A Brooklyn federal judge on Friday ordered Trump pardon recipient Jonathan Braun held without bail for his fifth arrest since the fat fuck let him out of prison in 2021 just two years into a decade-long bid on marijuana trafficking charges, this time with Braun having assaulted a man and shoved his three year-old son during an altercation on Long Island last week, the New York Times reports.

Presiding over the arraignment, Eastern District of New York Circuit Judge Kiyo Matsumoto was less than pleased to see Braun in her courtroom again six years after she had sent him away on the weed charges only for him to be freed by having worked some unspecified familial connection to Jared Kushner to lobby successfully for the pardon in 2021. “The behavior is erratic,” the judge said, adding “There’s the potential someone could really get hurt.” The Times writes that Braun, “wearing a beige hooded sweatshirt, appeared agitated throughout the proceeding. He complained about his legal representation and gave the middle finger to people sitting in the courtroom.”

“I could’ve gone to law school myself. I chose not to,” Braun told Judge Matsumoto, sounding exactly how you’d think a 41 year-old who posed for a pic with Trump would when facing consequences.

Since he was sprung in 2021, Braun, a payday loan hustler, has been charged with punching his wife and father-in-law in the head, grabbing a nanny’s boob while fondling himself, trying to assault a female nurse with an IV bag holder, and threatening to beat the shit out of a fellow synagogue congregant who asked him to be quiet during Jewish church. He’s also received a lifetime ban from operating a business in the State of New York, so he’s a victim of Letitia James too.

FoxNews.com at 12:43 PM EDT on April 4, 2025, the same moment the Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 1,541.27 points, or 3.80 percent, the S&P down 210.62 points, or 3.90 percent, and the Nasdaq down 644.64 points, or 3.89 percent the subliminal message apparently being “THE DECLINE TO YOUR 401K IS THE COST OF DEFEATING MS-13 AND FREEDOM AND SHIT.”

For those in the audience who like to tell everyone else you don’t give a shit about video games and don’t understand what’s going on here: If the headline’s still somehow inscrutable to you then instead try to imagine that there hasn’t been a new iPad or MacBook or even a Chevy Silverado model in eight years and yours is falling apart. You REALLY, REALLY want a new one and have zero desire to purchase the 2017 model when for $200 or $300 more (or $2000 if it’s the Silverado) and waiting until June 5th you can have the most current upgrade. That’s what Apple or Chevrolet told you earlier this week in their big splashy launch livestream, specifying that on April 9th you can put down a credit card to pre-order the new model and get it on day one. You’re freaking pumped.

Then this morning Tim Apple or Jean-Luc Marquis de Chevrolet are like “Ummmm, on second thought yeah the Trump tariff thing’s going to kind of fuck us up so we need to push that pre-order availability date back. We don’t know when, hopefully it’ll be soon. Oh, errr about the price too…”

In the real world, per IGN, Nintendo on Friday released a statement: “Pre-orders for Nintendo Switch 2 in the US will not start April 9, 2025 in order to assess the potential impact of tariffs and evolving market conditions. Nintendo will update timing at a later date. The launch date of June 5, 2025 is unchanged,” with IGN warning it “raises the prospect that it could hike the price of the Switch 2 and its games further amid what is already an angry backlash to its next-gen pricing strategy.”

Just minutes after convicted felon President Trump posted a command for him to cut rates – the precise timing is uncertain but it’s unlikely Powell knew of the 11:08 AM post and CNBC says only it was “shortly after” – Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell on Friday told a gathering of business journalists in Virginia that he’s in a holding pattern on interest rates until he gets a clearer picture of what the hell’s going on with the economy in the coming long aftermath of “Liberation Day.”

“Our obligation is to keep longer-term inflation expectations well anchored and to make certain that a one-time increase in the price level does not become an ongoing inflation problem,” Powell said in what CNBC describes as “prepared remarks,” so no it wasn’t him responding to Trump. “We are well positioned to wait for greater clarity before considering any adjustments to our policy stance. It is too soon to say what will be the appropriate path for monetary policy,” Powell continued.

The Dow Jones Industrial Average was down 1,437 points, well below the 40,000 mark at 39,047 at 11:45 AM EDT on Friday. Not clear home much, if any, of that dent was from Powell’s remarks.

