“I just spoke with President Claudia Sheinbaum of Mexico. It was a very friendly conversation wherein she agreed to immediately supply 10,000 Mexican Soldiers on the Border separating Mexico and the United States. These soldiers will be specifically designated to stop the flow of fentanyl, and illegal migrants into our Country. We further agreed to immediately pause the anticipated tariffs for a one month period during which we will have negotiations headed by Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Secretary of Treasury Scott Bessent, and Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick, and high-level Representatives of Mexico. I look forward to participating in those negotiations, with President Sheinbaum, as we attempt to achieve a ‘deal’ between our two Countries” posted the fat bastard on Monday, completely caving for a meaningless concession almost immediately into his “trade war.”

Was just thinking about how all the conditions are right for QAnon to make a roaring comeback and soon – and then here’s MAGA Congresswoman Carol Miller going a hell of a long way to help make that point on her own. Still going to write that article, even if this dipshit kinda spoiled it.

“Canada doesn’t even allow US Banks to open or do business there. What’s that all about? Many such things, but it’s also a DRUG WAR, and hundreds of thousands of people have died in the US from drugs pouring through the Borders of Mexico and Canada. Just spoke to Justin Trudeau. Will be speaking to him again at 3:00 PM,” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday.

Of course after 3 PM when Trudeau says he’ll either sign an order opening up the Canadian market to US banks or pledge to have parliament do so (if Trump is not delusional about this, because who knows) and sign off on extraditing a couple of token fentanyl traffickers, then Trump will say he’s not budging on tariffs because the Canadian government requires truckers to be vaccinated for COVID-19. Then it’ll be something about their schools not teaching enough about how dependent Canada is on the US economically or that the government has affirmative action policies in hiring.

And so on and so forth until a few weeks go by and everyone’s fucking pissed at Trump because this and that is more expensive, these businesses dependent on the Canadian market have been destroyed, then Trump will find some bullshit way to declare victory and end the tariffs. Nothing whatsoever will have been accomplished except for ruined lives and businesses, a frayed bilateral relationship, and Trump’s approval rating back to where it was in late 2019/early 2020.

Remember how practically every fucking day for the last four years the MAGA propaganda-industrial complex would scream about how the Biden Administration would be arresting illegal immigrants but then releasing them from custody? NBC News reports it’s still happening and an ICE spokesperson even acknowledged it, saying “The agency’s federal law enforcement officers do everything they can to keep our communities safe. In some cases, ICE is required to release certain arrested aliens from custody.” How many campaign promises is this now that the Orange Allah failed to deliver on?

Knowing full well that, due to Republican dysfunction, they hold all the cards to passing bills funding the government ahead of the March 14th CR expiry and – more importantly – to handling the debt ceiling before June, Democrats are drawing up a lengthy ransom demanding serious concessions from convicted felon President Trump, Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson, and Senate Majority Leader John Thune to keep what’s left of the federal government open, Punchbowl News reports.

A senior House Dem aide said “The things they are doing play to their base – they are not putting pressure on us to cooperate,” and that shit like this tariff dumbassery, giving ketamine-brained psychopath Elon Musk unilateral authority to shut down any and every flow of cash from the Treasury, and pulling the plug on immigration parole for 530,000 Venezuelan refugees for essentially no fucking reason whatsover “increase our needs, which makes coming together harder. We could get to a tipping point where bipartisan cooperation becomes an overwhelming negative for us.”

“Democrats are, as always, committed to responsibly funding the government, but it is extremely difficult to reach an agreement on toplines – much less full-year spending bills – when the president is illegally blocking vast chunks of approved funding, when he is trying to unilaterally shutter critical agencies, and when an unelected billionaire is empowered to force his way into our government’s central, highly-sensitive payments system. Democrats and Republicans alike must be able to trust that when a deal gets signed into law, it will be followed,” said Washington enator Patty Murray.

At the end of a lengthy rundown of how Trade War I is going, the New York Times writes “One Canadian province took a more targeted approach, singling out areas of the United States where support for Mr Trump’s policies has been especially strong. In British Columbia, the premier, David Eby, announced that the province would stop sales of alcohol produced in ‘red states.'”

