“Today, Attorney General Pamela Bondi announced charges against three individuals responsible for the violent destruction of Tesla properties. All three defendants will face the full force of the law for using Molotov cocktails to set fire to Tesla cars and charging stations.’The days of committing crimes without consequence have ended,’ said Attorney General Pamela Bondi. ‘Let this be a warning: if you join this wave of domestic terrorism against Tesla properties, the Department of Justice will put you behind bars,'” says a Justice Department press release.

“One defendant, also armed with a suppressed AR-15 rifle, was arrested after throwing approximately eight Molotov cocktails at a Tesla dealership located in Salem, Oregon. Another was arrested in Loveland, Colorado after attempting to light Teslas on fire with Molotov cocktails. The defendant was later found in possession of materials used to produce additional incendiary weapons. In Charleston, South Carolina, a third defendant wrote profane messages against President Trump around Tesla charging stations before lighting the charging stations on fire with Molotov cocktails. Each defendant faces serious charges carrying a minimum penalty of five years and up to 20 years in prison. The Department of Justice is committed to ending all acts of violence and arson directed at Tesla properties and otherwise,” and that last sentence was serious, lol.

Nothing wasteful, fraudulent, or abusive about new federal cases being added for people who were already charged by local prosecutors, right? Especially when people who smeared shit on the walls of the United Staes Capitol and beat up cops have been pardoned too. But maybe the best way to get people to stop throwing molotov cocktails at what they at least perceive to be symbols of a fascist regime is to stop acting like a fascist regime. How about just be corrupt and incompetent but by and large otherwise mostly just leave Americans alone like you did from 2017 to 2021?

An update from the South African Chamber of Commerce in the US says they’ve “handed over information of 67,042 South Africans expressing interest in the resettlement opportunity offered by President Donald J Trump’s Executive Order. On March 18, 2025, SACCUSA handed this data over to the US Embassy in Pretoria, requesting that these South Africans be prioritized and kept regularly updated with necessary information about their resettlement process.”

The page doesn’t say “white” anywhere. The AP’s article specifies that they’re “white South Africans” who are responding to the fat fuck’s invitation as ordered by their Boer brother Elon Musk, in response to “government actions fueling disproportionate violence against racially disfavored landowners,” which was a load of shit but here we are with a DEI immigration policy.

Another month gone by in this shitty timeline, another scorecard to fill out:

FBI agent Jonathan Bumaa, who publicly criticized the agency’s handling of investigations into alcoholic shitbrain Rudy Giuliani and other Trump minions, was arrested this week at Kennedy Airport in New York City and charged with leaking classified information over material he had collected for a memoir about the his time with the bureau, ABC News reports.

“Buma also printed nine text-file documents which contained text that had been copied and pasted from reports that were marked in a way that made clear that the information must be protected,” said the arrest affidavit that claimed Buma had emailed a draft of his memoir containing the info.

Even Karoline Leavitt seems slightly thrown off a beat by Fox News ice queen Harris Faulkner ruminating Thursday over what could happen if a libtard throws a molotov at an occupied Tesla, worried that the federal government would have to use the death penalty in such an instance. It was riveting stuff, even if from the in media res segment by clip guy Aaron Rupar for the first few seconds seems to sound like something that happens anyway when people are driving Teslas rather than when the cars are empty and sitting on a lot targeted by an anti-DOGE lib.

Democrat Josh Weil, running against some MAGA dickhead in Florida’s 6th District to replace now National Security Advisor Mike Waltz, has raised $9.5 million for his campaign in the April 2nd special for the R+33 seat, the Daytona News-Journal reports on Dem donors not really learning a lesson.

“Brad Schimel is in the midst of a monumental comeback and has pulled within striking distance of Susan Crawford in the Wisconsin Supreme Court race with less than two weeks to go until Election Day. Despite trailing Crawford by 13 points just two weeks ago, Schimel has now surged to within five points of Crawford (48-43) on the ballot in our latest survey, which is weighted to reflect the turnout of Wisconsin’s 2023 State Supreme Court election. When we adjust our sample to reflect November 2024 turnout, Schimel is within one point of Crawford (46-45) – a statistical tie,” says the intro to an internal memo by the Elon Musk-backed “Building America’s Future” PAC.

Schimel is the MAGA candidate and Susan Crawford is the Dem in the “officially non-partisan” race for the seat to replace a retiring liberal, so just like in the 2023 race won by lib Janet Protasiewicz, the court’s majority hangs in the balance and will likely mean a few US House seats too. Not to tempt fate here so much as pointing out where Musk’s minions are definitely getting a little too rosy, the “When we adjust our sample to reflect November 2024 turnout, Schimel is within one point of Crawford,” is freaking stupid. It won’t be November 2024 turnout and even when you literally had November 2024 turnout the state still reelected Dem Senator Tammy Baldwin, which should tell you Trump’s win was more about Trump himself brainwashing a shit ton of low-info dickheads into voting for him while that Eric Hovde schmuck couldn’t seal the deal with the same people.

Does that mean Susan Crawford has this in the bag? No. But an off-year early spring electorate is not going to resemble last November’s, with or without the outrage against DOGE right now.

Arizona corrections personnel on Wednesday had no issue finding a vein on condemned murderer Aaron Gunches’s arms to place the needles required to inject him with a lethal dose of pentobarbital as punishment for the 2002 murder of Ted Price, an ex of Gunches’s then-girlfriend, resulting in a pretty textbook execution of an execution, the Grand Canyon State’s first since 2022, the Arizona Republican reports in a “Here’s everything you need to know” listicle-type of article.

