“In the World of Boxing or UFC, when a Fighter gets beaten or knocked out, they get up and scream, ‘I DEMAND A REMATCH, I DEMAND A REMATCH!’ Well, it’s no different with a Debate. She was beaten badly last night. Every Poll has us WINNING, in one case, 92-8, so why would I do a Rematch?” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Wednesday, using a (obviously non-scientific) Twitter poll by WallStreetApes or some other incel dipshit to justify pussying out.

And if he kicked her ass in front of tens of millions, then why wouldn’t he want to do it again, just to say he won the ratings? Can any Trump fanboys step up and answer for him here?

Jesus Dork House Speaker Mike Johnson on Wednesday announced he was backing down from a plan to fund the government using a continuing resolution rather than an annual budget, which the freaking weasel wanted to be attached to the stupid “election integrity” bill, CNBC reports.

“We’re going to continue to work on this whip,” Johnson told reporters at the Capitol. “No vote today because we’re in the consensus-building business here in Congress with small majorities.”

Lot going on in this 26 second clip of “investors are pricing in a Trump win” logic and the very stuttery but rampant use of conditional and contingent language to ascribe what this lady seems to actually personally buy into but projected onto “many people are saying,” while also mostly skirting around Trump’s utter implosion by making it more about Harris coming out looking good.

And, while we don’t buy that we buy the premise that the entire stock market lives and dies alongside the outlook for Trump’s political future, we can absolutely see a correlation with that and the day-to-day price for $DJT, which is down 12 percent to $16.46 a share since before the debate. It was trading at $40.58 less than two months ago after the fat bastard got shot in the ear during a rally.

It’s still goddamned early but these sort of things are important to at least try to anticipate how Tuesday night’s going to sink in with the electorate: A YouGov snap poll finds 43 percent to 28 percent of respondents overall say Vice President Kamala Harris won the debate, with the remainder not sure, which seems kind of high. Among independents it was 35 percent Harris won to 21 percent Trump, an even higher number at 44 percent also unsure. Among partisans the differences are interesting, if a little less so. Just 6 percent of Dems say Trump won, 11 percent of Republicans say Harris won, but the “not sure” says even more: Just 13 percent of Dem respondents said it to 27 percent of Republicans… Meaning more than a third of GOP respondents can’t even anonymously pretend their Orange Jesus won. Just imagine how many wouldn’t admit it even to themselves.

A judge in Alaska on Tuesday rejected a case brought by the state Democratic Party seeking to remove Dem candidate Eric Hafner from the ballot because he’s never been to Alaska and is currently serving a 20 year sentence in a New Jersey federal prison after pleading guilty last year to threatening public servants, including election officials, the Anchorage Daily News reports on a theoretical blow to at-large Congresswoman Mary Peltola’s reelection prospects given that the Republican field in the top-four race consolidated against her since the primary.

Hafner placed sixth in the all-party, ranked choice primary, but was moved up to the fourth slot in the general when Trump-endorsed Lt Gov Nancy Dahlstrom and other Republican scrub Matt Salisbury dropped out and backed Nick Begich III, scion of the North Star State’s political dynasty with the wrinkle that his uncle, former Senator Mark Begich, and grandfather, former Congressman Nick Begich Sr, served as Democrats. Nick Begich II is an author of conspiracy books about the HAARP weather control technology and other batshittery. Apples and trees and all that.

Anyway, with the GOP field consolidated, Peltola and Dems are worried that Hafner could split off votes and took it to court where a judge said it’s too late to reprint the ballots, an obstacle that was not insurmountable for the jurists on North Carolina’s Supreme Court this week when they decided to remove a fringe candidate situational to which candidate he would harm most. This is Hafner’s third House bid, having previously run for seats in Oregon as a Dem and Hawaii as a Republican.

⁦@abcnews⁩ owes voters a correction. Its moderator claimed there’s nowhere where a baby born live from a botched abortion can be killed, In Minnesota, home to Harris’ veep nominee, eight babies born alive were allowed to die without lifesaving care. https://t.co/5d8MkrNcQ4

— John Solomon (@jsolomonReports) September 11, 2024

This morning there will be, as there has been for the past 22 September 11ths, a memorial ceremony to the lost at the World Trade Center in downtown Manhattan, a solemn reading of the names of those who died during that cataclysmic attack on innocent people – by Arab incels who immolated themselves on the orders of a lanky bearded freak billionaire who had a massive VHS and DVD porn collection he definitely never told them about, let alone let them watch for their pleasure.

