Disgraced New York Magazine reporter Olivia Nuzzi on Monday accused her ex-fiancee, Politico Playbook editor Ryan Lizza, of having “explicitly threatened to make public personal information about me to destroy my life, career, and reputation – a threat he has since carried out,” after her sexting thing with fucking weirdo Robert F Kennedy Jr, CNN reports on some soapy drama.

The accusation came in a filing and before a judge in Washington, DC’s Superior Court this week for some sort of case – we guess she’s suing Lizza – to which Lizza told CNN that he’s “saddened that my ex-fiancée would resort to making a series of false accusations against me as a way to divert attention from her own personal and professional failings. I emphatically deny these allegations and I will defend myself against them vigorously and successfully.” Or more simply they’re true and it’s defensible because Lizza probably would not have exposed the kind of twisted “affair” if it had been some college friend of Nuzzi’s and not an actual subject of her reporting.

Kamala, after delivering brief, scripted remarks, ignores questions — as usual. pic.twitter.com/j0UpUyZSU1

— Trump War Room (@TrumpWarRoom) October 1, 2024

It was good on Monday when convicted felon former President Trump refused to answer a question about why he lied about President Biden speaking with Georgia Governor Brian Kemp.

Apparently having dispensed with the need for a lengthy schedule of evidentiary hearings and all that shit, MAGA Judge Aileen Cannon on Tuesday scheduled jury selection to begin in the trial for Trump’s would-be assassin Ryan Routh for November 18th, 2024, just 64 days after the attempt.

“A Montana man was sentenced today to six months in prison for committing two felony wildlife crimes – a conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act and substantively violating the Lacey Act – as part of an almost decade-long effort to create giant sheep hybrids in the United States with an aim to sell the species to captive hunting facilities. Arthur ‘Jack’ Schubarth, 81, of Vaughn, is the owner and operator of Sun River Enterprises LLC, also known as Schubarth Ranch, which is a 215-acre alternative livestock ranch in Vaughn. The Schubarth Ranch is engaged in the purchase, sale and breeding of ‘alternative livestock’ such as mountain sheep, mountain goats and various ungulates.”

“The primary market for Schubarth’s livestock is captive hunting operations, also known as shooting preserves or game ranches. According to court documents, Schubarth conspired with at least five other individuals between 2013 and 2021 to create a larger hybrid species of sheep that would garner higher prices from shooting preserves. Schubarth brought parts of the largest sheep in the world, Marco Polo argali sheep (Ovis ammon polii), from Kyrgyzstan into the US without declaring the importation. Average males can weigh more than 300 pounds, with horns that span more than five feet. Marco Polo argali are native to high elevations of the Pamir region of Central Asia.”

“They are protected internationally by the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES) and domestically by the Endangered Species Act, and are prohibited in the State of Montana to protect native sheep from disease and hybridization. Schubarth sent genetic material from the argali parts to a lab to create cloned embryos. Schubarth then implanted the embryos in ewes on his ranch, resulting in a single, pure genetic male Marco Polo argali that he named ‘Montana Mountain King’ or MMK,” says a Justice Department press release on Dr Frankensheep’s downfall.

Bath water will finally be less disgusting to drink as the Elmira, New York Leader reports the Village of Bath’s lead pipes will be replaced using a $500,000 grant from Gov Kathy Hochul.

“When it comes to New York’s water infrastructure, we’re getting the lead out,” Hochul said, sounding like a classic rock station DJ amping you up for “Whole Lotta Love,” adding “Keeping New Yorkers safe is my top priority and by giving communities the support needed to replace lead service lines, we’re helping to safeguard public drinking water for generations to come.”

“President Donald J Trump respectfully submits this opposition to the motion by the Special Counsel’s Office proposing redactions to their so-called ‘Motion for Immunity Determinations,’ which they have re-styled in an unsuccessful effort to mask the fact that there is no basis in federal criminal procedure or the Constitution for a filing that attempts to usurp control and presentation of a defendant’s defense in a criminal case. The Motion reflects a largely unexplained about-face on materials the Office designated ‘Sensitive’ pursuant to that Protective Order, and does not adequately address the implications for witnesses, potential jurors, and the integrity of the proceedings,” write convicted felon former President Trump’s lawyers in an opposition to special counsel Jack Smith’s plan to dump a shit ton of evidence against the fat fuck in court.

“The true motivation driving the efforts by the Special Counsel’s Office to disseminate witness statements that they previously sought to lock down is as obvious as it is inappropriate. The Office wants their politically motivated manifesto to be public, contrary to the Justice Manual and longstanding DOJ norms in cases not involving President Trump, in the final weeks of the 2024 Presidential election while early voting has already begun throughout the United States. Having criticized President Trump for, according to the Office, trying to ‘litigate this case in the media’ and ‘improperly press his case in the court of public opinion,’ the Office is seeking to do just that, in violation of the very restrictions they previously claimed were essential to the ‘fair administration of justice.’ While the Presidential immunity filing contains few, if any, new allegations not already covered in other politically motivated and inaccurate lawfare efforts that President Trump’s opponents have improperly funded and disseminated, it is irresponsible for the prosecutors to so quickly abandon the safety and privacy interests that they previously assigned great weight in this case and in the Southern District of Florida,” the scumbag lawyers continued bitching.