“What was Aaron Gunches’ last meal? Gunches’ last meal included a double “Western” bacon cheeseburger with fries, a spicy gyro, a barbecue gyro and onion rings, according to an Arizona Department of Corrections spokesperson. For dessert, he had baklava,” says the topmost item on the listicle, getting that out of the way before any other detail like who witnessed it and the condemned’s last words (Gunches only said “no” when asked). Know your audience.

In a very “let them eat cake” moment on Wednesday night, Wyoming MAGA Congresswoman Harriet “I am not George Santos” Hageman responded to a recently fired USDA employee who explained why her job protecting the state’s farmers from drought was so important with “I disagree.”

Just going to let that response speak for itself rather than editorializing here.

Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick’s “Minus Touch” has further tarnished Tesla’s value as the oily bastard’s appearance on Wednesday night’s edition of Fox Newsbro’s Jesse Watters’ show in which he said “I think, if you want to learn something on this show tonight, buy Tesla… It’s unbelievable that this guy’s stock is this cheap. It’ll never be this cheap again. I mean, who wouldn’t invest in Elon Musk? You gotta be kidding me,” took another 1.7 percent off the share price, Axios reports.

Hilariously, Cantor Fitzgerald, the investment bank Lutnick quit to serve in the Trump Regime, now run by his sons, also upgraded the stock to buy, just hours before Howie went on Jesse’s show. Axios does also note that “one of Wall Street’s most bullish Tesla analysts sounded the alarm on the company’s future,” on the same evening. “Lets call it like it is: Tesla is going through a crisis and there is one person who can fix it….Musk,” wrote Wedbush Securities’ Dan Ives wrote in a research note. “As someone who is a core bull and believer in the Telsa long term growth story…..I loudly urge Musk and the Board to step up, stop being silent, and help resolve this crisis forming at Tesla.”

France’s Minister of Higher Education and Research, Philippe Baptiste, tells Le Monde he “learned with concern that a French researcher” on assignment for the French National Center for Scientific Research (CNRS) “who was traveling to a conference near Houston was denied entry to the United States before being expelled. This measure was apparently taken by the American authorities because the researcher’s phone contained exchanges with colleagues and friends in which he expressed a personal opinion on the Trump administration’s research policy.”

Not the best translation job by Google, but the point got across. This is a dictatorship and if Trump can find some way to fuck you for not being MAGA and America First and that shit he will.

Lefty indie paper the Minnesota Reformer took a look at the texts Republican Minnesota State Senator Justin Eichorn sent to an undercover cop posing as a 17 year-old prostitute such as “Qv or hhr,” meaning “quick visit” or “half hour” of sex leads them to conclude that “Eichorn used terminology that suggests he’s fluent in the world of cash-for-sex,” and it wasn’t his first rodeo.

“I watched Jacqui Heinrich from Fox over the weekend and I thought she was absolutely terrible, she should be working for CNN, not Fox. Not surprisingly, I later found out that she’s a fan of the White House Correspondents Association!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Wednesday.

It appears Trump was angered by a bit in which Heinrich questioned whether it was good look for Trump to turn the White House into a Tesla infomercial when so many Americans are struggling.

PACKED house in Viroqua, WI for the town hall in @derrickvanorden’s district.

Derrick was a NO SHOW, but over 300 people in the town of 4500 showed up. Empty seat for him.

Of note: Derrick doesn’t respond to constituents & they don’t like cuts to Medicaid & other programs. pic.twitter.com/91gXYkKJOc

— Mark Pocan (@MarkPocan) March 19, 2025

Russian troll or kool-aid drinker? Wake the F up.

— Mark Pocan (@MarkPocan) March 19, 2025

Former Proud Boys leader Enrique Tarrio will not be charged over an altercation with a counterprotestor outside the Capitol last month, one for which he was immediately arrested, CBS News’s Scott MacFarlane reports without weighing in on whether piece of shit Acting US Attorney Ed Martin intervened and stopped any charges. Going forward that fucker’s guilty until proven innocent every time a Republican walks away from a potential charge in DC.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Guy Reschenthaler, 41, traded in his wife for a younger, more attractive version of her, according to the New York Post’s trashy PageSix section, who writes that Reschenthaler’s now with 32 year-old Fox News digital reporter Brooke Singman.

“Singman met Reschenthaler in October while covering a Donald Trump campaign stop in the swing state, when the candidate famously manned a fry station at a local McDonald’s,” PageSix writes, explaining that Reschenthaler and his wife Jennifer officially separated in November.

“Singman had interviewed the GOP pol for the article, ‘Kamala Harris ‘has become toxic’ for Pennsylvania, top Keystone State lawmaker says.’ However, a source tells us the pair did not start dating until January,” the article continued and yeah fucking right on that last part, lol.

Asked Wednesday by CNN’s Pamela Brown what he would say to “critics” who think the whole “waste, fraud, and abuse” line is just cover to gut Medicaid, House Majority Whip Tom Emmer got really upset with Brown, refusing to answer the question and crying about a “leftist media narrative.”

A chance encounter between Senator Ruben Gallego and legitimate Arizona Governor Kari Lake at a DC club was tinged with some sour grapes and butthurt as Gallego’s handshake was met with Lake asking Gallego “How does it feel to be bought and paid for by the cartels?” the Bulwark reports.

Gallego says he “did try to rub it in” in response to the psychotic former TV anchor. “She essentially said, ‘How could you live with yourself everyday?’ I’m like, ‘Easily: I won,’ and I walked away.”

In an article titled “Second Indiana National Guard deployment to southern border to last longer, cost more” the Indiana Capital Chronicle does well enough in highlighting the cost and pointlessness of the whole exercise but doesn’t get into the question of why this stupid bullshit is still necessary for Hoosier taxpayers to cover the bill for when the whole point of these missions was to make it look like Red States were taking the actions Joe Biden wouldn’t. Otherwise what the hell else was the point of sending 50 guys to Texas to stand around for a goddamned year?