On the other 364 or (365) mornings it’s crowded with tourists from all over the world, not a small number of them carrying selfie sticks and throwing up hand signs in poses, which in a way comes across as being just as morbid and disrespectful as the shitbags on convicted felon former President Trump’s campaign team’s politicized desecration of Arlington National Cemetery last month. After all, the footprints of the former Twin Towers – now beautiful waterfalls and reflecting pools lined with the names of the dead etched in stone – are a gravesite, the resting place of several hundred souls whose bodies were obliterated in the kamikaze crashes of the two airliners with 147 passengers and crew on board, the raging fires, and the subsequent collapses of the two skyscrapers.

There’s something off about some dickhead from Argentina or South Korea or France or wherever just cheesing it up for his several hundred Instagram friends before he does the same thing at the Statue of Liberty. Like who the fuck would do that at Auschwitz or Cabanatuan or the site of some other atrocity? You sure as hell aren’t allowed to do it at Arlington, where those who sacrificed themselves in the post-9/11 wars are buried (except if you’re a fascist who flouts the rules).

President Joe Biden on Wednesday approached convicted felon former President Trump at the World Trade Center ahead of the morning’s 9/11 memorial ceremony and the two “exchanged words,” per a very brief and otherwise detail-less description by the Washington Post’s Matt Vizer.

No specifics about their exchange were available yet, but maybe Biden expressed empathy, knowing all too well what it feels like to wake up after imploding on national television during a debate.

“The Consumer Price Index for All Urban Consumers (CPI-U) increased 0.2 percent on a seasonally adjusted basis, the same increase as in July, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported today. Over the last 12 months, the all items index increased 2.5 percent before seasonal adjustment. The index for shelter rose 0.5 percent in August and was the main factor in the all items increase. The food index increased 0.1 percent in August, after rising 0.2 percent in July. The index for food away from home rose 0.3 percent over the month, while the index for food at home was unchanged. The energy index fell 0.8 percent over the month, after being unchanged the preceding month,” says the US Bureau of Labor Statistics’ monthly Consumer Price Index report for last month.

This was more than forecasted by a Bloomberg survey of economists. So good news for MAGA world on a morning when it’s in woefully short supply. Watch for them to hype the shit out of this.

An anonymous Republican operative late Tuesday told Politico Playbook that he sees convicted felon former President Trump as extremely likely to soon do something stupid to try to generate a new news cycle after his debate train wreck. “The headline for the next few days will be how he lost this thing. I expect him to do something drastic, whether it’s a campaign shake-up or some other wild antic, by the end of the week to change the upcoming news cycle,” the operative said.

Convicted felon former President Trump sounded miserable and exhausted on Wednesday morning after the savage beating he took from Vice President Kamala Harris in Philadelphia the previous night, hailing a bunch of Twitter polls that don’t mean shit as evidence he “won” but then quickly slipping into bitching about the moderators and calling for ABC’s broadcast license to be revoked.

The fat bastard later implied that Harris had been given the questions in advance of the debate.

The Bulwark’s Tim Miller – a former Jeb Bush guy turned very excellent and witty podcaster – is out this morning with a personal oral history of his time in Trump’s spin room following the Philadelphia debate and all the schadenfreude he felt watching the meltdown. The best excerpt comes early:

Further down Miller describes encountering Lindsey Graham adding more context to the tweet Miller posted late Tuesday in which Graham had called the debate a “disaster” and that Trump’s prep team should be fired. Miller writes that Lindsey had actually exploded at him at first, for having approched him by asking “whether the debate made him more likely to come back around to our shared anti-Trump view from the glory days of 2016. Getting red-faced, the senator lashed out at me, saying I should be ‘ashamed’ for opposing Trump.” Lindsey then came around and made the admission it was a shitshow and that Trump was unprepared, giving Miller a fist bump before parting ways.

An internal NRSC memo obtained by Punchbowl News reveals a freakout in the Senate GOP ranks about incumbent, sitting senators not doing enough to help out challenger candidates. “Nearly every Democrat Senator is ‘split sending’ for other Senators and candidates AND sending on their own email/text house files,” the memo reads. “We do not do enough of this on our side of the aisle.”

“Especially if you are not up in 2024, please help those that are. It will not only raise more hard dollars for our candidates but also keep your files active and engaged when you aren’t on the ballot for 2-4 more years,” continued the memo, intended for internal use only, with the goal of informing senators and candidates about their digital fundraising operations and comparing them to other challengers and incumbents. The NRSC declined to comment to Punchbowl.

