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Orange Caesar shifty on SALT campaign promises because he didn’t win Illinois or California for lack of “honest elections”

Lurching into the Capitol to cajole House republicans to shut the fuck up and vote yes on his “Big Beautiful Bill,” convicted felon President Trump on Tuesday sounded kind of different on the matter of SALT deductions than he did on the campaign trail last year. On September 17th, 2024 the fat bastard posted “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE? VOTE FOR TRUMP! I will turn it around, get SALT back, lower your Taxes, and so much more” in the middle of hyping his stupid rally at Long Island’s Nassau Coliseum that week. Now, after losing his original home state, he’s wary of anything that benefits residents of “very blue states that I don’t really believe… if we had honest elections, I think I would’ve won California, I would’ve won New York. I even think I would’ve won Illinois.”

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Top Japanese trade official demands unconditional US surrender

Japan’s top trade negotiator on Tuesday told reporters that there will be no changes to Tokyo’s stance of total repeal of convicted felon President Trump’s stupid tariffs on their exports, Reuters reports on a tough pickle for the credited but not actual author of “The Art of the Deal.”

“The slew of US tariffs including reciprocal tariffs as well as those on automobiles, car parts, steel and aluminium, are regrettable. There’s no change to our stance of seeking a review, which is to say an elimination, of them,” said Ryosei Akazawa at a press conference. Japan’s Kyodo news agency reported on Tuesday that Akazawa will travel to Washington this week to attend the third round of talks potentially starting on Friday and is willing to offer to buy US corn exports.

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Senate Dems warn Paramount coming close to bribery laws breach

Senate Dems Liz Warren, Ron Wyden, and Bernie Sanders on Tuesday shared with the Wall Street Journal a letter they sent to Paramount Global Chair Shari Redstone warning her that she and her company are edging close to violating bribery laws by entertaining settling convicted felon President Trump’s batshit stupid lawsuit against the media giant for applying standard edits to former Vice President Kamala Harris’s 60 Minutes interview – the one Trump pussied out of – with the Dems writing it’s likely illegal to do so “in exchange for approval of its merger with Skydance Media.”

“Redstone hasn’t seen the letter, which was sent Tuesday night, a spokeswoman said” the Journal writes in a temporal fuckup since it’s still Tuesday morning. The spokeswoman then claimed Redstone “has recused herself from the settlement talks,” and lol at that bullshit.

CNN’s Brian Stelter reports that Redstone is full MAGA, hardcore pro-Netanyahu, and constantly harasses journalists over what she says is “unfair” coverage of the ongoing genocide in Gaza as part of a longer segment about the abrupt Monday departure of CBS News President Wendy McMahon.

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Catturd praises Scott Adams for “admitting” COVID vax killed him

Was wondering when the fanboys would start dredging up the pic of Joe Biden pulling up his sleeve and getting the COVID shot as a means of explaining his cancer. Guess they get to sidestep that now that Scott Adams took the lead and is making his nigh-deathbed “redemption,” lol.

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Maine Dem Congressman Jared Golden to run for seat again

“Congressman Jared Golden of Lewiston today announced his campaign for re-election to Maine’s 2nd Congressional District. ‘While I have considered many options for how best to continue serving the people of Maine, I have decided to run for re-election because the surest way to restore balance in Washington is for Democrats to win back the House of Representatives,’ Golden said. ‘While the election is still 18 months away and I remain focused on my responsibilities to my constituents and my family, I also know the path to the majority runs through Maine. And I am going to do what it takes to make sure no one like Paul LePage blusters his way into Congress.'”

“‘The stakes are clear: While the GOP in Congress is working overtime to take away Mainers health care and further rig the tax code for the rich, Jared is standing up for our health care, workers’ rights, reproductive freedom and Maine’s heritage industries,’ Golden’s campaign manager. ‘He’s a proven winner and the right choice to beat a candidate like Paul LePage and restore checks and balances in Congress,'” says a statement from Golden’s campaign via WABI.

House Dem leadership had been worried Golden would launch a bid against Concern Lady Susan Collins. It’s not clear how well he would’ve done, maybe it’d be a rough primary but if he survived he might’ve been a solid favorite in a general against Collins. Less uncertain is how the 2nd District would’ve gone with fat racist slob former Governor Paul LePage against a new Dem nominee – who in 2018, as he left office basically told Maine voters to go fuck themselves and moved to Florida – as LePage probably would’ve won pretty easily, despite the stink of reverse carpet-bagging.

