Batshit insane Florida Congresswoman Anna-Paulina Luna tells Fox News that the evil corrupt socialist warlord Joe Biden called her personally last week to taunt her mercilessly over her insignificance to reassure her that his administration would be pulling out all the stops to deliver aid to her Tampa Bay-area district after Hurricane Milton devastated the region last week.

“Well, I did not expect that. So I talked to him on the phone for about 10 minutes. First thing that he asked me was, what did I need for my constituents, and how did I fare with the storm. And then [we] moved forward into talking about the issues that we’re having with FEMA,” Luna said, admitting outright she believed her own horseshit about Biden purposefully tormenting her constituents.

“I have obviously been very critical of President Biden in the past, but I will say that him stepping in and taking control of the situation to assist for the right reasons was very honestly kind of shocking for me. Obviously, you know, we’re still going to be holding FEMA accountable. But as far as I am seeing, FEMA has been very helpful, and I’ve been in direct communication with them. And they’re absolutely going to assist, because President Biden has told them to do so,” Luna continued.

Hope he's okay. https://t.co/WGhGteFpjm

— Kamala Harris (@KamalaHarris) October 15, 2024

From the AP’s description: “Many of his supporters made their way to the exits, but some stayed through the end. The scene was reminiscent of Trump’s winters at Mar-a-Lago, his South Florida estate, where he likes to play DJ and hold court with the wealthy members of his private club.”

“Finally, Trump left the stage as ‘Memory’ from the musical ‘Cats’ played,” the AP’s report continued.

“Lyin’ Kamala, after having turned down the FoxNews Debate on September 4th, which I accepted, is now saying she wants to Debate, despite the fact that the Votes are already being cast…” and blah blah blah posted convicted felon former President Trump at 12:43 AM on Tuesday.

“…As to her completely desperate request for my Medical Statements, she is dying to see my Cholesterol (which is 180!), I have already provided them, many times, including quite recently, and they were flawless. However, I have just seen Kamala’s Report, and it is not good. According to her Doctor’s Report, she suffers from ‘urticaria,’ defined as ‘a rash of round, red welts on the skin that itch intensely, sometimes with dangerous swelling.’ She also has ‘allergic rhinitis and allergic conjunctivitis,’ a very messy and dangerous situation,” the fat bastard continued, lol.

“…I’ve put out more Medical Exams than any other President in History, and aced two Cognitive Exams (the Doctor stated that my ‘cognitive exams were exceptional!’). I am far healthier than Clinton, Bush, Obama, Biden, but especially, Kamala. Also, I am far too busy campaigning to take time, from the 22 days left, as I am using every hour, of every day, campaigning, because we have to take back our Country from the Radical Left people that are destroying it,” he kept going.

The 49-year-old Nevada man arrested on gun charges about a quarter-mile from a Trump rally near Coachella, California claims he’s no assassin but just a gun-loving Trump fan, NBC News reports, and he’s speaking out to counter the “defamatory statements […] released by the police in the region.”

“I’m a Trump caucus captain. I’ve collected votes for Donald Trump, and I’m also a Trump team leader,” Vem Miller said in the video posted online; none of his claims have been corroborated as yet. “It is with that that I decided to come to Coachella after receiving a special invitation from members of the Nevada Republican Party.”

Various news reports describe Miller as part of the “sovereign citizen” movement that does not recognize most federal government authority.  Miller’s car had homemade license plates, and he had multiple forms of ID, including fake passports.  Sheriff’s deputies arrested Miller for violating state weapons laws.

“These two are phonies.  These are phony candidates, for whom no one voted.  This is a phony campaign:  Kamala comes out with her phony accent all the time,”  says Donald Trump’s daughter-in-law, pop singer Lara Trump, who appears to follow the family tradition of botox and plastic surgery.  “They’re phony, Sean, right down to the real camo, the Realtree camo hats, the Harris-Walz hats that you see them constantly forcing their surrogates to wear out there as though it’s gonna trick the red-blooded men in the United States of America to say, oh, wait, you got the Realtree camo hats, I can vote for these two.”

Fake university. Fake hair. Fake charity. Fake presidential authority. Fake marriage. Fake fortune. Fake business successes. Fake reality show.