You may have noticed this is like verbatim, the same shit the fat bastard said on Friday when asked about his tariffs, and then again this morning in a Truth Social post, but the fact that he’s repeating it says a lot about how he’s going to handle it when the low-info egg price voters really start freaking the fuck out: That this isn’t happening, paying more for the same shit is patriotic, so on and so forth.

Again, not like anyone’s going to care that this is being pointed out, but try to imagine the reaction if Joe Biden was so directly dismissive of voters’ rage over inflation two-three years ago.

“Anybody that’s against Tariffs, including the Fake News Wall Street Journal, and Hedge Funds, is only against them because these people or entities are controlled by China, or other foreign or domestic companies. Anybody that loves and believes in the United States of America is in favor of Tariffs. They should have never ended, in favor of the Income Tax System, in 1913. The response to Tariffs has been FANTASTIC!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, still furious any puny mortals would dare question his infinite wisdom about increasing prices on Americans.

Meanwhile Dow futures are down 520 points as of press time in the actual response to the tariffs.

Officials on the Greek island of Santorini have ordered schools to stay closed Monday, rescue teams with sniffer dogs on call, swimming pools emptied for some reason, and for locals to stay the hell away from any cliffs on Sunday after a swarm of more than 200 earthquakes – the strongest a 4.6 magnitude at 3:55 pm local time this afternoon – have rocked the southern Aegean region since Friday, the AP reports on some rumbling under the site of a freaking apocalyptic volcanic eruption believed to have occurred circa 1600 BC that wiped out the Minoan city of Akrotiri.

The AP’s article says “earthquake experts say the more than 200 tremors that have hit the area since early Friday are not related to the volcano in Santorini, which once produced one of the biggest eruptions in human history,” which seems a little incongruous with past events elsewhere, even if the depth of that 4.6 magnitude was 14 kilometers when magma-driven tremors tend to be shallower. Like how often does a volcanic caldera get hit with 200 quakes in three days but it has nothing to do with the volcano itself? Moreover, what seismically active area that isn’t also volcanically active can have a swarm like that? Natural seismicity. Oklahoma doesn’t count.

In a really ass-backwards way MAGA Missouri Senator Eric Schmitt on Sunday essentially admitted that convicted felon President Trump is mentally non-functional and just spews complete fucking nonsense at inappropriate times. Like if you really listen carefully and follow through it’s hard to come to any other conclusion about how Schmitt tried to walk the tightrope between admitting there’s no evidence “DEI” played a role in the American Eagle Flight 5342-US Army Blackhawk collision on Wednesday and that DEI is potentially a danger because military recruiting is down, therefore Trump was highlighting the dangers of DEI in response to a horrible tragedy that had nothing to do with it. He did not say Trump was right to do so, or make any real effort to defend it.

Therefore Schmitt very carefully and subtly acknowledged that his Orange Allah is an unfit failure.

Allegedly prescient groundhogs Punxsutawney Phil and Staten Island Chuck on Sunday made conflicting predictions on how much longer the winter of 2024-2025 was going to last, with the former predicting another six weeks of cold and the latter determining spring would arrive early, according to the National Weather Service’s New York office, which rates Chuck’s track record as 85 percent accurate to Phil’s 35 percent. What’s not clear is whether this is locally skewed – as in it wouldn’t be really that unbelievable for it to be 57 degrees and sunny in NUC while a blizzard dumps three feet of snow on central Pennsylvania in late February, thus both rodents would be “right.”

In conclusion Groundhog Day is stupid. The movie is pretty good though.

Drug-addicted white nationalist billionaire Elon Musk’s lawyers on Saturday amended an existing lawsuit against the World Federation of Advertisers, CVS, and Twitch to add Lego, Nestlé, Tyson Foods, Abbott Laboratories, Colgate-Palmolive, Pinterest, and Shell International, as defendants in a federal complaint filed to essentially punish the corporate brands for not buying ad space on a social media platform that Musk ruined by allowing Neo-Nazis to run rampant, NPR reports.

“Collective action among competing advertisers to dictate brand safety standards to be applied by social media platforms shortcuts the competitive process and allows the collective views of a group of advertisers with market power to override the interests of consumer,” the original complaint said, evidently using the imprimatur of principled opposition to monopolies to push this horseshit.

