Categories
Uncategorized

“What if John Wilkes Booth is under my bed? What if he’s hiding?”

The parents of a Tennessee three year-old tell People Magazine that their daughter has become unhealthily fixated on and fearful of John Wilkes Booth ever since a November trip to Washington, DC where the family’s stops included the museum at Ford’s Theater and the Lincoln Memorial.

Cassie Litton tells the lifestyle publication – which bills the article as an “exclusive” – that while daughter Lainey’s mentions of Booth are not “an everyday occurrence,” it does “tend to find its way into just our day-to-day conversations,” adding that on a recent Sunday the family were attending church services “and the preacher was talking about how Jesus loves us. She looked at me and she said ‘Mommy, I love Jesus.’ I said ‘That’s awesome. I’m glad you do.’ She said, ‘Jesus loves us.’ I said, ‘That’s right.’ She said, ‘You know who we don’t love? I said, ‘Who?’ She said, ‘John Wilkes Booth.’”

The small girl’s obsession with Booth has found its way into her bedtime as Cassie says occasionally she has to reassure Lainey that the pro-Confederate actor is not “in her room” or “under her bed” at night. “She was afraid to lie in her bed one night. I said, ‘It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re in your room, nobody can bother you in your own house.’ She said, ‘Yeah, but what if John Wilkes Booth is under my bed? Like, what if he’s hiding?’ She said, ‘What if he comes to take my stuffed animals away?’”

Eventually further down People Magazine’s article it becomes apparent how the family ended up being interviewed for the “exclusive”: Cassie at some point in the last six months posted a Tiktok video of Lainey talking about Booth, where it got 14.2 million views. Eventually the post caught the attention of the staff at Ford’s Theater, who sent the family free merch. Which means that of course in this day and age you can’t rule out that the whole thing is staged and the girl’s being coached into the obsession, but at the same time it does seem more than idiosyncratic enough to have genuinely come from the mind of a child. Sometimes youngsters just come up with really weird, funny shit.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

TPUSA event deader than Charl- uh- Charlie Chaplin!

4 hours ago

Team Box-o-Wine shows up at Fed, promptly told to get lost

6 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Neckbeard tries to help duct tape TPUSA together

9 hours ago

Baby Jessica fell into a jail cell

10 hours ago

CENTCOM says six ships turned around from blockade

11 hours ago

“DoorDash grandma” swears she’s “not a paid actor”

13 hours ago

Diet Coke prevents cancer: Dr Trump

14 hours ago

Iran attacks US housing supply

15 hours ago

Todd Blanche’s heart aches for Melania’s Epstein-related anxieties

16 hours ago

Hollywood mobilizes against Paramount-WB MAGAmerger

16 hours ago

House to vote on bill renaming Big Beautiful Bill

16 hours ago

“National security is even more important than your pocketbook”

17 hours ago

IMF projects Trump unilaterally fucked global economic growth

17 hours ago

Meloni backs Pope against Antichrist

18 hours ago

Orange God Emperor doesn’t know top FEMA official can teleport

19 hours ago

Riley Gaines stays with abuser, nervously laughs off his cruelty

20 hours ago

US carrier George HW Bush avoids Red Sea, sails around Africa

20 hours ago

Crypto douchebag rages at Trump boys over betrayal

21 hours ago

Jaydee missed the memo on Trump’s “doctor” AI slop “mistake”

1 day ago

Gone with the-zales: Second terrible headline in a row

1 day ago

Swal’s well that ends not well… at all: Swalwell resigns

1 day ago

Trump to present WSJ with award for Epstein letter

1 day ago

New “Mass Deportation Coalition” forms to pressure Trump

1 day ago

Report: Retired grandmas don’t pay tax on tips either

1 day ago

Euro antitrust enforcers raid delicious chocolate factories

2 days ago

Surprise! Trump’s “DoorDash delivery” staged

2 days ago

Well being demented enough to believe the Jesus AI slop actually depicted him as a magical Red Cross doctor is a way to downplay it

2 days ago

Pickles x Pabst Blue Ribbon a bold play for post-ironic hipster irony

2 days ago

“Rapists should be hung”

2 days ago

White House DEI study finds its way to predetermined conclusion

2 days ago

Clavicular-MRA slang appropriated by McDonald’s

2 days ago

Antichrist crucified

2 days ago

Naval warfare mastermind warns opponent to avoid B9, F7, and A5

2 days ago

“Democrats like high gas prices because of their radical climate agenda”: MAGA Wyoming Senator John Barrasso’s bold take

2 days ago

House Oversight removes Bondi deposition from schedule

2 days ago

Judge tosses Trump case against Murdoch, WSJ over Epstein letter

2 days ago

Fox News reports rogue priest defiant against faith’s true prophet

2 days ago

ICE internments dropped 12 percent since January

2 days ago

Philippines president answers health questions with jumping jacks

2 days ago

Orange Jesus’s fanboys annoyed he got so literal with it

2 days ago

Why Orban’s defeat was actually bad for Democrats: Politico

2 days ago

Leo wouldn’t be Pope without me: Trump

2 days ago

George Santos not satisfied by Swalwell quitting guberbatorial bid

2 days ago

CENTCOM says blockade operation a go

2 days ago

Hungary liberated from Viktor Orban’s regime

3 days ago

RonAnon “not surprised” Jaydee failed: Sunday AM Live Coverage

3 days ago

Orange Fuhrer redeclares war on Iran

3 days ago

Screw you guys, I’m going home: Jaydee to Iranians

3 days ago

New York Times headline seems likely to cause a nasty rash

3 days ago

Judge Box-o-Wine off attorney general shortlist due to failures

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x