“Can you get this out to every canvasser immediately: Good morning all! Thank you all for your hard work. This weekend we knocked on a record-breaking numbers of doors in our battleground states.”

“Even with the difficulty of this turf, it’s mind-blowing what our 1500+ canvassers are accomplishing every single day. And it’s working – turnout among low-propensity voters in battleground states is shattering 2020 levels. A handful of disgruntled former contractors who were either fired or demoted are conspiring with reporters who want to elect Kamala Harris and undermine our program”

“Please ask your canvassers to keep an eye out and let their managers know if they receive any calls we should know about. If for whatever reason a reporter calls and you find yourself in a conversation, just politely say ‘no comment’ and end the conversation to comply with the non-disclosure agreement that all of us are under. These reporters want to elect Democrats and embarrass their sources so ‘no comment’ is always the best approach,” says a text message sent out to door-knockers working for Blitz Canvassing, a contractor hired by Leon Elon Musk’s PAC to run convicted felon former President Trump’s “ground game” in Arizona and Nevada where as many as 25 percent – maybe even more – of the door-knocks have been completely faked.

The best part is that the Guardian’s Hugo Lowell posted a screenshot of that text, two days after he reported that it was a complete shitshow on the ground and whatever jerkoff that wrote this is telling the rest of the canvassers in this message that the leak’s already been plugged, lol.

“Attorney General Kris Mayes today issued the following statement after Defendant Peggy Judd entered a guilty plea this morning in case number: CR2023-008495-001. Mr. Judd acknowledged that she failed to canvass the election as required by law and agreed to plead guilty to Failure or Refusal to Perform Duty by an Election Officer, a Class 3 misdemeanor. Judd will be sentenced to unsupervised probation for not less than 90 days. She will also pay a maximum $500 fine. A copy of the signed plea agreement will be available below later this morning,” says the Arizona Attorney General’s office in a statement on the find out phase of Cochise County’s MAGA fuck around.

Following a mishap in which hundreds of donuts fell out of the back of a delivery truck in Allen Park, Michigan late at night last week, forcing local police to spend an hour cleaning them up off the road to prevent a traffic hazard from the glaze, global donut company Krispy Kreme decided to apologize and show gratitude to the cops by sending them 40 boxes of donuts, the Detroit Free Press reports.

“We thought we’d thank them,” Krispy Kreme spokesman Jack Farmer told the Free Press, adding that they were glad the accident happened at 1:30 AM on Friday and not during rush hour when drivers would’ve mocked the cops for picking donuts up off the road. The police department made fun of themselves too at least, writing “While investigating a traffic hazard, it was found a delivery truck lost its load. The road was cleared but most of the Krispy Kreme donuts were lost. Our officers are still grieving but will press on,” in a Facebook post following the donut accident.

“Welcome to the 24/7 KTN Kenya News Channel – your trusted source for the latest news and updates in Kenya and beyond. Stay informed with our comprehensive news coverage, breaking stories, in-depth analysis, and exclusive reports,” says the promo for KTN and it seems pretty legit.

Schools in Fairbanks, Alaska are closed Monday due to a snowstorm expected to dump as much as 10 inches on the region, Alaska Public Media reports. Also closed are the public library, the University of Alaska’s campus, the city bus system, and most borough department (Alaskan for “county”) buildings. A candidate forum for state Senate and House seats was moved to Zoom.

In Fairbanks, Alaska, a city 140 miles south of the Arctic Circle, deep in the hostile continental interior of the state, 10 inches of snow is disrupting public infrastructure and transit.

In a segment aired on whatever they call the Russian version of Fox News, American defector and former staffer to now-President Joe Biden’s Senate office Tara Reade appears, per Kremlin media watcher Julia Davis in a piece at CEPA.org, “walking the streets of Moscow in sandals with a cat on a leash and a black dress seemingly covered with cat hair. Looking into the camera, she delivered a few short phrases in broken Russian, including a prediction that an October surprise is coming.”

