Brainwormed not-really-independent presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jr on Friday filed a lawsuit in North Carolina to get himself removed from the ballot, claiming that “practicality” of throwing out absentee ballots that are already being printed is not a legal basis to keep him on it and that the Dem-majority state Board of Elections was aware of his intent to withdraw and endorse convicted felon former President Trump before he did, the News and Observer reports.

“To the extent NCSBE claims it is ‘impractical’ to remove him from the ballot, it is an issue of NCSBE’s own making,” the lawsuit states. The Board’s executive director, Karen Brinson Bell, told board members that any halt in ballot printing could have caused the state to miss its statutory deadline for sending out absentee ballots, as well as cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

A new national survey by ABC News and Ipsos finds Vice President Kamala Harris leading convicted felon former President Trump by 52 to 46 percent in a head-to-head and 51 to 46 percent among likely voters in the full field with Russian assets Robert F Kennedy Jr, Jill Stein, and Cornel West included. Noting that Bobby Jr still polls at 5 percent after dropping out, they asked his fans if him backing Donald makes them more likely to support the Orange Tyrant, to which just 12 percent said yes, 9 percent said no, and the rest said it makes no difference, they’re still voting for him anyway.

On the pretty novel question of “Regardless of whom you support, how would you rate the job Kamala Harris/Donald Trump is doing handling her/his campaign for president?” the poll found a wide gap in reviews of how the Harris and Trump campaigns are being conducted – even between the respective partisan sides: 56 percent of all respondents and indepdents said Harris was doing good to Trump 41, among indies it dropped to 38 percent. Significantly more Dem respondents – 93 percent – said Harris was running a good campaign than Republicans – 79 percent – who would say the same about Trump. Vice versa it was 24 percent of GOP respondents saying Harris was running a good campaign to just 13 percent of Democratic voters saying Trump is doing the same.

“Comrade Kamala Harris lied about working at McDonalds. SHE NEVER WORKED THERE, they think she’s ‘nuts.’ Likewise, she lied about Fracking, the Border, Crime, the Economy, and the Democrat’s ‘Suckers and Losers’ HOAX, concerning our great military. She also lied about Arlington Cemetery and Afghanistan. She lies about everything!!!” posted convicted felon former President Trump on Saturday, wading into the “Stolen McValor” scandal by claiming McDonald’s Corporation – or maybe just one McDonald’s franchise – thinks Vice President Kamala Harris is “nuts” and lying.

Earlier this week we had pondered how serious a schism was developing inside MAGA world between Team Forced-Birth and Team More-“Babies”-Will-Die-If-Kamala-Harris-Is-Elected-So-Shut-The Fuck-Up, comparing it to the Blue Coalition’s inner turmoil over Israel’s ongoing malevolent depraved indifference to human life in Gaza, given the electoral similarities. While the admittedly clunky premise and framing of “Maybe this is all just Twitter bullshit, and maybe it isn’t” left some readers lost on the significance of a growing revolt inside of the MAGAverse – and that’s on us – it seemed plenty others did in fact get it but outright dismissed that the rift could be metastasizing.

Is convicted felon former President Trump telling NBC “six weeks is too short, it has to be more time, and I’ve told them that I want more weeks, I am going to be voting that we need more than six weeks” when asked about how he would vote on the Florida Amendment 4 abortion ballot measure and then, less than 24 hours later, telling Fox News that he was going to vote against it a strong enough signal that, yeah, maybe it was metastasizing and Trump was in fact getting worried?

You really have to step back and appreciate just how hard of a U-turn the hardcore “pro-lifers” just forced out of him. Months and months of the fat bastard “moderating” on abortion to try to sap President Joe Biden’s strongest issue with voters – one now even stronger for Vice President Kamala Harris – to the point where he literally posted “My Administration will be great for women and their reproductive rights” eight days ago. Then a week later he endorses keeping in place a pretty hard six-week ban that’s a non-starter with pro-choice voters. Why the hell else would they have gotten hundreds of thousands of people to sign a petition to get it on the November ballot?

In an incredibly not shocking development, convicted felon former President Trump’s defense team on Friday asked DC Circuit Judge Tanya Chutkan to adopt their schedule for the next steps in the newly-superseded post-2020 election coup attempt conspiracy case, a very lax one with just two filing deadlines prior to November 5th, because “The Special Counsel has returned a superseding indictment that includes substantial changes to its prior allegations. President Trump correspondingly requires time to review the new charging instrument as he determines what steps and procedures to undertake regarding, among other motions, his Presidential immunity defense.”

Yes, “substantial changes to its prior allegations” is objectively true. It’s just that claiming Smith’s team giving them less homework means they need more time now is like, what the fuck do they think is going to happen after Chutkan reads that? Is she going to say “Oh this is a compelling, good-faith argument, as is the part where he’s trying to say tweeting ‘Mike Pence didn’t have the courage to do what should have been done to protect our Country and our Constitution,’ is privileged communication with his Vice President. I’ll go with Trump’s proposed schedule”?

