Thousands in the German city of Cologne were sent fleeing from their homes and offices after our boys overseas dropped a couple of presents for the families of Nazi Wehrmacht’s soldiers.

Seriously. From a translated alert notice by the Cologne city government: “During exploratory work on Monday, June 2, 2025, three unexploded bombs from World War II were discovered in Deutz.”

“These are two American 20-ton bombs and an American 10-ton bomb, each with impact fuses. The Explosive Ordnance Disposal Service of the Düsseldorf District Government is expected to defuse the three unexploded bombs on Wednesday, June 4, 2025. We are sealing off and evacuating the danger zone within a radius of 1,000 meters from 8 am on Wednesday.”

“Around 20,500 residents and a large number of working people are affected by the evacuation. In addition, numerous infrastructure facilities and businesses are affected. These include the Eduardus Hospital, two retirement homes, the Cologne Messe/Deutz train station, stops on KVB lines 1, 7, and 9, numerous large companies such as the trade fair center, RTL, HDI Insurance, LVR, the LANXESS arena, the Musical Dome, the Philharmonic Hall, many museums, large parts of city administration on both sides of the Rhine, 58 hotels, numerous restaurants, nine schools, and many daycare centers.”

“The evacuation is the largest operation since the end of World War II. Everyone involved hopes that the defusing can be completed by Wednesday. This will only be possible if all those affected leave their homes or workplaces early and stay outside the evacuation area from the outset. We ask you to cooperate and follow our instructions so that the evacuation and defusing can proceed quickly and safely,” the Jerries said as they cowered at the wrath of Uncle Sam’s war machine.

The crew of a massive cargo vessel, the Zodiac Maritime-owned “Morning Midas,” carrying over 3,000 Chinese-made electric vehicles bound for Mexico kind of abandoned ship on Wednesday and now the fiery hulk is drifting around the north Pacific around Alaska’s remote Aleutian Islands, Bloomberg reports. All 22 crew members were safely evacuated by the US Coast Guard. It’s not clear what happens next with the still-burning 600-foot long vessel filled with lithium ion batteries.

As in if this ends in any way other than it melting, breaking apart, and sinking into the ocean.

Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Sergei Ryabkov on Wednesday urged “London and Washington to react in such a way as to stop further escalation” after a third of their bomber fleet was destroyed in a stunning drone attack by Ukrainian SBU agents deep inside Russia, Reuters reports.

“All options are on the table,” Ryabkov said when asked what Russia’s response to Ukraine’s attacks would be. “This is a question for our military,” he added, kind of contradicting himself.

“These are several areas that prove the fact of the involvement, both direct and indirect, and the guilt of the West for the terrorist attacks that are taking place against civilians and civilian infrastructure facilities by the Kyiv regime,” said Kremlin Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova, further contradicting the shit her boss just said about Ukraine being responsible, lol.

Addressing his flock of geese in a Wednesday morning all-hands meeting, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson told House Republicans that he’s called and texted emerging traitor Elon Musk to explain how the DOGE cuts/rescissions and reconciliation processes being separate but, per Politico’s Meredith Lee Hill, it doesn’t seem like he’s gotten it through to the drug-addicted psychopath.

Johnson was stuck tried to calm his members over Musk’s threat to fund primary challengers to those who voted in favor of the Big Beautiful Bill, arguing that Musk is still citing CBO scoring on the bill that it adds trillions to the debt. Which was just updated this morning saying that it still adds trillions to the national debt – $2.4 trillion, more precisely. Johnson’s message, per Hill, was that all sorts of people will have differences of opinion on the important matter, so don’t take it personally.

It’s not clear how being threatened by a deranged fucking maniac with more money than God might be taken other than personally by a House Republican. They’re not exactly known for humility, lol.

There should be zero text under this clip. It should speak for itself in all its glory. However it’s necessary to point out that Maria Bartiromo isn’t handing James Comer any rope so much as swinging next to him. Or, to be the slightest bit charitable, that maybe she’s sparing him some embarrassment. Kind of a stretch though, considering that she is the Maria Bartiromo and all.