Four different Caucasian males in suits on Friday broke down their sartorial and dermal cohesion and expressed different theories and explanations in an attempt to placate the audience of other Caucasian males in suits increasingly apprehensive over the numbers that also appeared at the bottom of the screen in most of this video. Except for main Fox News, which isn’t showing a ticker.

Another Caucasian male in a suit urged a different one to take action by changing some of the numbers to make the other numbers better, and to “stop playing politics” in a social media post “This would be a PERFECT time for Fed Chairman Jerome Powell to cut Interest Rates. He is always ‘late,’ but he could now change his image, and quickly. Energy prices are down, Interest Rates are down, Inflation is down, even Eggs are down 69 percent, and Jobs are UP, all within two months – A BIG WIN for America. CUT INTEREST RATES, JEROME, AND STOP PLAYING POLITICS!”

A resident of The Villages, Florida expressed to Villages-News.com a level of apprehension over the fate of the still-inchoate Hooters location in the vast retirement community after the wings-and-boobs-themed chain’s corporate owner announced Monday it had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

“I know that in my community there are at least 10 individuals who will be most disappointed if Hooters is unable to open due to financial difficulties,” the Village of Dabney resident Chuck Quincy said, his overly formal language coming across as a somewhat forced means of avoiding saying he’s looking forward to checking out the tits on the 19 year-old waitresses there and possibly buying them expensive shit in the hopes that they’ll engage in minor acts of prostitution while seated in his golf cart behind the establishment. “All were looking forward to the grand opening,” Quincy added.

Villages-News reports that Quincy and the at least 10 other individuals should fear not given that construction on the new Hooters continued briskly this week and that it’s the brand itself in dire straits, not the franchisee that manages it. “Hooters Inc” is solvent, owns half of the top 30 performing locations, and the restructuring plan specifically calls for such owner-operators to take the helm of the troubled brand. Put together it means the future’s looking Hooterful in the Villages.

From an investor note written by Wedbush Securities’ Dan Ives that’s going around: “The economic pain that will be brought by these tariffs are hard to describe and can essentially take the US tech industry back a decade in the process while China steamrolls ahead. 50 percent China tariffs, 32 percent Taiwan tariffs would essentially cause a shut-off valve from the US tech landscape and in the process cause every electronic to go up 40 percent-50 percent for consumers, iPhones made in the US would cost $3,500 (vs. $1,000), and the Al Revolution trade would be significantly slowed down by these head scratching tariffs that NEED to be negotiated to realistic levels.”

“‘Near term pain’ is a term being tossed around a lot… Let’s discuss the reality. It takes 4-5 years to build a manufacturing facility in the US, the cost of labor is unrealistic in the US to ever have semi fabs at scale, the skill set of the US workforce is years away from being ready for this transition thrust upon the economy by these Trump tariffs. If these tariffs went into place at current form overall tech earnings would come down 15 percent at least, the supply chain will be a Rubik’s Cube rivaling Covid days, and the economy would go into a recession/stagflation. We assume tariff negotiations start now otherwise dark days are ahead for tech… and US consumers pay the price for this… not a debate.” But Kamala Harris never proved she worked at McDonald’s in 1983.

The anonymous trader made National Zero famous on Monday due to his fantasy role playing game-ish grooming choices making him appear similar to that of a wizened yet cunning practitioner of sorcery was again prominently featured on CNBC’s website Friday. It’s not clear if the anonymous floor trader at the New York Stock Exchange is a Wiccan or something in real life but in any event his presence is a welcome switch from the more staid and conservative haircuts typical to other photos of ruminative traders busily working within the neoclassical redoubt on Wall Street.

And yeah, it’s a hectic day for the wizard and his buddies again as the Dow Jones is down 1,069.82 or 2.64 percent, the S&P 162.72 or 3.02 percent and the Nasdaq 499.55, also 3.02 percent after the ChiComs announced a 34 percent retaliatory tariff on upwards of $140 billion of US exports.

Convicted felon President Trump was plainly offended by Beijing’s response, posting “CHINA PLAYED IT WRONG, THEY PANICKED – THE ONE THING THEY CANNOT AFFORD TO DO!”

