Cody Balmer, the 38 year-old auto mechanic who wanted to beat Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro and his family to death with a hammer while setting a section of the gubernatorial mansion on fire was due in court this week for what CNN reports was a 2023 domestic assault against his wife and two sons, just in case anyone was expecting this guy to have been an upstanding citizen and a pillar of his community who simply had a momentary lapse of judgment.

El Salvadoran scumbag Nayib Bukele already told reporters present that there’s no way he can get Kilmar Abrego Garcia out of his dungeon, obviously that’s complete horseshit.

Sorry not sorry about the C-word in the headline. Sometimes Republicans are just cunts.

It’s tight, it’s early, and there’s a lot of undecided voters, but Dem former North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper – who isn’t running yet – edges out incumbent Republican Senator Thom Tillis 46 to 44 percent in a head-to-head in a survey of Tar Heel state likely voters in a 2026 matchup tested by lefty organization Carolina Forward. Cooper holds a strong lead among indies at 57 to 27 percent with another 16 percent undecided while Republican voters are also 10 percent undecided – likely because Tillis is a “RINO” to them who occasionally engages in hollow acts of performative defiance against the MAGA Reich, the rest are Tillis 85 percent to Cooper 5 percent. Dem respondents meanwhile are just 1 percent undecided at 94 percent for Cooper and 5 percent for Tillis.

You can do far worse for a candidate than Cooper as he won two statewide elections handily and remains popular – both when convicted felon President Trump was on the same ballot and carried North Carolina. That said it’s fucking North Carolina and the douchebag ticket splitters in the state also reelected Tillis in 2020 along with Cooper – though maybe that Cal Cunningham dickhead would’ve won if he hadn’t been caught cheating on his wife weeks before Election Day. But speculating is pointless because Cooper simply has to run, he’s probably the only Dem who can flip the seat, either he runs and wins or doesn’t and that cocksucker Tillis gets another six years.

“THE BEST DEFINITION OF INTELLIGENCE IS THE ABILITY TO PREDICT THE FUTURE!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday for reasons inscrutable other than that he’s just fucking insane and isn’t getting any less so. The fat bastard then posted “Congratulations to Daniel Noboa, who will be a great leader for the wonderful people of Ecuador. He will not let you down!” with a link to a BBC article with a headline specifying that Noboa was reelected and thus already president.

Demented Donald then later posted that Joe Biden and Volodymyr Zelensky “allowed” Russia to invade Ukraine, writing “The War between Russia and Ukraine is Biden’s war, not mine. I just got here, and for four years during my term, had no problem in preventing it from happening. President Putin, and everyone else, respected your President! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS WAR, BUT AM WORKING DILIGENTLY TO GET THE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION TO STOP. If the 2020 Presidential Election was not RIGGED, and it was, in so many ways, that horrible War would never have happened. President Zelenskyy and Crooked Joe Biden did an absolutely horrible job in allowing this travesty to begin. There were so many ways of preventing it from ever starting. But that is the past. Now we have to get it to STOP, AND FAST. SO SAD!” as if the fat fuck didn’t say he’d have it ended in the first 24 hours of the beginning of his second maladministration.

“He just has the stardom … that’s not enough”: @willcain reacts to Stephen A. Smith floating a 2028 presidential run. pic.twitter.com/Vq1rViMWWv

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) April 14, 2025

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck… Fuck. These fucking assholes. Shut the fuck up. Fox News will do more than anyone else to will Smith 2028 into existence with this kind of segments.

In a Sunday article with a sub-hed reading “Justice Department backs away from some cases involving foreign bribery, money laundering and crypto markets, defense lawyers brace for slowdown,” the Wall Street Journal reports that convicted felon President Trump’s sanctuary country for wealthy caucasians is hurting the law firms that specialize in negotiating non-conviction plea deals, buying off juries, and getting their clients sentenced to Club Fed.