• There’s a lot to mock in politics on both sides of the aisle.  You can have fun with a lot of things.  The drama gives you a lot to laugh at.  But nothing is more grotesque than the exploitation of the graves of the honored dead who defended this country by a grinning con man set on undermining the Constitution.
• Trump’s Kennedy bump in the polls has been predictably underwhelming, hasn’t it?
• When you start shoving staff at a national cemetery, you stop being campaign staff and you start being Brown Shirts.
• It was in no way overwhelming, but that was the point.  The Harris-Walz interview was happily normal, with politicians answering questions in normal politician ways–sometimes being direct sometimes slightly obfuscating–but never once bemoaning about how personally attacked they are and what a victim they’ve become by campaigning for the highest office in the land.
  Read More ▶ “Random thoughts Friday, Volume CLXXXIX”

Two female elephants at the Columbus (Ohio) Zoo will give birth to calves fathered by the same male next year, if all goes as planned, the Washington Post reports.  The 36-year-old Asian elephant Sabu impregnated both 37-year-old Phoebe and 15-year-old Sunny.  (Look, don’t judge.  It’s different for elephants, just like it is for Republicans like Matt Gaetz.)

This will be Phoebe’s third pregnancy and Sunny’s first.  It will greatly assist the efforts to breed the endangered Asian elephant.  “This is a big step for us,” a zoo official said. “Baby elephants are rare, and this showcases our ability to help the population as a whole, with sustainability over the next 100 years.”

Unseen from the fixed-view camera used for most rallies, a Donald Trump fan allegedly took his reichmarshall’s words seriously, charging the press pen during Trump’s Johnstown, Pennsylvania rally as Trump complained about media coverage, Politico reports.

Police officers had to use tasers to subdue the man as members of the crowd booed.  It’s unclear if they were booing the police officers who stopped the man or the man for interrupting Trump’s speech.  Police have not released the man’s identity.  It’s unclear if he’ll face charges or if Trump will pay his legal fees.

Sentenced to nine months in a correction facility for taking part in the January 6th Republican-led domestic terrorist attack on Congress, Antony Vo of Indiana failed to show up for his incarceration date at the federal prison in Terra Haute earlier this summer and now authorities believe he has fled to Canada, CBS News reports.

Convicted on four counts, Vo attended the attack with his mother.  They went through the Capitol with Vo taking multiple selfies and videos of himself yelling “Freedom!”  Overseeing the case, Judge Tanya Chutkan chided Vo at his April sentencing for repeatedly violating his parole terms and calling the trial a “kangaroo court” on social media.

A judge in Sao Paulo ordered the social media platform previously known as Twitter to suspend operations in Brazil after petulant billionaire Elon Musk refused to comply with the court’s order to appoint a representative in Brazil, the Associated Press reports.

The order from Justice Alexandre de Moraes orders internet service providers in the country of 215 million people five days to block access to the site, which has repeatedly ignored Brazilian orders to remove disinformation about domestic politics and other topics to comply with national law.  Musk refuses to comply with the court’s order, claiming it’s demanding censorship of right-wing speech.

Convicted felon former President Trump is rallying his cult in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, site of one of the deadliest disasters in American history: A dam collapse and flood that killed at least 2,200 people in 1889. Funny enough it was the result of the kind of lax oversight of industry the obese autocrat and his far right buddies want to bring about with their Project 2025 reich.

Vice President Kamala Harris and Minnesota Governor Tim Walz’s interview airing Thursday night on CNN pulled in 5.92 million viewers, the network’s best night in the 9 PM time slot since the Biden-Trump debate and before that Biden’s inauguration, media analyst Brian Stelter reports.

Listed in convicted felon former President Trump’s latest financial asset disclosure is a random, tiny condo in Palm Beach, Florida, just 10 minutes away from Mar-a-Lago. Forbes looked into it and found that the fat bastard received the deed to it last year because its previous owner, Barbara J Fischer, had listed him as the beneficiary in her will in 2019. Fischer had no personal connection to Trump whatsoever, she was just a fan who wrote that he should take the condo “to sell as he sees fit” and “hopefully the monies of which shall be used for the continuation of the wall between the United States of America and Mexico,” but crossed that out in May 2021.

In his disclosure, Trump valued the property in the $100,000 to $250,000 range, but will have to wait a few years before he can start renting it out to a tenant. Obviously he’s not going to sell it to use the proceeds to build a wall with Mexico or for some other MAGA-worthy cause.

Russian dictator Vladimir Putin has apparently decided his ambitions for a sphere of influence in West Africa might be a little less important than countering a literal invasion of his country and has ordered at least 100 of his “Bear Brigade” men stationed in Burkina Faso back home to fight off Ukrainian troops on the ground in the Kursk Region of Mother Russia, the BBC reports.

