“Two weeks ago China was in grave economic danger! The very high Tariffs I set made it virtually impossible for China to TRADE into the United States marketplace which is, by far, number one in the World. We went, in effect, COLD TURKEY with China, and it was devastating for them. Many factories closed and there was, to put it mildly, ‘civil unrest.’ I saw what was happening and didn’t like it, for them, not for us. I made a FAST DEAL with China in order to save them from what I thought was going to be a very bad situation, and I didn’t want to see that happen. Because of this deal, everything quickly stabilized and China got back to business as usual. Everybody was happy!”

“That is the good news!!! The bad news is that China, perhaps not surprisingly to some, HAS TOTALLY VIOLATED ITS AGREEMENT WITH US. So much for being Mr NICE GUY!” TACO man just posted on his shitty Twitter clone and does anyone have any idea what the fuck he’s rambling about this time? What “AGREEMENT” is he talking about? What’s he going to actually do to them? And what the hell kind of “civil unrest” happened at Chinese factories? Is he blurting out classified intel or is he just making shit up, because there hasn’t been any actual reporting on that happening.

In a deeply fucked up story that National Zero failed to pick up last week, two crypto industry douchebags – John Woeltz, 37 and William Duplessie, 32, stand accused of torturing an Italian national for 17 days in a luxury Manhattan townhouse, tying him up and repeatedly beating him, electrocuting him, dangling him over the edge of a five-story staircase shaft, and forcing him to smoke crack in order to force his crypto wallet passwords out of him so they could steal $30 million of the digital Monopoly money. The man escaped shortly afterward and Woeltz was arrested at the scene. Duplessie partied in the Hamptons all weekend before turning himself in on Tuesday.

And it gets more fucked up: WNBC reports that the NYPD’s Internal Affairs Bureau is investigating a detective on Mayor Eric Adams’s personal security detail who also moonlighted as protection for Woeltz. While that in and of itself is not alarming as the practice is fairly common in the NYPD and the department has a process for cops to register such off-hours work, WNBC’s report mentions that the IAB is looking into whether the detective had picked the unnamed Italian man from the airport and drove him to Woeltz’s townhouse. It’s not clear yet whether the detective ever sought approval to work for Woeltz, but either way this story was already pretty dark before that part.

Now it’s getting awfully close to the “New York’s Finest Taxi Service” bit from The Usual Suspects.

“An IT specialist employed by the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) was arrested today for attempting to transmit national defense information to an officer or agent of a foreign government.”

“Nathan Vilas Laatsch, 28, of Alexandria, Virginia, was arrested today in northern Virginia, and will make his initial court appearance in the Eastern District of Virginia tomorrow. According to court documents, Laatsch became a civilian employee of the DIA in 2019, where he works with the Insider Threat Division and holds a Top Secret security clearance. In March 2025, the FBI commenced an operation after receiving a tip that an individual – now known to be Laatsch – offered to provide classified information to a friendly foreign government. In that email, the sender wrote that he did not ‘agree or align with the values of this administration’ and was therefore ‘willing to share classified information’ that he had access to, including ‘completed intelligence products, some unprocessed intelligence, and other assorted classified documentation,'” says a Justice Department press release that of course does not name the nation Laatsch intended to hand the info over to.

“After multiple communications with an FBI agent – who Laatsch allegedly believed to be an official of the foreign government – Laatsch began transcribing classified information to a notepad at his desk and, over the course of approximately three days, repeatedly exfiltrated the information from his workspace. Laatsch subsequently confirmed to the FBI agent that he was prepared to transmit the information,” the press release continued and whatever shit this guy had almost certainly had to be good. Well “good” as in extremely damning or embarrassing to the Orange God Emperor.

Drug-addicted billionaire Elon Musk’s ketamine problem got so bad last year that he began having bladder issues, which the New York Times writes is “a known effect of chronic use,” of the narcotic which, along with a shit ton of shrooms, ecstasy, and Adderall, was always in a pill box the 53 year-old illegal immigrant carried with him on the campaign trail last year, per sources that also say he’s been struggling with video game addiction and binge eating problems since joining Team Orange.

In February the New York Post reported that 26 year-old porn actress Litzy Lara Banuelos, stage name Emily Willis, has been left in a “permanent vegetative state” as a result of ketamine abuse. Not saying one thing or the other but, well that’s extremely tragic given her age and circumstances…

Whereas if the same were to happ- ANYWAY, on Thursday the Daily Beast reported that Stephen Miller’s wife Katie would be departing the administration to go work for Musk full time. Without saying anything else, the Beast mentions that Musk has fathered at least 14 children, at least one of whom was a Tesla and/or SpaceX employee. Katie Miller is about 32 or 33 years old and petite.