The “October Surprise,” per Reade, is that Biden and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky are planning a major terrorist attack against Moscow. But, according to Reade and the propaganda show’s voiceover, “Hurricane Tara will be more dangerous to Biden than Hurricane Milton,” and she’s got a surprise of her own: “For many years Madam Reade has been collecting kompromat against the chieftain of the Washington regime… Her every claim is like a silver bullet for the vampire in Washington and all of his partners in crime, from Victoria Nuland to Kamala Harris.”

“The promises that Kompromat against Joe Biden would deliver a crushing blow to the American president kept coming. But the viewer on the edge of her seat would have been disappointed. The evidence never materialized and Reade’s revelations were limited to rehashing her previously publicized accusations, with a few insults and insinuations thrown in… There was little effort to pretend that the newly arrived American, now wholly dependent on the Russian state, was doing anything other than repeating scripted phrases on behalf of her paymasters,” Davis writes, adding that the special ended with Reade pleading for Russian citizenship from “Vladimir Vladimirovich.”

Republican North Carolina Congressman and McDonald’s franchisee Chuck Edwards, whose district was utterly devastated late last month by Hurricane Helene and as many as 200 of his constituents dead, took time from a press conference in the disaster zone to mention that he gave convicted felon former President Trump – who is not currently an elected official and thus has no reason to be present at a press conference on the marshaling of public resources to the response effort in the region – a french fry cook certification pin, which Trump displayed proudly to reporters gathered to hear how long it will take to restore electricity and running water to people’s homes in the area.

It’s not clear when Edwards gave Trump the pin, but it would not be surprising in the least if it was just minutes before Trump posted a “complete and total endorsement” of the congressman, whom he already endorsed earlier this year. One wonders what shape Edwards’ McDonald’s franchise(s) are in and how his workers are doing now… And what lengths he went through to get the pin.

The fat bastard also claimed the rigged betting markets are a real poll, implied FEMA workers deserve to be threatened with death by armed MAGA conspiracy freaks, and then falsely claimed the agency is spending money on migrants so they’ll vote against him in the election.

A federal grand jury last week returned an indictment against Kentucky man Nathan Riddle, accusing him of setting the Burkesville City Hall/Police Department headquarters of fire in October 2020 in what had been a successful bid to destroy the blood sample evidence against him in a driving under the influence case from earlier that month, the Lexington Herald-Leader reports.

It’s not clear if Riddle has any plan to open a water main to flood the room containing whatever evidence prosecutors have in the arson case against him, but he’s probably working on that now.

A former Florida state Department of Health lawyer writes in an affidavit he refused to sign letters drafted by Napoleonic Governor Ron DeSantis’s counsel threatening TV stations for airing ads urging people to vote yes on the abortion referendum next month and resigned, Florida Politics reports.

“I did not draft the letters or participate in any discussions about the letters prior to October 3, 2024,” wrote John Wilson, who said he quit his post as DOH General Counsel a week later because he refused to send more letters to the stations. “I received drafts of the letter directly from Sam Elliot, Assistant General Counsel for the Executive Office of the Governor, earlier that day.”

Wilson, along with QAnon-ish fucking quack state Surgeon Joseph Ladopo, were slapped with a lawsuit by an abortion rights group that led a judge to put a temporary restraining order on the DeSantis Regime from threatening any TV stations. The plaintiff, Floridians Protecting Freedom, voluntarily dismissed Wilson as a defendant after he submitted the affidavit to the court.

Every Monday, @chucktodd and I spent 40 minutes talking politics (and sports).

This week, I put a simple question to him: Would you rather be Harris or Trump as of today?

His answer and MUCH more in my newsletter. Subscribe at link in bio! pic.twitter.com/fMGDTn7uCY

— Chris Cillizza (@ChrisCillizza) October 21, 2024

Ah damn, made a mistake in the headline. Got a few of the nouns wrong. Could change it but it’s still kind of true in spirit, right? Like it would be just as enjoyable to sit through it and you’d feel just kind of depressed for spending a single minute, let alone 40, listening to their performances.

“Arab Voters are very upset that Comrade Kamala Harris, the Worst Vice President in the History of the United States and a Low IQ individual, is campaigning with ‘dumb as a rock’ War Hawk, Liz Cheney, who, like her father, the man that pushed Bush to ridiculously go to War in the Middle East, also wants to go to War with every Muslim Country known to mankind. Remember, Liz Cheney lost her Seat by the LARGEST margin, 40 percent, in History for a sitting Congressperson.”