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South Africa to cave to Musk and bend laws for Starlink access

The South African government is working on a cave to its least-favorite son by bending its laws mandating local Black ownership for tech infrastructure and opening its market to Starlink in what Bloomberg reports is President Cyril Ramaphosa’s administration “aiming to ease tensions with both the billionaire and US President Donald Trump” ahead of the leader’s Wednesday visit to the Orange Allah’s White House. Note these “tensions” stem solely from white nationalist masturbatory agitprop.

The exit ramp for Ramaphosa from the country’s Black Economic Empowerment laws requiring a minimum of 30 percent Black ownership for concerns operating in the country isn’t unprecedented, as in 2019 Toyota, Ford, and BMW were allowed carveouts in exchange for investments in empowerment programs. Bloomberg writes the “so-called Equity Equivalent option would instead involve investments in infrastructure or training, or providing Starlink kits to rural areas in order to help improve Internet access,” which amounts to an actual “DEI” program. Not like when Republicans and their fanboys use “DEI” when they want to say the n-word, but the true definition of the term.

So yeah, let’s see how this goes. That the article upfront says this is about supplicating to Trump and Ketamine Brain before it says anything about what Ramaphosa’s government gets to save face and about how few homes in rural South Africa have reliable internet access probably says a lot about what to expect from this “deal.” It is however a pretty safe bet that Musk will be hiring few if any of those would-be “refugee” white trash slob Afrikaners to work for him on the ground in his home country and will probably instead send Indian engineers to do the legwork there.

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Signal shitshow no biggie because Houthi bombing a “success”

Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth on Monday pointed to the “success” of the bombing campaign against Houthi positions in Yemen as a reason why it’s not a big deal that now-former National Security Advisor Mike Waltz fucked up and added the editor-in-chief of the Atlantic to the Trump Regime’s Signal chat before the strikes began. This of course is a subjective assessment dependent on one’s definition of “success.” Some might look at $1 billion in weaponry burned, two $67 million F/A-18 Super Hornets now at the bottom of the Red Sea because they fell off their aircraft carrier, several more nearly getting shot down by anti-aircraft fire, seven Reaper drones worth $30 million each actually getting shot down, and convicted felon President Trump looking for an “offramp” to declare victory before one or more US service members got killed and disagree with Hegseth’s take.

Oh and missiles are still being fired from Houthi country at Israel after said victory declaration. Can’t forget that, since it was pretty much the whole reason for bombing them in the first place. 👊🇺🇸🔥

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“This book makes it certain voters will be having these conversations in 2028, and perhaps beyond”: Politico Playbook

Happy Biden Book Day to all who celebrate and few in the mainstream media seem to be celebrating harder than Politico Playbook, whose circlejerk seems to be so fast and fervid they’re in danger of creating a gravitational singularity with scorching hot takes like “The buzz: It’s hard to think of a book which has shifted the political dial to this extent in recent years – perhaps nothing since Michael Wolff’s ‘Fire and Fury,’ the gossipy portrait of Donald Trump’s first year in power that had DC bookshops staying open past midnight, Harry Potter-style, when it came out in 2018,” and “This book makes it certain voters will be having these conversations in 2028, and perhaps beyond.”

“Those who were around Biden have nowhere to hide. Only a few weeks ago, your author recalls prominent Dems pushing back hard in private conversations about the phrase ‘cover-up’ on the book’s cover. Now? Pure evasion,” the lead section on the “EXPLOSIVE” new book continues and holy shit these people are diseased and beyond hell-bent on killing whatever space exists among Dems for introspection and lesson-learning about being more honest with themselves and voters that this book may present, just eagerly feeding its news cycle into the same old horserace fap-off.

You can almost feel that thirst yourself as Playbook hypes couchfucker JD Vance’s transparently cunty and pernicious “we need to start a conversation” comments from Monday, writing “Listening to Vance, you could already imagine another debate stage – perhaps even another CNN debate stage – in 2028, with the VP accusing his Democratic opponent of colluding in a colossal lie, covering up the infirmity of the most-powerful person on the planet and then endorsing Biden to run again. It will be a powerful message – and that Democratic opponent is going to need far better answers than anything we’ve heard so far. Will anyone have the courage to take this head-on?”

