So very, very, very nightmarishly, horrifically wrong. Lovecraftian-level mind-meltingly awfully wrong. Just wrong to where you have to question what mind would conceive of such a thing.

A federal court did not buy Tennessee Capitol rioter Edward Kelley’s argument that convicted felon President Trump’s pardon for his January 6th crimes pardoned also covered his subsequent plot to murder the FBI agents who investigated him and thus Kelley is going away for life – or until the Orange God Emperor goes out of his way to spring Kelley loose for that crime too, WATE reports.

The sentencing ruling hilariously says “Life of Imprisonment. This term consists of Life as to Count 1, 240 Months as to Count 2, and 120 Months as to Count 3, such terms to run concurrently for a net term of Life. Followed by 5 Years Supervised Release,” emphasis added on the supervision of Kelley’s corpse whenever it’s removed from a federal prison’s mortuary after he expires.

“The Alabama Department of Agriculture and Industries has confirmed the presence of Africanized Honeybees in Barbour County following the collection of a feral swarm by local beekeepers.”

“The swarm has been humanely euthanized to protect Alabama’s honeybee populations. As a precautionary response, ADAI is implementing targeted monitoring efforts to assess and contain the presence of AHB in the area. Traps are being deployed within a 5-mile radius of the detection site to identify any additional activity. These efforts are part of the Department’s ongoing commitment to safeguarding pollinators and supporting local beekeepers,” says a press release from the Alabama Department of Agriculture and Industries touching on a lot of Alabaman cultural sensitivities.

I know my Wawas and I am certain this is in Richmond, the one off of I-95

There are currently only 4 Wawas in DC and none of them have gas pumps https://t.co/DxcZ10ZvfS

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) July 2, 2025

There was already plenty enough to be said about this fucking nutcase carrying a dog with her in public to go buy Red Bull in her pajamas at a Wawa at 1:29 AM and putting it on the internet set to AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell.” The fact that she didn’t even know what state she was in at the time and it’s on a notorious conspiracy theorist to truther it is just icing on the cheap, stale Wawa donut.

“An 18 year-old apparently wasn’t ‘lovin’ it’ when he received his McDonald’s order, with Polk County deputies saying he called the fast food restaurant multiple times, threatening to shoot it up,” writes Ryan Burkett, the apparent wittiest member of Fox 13 Tampa’s digital content staff, who put it all out there on the field to make readers chuckle at the most what-passes-for-clever incorporation of a fast food giant’s advertising slogan into a story of terroristic threats not seen since a February 28, 2024 article that opened with “A Winter Haven man quickly learned that he couldn’t always have it his way when he pointed a gun at another vehicle in the parking lot of a Burger King,” by Nancy Gay.

It’s not clear if there’s any sort of mentor-student relationship between Burkett and Gay. Or a friendly rivalry. Or an unfriendly rivalry. Or maybe one of the above but they also fuck on their lunch breaks. Or an unfriendly rivalry where they used to fuck on their lunch breaks until one of them started fucking another coworker which prompted jealousy and anger that fed into the rivalry.

What is clear however is that Burkett probably wishes it were Taco Bell and that the suspect, 18 year-old Dayton Schaffer had gone to the location and held the workers hostage at gunpoint. Then Burkett could’ve written that the employees were pleading that they wanted to “Live Más.”

Anyway the asshole’s been charged with false report concerning the use of a firearm against persons and misuse of a 2-way communication device for making the threats over a $5 meal deal that he said the McDonald’s had “messed up.” Before getting distracted by the Fox 13 lede, National Zero had intended to headline this story as “Florida man threatens McMassacre over McFuckup.”

“The president of the United States didn’t give us an assignment. We’re not a bunch of little bitches around here, okay? I’m a member of Congress. I represent almost 800,000 Wisconsinites” – MAGA Congressman Derrick Van Orden, quoted by Punchbowl’s Kenzie Nguyen.

pic.twitter.com/wMIQDdjMUZ

— Rep. Jim Jordan (@Jim_Jordan) July 2, 2025

Almost as amazing as this clip itself – in which spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan encourages wavering fellow Republicans to just vote yes even if the bill is complete shit – is the fact that lib journalist clip guy Aaron Rupar tweeted a shorter version minutes earlier.

