Brazil’s prosecutor general on Tuesday filed charges against disgraced former President Jair Bolsonaro over his failed attempts to remain in power following his humiliating October 2022 defeat to leftist President Luiz Lula, Bloomberg reports. Investigators had previously determined that the pro-Trump dictator had full knowledge of a post-election plot to assassinate Lula, Vice President Geraldo Alckmin, and Supreme Court Justice Alexandre De Moraes.

The decision to move forward with the case now falls on De Moraes. Lucky sons of bitches.

Yeah so this is where you’ll be able to point back to in a couple of days or weeks when there’s a whole flood of media reports and screenshots of Facebook posts and what not where you’ll see Social Security recipients freaking out because their payment didn’t come. A lot of them will say something along the lines of “@realdonaldTrump, I am a full-blown MAGA patriot, I voted for you three times and support you so much but I AM A REAL RECIPIENT! I am NOT one of the illegal scammers stealing from taxpayers! PLEASE tell your DOGE people to make an exception for ME!”

A semi-truck trailer crash on a snowy Oklahoma highway on Tuesday destroyed untold thousands of eggs bound for a Sam’s Club location in the area, the Oklahoman reports on what would never be newsworthy if not for the failures of the Trump Administration to fix the egg supply chain problem.

A Chinese communist military helicopter decided to dare you to making a stereotypical joke about a culture encouraging terrible drivers, flying within 10 ft of a Philippines plane in a disputed area of the South China sea, the AP reports on the kind of shit that was supposed to stop happening now that convicted felon President Trump has been returned to the White House.

WATCH: How did @karolineleavitt become the nation's youngest-ever White House press secretary? @foxnation dives into the backstory of her rapid political rise at an early age in the new special documentary, "Who is Karoline Leavitt?" pic.twitter.com/ztAv2x70JZ

— Fox News (@FoxNews) February 18, 2025

Denise Cheung, the chief of the criminal division in the US Attorney’s office in DC abruptly resigned Tuesday morning in what the New York Times reports was over a refusal to “carry out a directive from the office’s Trump-appointed leadership,” with that “leadership” being MAGA dickhead currently acting US Attorney – and nominee for confirmation to the post – Ed Martin.

Just going to go ahead and speculate that whatever that order was that it’s considerably worse than the SDNY exodus from this whole shitshow with Eric Adams. That the Times doesn’t mention any similarly major, politically-charged cases currently ongoing in DC that the “directive” could’ve been aimed at would suggest that it’s not about purposely fucking off from an existing proceeding but creating a new one to weaponize the justice system against the Orange God Emperor’s enemies.

Or Elon Musk’s. Martin twice this month vowed fanatic loyalty to Ketamine Brain and to pursue charges for those who “doxxed” the incels on the “DOGE” team bricking the federal government.

“On Monday February 17, 2025 at 2135 hours Abington Police and multiple Fire Companies responded to a commercial building fire at SPS technologies, located at 301 Highland Ave Jenkintown. Witness statements indicated that there was an explosion within the building and flames could be seen inside the warehouse structure. The building was immediately evacuated, and all employees are accounted for. There were no reported injuries,” says the Abington, Pennsylvania Police Department in a press release on more chaos in America during the Trump Administration.

“The scene is still active, and all citizens are asked to avoid the area at this time. At the direction of the Abington Fire Marshal, Montgomery County Hazmat Team and the Montgomery County Office of Emergency Management, the Abington School District, Jenkintown School District and all private and parochial schools will be closed on Tuesday, February 18, 2025. Smoke and particulates from this fire is filtering across the area. For this reason, a shelter in place order has been initiated and is currently in effect until this incident is under control. Hazmat crews are continually monitoring air quality in the area and advised that any residence or business within a 1-mile radius of this location remain closed until further notice. Continue to monitor social media and news outlets for updates.”

What does the fire have to do with Trump? Not much if anything. But it just feels like things were better when Joe Biden was president, that major disasters like this just didn’t happen as often. Lots of people feel like things are spinning out of control and Trump is too old and weak to handle it.