“If Kamala gets four more years, the Middle East will spend the next four decades going up in flames, and your kids will be going off to War, maybe even a Third World War, something that will never happen with President Donald J Trump in charge. For our Country’s sake, and for your kids, Vote Trump for PEACE!” posted convicted felon former President Trump, probably from a script handed to him after he sat for an interview with Saudi state TV that aired on Sunday night.

It might work better if it didn’t come three days after the fat fuck told reporters that war criminal Israel dictator Benjamin Netanyahu “is doing a good job, Biden is trying to hold him back… and probably should be doing the opposite. I’m glad that Bibi decided to do what he had to do,” meaning Trump is just fine with “Bibi” ordering the continued slaughter of innocent people in Gaza.

Charlotte region motorists can expect heavier traffic and possible delays Monday afternoon because Eric Trump and Ben Carson are in town for a “Trump’s 11th Hour Faith Leaders Meeting” at the Concord Convention Center in North Carolina’s largest city, the Charlotte Observer reports.

That’s right. You could end up stuck in traffic if you drive on a street near the convention center, your route impeded by Christian MAGA voters just dying to hear former HUD Secretary Dr Ben Carson and Trump Organization Executive Eric Trump talk about the importance of faith to politics.

Don’t say the Charlotte Observer didn’t warn you. If you plan on not pulling over when a cop tries to stop you for a broken tail light because you have a shit ton of meth sitting in a duffel bag in the back of your 1999 Nissan XTerra then you might have to just gun it through a crowd of boomer-aged right wing faithful streaming into the convention center on a weekday afternoon. This is the heads up to stay off the roads in the area, for meth traffickers and non-meth traffickers alike.

Mike Pence replacement JD Vance on Monday declined to clarify his boss, convicted felon former President Trump’s constant screaming about on whether Vice President Kamala Harris actually worked at a McDonald’s in 1983, telling Fox News wasn’t quite sure if there’s an official Trump-Vance 2024 position on the matter. Jaydee was however happy to say that what Trump really means when he screams about “internal enemies” is Antifa and Black Lives Matter protestors from four years ago.

When reminded by anchor Bill Hemmer that Trump specifically mentioned Adam Schiff and the Pelosis, Vance then more or less said it’s justified to send the military to kill them because of the impeachments and that Schiff investigated Trump for colluding with Russia in the 2016 campaign and that the Pelosis got rich from insider trading. Not sure if there’s a different takeaway here.

Members of the infamous “Central Park 5” on Monday filed a federal defamation lawsuit against convicted felon former President Trump for falsely stating they had pleaded guilty to a crime during the September 10th debate on ABC News that he humiliatingly lost to Vice President Kamala Harris.

From the relevant portion of the complaint:

The five had never pleaded guilty. They were brought to trial, convicted, imprisoned, and released after a serial rapist confessed to the April 1989 attack on jogger Trisha Meili in 2002, his confession corroborated by DNA evidence. The city of New York paid them a $41 million settlement for the wrongful conviction. We’ll see how much coverage and defense from Trump and his minions this generates, but it’d a pretty solid hit if it does make for a news cycle, especially if they’re stuck trying to parse out his demented rambling from a debate he lost badly, seizing on “And if they pled guilty – then they pled we’re not guilty” to claim he wasn’t deliberately lying about the men.

“Nearly one in five Republicans (19 percent), including 23 percent of Republicans who hold a favorable view of Trump, say that if Trump loses the election, he should declare the results invalid and do whatever it takes to assume office,” says a finding from a Public Religion Research Institute survey published earlier this month but doing the rounds on political media sites on Monday.

Essentially what this question found was that 23 percent of Trump fanboys admit that they were full of shit about the 2020 election and that all of those fan fiction stories about the hacked Chinese thermostats, bamboo ballots, Italian satellites, the Venezuelan supercomputer, and so on. They admit that they knew he lost and are rooting for their Orange Fuhrer to lie about it again if it means the dumber 77 percent of them will buy into it and commit acts of violence against election workers and Democratic officials if it will help him seize power and end American democracy.