Vice President Kamala Harris will be on the ground in Georgia to inspect the damage from Hurricane Helene on Wednesday with another trip to North Carolina planned shortly after, the AP reports.

The headline is the entirety of a Tuesday Truth Social post by convicted felon former President Trump, apparently feeling like he’s getting the boost he desperately wanted when he complained in July and then again last month that OPEC was rigging the election against him by not raising prices.

Earlier the fat bastard posted “WE ARE CRIME FIGHTERS, THEY (KAMALA AND JOE) ARE CRIME CREATORS!” probably in response to media coverage of decreasing crime rates.

Then his campaign put out a lengthy rant billed as his statement on the Iranian missile attack on Israel. “The World is on fire and spiraling out of control. We have no leadership, no one running the Country. We have a non-existent President in Joe Biden, and a completely absent Vice President, Kamala Harris, who is too busy fundraising in San Francisco, a City which she and Gavin Newscum totally destroyed, and staging fake photo ops. No one is in charge and it’s not even clear who is more confused: Biden or Kamala. Neither has any idea what is even going on” blah blah blah…

“Under ‘President Trump,’ we had NO WAR in the Middle East, NO WAR in Europe, and Harmony in Asia, No Inflation, No Afghanistan Catastrophe. Instead, we had PEACE. Now, War or the threat of War, is raging everywhere, and the two Incompetents running this Country are leading us to the brink of World War III. You wouldn’t trust Joe or Kamala to run a lemonade stand, let alone lead the Free World” blah blah blah… “If I was in charge, October 7th never happens, Russia/Ukraine never happens, Afghanistan Botched Withdrawal never happens, and Inflation never happens. If I win, we will have peace in the World again. If Kamala gets 4 more years, the World goes up in smoke.”

A British magistrate on Tuesday ordered 41 year-old Tranmere Rovers supporter Allan Sutton to a pay a £400 and serve a three year ban from any professional football game in the UK for climbing up on an entrance gate roof and “baring his buttocks” in full view of other fans after being refused entry to an August 30th away match at Rovers rival Carlisle United’s field, the BBC reports.

Prosecutor Diane Jackson described Sutton as slurring his words and swaying on his feet during two confrontations with the staff at Brunton Park before he climbed up onto the turnstile roof where he continued to be “aggressive and abusive, shouting at members of the public as they walked past, including families and children. He switched between being abusive, face-timing his friends and sunbathing. At 7:30 BST he made a decision to come down after four-and-a-half hours when he was arrested.” It’s not clear precisely at what point in that timeline the buttocks exposure occurred.

Lead magistrate Jill Robson scolded Sutton, as his “behavior wasted a lot of emergency services workers’ time. That time could have been needed in a more pressing situation than watching you behave in that way on a roof,” before banning him from being within a mile of any professional soccer venue in the United Kingdom for four hours before and after any match until 2027. Probably a lighter sentence than Sutton deserved considering he did five years in the clink for a 2015 incident in which he drunkenly broke into the wrong house and mistakenly beat the shit out of a person within.

A new New York Post/Leger national survey of likely voters finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump 51 to 47 percent. Again, whether or not this poll is “real” is meaningless, it’s simply the fact that they have to print the result that they paid for.

Hilariously it appears the Post removed the comment section from the article in which they qualify the findings with “but majorities of likely voters would prefer the Republican candidate to handle top issues such as inflation, immigration and jobs,” as if that somehow matters more than voter intent.

Katmai National Park’s “Fat Bear Week,” a fun internet event in which fans vote for their favorite grizzly bear in the Alaskan preserve’s habitat, was postponed Monday due to a fatal incident in which one of the contestants brutally killed another over a salmon fishing spot, CBS News reports.

“Earlier today, a bear killed another bear on the river. It was caught live on the webcams and we thought, well, we can’t go ahead with our Fat Bear Week bracket reveal without addressing this situation first,” said biologist Mike Fritz in a conversation on Monday’s livestream held in place of the scheduled unveiling. The bracket will instead be unveiled at 7PM EDT on Tuesday.

Bear 469’s savage murder of Bear 402 on a Brooks River waterfall was captured on live video. It’s not clear how the Fat Bear Week bracket will be reshuffled following the brutal ursinocide, though it’d make sense if they match 469 and 402 up and then declare 469 the winner by simple default.

You’d think a guy who just spent the last two weeks or so coaching a fellow Republican ahead of a big debate would sound a lot more, uh, cheerful and optimistic than House Majority Whip Tom Emmer does about JD Vance’s showdown with Minnesota Governor Tim Walz on CBS Tuesday.

In fact Emmer sounds just fucking pissed and defensive, bitching about how the election isn’t enough about the issues, when talking about it on CNBC this morning, like maybe the coaching didn’t go so well. Sucks for him. Anyway for his part Dem running mate Minnesota Gov Tim Walz seems to be undertaking a decidedly more deliberate expectations lowering campaign with multiple stories being planted saying he’s not all that great of a debater and gets defensive when confronted about his fuckups in private. The bottom line is Vance is vulnerable and can be destroyed.