Manhattan federal Judge Dale Ho on Tuesday ordered dipshit Mayor Eric Adams and the Trump Regime DOJ to explain what the hell’s going on, setting a status conference for 2 PM Wednesday.

“ORDER as to Eric Adams: The motion to dismiss states that ‘Defendant Eric Adams has consented in writing to this motion,’ but no such document has been provided to the Court. Defendant is therefore ORDERED to file his ‘consent in writing’ on the docket by 5:00 pm ET today. The parties are further ORDERED to appear before the Court for a conference on February 19, 2025, at 2:00 pm in Courtroom 318 of the Thurgood Marshall Courthouse, 40 Foley Square, New York, NY. The parties shall be prepared to address, inter alia, the reasons for the Government’s motion, the scope and effect of Mayor Adams’s ‘consent in writing,’ ECF No. 122 at 1, and the procedure for resolution of the motion. SO ORDERED,” wrote Ho, evidently not a small amount pissed over the fuckery afoot.

In related news, hitting the docket on Tuesday is the February 3rd letter from Adams’s lawyers to scumbag Trump DOJ enforcer Emil Bove in which they first proposed the quid pro quo. “There is a reason that the Justice Department does not prosecute sitting presidents, and while a mayor is not a president, Mayor Adams is nonetheless the leader of this country’s largest city and needs to be an important partner to the President and his administration. An honest balancing of these concerns against the unsupported prosecution theories in this case militates strongly in favor of dismissal. A Justice Department driven purely by the rule of law never would have authorized this prosecution in the first place,” dishonest cocksucker defense counsel Alex Spiro wrote to Bove.

More related news: Former Watergate prosecutor Nick Akerman on Monday sent an unsolicited letter to Judge Ho imploring him to reject the dismissal bid and instead appoint a special prosecutor to continue the case against Adams, citing some 1987 Louis Vuitton counterfeit case as precedent.

Italian-born Florida anti-vax freak Ivan Mariotti, whose previous claim to fame was getting arrested for impersonating a security guard after infiltrating a Taylor Swift concert at Hard Rock Stadium in October 2024, is in deeper shit this time, now being held by ICE after an early Sunday incident in which he fled a traffic stop on his scooter that had been initiated by a Miami-Dade County sheriff’s deputy, was chased on foot into the lobby of his condo building on Key Biscayne, and then proceeded to assault the cop and tried to steal his gun during the fight, Local10.com reports.

Mariotti, whose Facebook profile is almost entirely COVID conspiracy fan fiction – the lone exception apparently some shit about RFID chips being secretly implanted in people – faces charges of battery on an officer, depriving an officer of a means of protection, evidence tampering, and resisting arrest as well as the original traffic citations he had been pulled over for. “Jail records show he was behind bars at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center on a $13,000 bond and an Immigration and Customs Enforcement hold,” says Local10’s article, but who knows what the next steps are on deportation when the asshole also faces six felonies. Probably has to do the time first.

More CorpMedia sob stories from fired federal workers.

Sorry, we voted to drain the swamp, so stand clear of the swamp for a while! If your services are truly needed, your position will come back. pic.twitter.com/ci11kjYD5S

— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) February 18, 2025

This is just weird. Of course the idea is to tell MAGA assholes what to think, that it’s all just a corporate media propaganda op trying to make them feel angry for a Navy veteran now out of a job simply because she had transferred laterally at the wrong time. It’s just you’d think Breitbart maybe would try to be more subtle about it. The “we’re going to have to suck it up, it’s really going to get tough. They will tug at our emotions. Stand strong, America! It’s for the greater good,” line of defense needs better workshopping than this. At the very least don’t literally fucking say “sorry.”

An Argentinian federal judge on Monday opened an investigation into batshit libertarian President Javier Milei after receiving a complaint against the “mini-Trump” alleging a crypto “rug pull” in which he had posted a tweet promoting the $LIBRA coin causing its value to skyrocket only to delete it hours later which then, naturally, had the opposite effect, the Associated Press reports.