Of course this was fucking obvious. It didn’t take a PhD in psychology and/or criminology to see that all those fan fiction stories were just a means to an end for Team Fascism. What’s nice here is we finally have a rough quantification of the malevolent mens rea of election denialism.

A new Suffolk University/USA Today national survey finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 63 to 34 percent among respondents who have already voted (described by USA Today as a “seventh” of the sample) and 52 to 39 percent with those planning to vote early (about a third of the sample) while Trump leads planned election day voters 52 to 35 percent (half of the sample). Overall Harris leads 45 to 44 percent nationally.

This is biased even for the @nytimes. McDonald’s has no record of her working there. The Times found no one who worked with her or employed her. It’s the only blue collar job she claims to have had. She does not mention the job in an early resume at the time. She does not mention…

— Marc Thiessen 🇺🇸❤️🇺🇦🇹🇼🇮🇱 (@marcthiessen) October 21, 2024

Continued wienery Washington Post conservative diversity hire Marc Thiessen after the cutoff: “She does not mention the job in an early resume at the time. She does not mention it in her memo. No friends (save one) remember her saying she did. The first time she mentions it publicly is… during her 2019 campaign. All of which proves Trump is lying. They clearly put the investigative resources of the Time to prove she worked there and couldn’t verify it – yet instead of reporting that wrote a Trump is lying column. Unbelievable.” The pussy-ass bitch then links to the Times report (not a column) titled “Kamala Harris and McDonald’s: A College Job, and a Trump Attack.”

Actually not even sure if this beta hasn’t caved and endorsed the Orange God Emperor yet, in which case the headline should say “Trump fanboy” instead of “anti-anti-Trumper.” Anyway, what’s funny is that he doesn’t complain about his own employer’s reporting about the fake-ass McDonald’s “shift,” in which the Post’s headline and subhed accurately (and refreshingly for the MSM these days) described the photo op as a “stage-managed campaign stop – Trump didn’t answer a question on the minimum wage, instead promoting his unsubstantiated claim that Kamala Harris never worked at the burger chain,” and that “The restaurant was closed to the public during Trump’s visit, and the motorists whom Trump served were screened by the US Secret Service and positioned before his arrival. No one ordered food. Instead, the attendees received whatever Trump gave them.”

So Thiessen instead channeled his butthurt outside of the house like the bitch he is, lol.

Russian dictator Vladimir Putin’s regime on Monday ripped into Moldova’s government after the former Soviet republic’s electorate approved a referendum to join the European Union and reelected pro-western President Maia Sandu, with the Kremlin goons denouncing the vote as “unfree” and casting doubt on what it said was a “hard-to-explain” increase in votes in favor of Sandu and the EU, and demanding the incumbent “present evidence” of their meddling, NBC News reports.

This might actually be the single most succinct example of the cuntish entitlement of right wingers, that they demand a democratically-elected leader prove she won legitimately after they paid off as many as 300,000 Moldovans to vote no in the referendum and for their guy in the simultaneous presidential election. “Criminal groups… have attacked our country with tens of millions of euros, lies and propaganda, using the most disgraceful means to keep our citizens and our nation trapped in uncertainty and instability,” said Sandu prior to vote in which the pro-EU side won by 0.39 percent.

Sandu took 42 percent to main rival, former prosecutor-general Alexandr Stoianoglo’s 26 percent, forcing a November 3rd runoff. Stoianoglo’s platform calls for a “balanced” foreign policy approach, which sure sounds like he’s Vlad’s dog in this fight. The second placer had boycotted the EU join referendum vote, saying it was just a gimmick to increase turnout for Sandu’s base.

A new set of Washington Post-Schar School swing state surveys finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump among likely voters by 51 to 47 percent in Georgia, 50 to 47 percent in Wisconsin, and 49 to 47 percent in both Michigan and Pennsylvania. Nevada is tied at 48 while Trump leads 50 to 47 percent in North Carolina and 49 to 46 percent in Arizona.