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MAGAfied Kennedy Center’s shows include drag performances

In yet another example of how the Trump Regime was full of shit about pretty much everything, the Daily Beast points out that the newly MAGAfied Kennedy Center’s 2025-2026 performance schedule features shows Chicago, Moulin Rouge!, Monty Python’s Spamalot, and Mrs Doubtfire all of which include the supposedly civilizational threat of drag performances, the last on the list’s entire plot centers on a man dressing up as a woman to spend time with his kids after a divorce.

The revelation of the schedule comes just over two and half months after convicted felon President Trump posted “At my direction, we are going to make the Kennedy Center in Washington DC, GREAT AGAIN. I have decided to immediately terminate multiple individuals from the Board of Trustees, including the Chairman, who do not share our Vision for a Golden Age in Arts and Culture. We will soon announce a new Board, with an amazing Chairman, DONALD J TRUMP! Just last year, the Kennedy Center featured Drag Shows specifically targeting our youth – THIS WILL STOP.”

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George Santos says no word “so far” from White House on pardon

Was tempted to put “EXCLUSIVE” in the headline, but thought for a minute and realized how weak and lame it often is, especially when Mediaite, Raw Story, and Fox News use it to plant their flag on a story. Coming from them it kind of correctly implies that everything else they print is just shit recycled from other outlets. Truly original reporting should reveal itself in the text: “Sources tell Mediaite,” “Emails obtained by Raw Story,” “In an interview with Fox News,” and so on. It just stinks of insecurity and neediness… Except when NBC does it. Oddly enough their “EXCLUSIVE” label actually tends to be a marque of exceptional quality for that particular piece of reporting. Maybe the difference in the worth of said “exclusives” is in the overall value of the outlet itself…

Anyway, George Santos on Monday told National Zero there’s still no word of a pardon from the Trump White House. It came hours after CBS’s Scott MacFarlane reported that Georgie’s been assigned a federal Bureau of Prisons inmate number 58474-510 ahead of his turn-in deadline of July 25th, more than two months away and plenty of time for Georgie to lobby unsuccessfully until Trump commutes his sentence about two hours after the notoriously dishonest former congressman gets de-loused and fitted for a bright orange jumpsuit at a dreary federal penal institution.

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Tim Apple too scared of Don Orange to blame tariffs for price hikes

Writing that “the company is determined to avoid any scenario in which it appears to attribute price increases to US tariffs on goods from China, where most Apple devices are assembled,” the Wall Street Journal reports that the big piece of fruit is wary of incurring the wrath of convicted felon President Trump as he threatens other companies for simply daring to inform customers that it isn’t their fault that costs on the shit they want to buy – namely this fall’s iPhone lineup – is going up.

Instead they’re going to try to sell it as being due to new features being added and yeah this is how fucked up and warped everything is right now. In 2022 and 2023 it was “Sorry, inflation, lolz” when, for example, the fucking cost of Target store brand ice cream went up like 80 percent while the actual CPI from early 2021 to early 2024 rose less than 20 percent. Now that the fat bastard coasted back into office falsely promising to undo such increases Apple is trying to do the opposite, blaming itself instead of extrinsic and entirely controllable on the part of the president factors for price hikes.

Seriously. The Journal actually wrote this: “Company executives are wary of blaming increases on tariffs. When a news report in April said Amazon might show the impact of tariffs to its shoppers, the White House called it a hostile act and Amazon quickly said the idea ‘was never approved and is not going to happen.’ These circumstances have led Apple to look at what supply-chain insiders described as the least-bad choice: raising prices on the new iPhones to preserve profit and finding reasons other than tariffs to explain the move. It couldn’t be determined what new features Apple may offer to help justify price increases.” But let’s hear more about Joe Biden’s brain and prostate.

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Michigander re-convicted of setting unfaithful husband on fire and then running him over with van after he ran out of house in flames

A Michigan woman who in 2007 responded to her husband’s admission of an affair by lighting him on fire – and then, after he had burst from their house writhing in flames, got behind the wheel of their van, promptly plowed into him while he was still on his feet, and then ran him over – was re-sentenced to life in prison Monday following a re-do of her 2010 trial that had also ended in a murder conviction and life sentence, WZZM13 reports on what had to feel kind of satisfying at the time.