Reuters reports that officials with Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign are in talks with producers from Joe Rogan’s popular podcast for an appearance in the coming weeks before Election Day.  The move is a direct attack on adjudicated rapist Donald Trump’s election strategy of going after the bro vote by sitting for an interview directly aimed at them.

Trump reportedly has said he would also appear on Rogan’s podcast, saying on Sunday, “I think I’m doing it,” which is as much commitment as you’ll get out of Trump.  (Just ask his three wives.). The comparison between the two candidates to the audience of the most popular podcast in the country could sway much sought-after low-frequency voters.

Alleged batterer and Republican South Dakota Kristi Noem’s male mistress Corey Lewandowski is under orders by the Republican standard-bearer, convicted felon Donald Trump, to stay in New Hampshire to try to flip the state in the upcoming presidential election, CBS News reports.

Although he continues to make appearances at campaign rallies, Trump reportedly told Lewandowski that his “sole focus is to win New Hampshire.”  Campaign leaders Susie Wiles and Chris LaCivita may have demanded Lewandowski’s ouster from the main campaign after accusing LaCivita of misusing campaign funds and calling for an audit.  We’ll note that the candidate himself faces a half-billion dollar civil penalty for financial fraud and sentencing hearing for 34 convictions of falsifying company paperwork to cover up a tryst he had with a porn star while he was cheating on his mistress while his wife cared for their newborn son.  Y’know:  “family values.”

Top billing goes to Vice President Kamala Harris and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz in Pennsylvania even if convicted felon former President Trump is (probably) going first.

“On Sunday, October 13, 2024, at approximately 8:03 pm, The Utah Highway Patrol began to receive multiple reports of a male pedestrian running through traffic on Interstate 15 near 600 North in Salt Lake City. Troopers searched the area several times but could not locate the individual. At approximately 9:06 pm, the pedestrian was located. The male was in the northbound travel lanes but ran from troopers after being challenged to stop. Troopers coordinated to control traffic by attempting a slow down in the area and attempting to apprehend the individual to keep them from causing a crash or getting hit. As the male fled from officers on the Northbound I-15 600 North off-ramp, he jumped over a cement barrier. Multiple attempts were made to obtain compliance.”

“A Taser device was deployed to keep him from going back into the roadway. The male fell from the off-ramp an estimated 30 feet into the residential yard below. Officers from multiple agencies responded to the residence and gained access to the fallen pedestrian. Life-saving measures were attempted, but the male was pronounced dead at the scene,” says Utah Highway Patrol statement.

MAGA Michigan 6th District candidate Tom Barrett’s campaign claims it was just a typo when they placed an ad in a Lansing-area Black weekly newspaper telling them to get out and vote on November 6th, the Detroit Free press reports on an old Onion joke becoming reality.

“The goal is to earn more support from Black voters and this was nothing but a proofing error,” campaign spokesperson Jason Roe said in a statement. “In addition to attending community meetings and meeting with local leaders, we’ve dedicated resources to urban radio and direct mail, in addition to print ads in the Michigan Bulletin in our efforts to reach every community.”

Dems in the state have called on the Attorney General Dana Nessel’s office to investigate. “At best, Tom Barrett and his Campaign have committed a shocking oversight which will undoubtedly lead to confusion by Black voters in Lansing,” Dem state Senators Sarah Anthony and Erika Geiss wrote in the complaint to the AG. “And, at worst, this ad could be part of an intentional strategy to ‘deter’ Black voters by deceiving them into showing up to vote on the day after the 2024 election.”

It is far easier to argue that your opponent is not fit to serve if you can provide confidence that you are fit to serve yourself. That’s part of how Donald Trump’s refusal to publicize his medical records followed by contradictory and incomplete explanations from Trump’s campaign, makes for a major campaign moment that has the potential to upend the race to the White House. Fitness now takes on literal meaning and outsize importance in a tumultuous campaign that already seemed to see everything. Questions about Trump’s health figure to compete for space with how Trump’s campaign handled the fallout, for at least the next few days, if not right through Election Day.

One bad health spell could have the impact of legitimizing concerns raised by Kamala Harris that Trump has been seeking to delegitimize. It puts Trump’s allies in an awkward spot in what was already set to be a difficult phase of his campaign. In a measure of how difficult this may be for Trump to muddle through, Harris and her campaign have shown very little restraint.