London Metropolitan Police on Friday announced that Q-pilled British “comedian” Russell Brand been charged with rape, indecent assault and sexual assault between 1999 and 2005 in incidents involving four separate women, and has been told to appear at the Westminster Magistrates’ Court on May 2, though it is believed that Brand is currently inside the United States, the BBC reports.

Brand, once known to US audiences as the legitimately funny Bono/Sting caricature Aldous Snow in the 2008 comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the less-successful but still sort-of decent 2010 spin-off Get Him to the Greek, saw his career stall out while married to pop star Katy Perry. One report about their divorce described Brand, a sobriety freak, as reliably miserable when showing up to drive Perry home from boozy Hollywood parties. A decade later he’d reinvented himself as a YouTube edgelord with millions of subscribers, who in 2023 reacted to conspiracy theory bullshit about Lahaina, Hawaii being incinerated by a Jewish space laser on loan to a shadowy cabal of ruthless real estate developers by saying “Whether it’s true or not, it feels true, and in terms of results, it is kind of true. There is a conspiracy to keep you poor and benefit rich elites.”

Brand is estimated to have made about $5 million from his content in 2024. He joins Andrew Tate, Robert F Kennedy Jr, Steven Crowder, and Donald Trump on the list of fringe content creators who have been publicly and credibly accused of serious sexual misconduct within the past few years.

“TO THE MANY INVESTORS COMING INTO THE UNITED STATES AND INVESTING MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY, MY POLICIES WILL NEVER CHANGE. THIS IS A GREAT TIME TO GET RICH, RICHER THAN EVER BEFORE!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Friday, just before the Dow Jones Industrial Average was set to drop another 966 points at the opening bell.

The mayor of Minot, North Dakota’s fourth-most populous city – which means it’s home to just over half as many people than can fit in the Dallas Cowboys’ home field at AT&T Stadium – resigned this week after accidentally texting a video of himself spanking the monkey to the city attorney in January, right after they’d had a phone call about a cop who shot himself dead at headquarters while under investigation for stealing heroin from the evidence locker, Breitbart reports.

Now maybe it really was an accident when now-former Mayor Tom Ross sent the weenie wagging video to City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim, given that it was right after the phone conversation, although that defense becomes somewhat more difficult to credit that once you see a pic of Stalheim, who might in fact be used to men sending her such “content” on Facebook and dating apps and what not. Ross, a paunchy, balding, bespectacled 60-something maintains that he’d meant to send it to his girlfriend and he immediately asked Stalheim to delete it without watching.

However, being the city attorney, a position that typically requires one to know a thing or two about the municipal workforce’s code of conduct, Stalheim determined that, ambiguous intent aside, sending her the video was still sexual harassment and filed a formal complaint against Ross two weeks after the circa January 15th spank video. After an investigation came to the same conclusion, Ross called it quits just before Stalheim was to submit her findings to the city council on Wednesday.

Breitbart wasn’t going out of their way to name which party Ross belongs to, though to be fair to them the Minot mayorship is officially non-partisan. However, had they known that in 2020 Ross, then a city councilman, had voted against a COVID mask mandate, they probably wouldn’t have printed the story. Here that vote makes it completely justifiable to put “MAGA” in the headline.

As a Biden appointee, General Haugh had no place serving in the Trump admin given the fact that he was HAND PICKED by General Milley, who was accused of committing treason by President Trump. Why would we want an NSA Director who was referred to Biden after being hand selected by… https://t.co/uoIl22TV76 pic.twitter.com/dxvNiG6BH8

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) April 4, 2025

Former Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms tells the Atlanta Journal-Constitution she’s getting ready to officially launch a gubernatorial run to succeed term-limited Republican Brian Kemp, stepping up after Dem Congresswoman Lucy McBath stepped back from her exploratory committee due to her husband’s health issues. On one hand it’s one Black woman taking a lane cleared by another and potentially risky when Stacy Abrams lost twice in a row to Kemp, on the other it’s probably a sign of a real confidence surge for Dems, that the GOP brand will be so fucking toxic (again) by November 2026 that it’s worth a shot. On the GOP side, “RINO”-ish Attorney General Chris Carr and insurrectionist Lt Gov Burt Jones are expected to step up to the plate.

A new Data for Progress survey of New York State Democratic primary voters finds Bronx Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez leading feckless Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer 55 to 36 percent in a head-to-head matchup of the 2028 primary for Schumer’s seat.

