Convicted felon President-Elect Trump has selected vicious German Shepherd Karoline Leavitt to serve as White House Press Secretary, Semafor’s Shelby Talcott reports on the Reich’s comms arm.

November 15, 2024

Jesus Dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson tells CNN he’s “I’m going to strongly request that the Ethics Committee not issue the report“ on Attorney General nominee Matt Gaetz’s behavior off the clock, for which Johnson’s son would get an alert if his dad saw photos of.

“The Trump-Pence administration was unapologetically pro-life for our four years in office. There are hundreds of decisions made at HHS every day that either lead our nation toward a respect for life or away from it, and HHS under our administration always stood for life. The nomination of RFK Jr to serve as Secretary of HHS is an abrupt departure from the pro-life record of our administration and should be deeply concerning to millions of Pro-Life Americans who have supported the Republican Party for decades. For the majority of his career, RFK Jr has defended abortion on demand during all nine months of pregnancy, supports overturning the Dobbs decision and has called for legislation to codify Roe v Wade. If confirmed, RFK, Jr would be the most pro-abortion Republican appointed secretary of HHS in modern history. The pro-life movement has always looked to the Republican party to stand for life, to affirm an unborn child has a fundamental right to life which cannot be infringed. On behalf of tens of millions of pro-life Americans, I respectfully urge Senate Republicans to reject this nomination and give the American people a leader who will respect the sanctity of life as secretary of Health and Human Services,” says former Vice President Mike Pence in a statement.

See, this is why they almost hanged him and why JD Vance took his job. Pence thinks the GOP still has commitment to anything resembling principle or even basic consistency. You’d think that maybe he would’ve figured that out after nearly getting lynched simply for refusing to light the US Constitution on fire, but here we are. Luckily for Pence it goes the other way too and Bobby Jr could, and maybe even will, decide he’s “pro-life.” Wouldn’t be much of a stretch given Roadkill Guy’s own level of “principle” as demonstrated by his journey from Dem primary challenger to MAGA Quisling.

Large-headed Trump spokesman Steven Cheung on Friday told CBS News that the 2017 sexual assault investigation into Fox News host and Defense Secretary nominee Pete Hegseth is a non-deal breaker because Hegseth denies them, saying “President Trump is nominating high-caliber and extremely qualified candidates to serve in his Administration. Mr Hegseth has vigorously denied any and all accusations, and no charges were filed. We look forward to his confirmation as United States Secretary of Defense so he can get started on Day One to Make America Safe and Great Again.”

Cops in Monterey, California on October 12, 2017 took a report from a woman who accused Hegseth of an assault at a hotel in the early morning hours of the 8th at the Hyatt Regency. CBS mentions the words “contusion” and “thigh” as appearing in the report, but no further details were available.

Shocking that Fox News and then President-Elect Trump would want to hire someone like that.

“Congresswoman Nancy Mace sent a letter to the USDA and NIH demanding a briefing after a recent escape of 43 monkeys from the Alpha Genesis facility in Yemassee, SC. The incident, which left several primates unaccounted for seven days after their escape, is only the latest in a long list of violations from this USDA and NIH-funded laboratory. ‘For years, Alpha Genesis has racked up federal contracts and taxpayer dollars while consistently violating animal welfare laws and exposing the public to dangerous escapes,’ said Rep Nancy Mace. ‘NIH and USDA need to step up and ensure South Carolinians don’t bear the risk of this lab’s negligence,'” says Mace’s office in a statement.

“Despite receiving over $110 million in taxpayer funding since 2008 – including $19 million this year alone – Alpha Genesis has a disturbing history of animal welfare violations and public safety risks. Housing over 10,000 primates, including 3,300 on NIH’s controversial Monkey Island, the lab has faced frequent federal citations for unsafe enclosures, poor veterinary care, and preventable animal deaths. Yet oversight remains minimal, with recent inspections confirming multiple violations, including escaped primates and fatal neglect,” the statement continued.

The lab and local officials have caught 35 of the 43 escaped monkeys as of Thursday night.

The investigation into a quadruple fatal crash of a Tesla in Toronto last month is still ongoing, however this week a mailman told the Toronto Star he was forced to smash the window with a metal pole to rescue the sole survivor after the doors failed to open due to power failure.

“You couldn’t open the doors,” Canada Post worker Rick Harper recalled about the October 24 crash on Lake Shore Boulervard. “I would assume the young lady would have tried to open the door from the inside, because she was pretty desperate to get out. I don’t know if that was the battery or what. But she couldn’t get out,” Harper continued, adding that he wasn’t even aware there had been any other occupants as the Model Y’s cabin was completely filled with acrid black smoke.

