DC federal Judge Ana Reyes on Monday blocked the Trump Regime from removing temporary protected status from Haitian refugees, just hours before they were set to “expire,” CBS News reports.

Former President Bill and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have surrendered to the awesome, powerful, singular force that is James Comer, CNN reports on the two agreeing to closed-door depositions in the Oversight Committee’s Epstein investigation order to avoid being a criminal contempt vote that they were probably going to lose very, very badly and well beyond party-line.

“People are saying that Thomas Massie became a Liberal because his new wife, blessed be their marriage, is supposedly a Radical Left ‘flamethrower.’ This new union all went so fast that maybe he didn’t know what he was getting into but, nevertheless, he is an absolutely terrible and unreliable ‘Republican’ – Perhaps a RINO, or maybe even worse!” posted convicted felon President Trump on Monday, finally bringing back a long-lost hit from his earlier 2017 to 2020 catalog of bullshit lies. The good old unspecified “people” were such a tried and true out for him to act like some shit that he made up was somehow a widely-held opinion, like he’s lacking the requisite self-confidence.

“Ed Gallrein, a Farmer and War Hero, is running against Massie. He is a HIGH QUALITY individual, and there is no Candidate for Congress that could be better. He is running because he realizes Thomas Massie has been totally disloyal to the President of the United States, and the Republican Party. He never votes for us, he always goes with the Democrats. Thomas Massie is a Complete and Total Disaster, we must make sure he loses, BIG!” Trump continued and lol, Massie’s voting record was, by Heritage Nazis’ rankings, more conservative than Mike Johnson’s during the last Congress.

All the rest of this shit was a lie – like how the fuck does he know if Masseie’s wife is a “Radical Left flamethrower”? – all of it the product of deeply addled brain that also today decided it would be smart to suggest that the federal government take over voting in 15 states and claim that he’s seen the Somalis in Minnesota driving around in Mercedes-Benzes everywhere they go.

Sources tell CNN that ineffective fascist Attorney General Pam Bondi has ordered the MAGAfied Justice Department’s so-called “Weaponization Working Group” to meet every single day to come up with viable plans to find something, anything resembling a predicate to prosecute whoever was involved in the four felony cases brought against her bloated orange corpse of a boss, with a goal of having some kind of tangible enough result to show for their efforts within the next two months.

CNN’s article doesn’t contain any insider quotes and thus beats around the bush a little bit on why the sudden urgency, noting that the “working group” launched with Trump’s already failed second administration a year ago with really nothing to show for it and, since it’s a day that ends in y, the fat bastard has been pressuring his loyal enforcers to make something happen immediately.

However if you assume this article was a sanctioned “signaling” leak from Bondi – pretty plausible given the lack of quotes and that the only pertinent development is the renewed putting down the pedal – it’s noteworthy for what she did not hype and that CNN did not mention either way: That astonishingly batshit stupid “Grand Conspiracy” Obama indictment fantasy. Convoluted circlejerk story short, leading masturbators in the upper echelons of the MAGA legal community last month reportedly got a grand jury empaneled in Fort Pierce, Florida, a court bailiwick in which you already know disgraced Judge Aileen Cannon is the sole jurist. The big 5D checkmate move is this: FBI raided Trump in 2022 as the direct result of a RICO conspiracy that began in 2016 and Barack Obama was the ringleader, and since that conspiracy is still ongoing plus the jurisdictional nexus to Cannon’s turf, there are no statute of limitations or Sixth Amendment issues, so suck it libtards.

DC federal Judge Jia Cobb on Monday told DHS tough shit and issued a temporary restraining order preventing them from blocking members of Congress from visiting ICE’s gulags without prior notice.

Georgia MAGA Congressman and US Senate candidate Buddy Carter on Monday spiked the football on stupid Maria Bartirimo’s morning show, saying “I applaud Don Lemon being arrested. He should be. As I go through the state and I hear people, they are tired of this. They are tired of seeing what’s happening here. They want to see people in handcuffs, they want to see people go to jail” and…

Well there’s no reason to doubt his sincerity on either part of that bit, irrespective of his desperate thirst for a Trump endorsement in a competitive primary against a virtually indistinguishable opponent in other white-haired caucasian peckerwood MAGA Congressman Mike Collins. Carter would in all likelihood still be “applauding” a Black homosexual journalist getting arrested for accompanying lib protestors as they disrupted a conservative white congregation’s Sunday services if he hadn’t declared a bid to try to unseat incumbent Dem Jon Ossoff after Gov Brian Kemp passed.

