Date-rapey Fox Newsbro Jesse Watters and fey short kid Greg Gutfeld who Watters lets hang out with him to make him feel even more self-confident worked through their feelings about the Tom Homan bribery shitshow on Monday, assuring themselves and viewers that either it isn’t true. Or that it is true but it was some kind of entrapment scheme by the Biden DOJ. Or that if it is true it doesn’t matter because he’s a Republican and the pro-Democrat media have already disqualified the case against Homan because of all of their years of biased coverage so it’s completely fine.

“Lt Gov Dan Patrick and Speaker of the Texas House Dustin Burrows today announced the Senate and House General Investigating Committees on the July 2025 Flooding Events. Created by Senate Resolution 2 and House Resolution 177 from the second called special session of the 89th Legislature, these committees will meet jointly. Upon announcement, Lt Gov Patrick and Speaker Burrows named committee members and issued the following statements: ‘In July, Texans were deeply saddened by the deadly flooding on the Guadalupe River, where amongst many others, 27 vibrant young girls were lost from one camp, Camp Mystic,’ said Lt Gov Dan Patrick.”

“‘I was shocked to see Camp Mystic begin signing up campers for next year with so many questions unanswered about what happened that fateful morning. Today, I appointed the members of the Senate General Investigating Committee on the July 2025 Flooding Events to get to the bottom of exactly what occurred. This committee’s task is to examine the facts and circumstances surrounding the July flooding, including actions taken at youth summer camps. The families who lost their precious daughters deserve answers, as do all Texans, on exactly what happened on July 4th. Camp Mystic has not spoken publicly on the record as to what happened that morning. They will be invited to testify, as will others involved in this flooding event,'” says a joint press release from Texas Lt Governor Dannie Goeb, aka Dan Patrick, and Speaker of the state House Dustin Burrows.

Noticing that the “+” was abruptly minus-ed from the logo for the tech leviathan’s video streaming service, Variety looked into it and found a mention that “Apple TV+ is now simply Apple TV, with a vibrant new identity,” in the press release for the upcoming debut of Apple Studios’ blockbuster hit F1:The Movie in the now-nonplussed service’s catalog. The “vibrant” part is also pretty accurate as there will be a subtle rainbow spectrum gradient on the app icon in the next iOS update.

The rebrand follows that of HBO Max to just “Max” which then de-rebranded to HBO Max. Disney+, Paramount+, ESPN+, AMC+, BET+, MGM+, Hallmark+, NASA+, and Truth+ remain fully plussed.

'I'M GRATEFUL': Former President Bill Clinton admits President Donald Trump deserves "great credit" for his Middle East peace agreement. pic.twitter.com/lGMGPRnVbU

— Fox News (@FoxNews) October 13, 2025

Financial clickbait content mill site MoneyWise reports that a Henderson, Nevada registered Republican voter is freaking pissed after the $1.3 million house he bought from 55+ community chain Del Webb is crumbling steadily, all thanks to shitty construction by megabuilder PulteGroup.

“My house is tilting an inch and a half from the rear to the front… everything is unstable and uneven and I can’t afford to fall,” says 82 year-old Willie Barron, who in all likelihood voted to return to power the president who then hired the scion of Pulte Group, Bill Pulte, to run the Federal Housing Finance Agency and make fake criminal referrals for New York Attorney General Letitia James, Senator Adam Schiff, and Fed Governor Lisa Cook. It’s not PulteGroup’s first rodeo with shitty construction as MoneyWise writes they have “faced major legal consequences in Florida. In 2018, the company agreed to a $78.7 million judgment to resolve claims over stucco defects. It also reached a settlement with the Florida AG that required millions in restitution and repairs for homeowners.”

Norberto Cisneros, attorney for Barron and several of his neighbors, calls it one of the worst cases he’s ever seen and warns that repairing the soil underneath the houses to ensure their stability could cost up to half a million each – if they can get the work done in time before a major flash flood or even moderate earthquake strikes the area. “If it’s large enough… this house will go down and affect the houses below us,” said other registered Republican PulteGroup victim John Penn.

The above headline is a slight truncation of a line in a Monday Wall Street Journal article, printed under the headline “Trump Allies Sold Sponsorships to What Appeared to Be a Treasury Event. It Wasn’t.” The actual line in the article was “The fact that a private conference was marketed as a government-hosted event designed to unveil US government policy startled ethics experts,” worth noting because Jesus Christ, what the hell surprises anyone anymore, especially “ethics experts”?

It’s just a networking event for synergizing industrial-scale graft. Nothing to get freaked out about if you’re the type of person already freaked out about the boundless corruption of the MAGA swamp.

Fuck you, retard. It's Columbus Day! pic.twitter.com/8UkBf9lCaf

— Right Wing Cigar King (@AlanCigarKing) October 13, 2025

Single British woman Rachel tells the Guardian her convos with a man she had connected with on dating app Hinge had been going very well. “From the beginning he was asking very open-ended questions, and that felt refreshing,” says Rachel. “I’ve been reading a bit about attachment styles lately, it’s helped me to understand myself – and the type of partner I should be looking for. Have you ever looked at yours? Do you know your attachment style?” was the man’s intro and lol.

Holy shit that overwritten nonsense should’ve been a giant red flag right there. Continuing: “It was like he was genuinely trying to get to know me on a deeper level. The questions felt a lot more thoughtful than the usual, ‘How’s your day going?'” Rachel said. “They were like things that you read in self-help books – really personal conversations about who we are and what we want for our lives.”