At 75 now Schumer is fairly spry at least compared to Joe Biden and Mitch McConnell but his condition and (to a lesser extent) his age aren’t the problem so much as his weakness and fecklessness, something that came to a head last month when he “led” the Dems to a capitulation on funding the government. Even if it was an impossible situation and his failure to get literally anything out of it shouldn’t have been entirely unexpected, Schumer made it look like he was going to play hardball right up until he got beaned, and then had to cancel his book tour. So yeah, the damage to his image is permanent and he should spend the next three years and change winding down, first stepping away from leadership next year and then retiring from the Senate.

“Should” doesn’t mean “will” but it’s hard to see him hanging on to his post and seat into 2029.

China announces 34% tariffs on US imports https://t.co/nTjR4WPug7

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 4, 2025

Dow Jones futures plummeted more that 600 points Friday morning as the Chinese commies announced a 34 percent retaliatory tariff on American products starting April 10th, CNBC reports on more MAGA, more winning. US producers sold an estimated $143.55 billion of products to Chinese customers in 2024, including mineral ore, oil, agricultural products such as grain, seed oils, and fruit, advanced machinery like nuclear reactor components, and specialized scientific/medical equipment.

“The Witch Hunt against Marine Le Pen is another example of European Leftists using Lawfare to silence Free Speech, and censor their Political Opponent, this time going so far as to put that Opponent in prison. It is the same ‘playbook’ that was used against me by a group of Lunatics and Losers… I don’t know Marine Le Pen, but do appreciate how hard she worked for so many years. She suffered losses, but kept on going, and now, just before what would be a Big Victory, they get her on a minor charge that she probably knew nothing about – Sounds like a ‘bookkeeping’ error to me. It is all so bad for France, and the Great French People, no matter what side they are on.”

“FREE MARINE LE PEN!” posted convcited felon President Trump late Thursday

Conservative South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol is now conservative former South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol after the country’s top court on Friday approved the National Assembly’s impeachment articles and removed the pilled son of a bitch from office, CNN reports.

Yoon had lost his shit after watching one too many right wing conspiracy YouTube videos and declared martial law, a fateful and fucking stupid decision that set in motion the events that led to Yoon’s removal and potentially facing the death penalty for insurrection four months later. If only…

Speaking to Newsmax assclown Rob Schmitt on “Rob Schmitt Tonight” on Thursday, couchfucker Vice President JD Vance asserted he and the rest the Trump administration were “feeling good” despite the catastrophic crash of the stock market and asserted that “one bad day” is going to render a “booming market for a long time,” despite the fact that it was pretty goddamned bad.

“We’re feeling good. Look, I frankly thought in some ways it could be worse in the markets because this is a big transition. You saw the president said earlier today; it’s like a patient who was very sick. We did the operation, and now it’s time to make the patient better. And that’s exactly what we’re doing,” Vance said and there’s probably video of this but who wants to see his stupid face.

“Prosecutor Kym Worthy has charged Christopher Dean Baldwin, 42, of Jackson, Michigan, in connection with stalking Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel and her wife, Plymouth City Commissioner Alanna Maguire. On March 7, 2024, Baldwin was previously charged with two counts of Misdemeanor Stalking in connection with the victims. While the case was pending Baldwin was evaluated and found to be incompetent. On March 20, 2025, the case was dismissed and removed from the Third Circuit Court Criminal Division to the Probate Court Division. Because this is a 12-month offense, MCL 330.2044, requires that if Baldwin remains incompetent for 4 months (1/3 of the maximum), the case must be dismissed until, and if, he regains competency. He has been found incompetent for four months. He is now under the jurisdiction of Wayne County Third Circuit Court Probate Division and is housed in a secure facility. If he regains competence, the criminal case will be reinstated,” says the Wayne County, Michigan prosecutor’s office in a press release.

“On February 27, 2025, it is alleged that Defendant Baldwin used the address for Attorney General Nessel and Commissioner Maguire’s family home in Plymouth and Attorney General Nessel’s phone number without permission, to receive court documents from 12th District Court in Jackson County, Michigan. Christopher Dean Baldwin has been charged with two counts of Aggravated Stalking.”