“Today, the Department of the Treasury’s Office of Foreign Assets Control (OFAC) is designating Hilltop Youth, a violent extremist group that has repeatedly attacked Palestinians and destroyed Palestinian homes and property in the West Bank, pursuant to Executive Order (EO) 14115. Through these violent activities, Hilltop Youth is actively destabilizing the West Bank and harming the peace and security of Palestinians and Israelis alike. Hilltop Youth has devastated Palestinian communities and carried out killings, mass arson, and other so-called ‘price tag’ attacks to exact revenge and intimidate Palestinian civilians, and has repeatedly clashed with the Israeli military as it counters their activities,” says a Treasury Department press release announcing the sanctions.

“As noted in FinCEN’s February 1, 2024 Alert and July 11, 2024 Supplemental Alert, the United States has consistently opposed violence in the West Bank, including attacks by Israeli violent extremist settlers against Palestinians and attacks by Palestinian violent extremists against Israelis. The United States will continue to seek accountability and justice for all acts of violence against civilians in the West Bank, regardless of the perpetrator or the victim. Treasury remains concerned by reports of escalating violence in the West Bank and encourages continued reporting by financial institutions of suspicious activity potentially related to the financing of these violent acts.”

Cops in Racine, Wisconsin pursuing a suspect wanted for questioning in an earlier hit-and-run got help from an unlikely Good Samaritan on Monday night, according to a state Department of Justice press release: A tree that lended a helping branch by getting in the way of the unnamed suspect’s vehicle after he fled a traffic stop. It’s not clear whether the vegetative organism was severely injured in the crash. The same cannot be said of suspect, who was pronounced dead at the scene.

Less than 24 hours after he gutted the state’s six-week abortion ban, Fulton County, Georgia superior Court Judge Robert McBurney is hearing a case against the newly MAGAfied state election board’s new self-granted powers to hold up certification of the November results if they don’t like them. We’re joining late but Lawfare analyst Anna Bower’s live tweet thread says the plaintiffs are looking to McBurney to set guardrails for the pro-Trump scumbags on the board’s ability to fuck around and delay certification over whatever made-up “election integrity” bullshit they want.

Dumbass New York City Mayor Eric Adams’s legal team on Monday pulled a total Trump in the federal bribery case against him, as Politico reports they’re accusing the government of illegally leaking details of the investigation against him. “For nearly a year, the government has leaked grand jury material and other sensitive information to the media to aggrandize itself, further its investigation, and unfairly prejudice the defendant,” wrote attorney Alex Spiro in a motion.

That was Trump’s line last year against prosecutors Jack Smith and Alvin Bragg. A bunch of times.

A senior White House official tells CNN that “The United States has indications that Iran is preparing to imminently launch a ballistic missile attack against Israel. We are actively supporting defensive preparations to defend Israel against this attack. A direct military attack from Iran against Israel will carry severe consequences for Iran.” The MAGA kids are going to LOVE this.

Is this the real Oval or the fake one they send Biden to so he can play President? https://t.co/BTF2QKz5Pf

— Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) October 1, 2024

Matt Gaetz seems a little butthurt over Biden calling out his Orange Allah’s lies. Butthurt enough to entertain the classic “Biden’s White House is a set on Tyler Perry’s lawn” fairy tale.

In a one-year retrospective on the massive self-own that was the House Republican Caucus’s ouster of feckless and weak now-former Speaker Kevin McCarthy, NOTUS reports that members are still “emotionally recovering” from the shambolic three-week long clusterfuck that brought them Speaker Mike Johnson, summing it up with “The House looks a lot like it did before Matt Gaetz and seven other Republicans, alongside House Democrats, voted to remove McCarthy, although Republicans have fewer members than they did then,” because now-expelled-and-convicted-felon George Santos’s seat flipped Blue and Mike Gallagher resigned too late for a special election to be held.

“They took an entire branch of government offline for three weeks, when we had two wars raging overseas,” said Pennsylvania “moderate” Brian Fitzpatrick “It was a very dark day in American history,” he added, even if it wasn’t dark enough for him to quit his shitshow of a party in disgust.

“There are many tragedies of the McCarthy ouster,” South Dakotan Dusty Johnson said. “But I think the eight renegades who ousted him have to acknowledge that they didn’t fundamentally change anything about the House.” Lame duck Virginian Bob Good, the only one of the “renegades” to be successfully ousted in a primary during McCarthy’s “revenge tour” (and even then it was mostly Trump’s revenge over Good originally endorsing Ron DeSantis’s failed presidential bid) agreed, lol.

“No,” Good said when asked if Mike Johnsons had done a decent enough job. “Speaker Johnson’s positions have changed on many things since he became speaker. He used to be against funding for Ukraine. He said we would use that as leverage to obtain border security. Not only did we not use it as leverage for border security, he’s supported more funding for Ukraine. He used to support a warrant requirement for FISA, and he changed his position on that,” Good continued crying.