Following the complaint Milei tried to distance himself from the mess. “I have nothing to hide and I have no problem coming forward and showing my face,” the crazy asshole said Monday in an interview with the Todo Noticias channel. “Those who entered there voluntarily knew what they were getting into,” he added. “As volatility traders, they understood the risks involved.”

Maybe he’s got a point there, that crypto traders should be aware that the value of an imaginary fiat is based upon nothing other than the machinations of the nihilistic pieces of shit enriching themselves by fucking over investors. Guys like Milei, Donald Trump, Sam Bankrupt-Fried, etc.

In a statement dropping on Monday night, New York Gov Kathy Hochul said Tuesday’s the day she’ll make the decision on whether to remove Trump asset NYC Mayor Eric Adams from office.

“I recognize the immense responsibility I hold as governor and the constitutional powers granted to this office. In the 235 years of New York State history, these powers have never been utilized to remove a duly-elected mayor; overturning the will of the voters is a serious step that should not be taken lightly. That said, the alleged conduct at City Hall that has been reported over the past two weeks is troubling and cannot be ignored. Tomorrow, I have asked key leaders to meet me at my Manhattan office for a conversation about the path forward, with the goal of ensuring stability for the City of New York,” said Hochul in the very trial-balloon-y sounding statement

“Let me be clear: my most urgent concern is the well-being of my 8.3 million constituents who live in New York City. I will be monitoring this situation extraordinarily closely to ensure that New Yorkers are not being shortchanged by the current crisis in City government.”

Tonight, I’m announcing a nationwide and international multimillion-dollar ad campaign warning illegal aliens to leave our country NOW or face deportation with the inability to return to the US. This serves as a strong warning to criminal illegal aliens to not come to America. If… pic.twitter.com/VcVgJYfSKR

— Secretary Kristi Noem (@Sec_Noem) February 18, 2025

You hear that amigos? Leave NOW or you’ll be deported! She’s serious about this! You’ll be so sorry if you don’t go back to Mexico or the other countries that are next to Mexico! Pack your stuff and get out or you’re going to get kicked out! No more screwing around! GET OUT OR ELSE!

For the crime of telling a Vanity Fair reporter that Third Son Barron Trump is “sort of like an oddity on campus. He goes to class, he goes home” as she expressed sympathy for him being deprived of a more normal experience at the school, NYU College Republicans chapter President Kaya Walker was ceremoniously removed from her position by the organization’s national leadership on Monday.

Said the national orgnaization in a statement: “We have been made aware of a statement made by the NYU chapter President that does not align with the values and principles upheld by our organization. Though Vanity Fair and The Independent unfairly framed what was said, upon review, we still found it to be inappropriate. The NYU chapter President submitted her resignation last night.”

“We are collaborating closely with the NYU chapter to ensure a smooth transition in leadership. Our goal is to reaffirm CRA’s dedication to the ideals of the Republican Party and conservative movement in a manner that reflects honorably upon our organization and its mission,” the statement continued before going into some masturbatory self-congratulating about their support for the Orange God Emperor. The statement ended with this: “In response to these developments, CRA President Will Donahue is extending an invitation to join CRA to the President’s son. ‘Barron Trump represents the future of the conservative movement, and we would be honored to have him join College Republicans of America,’ Donahue said. ‘Strong leadership is built on resilience, courage, and the humility to rise above petty hostility – qualities that Barron has already demonstrated. We invite Barron to join us in shaping the future of our party.'” Ughhhhhhhh man that’s fucking pathetic.

Immediately before the “oddity” quote from Walker the VF reporter wrote “Barron’s classmates described his day-to-day comings and goings to me as limited. One remembered asking to play basketball with him. Barron seemed interested, he said, but he got the sense that, with plainclothes Secret Service officers hovering, ‘he wasn’t really allowed to do stuff.'” Can’t wait for the reporting about Donahue flying to NYC and throwing a big ceremony that Barron doesn’t even show up to.

