where we are winning BIG!), our Victory on reducing Inflation from the highest level in History to practically nothing, bringing down prices for the American People, delivering Historic Tax Cuts, gaining Trillions of Dollars of Investment into America (A RECORD!), the rebuilding of our Military, securing our Border, deporting Criminal Illegal Aliens, ending Men in Women’s Sports, stopping Transgender for Everyone, and so much more! Nobody cared about Jeffrey Epstein when he was alive and, if the Democrats had anything, they would have released it before our Landslide Election Victory. Some ‘members’ of the Republican Party are being ‘used,’ and we can’t let that happen. Let’s start talking about the Republican Party’s Record Setting Achievements, and not fall into the Epstein ‘TRAP,’ which is actually a curse on the Democrats, not us,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday night after a week of publicly freaking out in a rage over this.

It’s not clear why he won’t just order it all released instead of having them waste time on the vote.

“This evening, my family and I were victims of a swatting incident during which a fake communication was sent to local law enforcement officials. Vigo County sheriff’s deputies responded to the incident under the impression of a domestic violence emergency.”

“The deputies professionally fulfilled their duty. While this entire incident is unfortunate and reflective of the volatile nature of our current political environment, I give thanks to God that my family and I are ok. I want to thank Vigo County Sheriff Derek Fell, Terre Haute Police Chief Kevin Barrett and the first responders who serve our county and community with bravery and professionalism” said Indiana Republican state Senator Greg Goode in a press release on Sunday.

There’s no big mystery as to why Goode was swatted, as it came just hours after convicted felon President Trump posted “Very disappointed in Indiana State Senate Republicans, led by RINO Senators Rod Bray and Greg Goode, for not wanting to redistrict their State, allowing the United States Congress to perhaps gain two more Republican seats. The Democrats have done redistricting for years, often illegally, and all other appropriate Republican States have done it. Because of these two politically correct type ‘gentlemen,’ and a few others, they could be depriving Republicans of a Majority in the House, A VERY BIG DEAL! California is trying to pick up five seats, and no one is complaining about that.” He kept going but need to stop him there given the outright lie of that last part. He’s literally fucking suing California to try to overturn Proposition 50’s offset redistricting.

A spree killer who wrote “catch me if u can” with one of his victims’ blood on the wall at the murder scene and also left a note saying “Good luck finding me, LMFAO” was executed by firing squad in South Carolina on Friday, USA Today reports on the consequences of getting caught.

Stephen Corey Bryant, 44, had pleaded guilty to three murders committed in October 2004 but it was the second, that of 62 year-old Willard “TJ” Tietjen, for which Bryant was condemned for the particularly depraved manner in which he abused Tietjen before shooting him nine times.

It’s impossible to express how desperate and pathetic this is. Go see a shrink. pic.twitter.com/GCWAowGDZx

— Catturd ™ (@catturd2) November 15, 2025

“Today, the Salt Lake County District Attorney’s Office, Sim Gill, Salt Lake County District Attorney announced the office declined to file criminal charges against Tim Ballard related to allegations of sexual assault and misconduct. District Attorney Sim Gill said: ‘We want to begin by recognizing the bravery it takes to come forward and disclose deeply personal and traumatic experiences. We acknowledge the impact of these events and commend the courage it took to speak with investigators and participate in the process. In our justice system, the State carries the burden of proving criminal charges beyond a reasonable doubt. This standard is the highest in our law, designed to ensure fairness and prevent wrongful convictions. It does not mean that we disbelieve or diminish a survivor’s account, but rather that the law requires evidence strong enough to remove every reasonable doubt for a jury,'” says the Salt Lake County, Utah DA’s office in a statement.

“‘After a thorough investigation, we determined that there is insufficient admissible evidence to meet the legal burden of proof. While the survivors have provided important and compelling statements, critical corroborating evidence is unavailable, and certain necessary elements of the charges cannot be established with the certainty required by the law. This decision does not diminish the value of the survivors’ voices or the harm they have experienced. We remain committed to supporting survivors, connecting them with resources, and pursuing accountability whenever the evidence meets the legal and ethical standards. We also stand ready to revisit this matter if additional evidence becomes available.’ We commend the courage of those who came forward and the work of law enforcement who investigated these matters. All persons accused of wrongdoing are presumed innocent unless and until convicted in a court of law,” the statement continued.