At least 10 cricket fans are dead after things got out of hand at a cricket stadium in Bengaluru, India on Wednesday during a victory celebration for cricket Premier League 2025 champs the Bengalaru Royal Challengers, the Hindu Reports while noting the death toll is expected to go up.

Cricket is a bat-and-ball sport played between two teams of 11 players on a circular field with a 22-yard pitch at the center. One team bats, aiming to score runs by hitting the ball and running between wickets, while the other bowls and fields to restrict runs and dismiss batters. Each side takes turns batting and fielding. A match can last from a few hours (T20 format) to five days (Test cricket).

Players score by hitting the ball and running or by hitting boundaries. The team with the most runs at the end of the match wins. Strategy, patience, and precision are key. Cricket is popular in countries that were formerly part of the British Empire, particularly Pakistan and India – the nation in which the horrible tragedy occurred during what was supposed to be a day of celebration for the squad.

In conclusion cricket is a sport with a rich history that can seem confusing to unfamiliar audiences.

“ADP NUMBER OUT!!! ‘Too Late’ Powell must now LOWER THE RATE. He is unbelievable!!! Europe has lowered NINE TIMES!” president post on Wednesday. Very mad, panicky. Too late, lower rate rhyme.

ADP number not good. Nerds forecast 37,000 more jobs vs 114,000 expected. Rate bad.

TACO Tuesday was in full swing as the Trump Regime chickened out of what probably would’ve been a bit excessive, even for them, this time by granting one year of humanitarian parole to Mexican national Deysi Vargas and her four year-old daughter, identified only as SGV, who suffers from a condition that would almost certainly be fatal if she’s deported, NBC News reports.

SGV has short bowel syndrome, affecting her small intestine and seriously hampering her ability to absorb nutrients from food. She requires complex daily treatment to get the proper nutrition, and wears a portable backpack outside of the home, according to her family and lawyers.

Iranian dictator Ayatollah Ali Khamenei on Wednesday officially rejected convicted felon President Trump’s proposed agreement on the fascist theocracy’s nuclear program, with Hairy Al’s main sticking point the total proscription of uranium enrichment, Jewish Insider reports on another foreign policy failure that will be spun as somehow a victory for the toughest negotiator ever.

Khamenei announced the collapse of the talks during a speech at some other robed Shiite wizard’s grave, saying that Iran’s “enemies have focused all their attention on this very process of uranium enrichment… A nuclear industry without enrichment capabilities is useless because we would then be dependent on others to obtain fuel for our power plants,” and warning that without enrichment, Iran would be “reliant on them for radiopharmaceuticals, energy, desalination equipment and in tens of other critical sectors.” There’s been some back-and-forth on the reporting on whether Trump’s coffee boy Steve Witkoff had actually put a low allowance for enrichment on the table for the Iranians, but either way Trump nuked that provision in a Monday night Truth Social post.

“The rude, insolent US leaders want this. They’re opposed to progress and self-sufficiency for the Iranian people… Those in power today – the Zionists and the Americans – should know they can’t do a damn thing in this area,” Khamenei said as probably upward of a thousand armed personnel surrounded him to guard against ISIS suicide bombers and Iranian citizens angry at their low standard of living, shitty wages, lack of educational and employment opportunities, and so on.

BREAKING: Rep James Comer announces the Biden investigation is expanding and more senior officials will be called to testify before the House Oversight Committee. pic.twitter.com/MY6zNDQBQ1

— Sean Hannity 🇺🇸 (@seanhannity) June 4, 2025

“Today, the non-partisan ethics watchdog, the Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust (FACT), filed a complaint requesting the Board of Ethics and Government Accountability investigate and take appropriate action against Muriel Bowser, Mayor of Washington, DC, to determine if she accepted illegal gifts of travel and hospitality regarding several of her recent prominent trips. Despite public inquiries, the mayor’s office has either ignored questions or provided false information about her travels,” says a press release from the Foundation for Accountability and Civic Trust (FACT).