OMG! Reality star OMAROSA endorsed KAMALA even though OMAROSA used to work for DONALD alongside STEVE and the other STEVE after he defeated HILLARY, Variety reports in an EXCLUSIVE!

(The “STEVE” above is the Nazi one. Okay the bald Nazi one. The dirty Nazi one was there too).

It turns out that the reports of a column of MAGA militia out “hunting” FEMA personnel in western North Carolina on Saturday were exaggerated but not completely false, WRAL reports, citing the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Department. The only Trump fanboy out for blood against federal employees was 44 year-old William Parsons, who finds himself charged with a very made-up sounding misdemeanor of “going armed to the terror of the public.” Other details are sketchy but somehow this morphed into an entire truckload of Oath Keeper types on the prowl.

We’ll just go ahead and speculate that Tesla CEO Elon Musk would react to this CBS News report of four people being burned beyond recognition in the city of Niort, France when one of his company’s cars drifted off the road with something like “Whatever. French people don’t have souls anyway.”

“Plus have you ever seen pics of their women on topless beaches? You can’t even enjoy looking at them because their armpits look like bird’s nests,” Musk probably continued in a conversation with his legal team after being informed of the deadly accident that took the lives of four restaurant workers, the youngest of which was 16. “I don’t hire French people,” Musk added, probably.

“An inquiry has been opened to determine the causes and circumstances of the deadly accident, a probe during which expertise on the vehicle will be requested,” a local judge said in the real world following the crash. “That fucking baguette-eating fascist little bitch can go fuck himself. Go FUCK himself. He hates free speech,” Musk probably will actually end up saying for real if this goes south.

One of Senator and then Vice President Kamala Harris’s signature policy efforts, a $5 billion fleet of electric school buses, is finally hitting the road, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Weel not really everywhere, even though that made for a good misleading headline. But it’s happening. Slowly but surely the suckitude of school bussing is going green.

“This year’s laureates in the economic sciences – Daron Acemoglu, Simon Johnson and James Robinson – have demonstrated the importance of societal institutions for a country’s prosperity. Societies with a poor rule of law and institutions that exploit the population do not generate growth or change for the better. The laureates’ research helps us understand why,” write the biased haters at the so-called Noble Prize Committee announcing they were giving the award to the socialist globalists who wrote some Marxist manifesto that nobody even read or can understand.

Nobody knows how the economy works like President “Trump.” You had four years of no inflation, three years of high employment, low gas prices, low mortgage rates, and absolutely historic stock market gains. The American dream was real and then something happened in the 2020 election even though “Trump” got more votes than any president ever. Now the economy is a disaster and our borders have been opened to an invasion of cat-eating America-hating insane asylum migrants.

Many experts have rated the “Trump” economy to be the greatest in history, even greater than Adam Jackson’s. Not a lot of people know this, but he invented the first bank in the United States, all the way back in 1820. They called it the Gilded 20s because America was so rich and a lot of states had zero Black unemployment. It was the second lowest in history, except for 2017 to 2021. The Noble Prize committee should be placed under investigation. What they did had to be illegal some way. Their awarding license should be revoked. It was criminal, really. Election interference.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after this important “Noble Prize” update hypothesizing how the most pro-economy president in history reacted to the news.

“As Gov Tim Walz seeks a promotion to second-in-command of the country, Congress is investigating how he allowed the largest COVID-era scam in the nation to unfold in Minnesota while serving as the head of the state. Rep Virginia Foxx, R-NC, chair of the House Education and Workforce Committee, has subpoenaed Walz for information in connection with the Minnesota-grown Feeding Our Future scam,” says a press release by mean old hag Congresswoman Virginia Foxx, laundered into an “article” by low-budget right wing propaganda site Alpha News.

“We’re not going after [Walz] because he is the vice-presidential nominee. We’re going after the state of Minnesota where he is the governor because the taxpayers of the United States have been cheated out of $250 million,” said Foxx, who looks like she drives a Chrysler Fifth Avenue that permanently smells like Winstons and screams at children to get off her property on Halloween.

A new national survey by right wing pollster TIPP finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 49 to 46 percent among likely voters.