Then came the big night of their first IRL meeting at a pub. The man was boring and awkward, not charming or witty at all. “I felt like I was sitting opposite someone I’d never even spoken to. I tried to have the same sort of conversation as we’d been having online, but it was like, ‘Knock, knock, is anyone home?’ – like he knew basically nothing about me. That’s when I suspected he’d been using AI,” said Rachel, adding she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, that maybe he was nervous or not feeling well on that first date, so she met up with him again. No luck, so she ghosted on the man.

“I’d already been ChatGPT-ed into bed at least once. I didn’t want it to happen again,” she said, lol.

A Masshole pilot got fuckin destroyed by this wicked fuckin naw’easta storm on Monday, with the plane fuckin crashin right in the middle of 195 in Dahtmuth, WCVB repawts. It’s not clear if the pilot said “Nawt listenin to the fuckin queahs sayin it’s too windy to fly” or similar before taking awf but the fuckin plane made like a half mile befaw it exploded on 195 killin the pilot and a passengah.

Nobel Institute officials told local media on Monday that the assholes who correctly placed bets on Venezuelan activist Maria Corina Machado as the 2025 Peace Prize laureate had gained her identity by hacking rather than anyone with the committee having leaked it intentionally, CBS News reports.

“I don’t think there have ever been any leaks in the entire history of the prize. I can’t imagine that’s the case,” committee chairman Jorgen Frydnes told NTB news, adding that the hackers “could make it appear as if someone on the inside deliberately leaked information. That is not likely. It’s too certain to say for sure, but it’s no secret that the Nobel Institute is subject to espionage. It is obvious that the institution is of interest to actors who want to acquire information, both states and other organizations. The motives can be both political and economic. This has been going on for decades.”

Are Democrats holding our government hostage to hold a “No Kings” protest this weekend? Who is funding it? And which Democrats will participate?

These are all questions the American people deserve to have answered. pic.twitter.com/ld3H6GZZyj

— Secretary Sean Duffy (@SecDuffy) October 13, 2025

Dem former Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan has begun assembling a team to take on MAGA billionaire Vivek “Da Vek” Ramaswamy in the Buckeye State’s gubernatorial election, Cleveland.com reports.

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson continued his self-inflicted misery in front of the press on Monday morning by being very open about the fact that there is no plan, none whatsoever, to replace Obamacare, and the GOP never had one when they failed to do so in 2017, something Johnson shared his hidden secret of having suffered psychological trauma through in those days.

The newly-MAGAfied Paramount-Skydance’s $20/share bid for Warner Bros Discovery has been rejected as too insulting to even consider by the latter conglomerates’s detestable piece of shit CEO David Zaslav, Bloomberg reports on what’s likely still merely a delay in the movement for regime-friendly plutocratic media consolidation and specifically for CNN to be controlled by a loyalist.

It’s not like Zaslav and his minions refused on principle. They just want more money.

Madagascar President Andry Rajoelina’s office on Monday announced he’s due to make a big speech on national television at 7 PM local time while kind of leaving out that he’s not actually in the nation, let alone specify which other nation he’s currently holed up in, the AP reports.

Rajoelina, who was installed in 2009 by Madagascar’s elite CAPSTAT military unit amid massive civil unrest, is believed to have been evacuated by French commandos sent by President Emmanuel Macron amid massive civil unrest the led to his uninstallation by the Madagascar’s elite CAPSTAT military unit. CAPSAT commander Colonel Michael Randrianirina said his men were responding to the people’s calls for intervention when they shot a bunch of security forces who had been firing on protestors in the capital city of Antananarivo. The drama capped weeks of often violent clashes between protestors and government forces over constant electricity and water outages, driven by a group calling themselves “Gen Z Madagascar” whose leaders say they were inspired and motivated by the successful recent collapses of incompetent governments in Sri Lanka and Nepal.

Two inmates in a British prison have been charged with the murder of former Lostprophets frontman Ian Watkins, who was convicted in 2013 of conspiring to rape a child, three counts of sexual assault involving children, seven involving taking, making or possessing indecent images of children and one of possessing an extreme pornographic image involving a sex act on an animal, the BBC reports.

Rashid Gedel, 25, and Samuel Dodsworth, 43, were arraigned Monday after Watkins, was found dead of unspecified injuries in the Wakefield Prison on Saturday morning. Lostprophets had been one of the UK’s biggest bands, securing 11 top 40 hits and a number one album between 2002 and 2010, but broke up in 2013 after Watkins, 48, was sentenced to a 29 year bid for his depravity.

Monday’s Columbus Day parade in New York City has been canceled due to and ongoing storm hitting Gotham, ABC 7 reports, writing that “Eyewitness News will air a one-hour special at 1:00 pm, highlighting some of the Italian-Americans who were going to be honored at the parade,” lol.

Lol at that “were going to be honored at the parade” part and, of course, at how all the MAGA dickheads are going to be shitting bricks over the cancelation. Gov Kathy Hochul declared a state of emergency in the city, Westchester, and Long Island over the not-currently-that-bad of a storm.

Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan justified the Trump Regime prosecuting former FBI Director Jim Comey because something something Russia investigation in 2017 during an interview the CNN’s Dana Bash on Sunday morning. Bash then reminded Jordan that the charges against Comey were over 2020 testimony to Congress, to which Jordan had no real answer.