Calgary Fire Department Captain Randy Schmitz, who serves as the chair of the Alberta Vehicle Extraction Association, says it’s not only Tesla models whose doors can fail if power is lost after an accident as he’s aware of the problem in some GM, Ford, and Mazdas too, all of them equipped with manual overrides that are difficult to find in a high-stress situation, like a fire. “Part of the problem is (salespeople) don’t inform the vehicle owners of this feature so it falls on the vehicle’s owner to seek out the information in their service manual that comes with every vehicle,” said Schmitz.

But let’s hear more about how Tesla’s mastermind is going to tackle the US government’s red tape.

Apparently being the First Lady of the most powerful, most prosperous nation on Earth just isn’t enough for some people.  Cucked former/future First Lady Melania Trump–who will not join her husband at the White House residence–released a series of sixteen “exclusive” digital images of the former nude model, apparently clothed in this edition on her website.  The blockchain set sells for $195.

“This exclusive collection of images showcases First Lady Melania Trump’s dynamic life, featuring her in various settings – from her office and the campaign trail to her home. The photographs, captured by the esteemed Belgian photographer Regine Mahaux, offer a poignant glimpse into her fast-moving life,” the Manhattanite writes.

More than three-quarters of the guns confiscated by police officials in various Caribbean nations from 2018 to 2022 were manufactured in the United States and illegally imported to the nations, precipitating a spike in gang-related violence in places like Haiti and Jamaica, CNN reports.

So while the guns themselves did commit the violence, the increasing presence of the guns in the 25 nations surveyed lead to increasing gun violence.  Of the nearly 5,400 weapons recovered, 88% were handguns.

Maori members of the New Zealand Parliament performed a haka, a traditional dance and chant designed to intimidate opponents, to protest a bill that would undermine more than 180 years of precedent regarding the status of Indigenous peoples in the nation.  It’s a much more effective photo op than Jim Jordan holding up posterboard during a Weaponization Committee hearing.

Yup. Politico reports none other than Bobby Jr is convicted felon President-Elect Trump’s choice to lead the Department of Health and Human Services and yeah, it looks pretty official.

“Four Los Angeles area residents were arrested today after a Department of Insurance investigation found the suspects allegedly committed insurance fraud by claiming a bear had caused damage to their vehicles, but it was actually a person in a bear costume. Ruben Tamrazian, 26, of Glendale, Ararat Chirkinian, 39, of Glendale, Vahe Muradkhanyan, 32, of Glendale, and Alfiya Zuckerman, 39, of Valley Village, have all been charged with insurance fraud and conspiracy. The Department’s investigation began after an insurance company suspected fraud. The suspects claimed on January 28, 2024 in Lake Arrowhead a bear entered their 2010 Rolls Royce Ghost and caused interior damage to the vehicle. They provided video footage to their insurance company, which showed the alleged bear in the vehicle,” says the California Department of Insurance in a press release.

“Upon further scrutiny of the video, the investigation determined the bear was actually a person in a bear costume. Detectives found two additional insurance claims with two different insurance companies, for the suspects with the same date of loss and at the same location. Each involved two different vehicles, a 2015 Mercedes G63 AMG and a 2022 Mercedes E350, and the suspects again appeared to use a bear costume to make it appear that a bear also damaged those vehicles. They provided the video footage to the other insurance companies as well to substantiate their claims.”

“To further ensure it was not actually a bear in the video, the Department had a biologist from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife review the three alleged bear videos and they also opined it was clearly a human in a bear suit. After executing a search warrant, detectives found the bear costume in the suspects’ home. The insurance companies were defrauded of $141,839, because of the alleged fraud committed. Detectives were assisted by the Glendale Police Department and the California Highway Patrol. The San Bernardino District Attorney’s Office is prosecuting this case.”

Republican Texas Senator John Cornyn on Thursday told a Reuters reporter “there should not be any limitation” on the Senate’s investigation as the chamber considers whether they should confirm credibly suspected statutory rapist Matt Gaetz to lead the US Justice Department, “including whatever the House Ethics Committee has generated,” and when asked if that meant the full report that Gaetz so far has prevented from release by resigning his seat, Cornyn said “Absolutely.”

Of course Cornyn and other GOP senators getting to see it versus whether it would ever see the light of day are two completely separate things. Probably makes a leak far more likely though.

Non-Correction: The current version of this article misspelled Senator John Cornyn’s name as ‘Cornhole’ in the headline. National Zero does not regret the error and will not be correcting it.

