Sources tell CBS News that the report on former Congressbro Matt Gaetz’s hard partying, statutory raping lifestyle will be released to the public by the House Ethics Committee on Monday.

Jittery Wall Street traders should remember that the alternative to Donald Trump’s economic plans was Kamala Harris’ devastating socialism https://t.co/on9vY7TsRR pic.twitter.com/NntkDRFV11

— New York Post (@nypost) December 21, 2024

You got that Wall Street? Get over your jitters and think about what could have been if Trump hadn’t won last month. Stop selling, start buying, don’t fuck this up. America First doesn’t care that you’re nervous over tariffs and government funding. You should be grateful that the Trump economy of 2017 to 2019 is coming back and not four more years of Biden-Harris socialism. The fact she didn’t win should be worth like 10,000 points on the Dow alone and you globalists are getting “jittery.”

Shut the fuck up and start making middle class Americans feel richer. Now. Otherwise you’re going to be very sorry you ever messed with Trump. Record shattering consumer confidence, GDP through the roof, unemployment lowest in history, just amazing incredible numbers. Now. Americans don’t care about your stupid bullshit “risk” and “uncertainty.” And if you even THINK about muttering the word “recession” Kash Patel will personally pick your new roommate based on his endowment.

None will be under 10/2 inches in length/girth. Consider this your official notice, Wall Street.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage now that we’ve expanded the New York Post’s message to the financial industry to its natural conclusion. We hope they’re quivering in fear.

“Adolph Hitler, once the demi-god of the reactionary extremists, was released on parole from Imprisonment at Fortress Landsberg, Bavaria, today and immediately left in an auto for Munich. He looked a much sadder and wiser man today than last Spring when he, with Ludendorff and other radical extremists, appeared before a Munich court charged with conspiracy to overthrow the Government. His behavior during imprisonment convinced the authorities that, like his political organization, known as the Völkischer, was no longer to be feared. It is believed he will retire to private life and return to Austria, the country of his birth,” the New York Times reported on December 21st, 1924, confident in the belief that the rabble-rousing art school reject with iconic facial hair had recognized the error of his ways. Too bad they didn’t have more room for the newsbrief to speculate on what kind of private life the bachelor would pursue back home, like if he would open up a boutique lederhosen shop or maybe a chocolatier called “Heil Fudger!”

Still great to see Times at it a century later, using a delicate but deft hand in carrying latest on the exploits of similarly unique and iconic political figures with intensely dedicated supporters.

The Saudi-born man arrested for Friday’s vehicular attack on a Christmas market in Magdeburg, Germany was – somewhat surprisingly – not an agent or freelancer for ISIS, Al-Qaeda, or any other terrorist movement but in fact described himself online as a former Muslim and posted support for the country’s Reich-y far right nationalist party, the Alternative for Germany (AfD), the AP reports.

The man, identified by local media only as Taleb A due to German privacy laws and described as having worked in either psychology or psychiatry, is a prolific tweeter who posted or shared dozens of anti-Islamic tweets a day and constantly accused German officials of failing to push back on what he called the “Islamism of Europe,” up until the attack that killed four and injured dozens.

British-based think tanker Peter Neumann, an expert on terrorism in modern Germany, was shocked by Taleb’s flip, tweeting “After 25 years in this ‘business’ you think nothing could surprise you anymore. But a 50 year-old Saudi ex-Muslim who lives in East Germany, loves the AfD and wants to punish Germany for its tolerance towards Islamists – that really wasn’t on my radar.”

Is it really that surprising though? Not just in the way that a Saudi-born extremist simply wore a different jersey to his cowardly act of savagery toward civilians but, from an American perspective after seeing so many members of non-MAGA demographics and political/cultural stripes put on their red hats – like literally the natural-born children of illegal immigrants among them – gravitating toward the far right and its orange-skinned leader for whatever stupid reasons, not especially.

