Speaker Mike Johnson didn’t dig deeper so much as maybe kind of sideways on his very ill-advised insistence from last week that convicted felon President Trump had somehow exposed his friend Jeffrey Epstein’s sex trafficking operation to the FBI, an insistence that kind of isn’t really that good to try to propagate as defense of the fat bastard’s behavior because it means that Trump actually knew about the years of this sex-trafficking operation and didn’t do anything about it until Epstein threatened to inform the FBI on Trump laundering a Russian oligarch’s money.

A crew of Japanese researchers estimate their human trials for a treatment that will regrow lost teeth could yield a commercial product by 2030, Popular Mechanics reports on a something new for UnitedHealthcare and Blue Cross Blue Shield’s dental plans to deny.

Good morning, America. How are ya’? pic.twitter.com/c1yx9ycT08

— Ed Martin (@EdMartinDOJ) September 8, 2025

The US Supreme Court on Monday overturned a lower court ruling blocking convicted felon President Trump and shitgoblin Stephen Miller’s white nationalist stormtroopers from approaching suspected illegal immigrants based solely on their appearance and ethnicity, the AP reports.

A federal appeals court on Monday ruled that convicted felon President Trump must pay rape victim EJ Carroll $83 million in a defamation judgment awarded last year, the New York Times reports.

Deputy Assistant Secretary of Agriculture Tucker Stewart, who serves as farm girl Brooke Rollins’s top liaison to Congress, is in some hot water over a cowboy-in-Washington-themed 28-page “love” story he wrote back when he was serving as an aide to Kansas Senator Roger Marshall, a steamy tale the Daily Beast reports features “graphic oral sex scenes and other explicit content.”

Further details about the story, much less the story itself, were available in the article, but whatever’s in it is reportedly bad and embarrassing enough to prompt the White House to consider firing Stewart, who should’ve date raped a married woman in a hotel room if he wanted a steady job.

“Our great West Point (getting greater all the time!) has smartly cancelled the Award Ceremony for actor Tom Hanks. Important move! We don’t need destructive, WOKE recipients getting our cherished American Awards!!! Hopefully the Academy Awards, and other Fake Award Shows, will review their Standards and Practices in the name of Fairness and Justice. Watch their DEAD RATINGS SURGE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, happy enough to gloat but too chickenshit to own up to ordering the cancelation of the West Point award ceremony honoring Hanks for his work both on screen and off advocating for service members and veterans.

And yeah, the Oscars will get right on that “Standards and Practices in the name of Fairness and Justice” shit and start doing whatever he thinks they’re supposed to. It’ll be a watershed moment.

Opposition Peronists absolutely schlonged crazy asshole Argentinian President Javier Milei’s party in Buenos Aires’s provincial elections on Sunday, taking 46.8 percent of the vote across the province, while the candidate of Milei’s La Libertad Avanza party took 33.8 percent, increasing the pressure on Milei to unfuck his political situation ahead of October’s big elections, Reuters reports.

At least 13 people are dead and dozens more injured in Kathmandu after a Monday protest at the Nepalese parliament building over the government’s decision to ban Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, and 22 other social media platforms in the country to combat hate speech, fake news, fraud, and everything else that authoritarian regimes use the apps to propagate, the BBC reports.

It’s not clear if Truth Social was among the platforms blocked. Either way it got ugly and deadly when the demonstrators made their way through a cordon around the building. “Tear gas and water cannons were used after the protesters breached into the restricted area,” said police spokesman Shekhar Khanal. What happened next is unclear but Nepal Army Spokesman Rajaram Basnet said soldiers were then deployed to the area and presumably began using live rounds against the crowd.

President Donald Trump was received with cheers at the U.S. Open final in Queens, New York, on Sunday, becoming just the second sitting president to attend the event. https://t.co/7rHLR6krVJ

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) September 8, 2025

A birthday party for douchebag MAGA podcaster Chamath Palihapitiya at Don Jr’s Georgetown club, “the Executive Branch,” was marred last week as Treasury Suckretary Scott Bessent threatened to beat the shit out of Federal Housing Finance Agency chief Bill Pulte for talking shit, Politico reports.

“Why the fuck are you talking to the president about me? Fuck you. I’m gonna punch you in your fucking face,” Bessent told Pulte during the dinner attended by Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, Hustlin Howard Lutnick, Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, SBA Administrator Kelly Loeffler, Medicare and Medicaid chief Dr Oz, plus Trump sack-licker David Sacks, Palihapitiya’s “All In” podcast co-host.

Don Jr’s partner Omeed Malik tried to get in between them but Bessent demanded Pulte be ejected from the party. “It’s either me or him,” Bessent said to Malik. “You tell me who’s getting the fuck out of here… Or we could go outside,” to which Pulte replied “To do what? To talk?”

“No, I’m going to fucking beat your ass,” the Treasury Secretary said. Malik then arranged to seat them at opposite ends of the 30 person table and the rest of the party went without incident. The two have been tasked with working together to take Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac private.

Jesus Dork Mike Johnson’s team tell the Washington Post that the Speaker of the House maybe went a little too far on Friday and instead would like the message to be that “The Speaker is reiterating what the victims’ attorney said, which is that Donald Trump – who kicked Epstein out of Mar-a-Lago – was the only one more than a decade ago willing to help prosecutors expose Epstein for being a disgusting child predator.” Since going as far as he did was ill-advised.