These confirmation hearings may just save cable TV for the short term.

— Chuck Todd (@chucktodd) November 13, 2024

As dark as the current moment is for a lot of people, there’s also something refreshing and liberating about having an answer to the vexing question of whether the collective hive mind of “the media” is worth saving after they failed again and again and again to just be real with people… and here the rodent-faced embodiment of some of its worst qualities provides us with such stunning clarity.

Now are there plenty of good, decent, honest people in the mainstream media? Yes. Most of them are, actually. Can the reporting continue to be a useful resource? We would scarcely exist as a site if everything had to be sourced from social media, message board posts, press releases, and so on.

But sometimes we cite from Fox News – hell even Breitbart every now and then – as our upstream source with little to no qualification of their reporting. That doesn’t mean we suddenly trust or absolve them of having an agenda, it just means in that specific situation the info appears real.

From here on out the same largely applies to the legacy and legacy-ish media: The Times, The Post, CNN, CBS, and so on. They’ve made their agenda clear enough for some time, but here’s Chuck Todd ending all ambiguity and grey area. And that’s why we in the anti-MAGA media sphere can feel a sense of liberation and purpose, that even if we lean on their coverage factually, it’s on us to spread the actual takeaways and implications that the lamestream cunts bury under sane-washing and both-siding. It’s the only way forward in the four year shitshow ahead.

The world-class standard in satirical news coverage, The Onion, has won the auction to buy the Infowars brand, Variety reports. The families of the Sandy Hook massacre victims, whose successful lawsuits against conspiracy freak Alex Jones had forced the asset sale, had lowered the asking price specifically so The Onion, bought up by former Twilio CEO Jeff Lawson earlier this year, could acquire Infowars’ intellectual property, including its website, customer lists and inventory, certain social media accounts, and the production equipment used to put Jones on the air.

Asked why convicted felon President-Elect Trump picked credibly suspected statutory rapist Matt Gaetz to be his attorney general, a minion of the Orange God Emperor texted an Axios reporter a clip of a colleague’s story about a Wednesday FBI raid on the home of scam political betting site Polymarket founder Shayne Coplan, telling the reporter Donald wants to “stop shit like this.”

Gaetz, who resigned just two days before the House Ethics Committee was to drop a report outlining all the sex trafficking, drug use, and bribery accusations against him, had convinced Trump he was the victim of a Deep State witch hunt and thus the perfect pick for US Attorney General.

CBS’s Robert Costa meanwhile reports that Senate Republicans would “prefer to not have a messy fight over Gaetz. Not their favorite. But they also don’t have a lot of energy for pushing back. Trump runs the show, they say. If Gaetz can reassure them, they’re open to backing him.”

A man carrying an explosive device was killed Wednesday as he tried to enter Brazil’s Supreme Court, the premature detonation ruining the satisfaction he sought, the AFP reports.

“This citizen approached the Federal Supreme Court, tried to enter, failed, and the explosion happened at the entrance,” said Celina Leao, governor of the capital Brasilia. No one else was harmed and the judges were safely evacuated. Another bomb went off it a vehicle parked nearby.

At some point before dawn the clock struck 50 years to the moment that the town of Amityville on the South Shore of Long Island became destined to have its name appropriated for no fewer than 45 and as many as 54 horror films, the most recent of which, and we shit you not, is titled Amityville Backpack, the premise apparently that a possessed backpack originated in the house in which a tragic massacre occurred 50 years ago. Backpack is at least the third straight-to-DVD (and that’s DVD, not Blu-ray, not video on demand) Amityville film that became available for sale earlier this year on Amazon, right off the heels of Amityville Ripper and Amityville Bigfoot.

And actually Backpack is not the most recent, since that one’s Amazon page says it was released in June. Once Upon a Time in Amityville dropped in September. Apparently it’s a “Western” themed horror even though Amityville is on the East Coast and… You can get it in a $15.58 two-pack with Jurassic Exorcist. Both films list the director as Mark Polonia and bill Ken Van Sant as the lead actor.

Nice to see folks still getting work in the money laundering industry these days…

Habitual embarrassment Rudy Giuliani’s lawyers filed a motion in court on Wednesday requesting to withdraw from the case, saying their client is uncooperative, demanding an infeasible defense, and asking them to suborn perjury, according to court filings.

Demonstrating that it’s shocking to find anyone working for Team Trump that exhibits a modicum of ethics, the lawyers’ withdrawal from the New York Southern District Court case regarding his bankruptcy turnovers to Shaye Moss and Ruby Freeman.