“In 2023, Mayor Bowser and four of her staffers traveled to Doha for the UN Climate Conference in Dubai. No record showed who funded the trip (except a three-night $3,500 taxpayer-paid hotel stay in Dubai from Bowser’s Chief of Staff). When the press questioned this, the mayor’s office initially said the trip was paid for by the DC Chamber of Commerce. The Chamber later said that was not true. Then, the mayor’s office said the trip was paid for by the US Conference of Mayors.”

“That was also false. Then in February, the mayor’s office sent a letter to Qatar because it was Qatar who actually paid for their trip. The letter requested an expense breakdown, labeled the payments as an ‘in-kind donation’, and sought a retroactive donation agreement – despite the trip occurring years earlier. Shockingly, it wasn’t until a March 2025 FOIA request that it was publicly revealed Qatar had paid over $61,930 for the 2023 trip the mayor’s office now claims was a donation. As of May 2025, the District still lacks a record of Qatar’s payment. In addition to their Qatar excursion, the Mayor has taken a handful of other trips which have gone unreported – including to the Masters Golf Tournament, Las Vegas, Miami, and Mar-a-Lago,” the watchdog’s Tuesday press release continued.

“With the exception of the RIGGED PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2020, THE AUTOPEN IS THE BIGGEST POLITICAL SCANDAL IN AMERICAN HISTORY!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 2:28 AM on Wednesday, which along with “THE UNITED STATES HAD THE BEST MAY IN 30 YEARS. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!” and “I like President XI of China, always have, and always will, but he is VERY TOUGH, AND EXTREMELY HARD TO MAKE A DEAL WITH!!!” several minutes earlier were his first posts since drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk Cybertrucked the Big Beautiful Bill. It’s almost like the fat bastard was upset but was still taking pains to avoid addressing Elon.

White trash Britons Jonathan Christopher Collyer, 38, Lisa Ellen Stocker, 39, and Phineas Ambrose Float, 31, are facing the death penalty after Collyer and Stocker thought boxes of some kind of powdered pudding mix called “Angel Delight” was the perfect disguise for a kilogram of cocaine for delivery to Float, the Telegraph reports on some dumb Limeys about to reach the find out phase.

If convicted and sentenced to the firing squad, the three would be the 97th, 98th, and 99th foreigners on Indonesia’s death row for drug offenses, though there’s a moratorium in place.

So @elonmusk is right to call out House Leadership. I wish I had a nickel for every time the @freedomcaucus sounded the alarm and nobody listened, only to find out the hard way we were right all along. https://t.co/sVnAzh6C8H

— Rep. Scott Perry (@RepScottPerry) June 3, 2025

The stupid twatwaffle later edited the tweet to add “We expect MASSIVE improvements from the Senate before it gets back to the House,” but keeping the original here just for fun.

Cops in Palm Beach, Florida on Tuesday arrested a 23 year-old Texas man who jumped the wall around convicted felon President Trump’s hooker pad seeking to copulate with Donald’s 18 year-old granddaughter Kai and talk to the Orange Jesus about “the gospel,” Palm Beach Daily News reports.

Anthony Thomas Reyes faces a misdemeanor trespassing charge, court records show. He remained at the Palm Beach County Jail on a $50,000 bond after pleading not guilty later in the day during his initial appearance before Judge Daliah Weiss, according to jail records obtained by the Daily News.

Sad story that goes to show Trump isn’t really the “man of the people” his fans claim he is. A real down-to-earth guy would have texted Reyes to say he can eff his teenage granddaughter while waiting from him to fly down from DC so they could hang out and talk about the Bible.

Warner Discovery shareholders on Tuesday rejected the $51.9 million pay package for utterly detestable fucking cocksucker CEO David Zaslav, the Wall Street Journal reports. The vote was unfortunately symbolic and non-binding due to some “say on pay” provision apparently common in the world of executive compensation. Still, it could be a hint that the cheap, loathsome twat, who’s overseen a 59 percent drop in the media company’s market value since taking over via a merger with Discovery Channel in 2022, has finally worn out his welcome with them at least.