A report issued by JP Morgan Chase on Wednesday estimates that the costs of convicted felon President Trump’s trade war on midsize firms “across the US are estimated as $82.3 billion, or $2,080 per middle market employee, on average. This represents about 3.1 percent of the average annual payroll of a US midsize firm. However, this is an estimate of the direct costs of tariffs averaged out over all midsize firms, including those that do not import – in practice, some firms are likely to incur higher direct tariff costs than this, while others will bear no direct costs at all. Note that our estimates show the direct costs that would apply if firms continued to import at 2022 levels and pay the associated tariffs. Importers may be able to mitigate the upfront costs in different ways, such as by raising sales prices or switching to suppliers subject to lower or no tariffs.”

“However, doing so might still be costly, as alternative suppliers may charge higher prices. For certain specialized inputs, a viable alternative supplier may not exist,” the report continued.

A perusal of the reviews of ICEBlock – currently rated 2.5 out of 5 stars – on the Apple iOS App Store reveals several of the 10 visible user submissions for the app are politically motivated opinions rather than sincere weighings of the merits of the app’s user interface, performance, an so on.

For example, a one-star review headlined “Unpatriotic” says “Hispanic here, we left our countries to come to America to flee from crime and you want them to stay here. Here’s a suggestion why don’t you have them move in with you? Immigration is a privilege not a right! And everyone should follow the law. This is incredibly disturbing that you would put actual Americans at risk for those that feel they have a right to be here. Not to mention the hundreds of actual terrorists that came through the border. Honestly you should be ashamed and anyone who is supporting your madness. I am Latina ICE gets these criminals out of here and may God protect all of you always!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸”

Another MAGA iPhone user called it a “Violent Extremist National Security Threat” and then simply copied and pasted ICE Director Todd Lyons’s statement in which he claimed “CNN is willfully endangering the lives of officers who put their lives on the line every day and enabling dangerous criminal aliens to evade US law. Is this simply reckless ‘journalism’ or overt activism.”

“THE ONE BIG BEAUTIFUL DEAL IS ALL ABOUT GTOWTH. IF PASSED, AMERICA WILL HAVE AN ECONOMIC RENAISSANCE LIKE NEVER BEFORE. IT IS ALREADY HAPPENING, JUST IN ANTICIPATION OF THE BEAUTIFUL BILL. DEFICIT CUT IN HALF, RECORD INVESTMENT – CASH, FACTORIES, JOBS POURING INTO THE USA. MAGA!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, still too fucking cheap to hire devs to add an edit button to his shitty Twitter clone.

A Manhattan federal jury on Wednesday delivered a verdict finding hip-hop-themed sex-trafficking mogul Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs not guilty two of five counts of sex-trafficking-related crimes. The two counts seem to be relatively chickenshit “Transportation for prostitution” charges, per Inner City Press’s Matt Lee. Combs walked on the RICO and sex-trafficking charges which would’ve put him away for life, but the two guilty counts carry a maximum of 10 years each, so not nothing either.

In a 4-3 decision dropped on Wednesday, the Wisconsin state Supreme Court killed the state’s 1849 ban on abortion, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports on elections having consequences.

MAGA Justice Becky Bradley was butthurt in her dissent, writing the majority “erases a law it does not like, making four lawyers sitting on the state’s highest court more powerful than the People’s representatives in the legislature… Any remaining doubt over whether the majority’s decisions are motivated by the policy predilections of its members has been extinguished by its feeble attempt to justify a raw exercise of political power. The majority not only does violence to a single statute; it defies the People’s sovereignty.” Bradley voted to block certifying Joe Biden’s 2020 win in the state.

Asked Wednesday by CNBC’s Andrew Ross Sorkin “Why are we currently not getting 2.8 percent growth if what we’re talking about extending tax cuts that are already in place? What is gonna get you the 2.8 number,” House Majority Whip Tom Emmer shared his secret sauce to getting growth at the pace necessary to cover the deficit wrought by the bill they’re about to pass: “Donald Trump.”

Yes, that’s what he said. “Donald Trump.”

“As President of the United States, I’m not going to let this Communist Lunatic destroy New York. Rest assured, I hold all the levers, and have all the cards. I’ll save New York City, and make it ‘Hot’ and ‘Great’ again, just like I did with the Good Ol’ USA!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday, ominously threatening the same abuses to Gotham he inflicted in his first failed term.

The threat followed a similarly deranged post: “Nobody wants to talk about GROWTH, which will be the primary reason that the Big, Beautiful Bill will be one of the most successful pieces of legislation ever passed. THIS GROWTH has already begun at levels never seen before. Trillions of Dollars are now being invested into the USA, more than ever before. Likewise, hundreds of Billions of Dollars in Tariffs are filling up the coffers of Treasury. The Tariff money has already arrived and is setting new records!” Just have to stop there to note that he left out who’s actually paying these fucking tariffs.