It’s also 100 percent believable that this is what GOP primary voters who he spoke to at last week’s East Kluxville Historical Heritage Association monthly gathering wanted to talk about. Any assertion that getting justice for the Minnesota Christians so terribly intruded upon by Don Lemon’s rogues is deeply important to voters in economically depressed rural Georgia counties can and should be deemed credible. Buddy’s word can be taken to the bank here. Bond rating: AAA+++ * infinity.

Well that about buttons up this analysis of Georgia Republican primary voters, the issues that motivate them to turn out, and that Buddy Carter agrees with their applause. Let the Cook Political Report eggheads can do a deep dive on whether Carter will edge out Mike Collins as being the more authentic and relatable champion of protecting Minnesotan Christendom from Don Lemon.

“In the early morning hours on February 2nd staff from the Columbia Heights Public Schools became aware of a bomb threat that had been emailed to multiple schools in the district. Due to the timing of the information, it was not possible to fully investigate the threats prior to student arrival, and a decision was made to prioritize the safety of staff and students and cancel school for the day.”

“The Columbia Heights Police Department immediately responded to investigate the incident and searched the impacted campuses with the assistance of the Minneapolis Police Dept, Columbia Heights Fire, and Metro Transit Police. No suspicious packages or devices were located. The police department is working with other law enforcement agencies to continue the investigation into the source of the threats. Columbia Heights Public Schools will resume classes on February 3rd,” says the Columbia Heights, Minnesota Police Department in a press release issued Monday.

In a briefer statement posted on Facebook the district had announced the closure in English and then again in Spanish, which should tell you all you need to know about why the school was targeted. The district was also where 5 year-old Liam Ramos – who on Sunday was along with his father flown back home after weeks in a Texas gulag – was abducted by ICE agents to use him as bait to nab his dad. So yeah, the threat probably wasn’t some kid trying to duck a math test.

An absolutely sprawling profile of absolutely deranged South Carolina Republican Congresswoman Nancy Mace in New York Magazine by exceptionally talented journeyman Jake Lahut is all shock, no surprise as it simply furthers the public’s understanding of her as a cruel and criminally insane megalomaniac who ordered taxpayer-paid staffers to go on 2 AM tequila runs and is constantly drunk and high on weed while on the job. Nothing game-changing there, nor with a former staffer telling LaHut that “after six months I was like, ‘Man, this is one of the worst people I’ve ever met. I’m going back to South Carolina’” or another saying “She would make staffers cry. She would threaten to fire them, take their money away, not give them raises, not to give them days off, religious days.”

It’s the specifics that really hit the mark, like how – in addition to her previously reported online astroturfing operation – she “very adamantly” forced a staffer to boost her rank on freaking Reddit threads about “hottest women in Congress” and upvote comments calling her attractive.

On the one good thing she did lately, Lahut writes that “for a two-day period in November the president was calling her to change her vote on the discharge petition for the Epstein files, which had divided the Republican Party between those who wanted more transparency about Epstein’s connections to powerful people and those who were sensitive to how these revelations were hurting the White House. Trump advisers conveyed to her that she could still advocate for victims through her role on the House Oversight Committee,” copied verbatim because it confuses “vote” with the discharge petition signature and thus is kind of confusing. The point that it was one bargaining chip she had to get Trump’s endorsement to salvage her otherwise all-but-certainly-doomed Palmetto State gubernatorial bid and Mace stuck to her principles in that one particular instance.

Asked to comment on the 57.2 to 42.8 percent defeat of Trump-endorsed Patriot Mobile exec Leigh Wambsganss in Saturday’s state Senate runoff against Dem Taylor Rehmet, Texas MAGA Congressman Pete Sessions at first blamed the massive winter storm that scarcely affected the Dallas-Ft Worth area six days earlier as a ding against turnout. Then, probably realizing that was stupid, brought up some shit about how there had been another Republican in the race – but also realized that was also stupid because it was a runoff and there were only two candidates on the ballot. Finally, he sort of kind of owned up to the fact that it wasn’t a good look for the party.

A court in Germany’s original Nazi party heartland of Bavaria on Monday slapped 24 year-old Nazi fetishist AfD politician Daniel Halemba with 160 “daily fines” of €190, DPA reports without really nailing down precisely what that means – if it isn’t simply a €30,400 fine for his transgressions.