Charlie Kirk’s widow Erika has joined the ignominious ranks populated by French First Lady Brigitte Macron and Algerian Olympic boxer Imane Khelif finding herself the target of a “transvestigation” by MAGA freaks who think their martyr’s wife was born a male, Pride reports.

“I am withdrawing my support and Endorsement of ‘Congresswoman’ Marjorie Taylor Greene, of the Great State of Georgia. Over the past few weeks, despite my creating Record Achievements for our Country including, a Total and Complete Victory on the Shutdown, Closed Borders, Low Taxes, No Men in Women’s Sports or Transgender for Everyone, ending DEI, stopping Biden’s Record Setting Inflation, Biggest Regulation Cuts in History, stopping EIGHT WARS, rebuilding our Military, being RESPECTED by every Country in the World (as opposed to being the laughingstock that we were just 12 months ago!), having Trillions of Dollars (Record Setting!) INVESTED in the USA, and having created the ‘HOTTEST’ Country anywhere in the World from being a DEAD Country just 12 months ago (and so much more!), all I see ‘Wacky’ Marjorie do is COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN!”

“It seemed to all begin when I sent her a Poll stating that she should not run for Senator, or Governor, she was at 12 percent, and didn’t have a chance (unless, of course, she had my Endorsement — which she wasn’t about to get!). She has told many people that she is upset that I don’t return her phone calls anymore, but with 219 Congressmen/women, 53 US Senators, 24 Cabinet Members, almost 200 Countries, and an otherwise normal life to lead, I can’t take a ranting Lunatic’s call every day. I understand that wonderful, Conservative people are thinking about primarying Marjorie in her District of Georgia, that they too are fed up with her and her antics and, if the right person runs, they will have my Complete and Unyielding Support. She has gone Far Left, even doing The View, with their Low IQ Republican hating Anchors. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!” posted the fat bastard on Friday. It’s over.

After two days of hiding from reporters, convicted felon President Trump finally spoke to reporters Friday in the “gaggle” on Air Force One as he flew to Florida for a weekend off from not working.

We’re Making Big Progress on Prices — and We’ll Keep Working to Make Sure Everyone Benefitshttps://t.co/lEngoCYDD3

— Karoline Leavitt (@PressSec) November 14, 2025

All of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt’s Twitter followers were told to sit tight and that major progress is being made against all the inflation that her boss says is way down. As Leavitt has 1.7 million+ followers when you subtract all the MAGA Twitter users who are still going to vote Republican anyway no matter what, those who simply hate-follow her/are going to vote Democrat anyway no matter what, those who are bots and can’t vote, those who are foreigners who can’t vote, and finally those who were not logged into Twitter and simply didn’t see it, there could be like severals – maybe even tens of persuadable users who glimpsed the tweet. Impressive reach.

In all seriousness, as much of a closed loop as Twitter is (especially relative to other platforms), the point here is probably more like getting the super-plugged-in MAGA people to use that bullshit “fact sheet” she linked as their talking points in shitposting fights in their local Facebook pages and group texts. They’ll probably still get laughed at, but the pipeline theoretically has utility.

A 53 year-old Shillington, Pennsylvania man is lucky to be alive after his dog nearly killed him just when he had invited the mutt to jump on the bed for some cuddling time, WFMZ reports.

Local cops were able to respond in time to save the man from his dog’s nearly fatal attack. “While they were responding, they were informed that a dog had jumped up onto the bed, causing the shotgun to go off, which ultimately struck the male,” Shillington Police Cpl Michael Schoone said.

“He’s not sure what stage of cleaning he was in at the time, so it’s unsure if the dog’s paw may have gotten caught inside the trigger and the safety was off or if there was some sort of manufacturer malfunction,” Schoone continued, adding “Obviously, you should be treating every weapon as if it’s loaded. All the cardinal rules: keeping it in a safe direction, finger off the trigger. This was… the perfect storm. It was just the right place at the right time – or the wrong time.”