If we’re being totally honest here. Plus, Linda Stermer’s a grandmotherly-looking 60 year-old white lady sitting in the joint with some no doubt hardened freaking criminals. None of them had a judge sit there and say “You lit your husband on fire and burned him alive. When he made it out of the house and you had a chance to reconsider your actions, you instead doubled down and ran him over with your car,” when they got sentenced for their crimes, certainly at least some of them for killing their husbands and boyfriends through more conventional means like knives and guns.

Yeah the article tries to make you feel bad by presenting the victim impact statements like from Todd Stermer’s sister saying how he was a nice guy and all that, but it does not appear that the affair part’s in dispute. He simply fucked around and found out in the most comically over-the-top Itchy-and-Scratchy cartoon level way. Linda could’ve taken the clothes he was not wearing at the time and set those on fire instead, but now she’s in it for life and rightfully so. Probably with a lot of respect and deference from other inmates for sticking the landing on a badass way to end up there.

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Tariffs are so back, baby

Said a nearly-dead-looking convicted felon President Trump to his supplicants at a Kennedy Center circlejerk on Monday evening: “We are taking in 25 percent on cars, steel, aluminum. 25 percent on other things. And that will be going up to 50, 75, maybe 100 in some cases. We have to get our pharmaceutical industry back.” Let’s see how stock futures are doing in a few hours.

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Habba drops case against Newark mayor

“I take my obligations as US Attorney seriously. I understand the responsibility that comes with my position, and I will work diligently to uphold the law and deliver justice to the people of New Jersey.”

“After extensive consideration, we have agreed to dismiss Mayor Baraka’s misdemeanor charge of trespass for the sake of moving forward. In the spirit of public interest, I have invited the mayor to tour Delaney Hall. The government has nothing to hide at this facility, and I will personally accompany the mayor so he can see that firsthand. The citizens of New Jersey deserve unified leadership so we can get to work to keep our state safe. The dismissal against the mayor is not the end of this matter. Congressional oversight is an important constitutional function and one that I fully support. However, that is not at issue in this case. Representative LaMonica McIver assaulted, impeded, and interfered with law enforcement in violation of Title 18, USC, Section 111(a)(1).”

“That conduct cannot be overlooked by the chief federal law enforcement official in the State of New Jersey, and it is my Constitutional obligation to ensure that our federal law enforcement is protected when executing their duties. I have persistently made efforts to address these issues without bringing criminal charges and have given Representative McIver every opportunity to come to a resolution, but she has unfortunately declined. No one is above the law politicians or otherwise.”

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Boeing suggested Team Orange ask Qataris about plane: report

Contradicting convicted felon President Trump’s claims that Qatar Force One was offered by the tiny Middle Eastern monarchy as a gift to the United States, CNN reports that it was his regime that first approached the Qataris to at first ask them about buying or leasing the jet. For years the fat bastard was obsessed with replacing or upgrading Air Force One and resumed doing so upon returning to office in January, pretty much immediately ordering the Pentagon to hassle Boeing over the delays holding up a new version that was supposed to be delivered who the hell knows how long ago.

Boeing reps mentioned other clients that newer planes could possibly be leased from. “And Qatar was one of the clients,” a source told CNN, adding the Pentagon approached and “offered to buy the plane” and the Qataris indicated they were willing to sell it. How that became a “gift” to Trump and not the United States is still not totally clear, but yeah, it’s some sort of bribe.

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SALT and tears

The only easy day was yesterday in the House GOP’s quest to deliver a massive tax cut for the wealthy and a massive Medicaid cut for the poor as, per Politico, on one end the Freedom Caucasians are complaining that the Big Beautiful Bill “fails to actually honor our promise to significantly correct the spending trajectory of the federal government” and they’re extra pissed that they most likely won’t know the CBO score for the bill before they actually vote on it.

On the other end, there’s Mike Lawler bitching to CNN’s Manu Raju about Speaker Mike Johnson not shaking out more SALT deduction space for Blue Staters in a meeting Monday. “This should have been dealt with months ago, as we had asked multiple times… over and over and over, and” the House GOP leadership “chose to wait till the last minute.” Asked by Raju why that was, Lawler only said “You’ll have to ask them. That was a pretty stupid exercise.” Maybe Lawler should resign.