Belgium’s future queen, Princess Elisabeth, caught up in Harvard foreign student crackdown https://t.co/5CHqJweke2 pic.twitter.com/CxqCcgKviq

— New York Post (@nypost) May 30, 2025

“Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem released the following statement after US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) arrested an illegal alien who threatened to assassinate President Trump,” said a Wednesday DHS press release quoting the dog murderer with “Thanks to our ICE officers, this illegal alien who threatened to assassinate President Trump is behind bars. This threat comes not even a year after President Trump was shot in Butler, Pennsylvania and less than two weeks after former FBI Director Comey called for the President’s assassination. All politicians and members of the media should take notice of these repeated attempts on President Trump’s life and tone down their rhetoric. I will continue to take all measures necessary to ensure the protection of President Trump.” The stupid asshole just had to bring James Comey into it, lol.

The release then named “Ramon Morales-Reyes, a 54-year-old illegal alien from Mexico,” as having penned the letter in very bubbly handwriting and near-perfect English with only two misspellings.

Former NYPD Commissioner and Trump crony Bernie Kerik died at the age of 69 on Thursday from “a private battle with illness,” according to FBI director and fellow “Stop the Steal” d-bag Kash Patel, Fox News reports on the end of a not-terribly well-regarded figure in the MAGA community.

Leave it to the GOP to push their biggest donor away.

All they had to do was codify the DOGE cuts and they could have had unlimited funding for the midterms.

They somehow managed to F that up.

Now @elonmusk is pissed and walking away.

Can’t really blame him.

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) May 29, 2025

A church friend of detained Hong Kong immigrant Ming Li “Carol” Hui tells the New York Times that she “voted for Donald Trump, and so did practically everyone here,” in their Missouri town. “But no one voted to deport moms. We were all under the impression we were just getting rid of the gangs, the people who came here in droves,” added Vanessa Cowart, the “friend” of Carol, who has two boys, 14 and 12, and a 7 year-old girl with her Guatemalan-born partner, who is apparently a citizen.

“Lost a lot of good men today. I like Trump but this isn’t what I voted for. This will absolutely kill the economy in construction. I thought he was going after gang members and criminals with warrants, not hard working guys,” posted construction manager Jake Cowan from the site of Thursday’s ICE raid in Tallahassee, Florida. No Jake, this is actually what you voted for and you didn’t realize it.

“My fiancee’s visa got denied to be renewed… She’s a Chinese woman who is 46 and has never done a crime or done anything wrong… Why are your immigration policies punishing innocent people?” tweeted Brian Lane in reply to @realDonaldTrump last week. “I did not vote for this. I voted for you to control the crime that was coming into this country. Not run off innocent women who’ve been here for a long time. And only needed their Visa renewed.” Again, Brian did in fact vote for this.

“The US Court of International Trade incredibly ruled against the United States of America on desperately needed Tariffs but, fortunately, the full 11 Judge Panel on the US Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit Court has just stayed the order by the Manhattan-based Court of International Trade. Where do these initial three Judges come from? How is it possible for them to have potentially done such damage to the United States? Is it purely a hatred of ‘TRUMP?’ What other reason could it be? I was new to Washington, and it was suggested that I use The Federalist Society as a recommending source on Judges. I did so, openly and freely, but then realized that they were under the thumb of a real ‘sleazebag’ named Leonard Leo, a bad person who, in his own way, probably hates America, and obviously has his own separate ambitions,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday, turning on a god of the right wing legal movement, possibly foolishly.

“I am pleased to nominate Paul Ingrassia to head the United States Office of Special Counsel (OSC). Paul is a highly respected attorney, writer, and Constitutional Scholar, who has done a tremendous job serving as my White House Liaison for Homeland Security. Paul holds degrees from both Cornell Law School and Fordham University, where he majored in Mathematics and Economics, graduating near the top of his class. Congratulations Paul!” posted convicted felon President Trump Thursday.

Among other hateful MAGA bullshit, Ingrassia is the author of the Nikki Haley birther theory. He never disputed whether she was born in the US, just that she was ineligible for the presidency because her parents weren’t citizens at the time of her birth. John Eastman tried the same shit with Kamala Harris back in 2020, but didn’t get a whole lot of traction with it. Which meant it was perfect for Ingrassia to plagiarize it to absolutely no effect whatsoever against Nikki Haley.

An unnamed Miami cop pulled an absolutely kick ass move in the Bayfront Park area on Sunday when he clung to the hood of a moving BMW whose driver had tried to run him over, pulled out his service pistol, and proceeded to blast the son of a bitch through the windshield, NBC6 reports.

Supect Menelek Clarke, 21, is facing charges including aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, leaving the scene of a crash with no serious bodily injury, fleeing or eluding a police officer, and resisting an officer with violence, jail records showed. Clarke was arraigned via videoconference from his hospital bed on Thursday. An arrest report says the officer had been directing traffic outside of a concert when Carke’s car made contact with him. “The defendant began slowly driving towards officer [name redacted] who can be seen on body-worn camera using a whistle and raising his hand with his palm facing outward, signaling the defendant to stop,” the report said.