“Now that the Democrats are using the Epstein Hoax, involving Democrats, not Republicans, to try and deflect from their disastrous SHUTDOWN, and all of their other failures, I will be asking AG Pam Bondi, and the Department of Justice, together with our great patriots at the FBI, to investigate Jeffrey Epstein’s involvement and relationship with Bill Clinton, Larry Summers, Reid Hoffman, JP Morgan, Chase, and many other people and institutions, to determine what was going on with them, and him. This is another Russia, Russia, Russia Scam, with all arrows pointing to the Democrats. Records show that these men, and many others, spent large portions of their life with Epstein, and on his ‘Island.’ Stay tuned!!!” posted Jeff’s friend on Friday without bothering to explain why he didn’t just do this in his first term at any point before or after Epstein was found dead in a federal lockup.

Trump then tried to change the subject by shifting to a different existential political vulnerability for him, posting “Cost, and INFLATION, were far higher under the Sleepy Joe Biden Administration, than they are now. In fact, costs under the TRUMP ADMINISTRATION are tumbling down, helped greatly by gasoline and ENERGY. Affordability is a lie when used by the Dems. It is a complete CON JOB.”

“Thanksgiving costs are 25 percent lower this year than last, under Crooked Joe! We are the Party of Affordability!” Donald continued and lol the fat fuck is so rattled he can’t even get his propaganda straight, conflating the $25 Walmart Thanksgiving package (which is the same price as last year, but includes fewer food items and a lot of the name brands replaced with “Great Value” items).

“This morning, an Administrative Order appointing me to the case of State of Georgia v Donald J Trump, et al was filed with the Clerk of the Superior Court of Fulton County, in compliance with an order issued by Atlanta Judicial Circuit Superior Court Judge Scott McAfee. The filing of this appointment reflects my inability to secure another conflict prosecutor to assume responsibility for this case. Several prosecutors were contacted and, while all were respectful and professional, each declined the appointment. Out of respect for their privacy and professional discretion, I will not identify those prosecutors or disclose their reasons for declining. The decision to assume responsibility for this matter was reached only after careful and deliberate consideration.”

“While it would have been simple to allow Judge McAfee’s deadline to lapse or to inform the Court that no conflict prosecutor could be secured – thereby allowing the case to be dismissed for want of prosecution – I did not believe that to be the right course of action,” says head of the Georgia Prosecuting Attorneys’ Council Peter J Skandalakis on the new self-appointment.

Long story short, Skandalakis was charged with finding a replacement for Fani Willis in the case against convicted felon President Trump and his co-conspirators in the post-2020 election coup attempt case in the state. Facing a deadline imposed by Judge Scott McAffee and with no one stepping up, Skandalakis appointed himself and gave the ringing endorsement above.

“The Democrats are doing everything in their withering power to push the Epstein Hoax again, despite the DOJ releasing 50,000 pages of documents, in order to deflect from all of their bad policies and losses, especially the SHUTDOWN EMBARRASSMENT, where their party is in total disarray, and has no idea what to do. Some Weak Republicans have fallen into their clutches because they are soft and foolish. Epstein was a Democrat, and he is the Democrat’s problem, not the Republican’s problem! Ask Bill Clinton, Reid Hoffman, and Larry Sommers about Epstein, they know all about him, don’t waste your time with Trump. I have a Country to run!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, his first self-composed post since the last Epstein meltdown.

Love the “I have a Country to run!” part, written as though he hasn’t been demolishing a third of the White House to build a giant ballroom, playing golf with billionaires, or shitposting stuff like this.

Convicted felon President Trump is planning a series of tariff exemptions on food products to show the American people he’s willing to undo some of the unforced damage he’s done to the economy even when everyone told him not to – and then inevitably take credit for it if it works, the New York Times reports on more stupid bullshit that shouldn’t even be necessary in the first place.

The exemptions have yet to be finalized but likely will include citrus and, despite complaining from the cattle industry, beef products. Sucks for you “MAKE BEEF AMERICAN AGAIN 🇺🇸” assclowns, lol.