Having seen a Bay Area hippie get Q-pilled and smash in Nancy Pelosi’s husband’s head in the name of Trump, Taleb’s path to mass murder is somewhat surprising in the context that it seems he’s probably the first modern German Muslim to Nazi convert, but far short of a black swan overall.

Let’s try a different Friday night open thread format, shall we? And if this doesn’t work we can always try something different than this. Edge of Tomorrow (and not Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow. That was the goddamned marketing tagline, not the name of the movie) is both the best video game movie of all time and – unlike Resident Evil, Super Mario Bros, Mortal Kombat, etc, is not at all based on an actual video game. It’s a freaking classic – Groundhog Day crossed with Independence Day – and it’s amazing for it to be available for free on YouTube in full streaming quality, no bootleg foreign rip or some asshole taping the screen, but the real deal.

Elon Musk subordinate Donald Trump is “NOT happy that the spending deal doesn’t include the debt ceiling,” Politico’s Burgess Everett reports, citing a source close to the fat bastard, adding that it’s not clear yet whether Trump will try to kill the bill in the Senate, which he’d have to do very quickly.

The US House of Representatives on Friday unfucked the situation President-Elect Elon Musk forced upon them, reaching the 2/3rds threshold to keep the government’s lights on through Christmas.

At least 31 Republicans and – as of this printing – 0 Dems voted no on the funding package.

The official page of ⁦@TheDemocrats⁩ tweeted this today.

They are now calling Elon Musk “President Musk” because they believe that Elon Musk is now more powerful than President Trump.

They think Trump is Elon’s “puppet”.

That’s what the Dems are now organizing around. pic.twitter.com/8G4IYVormc

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) December 20, 2024

Remember that old “Over the target” trope mentioned earlier today? This is “Over the target.” When MAGAlyn Manson is complaining and acting offended – this racist freak said the White House would smell like curry if Kamala Harris had been elected – and she’s offended. That’s great.

IT’S A TOTAL WITCH HUNT! Zambian President Hakainde Hichilema’s regime have arrested two men allegedly hired by Nelson Banda, the younger brother of fugitive lawmaker Jay Banda, on charges practicing witchcraft, possession of charms, and cruelty to animals in rituals meant to cast a dark spell over Hichilema, the Associated Press reports on a third world politically biased investigation.

Suspects Jasten Mabulesse Candunde, 42, and Leonard Phiri, 43, “were found in possession of assorted charms, including a live chameleon, and are alleged to be practicing witch doctors,” said Zambian Federal Police spokesman Rae Hamoonga, adding that their purported mission “was to use charms to harm the Head of State, His Excellency President Hakainde Hichilema.”

In all seriousness Hichilema has put up with a lot of bullshit since taking office in 2021, mostly led by his corrupt predecessor, Edgar Lungu. Not saying the Hichilema’s definitely a saint, he could be just as corrupt and/or despotic, but if you judge him solely by his enemies – and the fact that these clowns were resorting to fucking witchcraft to take him down – well maybe he is a good leader.

Though if he wants to take the country forward then maybe he should order prosecutors to drop the witchcraft charges and stick solely to the cruelty to animals rap. Don’t take that shit seriously.

The government funding bill titled the “American Relief Act, 2025” but missing a House Resolution (HR) number dropped on Friday, 118 pages long with under an hour before the big vote. Maybe members will pass it just so they can go home for Christmas, maybe enough will say “fuck you, no.”

It’s a Mike Johnson sold us out again bill.

— Gunther Eagleman™ (@GuntherEagleman) December 20, 2024

The same spending bill that collapsed on Thursday – minus the debt limit increase – will be coming up for a vote on Friday evening, just hours before the government will shut down. Naturally all the fanboys – and their non-celibate, drug addicted god – are fucking pissed. Let’s see if they have enough time to tank it. Took them the better part of a day last time, but they’re ready now.