The parents of an Ohio boy killed last year when a Haitian migrant plowed his minivan into a school bus last year are beyond fed up with shit like Jaydee Vance claiming he was “murdered” and are pleading with Republicans to stop using his death for political gain, NBC News reports.

“Using Aiden as a political tool is, to say the least, reprehensible for any political purpose,” said Nathan Clark, referring to his deceased son Aiden, during the public comment session at a Springfield city meeting Tuesday, hours after Jaydee had posted that hateful shit on Twitter. “This needs to stop now. I will listen to them one more time to hear their apologies,” Clark added.

“My son Aiden Clark was not murdered. He was accidentally killed by an immigrant from Haiti. This tragedy is felt all over this community, the state and even the nation, but don’t spend this towards hate. In order to live like Aiden, you need to accept everyone,” continued, wife Danielle by his side as he named four “morally bankrupt” Republicans for referring to his son: Trump, Vance, Ohio Republican Senate candidate Bernie Moreno, and Texas Congressman Chip “Colonel Sanders” Roy.

Dem donation platform ActBlue processed its billionth dollar in transactions since July 21st early Wednesday morning, the New York Times reports. It’s not clear yet how much Vice President Kamala Harris’s campaign raised before and after the debate but nine figures is not out of the question.

The CNN “instant poll” of debate watchers finds 63 percent of respondents think Vice President Kamala Harris won the debate to 37 percent believing convicted felon former President Trump won, a shift from the 50/50 expected, and a complete reversal from the 63 to 37 split from Biden v Trump.

A bad night for MAGAmerica just got worse as the 21st Century female Elvis dropped her official endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris, writing “Like many of you, I watched the debate tonight. If you haven’t already, now is a great time to do your research on the issues at hand and the stances these candidates take on the topics that matter to you the most. As a voter, I make sure to watch and read everything I can about their proposed policies and plans for this country. Recently I was made aware that Al of ‘me’ falsely endorsing Donald Trump’s presidential run was posted to his site. It really conjured up my fears around Al, and the dangers of spreading misinformation. It brought me to the conclusion that I need to be very transparent about my actual plans for this election as a voter. The simplest way to combat misinformation is with the truth.”

Lol at the self-fulfilling prophecy. “I will be casting my vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz in the 2024 Presidential Election. I’m voting for @kamalaharris because she fights for the rights and causes I believe need a warrior to champion them. I think she is a steady-handed, gifted leader and I believe we can accomplish so much more in this country if we are led by calm and not chaos,” and so on and so forth Swift continued before calling herself a “childless cat lady at the end.”

Hey, did you hear there’s a REALLY BIG presidential debate going down in less than an hour? It’s all over the news! We’re running what folks in the industry call a “live blog,” mixing in our real-time reactions with those from internet users famous and some not so famous. Strap in for a wild ride!

🥓 BREAKING NEWS 🥓 Hormel Foods made the next limited drop in their sizzling hot and ultra-exclusive “Black Label” marque of salty strips of pork flesh real: Cinnamon Toast Crunch “Cinnadust”-seasoned 12 oz pre-cooked weight packs will hit select Walmart stores nationwide starting Monday, with availability at Kroger locations over the following several weeks.

“The makers of HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® Bacon are introducing the category’s first-ever co-branded bacon in partnership with CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH™ cereal, and the combination of sweet and salty never tasted better. The limited-edition product delivers a crisp, sugary crust with a delicious balance of cinnamon, sugar, salt and savory bacon taste. CINNADUST™ seasoning blend is hand-rubbed onto thick-cut bacon and held overnight for optimal flavor. Two brands with a passionate fanbase, this craveable collaboration is meant for snacking, pairing and enjoying during any hour of the day. As the boldest of all bacon brands and a leader in product and flavor innovation, the makers of HORMEL® BLACK LABEL® Bacon bring unrivaled expertise to the partnership with CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH™ – an iconic cereal from General Mills with a cult-like following. BLACK LABEL® CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH™ Bacon officially takes bacon to the next level.”

“‘Sweet and savory is such a classic combination, and blasting BLACK LABEL® bacon with our CINNADUST™ seasoning blend is a no-brainer to deliver the epic flavor our fans love in even more ways,’ said Brandon Tyrrell, senior marketing manager for CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH™,” said Hormel in a press release that goes on for considerable length. It appears the Cinnamon Toast Crunch flavor is thus far the only mashup with another brand in the “Black Label” line as the company’s website displays the variety along with some tantalizing but non-exclusive other options such as garlic rosemary, ranch, and jalapeño, along with more traditional “maplewood” and the like.