Zaslav’s greatest hits include the CNN Chris Licht debacle, shelving a fucking $90 million Batgirl movie starting a Latina actress as the titular superhero when it was almost finished so he could write it off their taxes, removing content from HBO Max like the show Westworld so he could deprive actors of pennies of royalties every time someone streamed it, and other greedy, cuntish, and stupid moves all while taking home $140 million. Oh and fighting game fans were fucked over by the MultiVersus shutdown last week. Zaslav should be demoted to test subject at an Acme TNT facility.

Six One-Way Tickets for Mohamed’s Wife and Five Kids. Final Boarding Call Coming Soon. ✈️ pic.twitter.com/R32j1Ic8Ml

— The White House (@WhiteHouse) June 3, 2025

Hmmm… Seems kind of cruel and gratuitous, doesn’t it?

You will not be at all surprised to learn that Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s apparent belief or soothing self-delusion or whatever that drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s sudden betrayal of the MAGA GOP’s Big Beautiful Bill was “not personal” was incorrect and that it is actually personal, according to Axios’s Marc Caputo’s White House sources – who obviously came with him to “Be Smart” bullet point land when he got poached from the Bulwark a few months ago.

Convicted felon President Trump has yet to comment publicly on the drama and all Caputo has so far is that he’s “irked” by the turn – which Musk continued ranting against on Twitter on Tuesday, posting shit like “In November next year, we fire all politicians who betrayed the American people” by voting for the Big Beautiful Bill, lol – but a source summarized the reason with “Elon was butthurt.”

Musk’s grievances against the Trump Regime and the GOP, per Caputo’s sources, can be summarized as (1) The bill gutting the electric vehicle tax credit. (2) The 130-day limit for his “special government employee status” that led to his termination, whatever you want to call it. Nobody with even the most cursory understanding of the Trump style of “governing” believes for a fucking second that they give a shit about the law and that he couldn’t continue there in some official or unofficial capacity if Team Trump wanted him to stay. (3) The FAA wouldn’t buy a Starlink system for air traffic control because it would’ve been a conflict of interest and, per a source “You can’t have air traffic control just run off satellites.” Again, lol. Even if it didn’t work the Trump Regime still would’ve bought it if they wanted to. (4) Trump withdrew that Jared Isaacman chode’s nomination for NASA administrator which, as quite a few people believed, was a fuck you to Musk.

Apparently Musk is one of those people too, and he was not happy his dude got fired.

“Over this last weekend, for those of us who try to keep up with political news, it was hard to miss a headline from an Iowa town hall. When defending the Medicaid cuts that the popularly known ‘Big Beautiful Bill’ contained, Sen Joni Ernst (R-IA) scoffed, seemingly in frustration, ‘Well, we’re all going to die.’ Democrats, trying to make political hay out of the comment, replayed it frequently, and the quote quickly made its way into meme form. Shortly after the original town hall, Ernst posted a video to social media where she, citing her faith, sarcastically doubled down on her remark,” writes Larry Sabato’s Crystal Ball/University of Virginia Center for Politics, going on to explain that the change from “Safe” to “Likely” was also prompted by Dem state Rep JD Scholten’s entry into the race.

Scholten came within 3 percent of defeating utterly fucking demented white nationalist Steve King in 2018 before taking a beating to King’s replacement, the now-Congressman Randy Feenstra in 2020. Scholten still outperformed Joe Biden in the deep red 4th District. He could prove formidable.

Republican Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin on Tuesday announced the state’s 11th District special election to replace the late Congressman Gerry Connolly for September 9th, Fox News reports.

At 111 days after Connolly’s death on May 21st, it’s nearly a month longer than the 85 between the November 2022 death of other Dem Donald McEachin and the special to replace him, but then again Congress is out from July 25th through September 2nd, so the actual work days missed would probably end up being a wash – though it’d be nice to have another Dem ready to be sworn in before September. Either way, Youngkin once again isn’t pulling the same cunty move Ron DeSantis did back in 2021, delaying a special in a blue district by nine months, or what Low Energy Greg is doing now currently by delaying the special to replace Congressman Sylvester Turner until November.

In related news on the other seat Connolly’s death left empty, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett on Tuesday announced she’s running for ranking member of the House Oversight Committee.