Clarke then kept driving, causing the cop “to bend forward and place both hands on the hood of the vehicle to maintain his balance,” after which Clarke hit the gas, sending the cop onto the hood of the moving vehicle. The cop then fired several shots through the windshield, striking Clarke in the torso.

Sherylann Clarke, who was in the car, claims the cop started the confrontation with her brother. “He was trying to move and the officer went in front of his car again and he’s moving with his car as he’s moving trying to get out of his way so obviously they came into contact because he’s hovering over my brother’s car, touching his car. Then he pulls out his gun to shoot him,” she told NBC6. The entire incident was caught on bodycam, so a jury will eventually decide who started the little tiff.

Massive wildfires in Canada’s Manitoba province and other regions are threatening to send another smoke storm into the US, almost two years exactly after early June 2023’s smokefest, CNN reports.

🚨BREAKING: Massive ICE raid taking place in Tallahassee.

I voted for this.
pic.twitter.com/C3QWNvLnZI

— Benny Johnson (@bennyjohnson) May 29, 2025

A job site for new student housing at Florida State University was raided Thursday by ICE and state troopers, per WTXL. Some chuds on Twitter are saying as many as 50 of the workers were rounded up and that just might not an exaggeration given that ICE and/or the cops brought a prison bus.

WTXL made it too damn easy to write that headline too, as their article carried a statement: “Hedrick Brothers Construction fully complies with all regulatory standards, including all E-Verify employment verification requirements. Furthermore, we require all independent subcontractors to follow the same legal standards, as outlined in our contractual agreements with their companies. We have been made aware that the authorities have taken control of the site. Hedrick Brothers Construction will fully cooperate with all elements of the investigation.” Hedrick Brothers’ website lists a Dale Hedrick as “Founder, CEO and President” and OpenSecrets.org lists no fewer than 472 donations, one of which was $3,300 to “Donald Trump (R)” on April 30, 2024. That was eight days after sent the same amount to “Come and Take It PAC (R).” They just came and took your employees, lol.

Also funny: Listed on the Hedrick site is Dale’s son (or nephew) Burk as “President, Development,” also on OpenSecrets.org as a 2020 Trump donor. The idiot listed his occupation as “HOMEMAKER,” a colloquialism that means stay-at-home wife, not goddamned housing construction. Fucking moron.

Leadership at ICE will be shaken up for the God-knows-how-many-th time in under five months as convicted felon President Trump rage and his minions rage at the agency over the slowing pace of immigration arrests, CBS News reports, citing sources inside. Kenneth Genalo, who leads the ICE branch tasked with carrying out arrests and deportations, Enforcement and Removal Operations, will retire early while ICE Homeland Security Investigations chief Robert Hammer will be reassigned to some presumably shittier job. It’s not clear if firing the first guy and demoting the other will result in increased arrests or if it just makes it sort of feel like something different is happening.

A federal appeals court on Thursday enjoined the United States Court of International Trade’s Wednesday night ruling tossing most of convicted felon President Trump’s tariffs, setting a June 9th deadline for both parties to respond. Sucks for you, Heard and McDonald Islands.

“At 800 AM MST (1500 UTC), the center of Tropical Storm Alvin was located near latitude 13.8 N, longitude 106.3 W. Alvin is moving toward the northwest near 10 mph (17 km/h). This general motion is expected to continue through today, followed by a northward turn tomorrow and Saturday.”

“Maximum sustained winds have increased to near 40 mph (65 km/h) with higher gusts. Some additional strengthening is expected through tonight, but weakening is expected to begin by late tomorrow. Tropical-storm-force winds extend outward up to 45 miles (75 km)from the center. The estimated minimum central pressure is 1005 mb (29.68 inches),” says a National Hurricane Center bulletin on the first named storm of the 2025 season coming two days before the 2025 season.

“Hormel Foods Corporation, a Tucker, Ga establishment, is recalling approximately 256,185 pounds of canned beef stew product that may be contaminated with foreign material, specifically wood, the US Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) announced today. The canned beef stew item was produced on February 4, 2025. The following product is subject to recall: 20-oz metal cans containing ‘Dinty Moore BEEF STEW’ with ‘BEST BY FEB 2028’ and lot code ‘T02045’ printed on the can. The lot code may have an additional number at the end. The product subject to recall bears establishment number ‘EST 199G’ printed on the can. These items were shipped to retail locations nationwide,” says a recall alert from the somehow still-functional USDA.

“The problem was discovered after the establishment notified FSIS that they had received three consumer complaints reporting pieces of wood in the beef stew product. There have been no confirmed reports of injury due to consumption of this product. Anyone concerned about an injury should contact a healthcare provider. FSIS is concerned that some product may be in consumers’ pantries. Consumers who have purchased this product are urged not to consume it. This product should be thrown away or returned to the place of purchase,” the bulletin continued. You should probably see a doctor anyway if you’ve been consuming “Dinty Moore BEEF STEW” from a can.

Karoline krazy! No fuck with Karoline, fake news media! Karoline will DESTROY you!