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How’s that hunt for the anti-Tesla terrorist masterminds going?

It’s been two months to the day since Attorney General Pam Bondi signed off on a statement that said “The swarm of violent attacks on Tesla property is nothing short of domestic terrorism. The Department of Justice has already charged several perpetrators with that in mind, including in cases that involve charges with five-year mandatory minimum sentences. We will continue investigations that impose severe consequences on those involved in these attacks, including those operating behind the scenes to coordinate and fund these crimes,” the morning after Fox News aired an interview with convicted felon President Trump in which he said people like the homeless guy mentioned above will be found to have been “paid by very highly political people on the left.”

Oh and then 12 days later Ketamine Brain himself also told Fox News he needed to find the “generals” who were “organizing and paying” for “the foot soldiers” like that homeless guy. “We’re coming for them,” Elon said, adding that he knows who they are, but not specifying it.

So yeah… How’s that coming along? It’s been some time. The network couldn’t have been all that sophisticated if they were hiring homeless people and crackerjack libtard activists to perpetrate the attacks, people who would squeal pretty quickly and easily when charged with major federal felonies, which they were. Can any Trump/Elon fans provide us with an update?

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Anonymous Trump minion calls Medicaid cuts suicidal

An anonymous Trump minion tells Rolling Stone that “Going after fraud in Medicaid is politically popular and worth doing, but going after benefits is an attack on our own voters,” adding that while it’s “defensible policy-wise, it’s the height of stupidity from a political perspective.”

And that’s all they had from an insider, described in the story as “a longtime Trumpworld adviser,” to an article otherwise padded out to be hundreds of words long about the politics of these bullshit work requirements that are just going to add hurdles to legitimate recipients. Probably why it won’t kick in until after the midterms, according to the latest revisions in the bill.

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“Churches hope to tap the power of pickleball”: AP headline

Global powerhouse of journalism the Associated Press, a non-profit collective founded in 1853 that covered some of the most significant events in human history since then – with reporters on scene shortly after both the Lincoln and Kennedy assassinations, the Pearl Harbor attack as it happened, the Allied landings at the beaches of Normandy, the Montgomery bus boycott, the falls of Saigon and the Berlin Wall, and so much more – on Monday ran a story headlined “Churches hope to tap the power of pickleball,” about congregations using the, ahem, sport to draw in new members.

“The gym at the Adventure Commons was filled with sounds of pickleball – squeaking sneakers, the thwack of a paddle hitting a ball and cheers from players after a good shot,” was the lede setting the scene by an organization for which no fewer than 37 journalists have been killed while on the job, including Joseph Morton, an American who was executed by the Nazis in January 1945.

“A dozen players filled three courts at the athletic center, run by the Adventure Christian Church, located just off exit 315 from Interstate 57 in south suburban Chicago,” and come on man, pickleball? A STORY ABOUT FUCKING PICKLEBALL? THE “CHRISTIANITY BECOMING MORE MODERN” ANGLE GIVES YOU A FEW MORE KICKS AT THAT DEAD HORSE, RIGHT? FUCK!

Okay, okay, okay. Moving on… You know if it wasn’t named pickl- Alright, alright. Forget it…

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New Jersey mall becomes late 1980s brawler video game level

An Edison, New Jersey mall on Saturday night became a scene reminiscent of late 1980s-early 1990s arcade classics Renegade, Streets of Rage, Final Fight, Double Dragon, and others as People Magazine reports Mayor Sam Joshi said “over 300 youth” were involved in a massive fight.

Joshi wrote on Instagram he “was notified that over 300 youth were gathered at Menlo Park mall and a brawl ensued. No weapons were confirmed at the incident and no injuries to juveniles at this time. Neighboring municipalities were notified and provided immediate mutual aid to the Edison Police Department to disperse the crowd,” later adding none of those arrested were from Edison.

It’s not clear which teenager was the hero and if he was able to pick up the turkey leg and restore all his health bars before defeating the boss, the neon blue-haired punk named “Axel,” who spins his spiked chains around. It’s a devastating spin attack players must dodge if they’re to advance to the “factory” level to battle the hoodlums that throw barrels of glowing green radioactive slime.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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