Stephen A Smith, Host of ESPN’s ‘First Take,’ hammered the Democratic Party and suggested he has “no choice” but to ughnnnn…. Oh my God…. uhnnnnn, on Sunday, ABC News reports.

“I have no choice, because I’ve had elected officials, and I’m not going to give their names, elected officials coming up to me. I’ve had folks who are pundits come up to me [fapfapfapfapfapfap]. I’ve had folks that got a lot of money, billionaires and others that have talked to me about exploratory committees and things of that nature [fapfapfapfap]. I’m not a politician. I’ve never had a desire to be a politician [fapfapfapfapfapfap]” Smith told ABC News’ “This Week” co-anchor Jonathan Karl as both masturbated symbolically on Sunday in front of an audience of millions of viewers.

Smith reiterated that because of the number of people asking him to consider a run, he has to leave the door open to further just barely metaphorically masturbate in public because fuck him.

Now this isn’t a 1-to-1 because the last time this was asked in March it was on an Economist survey and it’s worded slightly differently. It is however the same pollster, YouGov, asking respondents to this CBS News national survey “Which is more responsible for the state of the US economy today?” to which 21 percent of respondents overall answered “Joe Biden’s policies” to 54 percent convicted felon President Trump’s policies. Another 20 percent said “Both equally,” a switch from a closer Biden 32 – Trump 48 on the March 19th Economist survey (8 percent said “neither” on that one).

It’s the shift among Republicans pre-and-post-“Liberation Day” that’s more interesting: In March, 57 percent of the Economist’s survey’s respondents identifying as GOP voters said it was Biden’s economy to 26 percent of Trump’s and 7 percent “neither.” Now in this month’s CBS survey it’s 39 percent Biden, 40 percent Trump, and 17 percent saying “Both equally” because they’re too chickenshit to admit the truth to themselves that their Orange God Emperor did this to them.

Other hilarious findings: 46 percent of Republicans rate the stock market as being in “very” (9 percent) or “fairly good” (37 percent) condition versus 14 percent of Dems “very” (2 percent) or “fairly” (12 percent). On prices going up or down: 54 percent of respondents overall say “prices on the goods and services you buy” have been going up “in the last few weeks,” 12 percent say going down, 34 percent say staying the same, while among Dems it was 78 percent up, 5 percent down, 17 percent same to Republican respondents’ 31 percent admitting they’re up, 18 percent down, 50 percent staying the same, and Christ what a fucking stupid thing to lie about due to partisanship.

“Arab Voters are very upset that Comrade Kamala Harris, the Worst Vice President in the History of the United States and a Low IQ individual, is campaigning with ‘dumb as a rock’ War Hawk, Liz Cheney, who, like her father, the man that pushed Bush to ridiculously go to War in the Middle East, also wants to go to War with every Muslim Country known to mankind. Remember, Liz Cheney lost her Seat by the LARGEST margin, 40 percent, in History for a sitting Congressperson. If Kamala gets four more years, the Middle East will spend the next four decades going up in flames, and your kids will be going off to War, maybe even a Third World War, something that will never happen with President Donald J Trump in charge. For our Country’s sake, and for your kids, Vote Trump for PEACE!” posted convicted felon President Trump on October 21, 2024, 174 days before his now-Secretary of Defense threatened war in the Middle East, specifically against Iran.

In another chickenshit move to avoid libs heckling them, computers and phones will be exempted from big fat vagina convicted felon President Trump’s tariffs on Chinese exports, CNN reports.

Guess all that shit from Howard Nutlick about Americans screwing iPhones together was just that.

Convicted felon President Trump’s regime is “reviewing” the guilty plea and six year prison sentence of Russian former FBI informant Alexander Smirnov, a double agent for Russia who fed Team Orange a bunch of bullshit about Hunter Biden in 2019 and 2020, ABC News reports.

Convicted felon President Trump’s reich has moved to declare 6,000 immigrants living in the United States under temporary protected status as “dead” within the Social Security Administration’s database in order to make their lives more difficult, and get them to “self-deport, “the AP reports.