Deranged Florida Surgeon General Joseph Ladopo and Bobby Brainworms got an early start Sunday morning on showcasing the dumbassery of American politics in 2025. Follow along live below:

In an email obtained by pro tennis Substacker Ben Rothenberg, US Tennis Association leadership asked broadcasters to do whatever they can to make sure that viewers at home don’t hear convicted felon President Trump getting booed or otherwise abused by the crowd as he attends during Sunday’s US Open men’s final between Jannik Sinner and Carlos Alcaraz in Queens.

“With respect to Broadcast Coverage, the President will be shown on the World Feed and the Ashe Court Feed during the opening anthem ceremony. We ask all broadcasters to refrain from showcasing any disruptions or reactions in response to the President’s attendance in any capacity, including ENG [Electronic News Gathering] coverage,” wrote the USTA’s leadership. The plan is to show the Orange God Emperor during the National Anthem, “stagecraft” that Rothenberg speculates is part of an “effective” plan to “insulate” the fat bastard from getting booed audibly.

Rothenberg then notes that a list of “talking points and additional facts regarding the President’s visit” attached to the email contains only one “talking point,” that “President Trump is planning to watch the US Open Men’s Singles Final from a suite as a sponsor guest.” Per Rothenberg that sponsor is Swiss luxury watchmaker Rolex, who are trying to curry favor with the fat fuck and get a tariff carveout on their status symbol timepieces. “Though Trump being shown on the large video screens around Ashe would make for the most obvious occasion for booing or other dissent to erupt, US Open attendees are also capable of chanting or booing in protest of Trump at other times of the match, which may be unavoidable for broadcasters to successfully censor if they cause any significant disruption to the match,” Rothenberg writes about the likely futility of the directive.

The US Army’s top educational institution on Friday abruptly nixed a September 25th ceremony honoring actor Tom Hanks as the 2025 laureate of the Sylvanus Thayer Award for his decades of advocacy for veterans through his work on screen and his efforts to build the US World War II Memorial in DC, the National World War II museum in New Orleans, and the Dwight D Eisenhower Memorial, the Washington Post reports. The cancellation was announced in an email to faculty from retired Army Col Mark Bieger, president and CEO of the West Point alum association, who wrote that not holding the ceremony “allows the Academy to continue its focus on its core mission of preparing cadets to lead, fight, and win as officers in the world’s most lethal force, the United States Army.”

It’s not clear whether the Thayer award to Hanks – who starred as a service member in Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump, and Greyhound, and executive produced the critically-acclaimed World War II miniseries epics Band of Brothers, The Pacific, and Masters of the Air – had actually been revoked or if this is just the ceremony being canceled. The Post couldn’t get a straight answer.

Nor could they on why, but the Post’s list of non-mutually-exclusive possibilities is long…

Killing cartel members who poison our fellow citizens is the highest and best use of our military.

— JD Vance (@JDVance) September 6, 2025

I don’t give a shit what you call it

— JD Vance (@JDVance) September 6, 2025

Japan’s Prime Minister Shigeru Ishiba on Sunday committed political seppuku and ritually disemboweled his premiership, resigning to keep his honor intact after a bad electoral defeat for his ruling Liberal Democratic Party (who are actually conservatives) led to a likely early leadership election on Monday – which would’ve been akin to a no-confidence vote in his tenure, NHK reports.

Ishiba had only been in office since October 2024, a period marked by scandal and defeats for the LDP, losing coalition its majority in a Lower House election shortly after Ishiba took the helm and then falling short of a majority in the lower chamber in the July vote.

Dmitry Valuev, president of Russian America for Democracy in Russia, tells the Times of London that he thinks two deportation flights to Russia via Egypt in June and August were “coordinated with the Russian authorities” and “The middlemen in the US immigration system and the Russian FSB could not talk to each other directly without approval from higher up. Someone gave that approval.”

Even better: The deportees’ asylum applications, listing the reasons why they were fleeing Russia, specifically the criticisms of dictator Vlad Putin’s regime, were handed over to Kremlin officials.

“Shortly before 11 pm on Wednesday, September 3, 2025, the Clackamas County Sheriff’s Office responded to investigate a suspicious circumstance at a condominium complex on SE Old Town Court in unincorporated Clackamas County, near Happy Valley. A witness reported seeing a man who was not known to live in the complex parking his car and walking to the back of one of the buildings. The witness also noticed the door to the crawl space was open and light was coming from inside. The door then closed. When deputies arrived, they noticed the door to the crawl space was damaged and now locked. An extension cord was seen running through a vent. After contacting the owner, deputies were told that nobody was supposed to be down there and that there shouldn’t be any lights on inside. The owner also reported that they had heard strange noises coming from the crawl space before,” says a Clackamas County, Oregon Sheriff’s Office press release

“The owner gave keys to the deputies to open the crawl space, but they did not work. Deputies breached the door and located a man, identified as 40-year-old Beniamin Bucur. He had taken significant steps to improve the conditions of the crawl space and was obviously living inside.”

“Deputies observed a bed, lights, chargers, TVs, and other electronics plugged into the power of the house. Deputies estimate he had been living there for an extended period of time. A pipe with white residue that tested positive for methamphetamine was also found. Beniamin Bucur was transported to the Clackamas County Jail where he was booked on charges of Burglary in the First Degree and Unlawful Possession of Methamphetamine. During a preliminary hearing Thursday, a judge set Bucur’s bail at $75,000,” the press release about the industrious vagrant’s downfall continued.