“With a suite of NASA science and technology on board, Firefly Aerospace is targeting no earlier than 3:45 am EST on Sunday, March 2, to land the Blue Ghost lunar lander on the Moon. Blue Ghost is slated to touch down near Mare Crisium, a plain in the northeast quadrant on the near side of the Moon, as part of NASA’s CLPS (Commercial Lunar Payload Services) initiative and Artemis campaign to establish a long-term lunar presence. Live coverage of the landing, jointly hosted by NASA and Firefly, will air on NASA+ starting at 2:30 am EST, approximately 75 minutes before touchdown on the Moon’s surface. Learn how to watch NASA content through a variety of platforms, including social media. The broadcast will also stream on Firefly’s YouTube channel. Coverage will include live streaming and blog updates as the descent milestones occur,” says NASA in a press release.

Who the hell planned this landing time? “Hey I bet right when all the Gen Zers come home from the bar and are spilling cheap marinara sauce on the floor and are trying to find the lighter that’s on the coffee table in front of them so they can smoke a shittily-rolled joint is when they’ll remember to flip on NASA+ to watch our landing. Let’s hope so since every other demographic will be asleep.”

And yes, obviously that time was chosen because it’s the optimum landing window due to the position of the Moon’s orbit and the Earth’s rotation and so on but this isn’t friggin Mars. The lunar cycle is 29.5 days long. Making flight engineers and all the other people work overnight on a Saturday is ridiculous and brings unnecessary risks of mistakes in landing adjustments and what not.

Advocating murder of the President is a serious crime and they have the gall to do so on President’s Day!

Letting @EagleEdMartin know about this.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 17, 2025

A Delta Airlines commuter-ish jet inbound from Minneapolis with at least 80 passengers on board crashed and flipped at Toronto Pearson Airport on Monday, miraculously only eight people were injured, CBS News reports. Not sure how much blame can go to Trump’s FAA purge here.

A Jewish Florida man faces two counts of attempted murder after telling cops he “he saw two Palestinians and shot and killed both” as he was being arrested on Saturday, shortly after he had pointed a semi-automatic handgun at a passing vehicle and fired 17 rounds into it, NBC 6 reports.

The local story does make mention that the two men that 27 year-old Mordechai Brafman – a fan of far right Israeli militant account “thejewishmarksman” on Instagram – fired at not only survived with relatively minor wounds but were able to drive themselves to a hospital to get treatment.

Missing though is a pretty crucial detail, something else Brafman got wrong: They’re not Palestinian.

What’s funny in a really sick and twisted way too is that, per the Times of Israel, victim Ari Rabey and his unnamed father may have been under the impression that Brafman was a Palestinian (or maybe a MAGA Neo-Nazi), writing “Dear Jews, we are in Miami, they tried to murder us on a nationalist reasons. My father was in a car yesterday in the Pearl Arbor neighborhood. They shot me and my father in the car. 12 bullets hit me. My father and I are here in a hospital in Miami. My father is anxious and afraid. We need your help. Chabad Jews. Please help us. We don’t know anything. Save them,” per a Google translation of Rabey’s Facebook post. Which was in Hebrew and he did not appear to be aware that it was another Jew who shot him. Welcome to Florida kid!

New York City First Deputy Mayor Maria Torres-Springer, Deputy Mayor for Operations Meera Joshi, Deputy Mayor for Health and Human Services Anne Williams-Isom, and Deputy Mayor for Communications Fabien Levy are all planning to resign to protest asshole Mayor Eric Adams’s sale of his soul to the Satanic forces of the MAGA Reich, the New York Daily News reports.

The first three had planned to announce and effect their departures this week then held off to do it in a more controlled manner, but sources stressed that it was a matter of “when not if” they quit.

“Levy didn’t return calls and texts Monday,” the Daily News writes. Some communications guy, lol.

Yes dummy. I think there’s a difference between not giving a reporter a seat in the WH press briefing room and jailing people for dissenting views. The latter is a threat to free speech, the former is not. Hope that helps!

— JD Vance (@JDVance) February 17, 2025