A couple might have avoided getting arrested last week for shoplifting $1,000 worth of sunglasses and shit from a Nordstrom Rack store in Oklahoma City if the husband hadn’t fallen asleep when he was supposed to be looking out for security guards and police, KFOR reports.

Brandon Burkholtz was leaning up against a wall inside the outlet department store’s location on Belle Isle Boulevard when he nodded off while wife Candis Garner was pilfering the items, missing the cues that cops were closing in. After she was cuffed, Garner yelled, “Thanks for telling me the cops were here,” at her husband. Police began questioning Burkholtz and one way or another they found probably cause to put him under arrest too. Both were charged with felony larceny.

The erectile dysfunction-themed Donald Trump biopic The Apprentice, which fell off the radar a while ago as pressure from right wingers threatened to doom the film to be shelved until after the election, if ever, will actually end up hitting theaters this October 11th as producer Tom Ortenberg’s Briarcliff Films managed to acquire it, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

We have no way of knowing whether or not this movie would have ended up seeing the light of day pre-November if Joe Biden hadn’t dropped out of the race. It was obvious however that at least part of the reluctance of domestic distributors to pick it up stemmed from fear of retaliation by a second Trump Reich, making it hard not to notice the deal coming after a change of political circumstances.

Pennsylvania MAGA Congressman Dan Meuser didn’t really have such a positive experience on CNN Sunday morning, whining about how Kamala Harris’s interview wasn’t a trainwreck, and squirmed over questions about convicted felon former President Trump’s racial malevolence toward Harris and his campaign event at Arlington National Cemetery on Monday, claiming it’s “meaningless” and a “sideshow.”

“Kamala Harris’s campaign handlers were no doubt giving each other high-fives on Thursday night watching their candidate’s interview on CNN. The Vice President got away for the most part with repeating her campaign’s platitudes about ‘the middle class’ and ‘a new way forward’ and was never seriously challenged on anything. That’s a shame because the voters still haven’t received a straight answer about whether, and how, she has changed her views from the far-left positions she espoused in 2019 as a presidential candidate,” wrote the Wall Street Journal’s douchey editorial board late Thursday, plainly let down by the lack of any real gaffes or verbal fuckups in the Veep’s performance during the CNN interview with Dana Bash after the Journal’s editorial board and others in both the mainstream and right wing media sphere had spent weeks agitating for a sit-down.

Horserace-y tip sheet Politico Playbook figured if they couldn’t bring themselves to giving Harris a solid review in her own right they would at least cast it as bad for the fat felon: “Overall, the interview suggested to us how tough Donald Trump’s job is now – and especially at the Sept 10 debate. His two main areas of attack are to cast her as left-wing and to tie her to the unpopular Biden. Last night, Harris showed how she will defend herself against both of those charges.”

Meanwhile Axios struggled to make lemons out of lemonade, writing “In a reflection of her campaign’s ‘move forward’ theme, Harris couldn’t bring herself to repeat a word that CNN’s Dana Bash used to describe the president’s approach to lowering unemployment and tackling high prices: ‘Bidenomics.’ Instead, Harris carefully took credit for America’s post-COVID economic recovery and lowering drug costs while acknowledging there’s more work to do… Harris is making a delicate argument. She’s pushing plans to turbocharge an economy her boss insists is already humming.”

Bidenflation dropped to 2.2 percent in the Eurozone during August, the AP reports, showing that but that means prices are still up for hard-working Europeans struggling to put baguettes on the table.

We could sure use some mean tweets from former European President Donald Trump right about now. The price of a litre of petrol was lower when he was in charge of Europe. Kamala Harris is a Europe-last Vice President. Allons-y Brandeun!!! Trump 2024! MAKE EUROPE GREAT AGAIN!

MAGA Ohio Congressman Max Miller – a former Trump White House and campaign aide alleged to have punched his ex-girlfriend, former Press Secretary Steph Grisham in response to accusations of infidelity during their relationship in 2020 – is filing for divorce from wife Emily Moreno, daughter of assclown Buckeye State Republican Senate candidate Bernie Moreno, just 10 months after Emily gave birth to their daughter and a little over two months before election day, the Daily Mail reports.

It’s that last part that’s insane. Obviously Miller’s a piece of shit for lying about being a recruiter in the Marine Corps separate and apart from being publicly accused of domestic abuse. And if he was getting divorced or it was just the state party’s Senate candidate’s daughter getting divorced it’s whatever, shit happens. But that it’s both is just… What the fuck is so bad about this woman that Miller can’t at least publicly pretend everything’s fine for another 10 weeks and then file for divorce rather than create a distraction for both campaigns? Who needs this kind of headache now?