Halemba, previously National Zero famous for hosting a total rager of a Nazi frat party back in 2023, was found guilty on charges of money laundering for receiving a “four-digit” wire transfer from an unspecified Baltic country. The punk was however acquitted on incitement to hatred counts for having played a track by a banned Nazi metal group and of coercion for harassing a lawyer.

Yes, the German justice system and concordant reporting on it (DPA is a public broadcaster) is freaking opaque and inscrutable as hell – and it’s plain that domestic sources take those restrictions even further than they’re legally required to. But reading between the lines it seems like the judge was not fucking around and hit the hardcore anti-immigration white nationalist Halemba hard on what the prosecution did prove. All this while Halemba – who currently serves in Bavaria’s state parliament – is running for a seat on Wurzberg’s city council in next month’s municipal elections.

In a ruling issued in December but unsealed last week, the Sixth Circuit’s top judge told asshole Attorney General Pam Bondi tough shit if she doesn’t like Chief US District Judge James Boasberg sharing a negative opinion about convicted felon President Trump during a conference with other jurists last year, it’s not a judicial ethics violation to dislike the fat bastard, Reuters reports.

Bondi also had no evidence Boasberg had said anything. But even if she did “In these settings, a judge’s expression of anxiety about executive-branch compliance with ⁠judicial orders, whether rightly feared or not, is not so far afield from customary topics at these meetings – judicial independence, judicial ‌security, and inter-branch relations – as to violate the Codes of Judicial Conduct,” wrote Sixth Circuit Chief Judge Jeffrey Sutton, who had been detailed as a jurisdictional outsider to conduct the review in accordance with standard procedures to create distance.

Then again is there any such distance one could go to find a higher-ranking judge to agree that it’s unbecoming of a jurist to tell his colleagues that a litigant repeatedly violated court orders?

Groundhog Day is HERE! 🦫❄️ @AdamKlotzFNC is LIVE from Punxsutawney, PA as Phil makes his big call. Shadow or no shadow? Watch live this morning! pic.twitter.com/fReTT49MuO

— FOX & Friends (@foxandfriends) February 2, 2026

“The Grammy Awards are the WORST, virtually unwatchable! CBS is lucky not to have this garbage litter their airwaves any longer. The host, Trevor Noah, whoever he may be, is almost as bad as Jimmy Kimmel at the Low Ratings Academy Awards. Noah said, INCORRECTLY about me, that Donald Trump and Bill Clinton spent time on Epstein Island. WRONG!!! I can’t speak for Bill, but I have never been to Epstein Island, nor anywhere close, and until tonight’s false and defamatory statement, have never been accused of being there, not even by the Fake News Media. Noah, a total loser, better get his facts straight, and get them straight fast. It looks like I’ll be sending my lawyers to sue this poor, pathetic, talentless, dope of an MC, and suing him for plenty$. Ask Little George Slopadopolus, and others, how that all worked out. Also ask CBS! Get ready Noah, I’m going to have some fun with you!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 1:01 AM on Monday.

Health and Human Service Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr on Sunday ordered a halt to all detainee intake at a large ICE gulag in Texas. Indirectly, because as CBS News reports even if the facility is not under Bobby Brainworms’s jurisdiction it is certainly his policies that caused the measles outbreak among those already living under miserable conditions inside the internment camp.

“ICE Health Services Corps immediately took steps to quarantine and control further spread and infection, ceasing all movement within the facility and quarantining all individuals suspected of making contact with the infected,” Peroxide Goebbels DHS official Trish McLaughlin said, adding with her characteristic dihonesty “appropriate and active steps to prevent further infection” at the Dilley Immigration Processing Center, located about an hour south of San Antonio.

Oh sorry, Mr Deputy Attorney General of the United States. How awful of us to be more concerned at the numerous mentions of the President in the parts of the files – concerning the most notorious sex trafficker of all time – that you did not redact rather than giving equal weight to those against, say, the Andrew formerly known as Prince. A British guy. Or Alan Dershowitz, who like you charged legal bills to your client. You’re so right, those guys should be scrutinized just as thoroughly.

Also, what the fuck is this guy saying about being open to hearing from the public about what they got wrong in their investigations now that some of the files are unsealed? He wants us to call the Justice Department and demand they launch a criminal investigation into Elon Musk?