If you ever needed a perfect snapshot of the Trump team’s utter laziness and cowardice, well here it is: They’re not going to bother rounding these people up or getting legislation passed to nullify their ability to work and have bank accounts, etc, they’re just going to fuck things up for them.

“Consumer sentiment fell for the fourth straight month, plunging 11 percent from March. This decline was, like the last month’s, pervasive and unanimous across age, income, education, geographic region, and political affiliation. Sentiment has now lost more than 30 percent since December 2024 amid growing worries about trade war developments that have oscillated over the course of the year. Consumers report multiple warning signs that raise the risk of recession: expectations for business conditions, personal finances, incomes, inflation, and labor markets all continued to deteriorate this month. The share of consumers expecting unemployment to rise in the year ahead increased for the fifth consecutive month and is now more than double the November 2024 reading and the highest since 2009. This lack of labor market confidence lies in sharp contrast to the past several years, when robust spending was supported primarily by strong labor markets and incomes. Note that interviews for this release were conducted between March 25 and April 8, closing prior to the April 9 tariff partial reversal,” says the University of Michigan Survey of Consumers statement.

“Year-ahead inflation expectations surged from 5.0 percent last month to 6.7 percent this month, the highest reading since 1981 and marking four consecutive months of unusually large increases of 0.5 percentage points or more. This month’s rise was seen across all three political affiliations. Long-run inflation expectations climbed from 4.1 percent in March to 4.4 percent in April, reflecting a particularly large jump among independents,” the very leftist, rigged, etc statement continued.

CNN reports this is the second-lowest reading in the Wolverines’ surveys since 1952.

The Chinese communists on Friday announced tariffs on US imports would increase from 84 percent to 125 percent, their third increase since convicted felon President Trump began his stupid trade war and for which the US rate on imports is now 145 percent, the New York Times reports.

Constellation Brands, the US importer of Modelo, Corona, and Pacifico beers, says sales dipped 1 percent last quarter, something the company blames on convicted felon President Trump’s crackdown on illegal immigrants, who aren’t shopping as much, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Constellation CEO Bill Newlands told the Journal some Latino shoppers are shifting their shopping to large retail chains in an attempt to blend into a crowd, and are no longer frequenting smaller convenience stores or bodegas that primarily serve Hispanic consumers.

“It’s so hard to watch as Highly Qualified and Respected Ambassadors, who we desperately need representing our Country in Faraway Lands, are purposefully meant to wait as the Democrat Senators take maximum time for every single one of them, even though they were confirmed with Bipartisan Support, also at maximum time, and only done to hurt our Country. A process that should take a matter of minutes is forced into taking months, making it very hard on the new Ambassadors’ families, and not good, at all, for the Good Ole’ USA. In a true sense, in numerous cases, what they do is actually a Threat to National Security. John Thune and the Republicans are doing a great job, but nothing much can be done when the Democrats make everyone sit, day after day, pushing the limits. The level of hostility is not to be believed!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Thursday. He voiced no such similar complaint when that piece of shit Tommy Tuberville was doing the same thing to military officers over a non-existent abortion measure.

A transgender Army National Guard pilot has filed a lawsuit against some MAGA D-lister over false claims she was at the stick of the Blackhawk helicopter that collided with American Eagle Flight 5342, killing 67 people over the Potomac River on Jaunary 29th, USA Today reports.

The complaint filed by Jo Ellis, who transitioned last year, alleges that Matt Wallace “knew the public wanted to blame someone for this unspeakable tragedy and he knew a transgender Black Hawk pilot was the perfect villain for his story,” the complaint states. “Once Defendant planted his inane theory that the collision was intentionally caused by the helicopter and that the helicopter was piloted by Plaintiff, a transgender Black Hawk pilot, the theory went viral.” Ellis seeks unspecified damages against Wallace for the false claims and misgendering her on his podcast.