Continued the Orange Megalomaniac: “We are growing our way out of the Sleepy Joe Biden MESS that he and Democrats left us, and it is happening much faster than anyone thought possible. Our Country will make a fortune this year, more than any of our competitors, but only if the Big, Beautiful Bill is PASSED! As they say, Trump’s been right about everything, and this is the easiest of them all to predict. Republicans, don’t let the Radical Left Democrats push you around. We’ve got all the cards, and we are going to use them. Last year America was a ‘DEAD’ Nation, with no hope for the future, and now it’s the ‘HOTTEST NATION IN THE WORLD!’ MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

“Private sector employment shed 33,000 jobs in June and annual pay was up 4.4 percent year-over-year, according to the June ADP National Employment Report® produced by ADP Research in collaboration with the Stanford Digital Economy Lab (‘Stanford Lab’). The ADP National Employment Report is an independent measure and high-frequency view of the private-sector labor market based on actual, anonymized payroll data of more than 25 million US employees,” says ADP in a Wednesday press release. Per CNBC, analysts had forecast 100,000 new jobs.

Sooooooooo… Yeah not great. They did miss pretty badly in May, so who knows.

This is your reminder to cancel your Paramount+ subscription, should you have one. If you don’t then disregard and instead never fucking sign up for it, ever. Either way, boycott all Paramount movies, TV shows, and all of their other entertainment properties, whatever they may be. Remove MTV, VH1, Nickelodeon etc from your cable package if you can, block them from it if you can’t, do whatever you can to not spend another dime on or watch another minute of ad-supported Paramount content.

Do NOT however take this out on CBS News. Continue to watch their broadcasts and visit their website. CBS Sports? Make your own call on that. Some might see the division as entertainment-adjacent, others news-adjacent. What isn’t subjective is that the people in the news division did not want their C-suite bribing a fascist dictator like this is fucking Hungary and it’s incumbent on you to continue to do what you can to support them. The talent in the entertainment division can find work elsewhere, their series can move to other networks, movies can go to other studios, and so on.

And if you get a prompt asking you why you’re canceling (unfortunately the cancelation workflow in the subscription via Amazon Prime does not include that) tell them this is why. That you cannot in good conscience abide them paying one piece of silver for that Shari Redstone hag to get her 30 with that fucking Skydance merger, that this is the wage of their sin of selling out decent journalists.

In a March 20, 2025 FoxNews.com segment headlined “Trump praised for empowering states, parents with elimination of Education Department,” Republican West Virginia state Senator Jason Barrett reacted to the convicted felon president’s order to eliminate the US Department of Education with just that: praise. “Well I think what this does is it empowers states, it empowers communities, and more importantly it empowers parents. And I think that any time the federal government can take a step back, return power to the states and communities, I think that’s a great thing and that’s what we in West Virginia are looking to do,” said Barrett in the 5:43 AM hit.

Then, in what appears to be his very next interview with a national media outlet, Barrett this week told CBS News that he’s worried about his 94 year-old grandmother’s nursing home and the rest of the 77 percent of Mountain State senior care residents who rely on Medicaid for their stays in the facilities after all four of the Republicans in their Congressional delegation voted to drastically fuck them over. “We have to get to a place where we’re balancing our budget again. I don’t think we do that on the backs of nursing home residents,” said Barrett, adding he’s also dreading having to legislate a fix. “A complete backfill of cuts to Medicaid would be very crippling to our state budget.”

Things are totally moving in convicted felon President Trump’s direction in Iran as Tehran on Wednesday told the International Atomic Energy Agency’s inspectors to go fuck themselves and banned them from monitoring the country’s nuclear program, the Associated Press reports.

“At the recommendation of Gen Gregory M Guillot, Commander, US Northern Command, and approved by the Secretary of Defense, Task Force 51 will release approximately 150 members of the California National Guard from the Federal Protection mission today. USNORTHCOM and Task Force 51 are still appropriately sourced to conduct our Federal Protection Mission. For more information on the disposition of the released soldiers, please contact the California National Guard. Task Force 51 is US Army North’s Contingency Command Post under the command of Maj Gen Scott M Sherman. The mission of TF 51 is protecting federal personnel conducting federal functions, as well as federal property,” said Northcom in a statement signaling the beginning of the end of the deployment.