At least one person is dead – reliable-ish Eastern European Twitter newsfeed Visegrad 24 puts it at 11 dead – and 60 to 80 people have been injured when a car by all appearances purposely sped into the crowd at a Christmas market in the German city of Magdeburg on Friday, Sky News reports

“The police have put out a statement saying there’s an extensive police operation that’s going on and they haven’t officially said yet whether this is terror,” said Sky Euro correspondent Siobhan Robbins, adding “That of course will be something that a lot of people will be asking. There has been a warning for Christmas markets across Europe to be on high alert for possible terror attacks.”

A man was arrested at the scene. That the deadly attack – which bears a lot of similarities to past Islamic terrorist attacks in Europe – comes just days after Germany’s governing coalition collapsed amid an ongoing surge by the Fourth Reich AfD party and hours after shithead Elon Musk said the anti-immigrant extremists were destined to save Germany is not a good sign for democracy there.

Buried down in CNN’s reporting on the immediate demise of Party City – like all 800 stores nationwide, which may or may not have their doors open as of this very moment – is a slightly ambiguous but pretty damning detail about the end which we’ll just copy verbatim from the article:

“The news of the company’s impending collapse began to trickle out among the company’s corporate staff over the past couple weeks. Party City’s product development team was recalled two weeks ago from its yearly trip with vendors and told to return home immediately, according to a former Party City corporate office employee, who wished to remain anonymous because they were not authorized to speak to the media. The team was told the company believed the trip posed a safety risk, because Party City had stopped paying its suppliers,” CNN writes, emphasis ours.

It’s fairly but not 100 percent clear given the flow of the story that the leaks were the main reason for the pullback, that the vendor reps, knowing that Party City was about to shutter and would never pay them whatever was owed, were a safety risk. Or they didn’t know it and were still fucking pissed enough to be a safety risk. Either way that’s a pretty stark sign of how bad it must’ve gotten.

Still, were they buying piñatas from a front for the Sinaloa Cartel? Paper plates and cups from the Chinese Communist Party? More seriously, what rep from a normal manufacturer of retail party goods and Halloween costumes would assault a product development rep from freaking Party City over the company failing to pay invoices? Someone’s gotta pin the tail on the donkey here, fill in some more details about this oddly tantalizing angle to a larger, more tragic story.

“They are saying that because they have never managed anything. A good Manager surrounds himself with capable people gives them an assignment and let’s them do their job. Musk analyzed Twitter and fired 80 percent of the workforce and it’s still up and running. The Federal Government is about to get smaller and more efficient” – Top comment on the Fox News article “Democrats, media allies push talking point that Elon Musk is truly incoming president instead of Trump,” posted Friday.

Mildest of props to the commenter for not trotting out the old “Must be over the target” line, a lesser fanboy would’ve walked himself right into that one. If the headline said “Democrats, media allies warn Musk is a threat to the entire federal workforce,” then they would be bombs away with that tired line. Here it would’ve just looked like confirming that Musk outranks Trump. Instead this guy handles it more like a 12 year-old girl who didn’t make the middle school cheerleading squad, dismissing the coaches and those mean bitches who did make it as the actual losers here.

How else was he supposed to react when the entire Fox News article was just a lengthy compendium of tweets and quotes mocking Musk dogwalking their president? The only pushback the propaganda network printed in the story was some lame statement from psycho Karoline Leavitt saying “As soon as President Trump released his official stance on the CR, Republicans on Capitol Hill echoed his point of view. President Trump is the leader of the Republican Party. Full stop,” on Thursday before the mockery did not full stop but continued and escalated. There was no actual pushback or “debunking” just some impotent framing of it as being a “narrative” that’s inherently false because it’s the “Democrats, media allies” pushing it to score political points against Trump.

Worth asking why Fox News even printed this at all if they weren’t going to try to actually dismantle the “narrative” when propagating it. It’s like they’re not even trying to pretend the punch didn’t land.