“Last year, following the suit, the World Federation of Advertisers discontinued [its Global Alliance for Responsible Media] operations, explaining that ‘recent allegations that unfortunately misconstrue its purpose and activities have caused a distraction and significantly drained its resources and finances,'” NPR writes, explaining that they’ve already capitulated at least partially and yet Ketamine Brain continues adding defendants. Whether this goes the same way that convicted felon President Trump’s complaints against ABC News and Facebook did – and the way the one against CBS News reportedly is is about to go – remains to be seen. Maybe that there are so many increases the chances one will simply say “Alright, enough of this bullshit.” Hopefully that’s Lego, both in track with Danish refusal to capitulate to the MAGA Reich on the matter of Greenland, and that it’ll create room for a “Musk steps on Lego barefoot”-type headline. Everything would be awesome then.

Former MTV The Real World cast member-turned-elected member of Congress-turned-US Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy on Sunday refused to divulge to CNN’s Jake Tapper the evidence that a massive fifth column of DEI saboteurs had infiltrated the nation’s air traffic control system. Have George Soros and other malefactors gotten to Duffy too? Discuss in the comments.

Later in a separate appearance on Fox News Sunday, Duffy suggested things like “changing names from ‘cockpit’ to ‘flightdeck'” made the nation’s aviation industry less safe.

“The ‘Tariff Lobby,’ headed by the Globalist, and always wrong, Wall Street Journal, is working hard to justify Countries like Canada, Mexico, China, and too many others to name, continue the decades long RIPOFF OF AMERICA, both with regard to TRADE, CRIME, AND POISONOUS DRUGS that are allowed to so freely flow into AMERICA. THOSE DAYS ARE OVER! The USA has major deficits with Canada, Mexico, and China (and almost all countries!), owes 36 Trillion Dollars, and we’re not going to be the ‘Stupid Country’ any longer. MAKE YOUR PRODUCT IN THE USA AND THERE ARE NO TARIFFS! Why should the United States lose TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN SUBSIDIZING OTHER COUNTRIES, and why should these other countries pay a small fraction of the cost of what USA citizens pay for Drugs and Pharmaceuticals, as an example? THIS WILL BE THE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA! WILL THERE BE SOME PAIN? YES, MAYBE (AND MAYBE NOT!). BUT WE WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AND IT WILL ALL BE WORTH THE PRICE THAT MUST BE PAID. WE ARE A COUNTRY THAT IS NOW BEING RUN WITH COMMON SENSE – AND THE RESULTS WILL BE SPECTACULAR!!!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Sunday, emphasis added on “pain.”

“We pay hundreds of Billions of Dollars to SUBSIDIZE Canada. Why? There is no reason. We don’t need anything they have. We have unlimited Energy, should make our own Cars, and have more Lumber than we can ever use. Without this massive subsidy, Canada ceases to exist as a viable Country. Harsh but true! Therefore, Canada should become our Cherished 51st State. Much lower taxes, and far better military protection for the people of Canada – AND NO TARIFFS!” the fat bastard continued with his imperial fantasies in another stupid Truth Social post.

Former Vice President Kamala Harris apparently played the DNC leadership race smartly on Saturday, according to Politico, who writes that as she avoided “putting her thumb on the scale in a close race” between Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Hakeem Jeffries-backed Wisconsin Dem chair Ben Wikler and winner Minnesota chair Ken Martin. Rather than picking a horse, Harris had instead called each one of the top three and said she looked forward to working with them.

“But the real good news for Harris appeared to come in the wellspring of goodwill she seemed to enjoy on Saturday among the party faithful. During the meeting, Biden and Harris each delivered pre-recorded video messages to DNC members. And Harris’ appearance drew louder cheers than Biden’s,” the article continues, seemingly hinting that Harris is positioning herself to lead the party just as Trump did the GOP for the entire time Biden was in office (the difference of course being that Harris isn’t going to act like she’s still the rightful president and get indicted six times).

All this time, they kept the water from the people of California … https://t.co/I7MzrvNM4n

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 1, 2025

In the real world the Los Angeles Times reports that the release of water from the two reservoirs by the Army Corps of Engineers nearly flooded a shit ton of farmland, will end up flowing nowhere near Los Angeles since it can’t go over fucking mountain ranges, and – according to Congressman Ted Lieu – could jeopardize crops by depleting reservoirs needed for the summer.