The Coast Guard on Saturday announced the suspension of the search “for the missing crew members from the fishing vessel Lily Jean after search efforts yielded no additional results. Coast Guard crews have searched continuously since receiving an emergency position-indicating radio beacon activation Friday morning from the 72-foot fishing vessel, approximately 25 miles off the coast of Cape Ann, Massachusetts. Seven people were reported to be aboard the vessel.”

“During the search, Coast Guard air and surface crews located a debris field near the beacon’s reported position, recovered one unresponsive individual from the water, and located the vessel’s life raft, which was deployed but unoccupied. Coast Guard crews conducted coordinated search patterns based on weather conditions, sea state and available evidence and covered approximately 1,047 square miles over 24 hours using multiple aircraft, cutters and small boats. After consultation between search and rescue mission coordinators and on-scene commanders, the Coast Guard determined that all reasonable search efforts for the missing crew members had been exhausted.”

“The cause of the incident is under investigation by the Coast Guard Northeast District,” the statement continued as if to leave open the possibility that a giant squid emerged from the abyss and attacked the boat. Or it was Somali pirates because you never know, they could theoretically have built a super secret base in Nova Scotia and are conducting raids on American vessels. Or maybe they just murdered one of their crew and scattered a bunch of debris to make it look extra convincing that they sank to cover up the explosive truth that they secretly defected to Greenland.

“Today is the day! To all Voters in Texas’ 9th State Senate District: GET OUT AND VOTE for a phenomenal Candidate, Leigh Wambsganss. She is a highly successful Entrepreneur, and an incredible supporter of our Movement to, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN. My very good friend, Lt Governor Dan Patrick, needs a strong conservative Republican in SD-9 to KEEP TEXAS RED! The Radical Left Democrats are spending a fortune to beat a true MAGA Warrior, Leigh Wambsganss. You can win this Election for Leigh, who has my Complete and Total Endorsement. POLLS CLOSE AT 7 PM. GET OUT AND VOTE FOR LEIGH WAMBSGANSS!” posted convicted felon President Trump at 2:28 PM EST on Saturday, during the special election runoff for the contested seat.

Then at 11:17 PM the Texas Tribune printed a statement from Wambsganss – an exec with “Patriot Mobile,” lol – saying her 57.2 to 42.8 percent defeat to Dem Taylor Rehmet ought to be a “wakeup call” for Republicans. “The dynamics of a special election are fundamentally different from a November general election,” Wambsganss said. “I believe the voters of Senate District 9 and Tarrant County Republicans will answer the call in November” during their full-term rematch.

Right on bro! You really freaking nailed it right there when you said “ICE murdered an American citizen in cold blood and then the Trump administration called him a domestic terrorist. That’s it. Like plain and simple. I see the administration trying to spin it and it’s fucking disgusting!” while talking about Alex Pretti’s murder in Minneapolis. That’s some real moral courage that certain people with large followings couldn’t be bothered to display about 15 months ago, give or take.

A year to the minute after National Zero readers were first introduced to Trump Burger – the startup Houston-area fast food chain dedicated to the Orange God Emperor – is a good a time as any to provide an update on how things are going for the four-locations-and-growing brand:

It’s gone. All four outlets closed or were seized last fall while founder Iyad Muhammad Abuelhawa, an illegal immigrant from Jordan, and his ex-partner/opposing legal party Roland Beainy, an illegal immigrant from Lebanon, were in ICE custody, though both men have secured temporary release.

The original location in the town of Bellville, founded by Abuelhawa in 2020 before Beainy elbowed in somehow, is now “President Burger” and owned by local man Luis Pita. It still largely stick to the Trump theme. So does the former second location, opened late 2024 in Flatonia, now rechristened “MAGA Burger” and owned by parties unknown. The Kemah, Texas location, opened in March 2025, was seized by landlord Archie Patterson and now operates as Freedom Burgers and Beer Garden, probably still Trump-themed. The fourth and final location, opened in May 2025 and lasted mere weeks at a former Checkers in Houston – located at the address in the headline – is “coming soon” as actually growing area chain Empire Pizza‘s next outlet, with no MAGA theming remaining.

Thus ends the American dream for two immigrants and a narrative Fox News so limp dick-edly sold as “An emerging chain in the Lone Star State is making waves – specifically, red ones – with a menu and décor inspired by none other than Donald Trump.” You want cries with that, libtards? LMAO!