“On Dec 19, US CENTCOM conducted a precision airstrike targeting ISIS leader Abu Yusif aka Mahmud in the Dayr az Zawr Province, Syria resulting in two ISIS operatives killed, including Abu Yusif. This airstrike is part of CENTCOM’s ongoing commitment, along with partners in the region, to disrupt and degrade efforts by terrorists to plan, organize, and conduct attacks against civilians and military personnel from the US, our allies, and our partners throughout the region and beyond. This strike was conducted in an area formerly controlled by the Syrian regime and Russians.”

“‘As stated before, the United States – working with allies and partners in the region – will not allow ISIS to take advantage of the current situation in Syria and reconstitute. ISIS has the intent to break out of detention the over 8,000 ISIS operatives currently being held in facilities in Syria. We will aggressively target these leaders and operatives, including those trying to conduct operations external to Syria,’ said Gen Michael Kurilla, CENTCOM commander,” says a US CENTCOM statement.

Right before Christmas too, in a season when there’s supposed to be joy and celebration, not getting blown to hell by a missile they didn’t see coming. Sure, Yusif wasn’t a Christmas-tian, but the holiday is inclusive and everyone is encouraged. For all we know Yusuf could have watched It’s A Wonderful Life with Arabic subtitles via satellite in his underground dungeon and felt the spirit of the season. Gradually, then suddenly, Yusuf’s ice cold heart would melt into warmth, and the terrorist leader would burst outside to dance merrily down the streets of his little goat village with a small crippled boy on his shoulder as fluffy snowflakes gently wafted down from the sky.

And if that didn’t happen then CENTCOM forces could’ve just vaporized him on the 26th.

It’s a blank screen because Speaker Mike Johnson was full of shit earlier this morning when he promised a 10 AM EST vote on some bill that will avoid a government shutdown.

In a rare calendar alignment not seen since 2005, American Jews will be deprived of one of their most sacred Christmas traditions next week: Ordering Chinese food and going to a movie theater since most other establishments are closed on the Christian/hypercapitalist holiday, as USA Today reports the Tribe will instead celebrate the first night of Hanukkah on December 25th. Such a convergence of the Hebrew and Gregorian calendars will next occur in 2035 and then again in 2054.

What’s probably a loss in the tens of millions nationally for cinemas and purveyors of sodium-flavored carbohydrates mixed in with meat byproducts is a gain for those in mixed families whom would prefer to avoid gathering for two separate celebrations in a single month because hearing Aunt Mary-Catherine drunkenly calling Uncle Bernie a “Christ-killer” once a year is enough.

Also those chocolate gold shekels are freaking terrible and make gingerbread seem like a delicacy.

“If there is going to be a shutdown of government, let it begin now, under the Biden Administration, not after January 20th, under ‘TRUMP.’ This is a Biden problem to solve, but if Republicans can help solve it, they will!” posted convicted felon President-Elect Trump on Friday, as if he didn’t earlier this week command Republicans in Congress to tank a funding bill they had negotiated.

Only the AfD can save Germany https://t.co/Afu0ea1Fvt

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 20, 2024

Convicted felon President-Elect Trump and Jesus Dork Speaker Mike Johnson’s respective teams are considering simply letting a government shutdown happen and trying to blame the Democrats for it, even though Republicans have the majority and thus theoretically the votes to get a funding package through the House at least, and even though military members won’t be getting their end-of-month paycheck to cover credit card bills incurred over Christmas, and even though it’s going to fuck things up politically for Trump before he can even start further dismantling American democracy, they think it’s the right call at this juncture, Politico Playbook reports.

There’s a “fear that Democrats are so eager to trip up Trump, that when the debt ceiling next needs to be raised, they’ll demand the GOP make politically impossible concessions. Republicans will then either cave to Dems’ demands, or they’ll cause a breach of the debt ceiling, precipitating an economic catastrophe in Trump’s first year back in office. Under this logic, these Trump world figures argue, it’s better to face a shutdown now to try to resolve the issue,” the Beltway newsletter team writes, explaining the thinking behind this self-sabotage from a team led by a supposed practitioner of the “Art of the Deal,” who can play 12D chess blindfolded against multiple opponents.