Oh and the Palisades and Eaton Fires were, as of Friday, 100 percent contained, finally. So three weeks after the hydrants ran out in a situation that had completely overwhelmed the system and nothing short of an act of God would have been able to stop the flames from consuming everything in their path, the water infrastructure that does not lead to those hydrants but national security-level important farmland highly susceptible to drought was opened up on the orders of a president who apparanely believes that gravity works in a north-south direction and that water from Central California would make it to Los Angeles. That $18 Big Mac meal in Connecticut though.

The Trump Regime is finalizing paperwork to revoke the parole of more than 530,000 migrants from Nicaragua, Cuba, Venezuela, and Haiti who arrived since 2021 and were permitted to live and work in the United States, CNN reports on more low-effort “mass deportation” programming.

They already have all the names and addresses of these people. It takes no actual work to track them down and round them up, unless they go into hiding elsewhere, which many surely will once the word gets out that they’re no longer permitted to be in the country. All of these people have been screen, vetted, vaccinated, and undoubtedly most of working age are legally employed.

So really it does nothing except make it look like Trump is removing “illegals” when the hard work of arresting the large number of them who were actually here legally who will disperse and go underground will take years and probably never actually be fully complete. It’s just making their lives harder, which is good enough for the dipshits who will defend it as another huge victory for Trump.

“It is so good to have the Venezuela Hostages back home and, very important to note, that Venezuela has agreed to receive, back into their Country, all Venezuela illegal aliens who were encamped in the US, including gang members of Tren de Aragua. Venezuela has further agreed to supply the transportation back. We are in the process of removing record numbers of illegal aliens from all Countries, and all Countries have agreed to accept these illegal aliens back. Furthermore, record numbers of criminals are being removed from our Country, and the Border numbers are the strongest they have been since the First Term of the Trump Administration!” the fat fuck posted on Truth Social just now, the absence of any actual numbers only helping to make the point here.

Lawmakers in the Dem-majority New York state Assembly are hammering out a bill that could give Governor Kathy Hochul more time to set dates for special elections, Gothamist reports on a move that would have the immediate consequence of cramping Jesus Dork House Speaker Mike Johnson’s already tiny majority by dragging out the vacancy in the state’s 21st District left by shrill monster Congresswoman Elise Stefanik’s pending departure for the United Nations ambassadorship.

Under the current law, the governor must proclaim a special election within 10 days of a vacancy and the special must be held within 70 to 80 days after the proclamation. Stefanik advanced out of the Senate Foreign Relations committee on Thursday, so assuming the final confirmation vote is this week it’d be early May when the R+9 district would send a different far right asshole to Congress. As soon as Monday however, that could change as New York Dems are looking at pushing it to at the earliest June or even November under a patina of making it more cost efficient.

A Hochul spokesperson told Gothamist the gov “believes it’s critical to increase voter turnout and reduce the cost of election administration and she would support legislation that achieves that goal.”

Florida Gov Ron DeSantis meanwhile set the special elections to replace National Security Advisor Mike Waltz and non-Attorney General Matt Gaetz for April 1st. When Dem Congressman Alcee Hastings died on April 6, 2021 DeSantis set the special in the D+25 district for January 18, 2022.

In yet another corporate capitulation to MAGA, fast food giant McDonald’s on Friday agreed to settle a lawsuit brought by some obsessed right wing activist cock knob against its Latino student scholarship program, removing the requirement that applicants had been born to at least one parent of Hispanic heritage and opening it up to all who can “demonstrate their impact and contribution to the Hispanic and Latino community through their activities and leadership,” Reuters reports.

American Alliance for Equal Rights, led by anti-DEI wiener Edward Blum, informed a Nashville federal judge on Friday they had agreed to withdraw from the case after the McSettlement. “It is a shame that over many years thousands of students were shut out of this program because they were not the preferred ethnicity,” said Blum, deploying the circular logic that remedies to the discriminatory conditions of the past are somehow in and of themselves discriminatory to Caucasians.

McDonald’s in a statement said it disagreed with the merits but “reached the conclusion that settling this lawsuit and evolving the program is the right thing to do for its recipients.” Whatever.

The seminally concert documentary classic The Last Waltz could not be ignored as long as there are still some halfway decent non-R-rated movies worth propagating from YouTube.